Hunted By The Wolf

Hunted by the Wolf

Chapter 17: Internal Vacuum


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So I took out the demi-lemon and
decided to extend the angst. It was
just too soon and too unlikely that the boy would
heal so fast, right? Right. Sorry for the absence!
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Fingertips tingled cold, numb, as I turned his burning face
towards me. His eyes were closed, his breathing was hoarse. I
could only pray that I wouldn't see any blood bubble out of that
mouth.
"Sango, let Kagome look at it." It. The wound? Or him? I was
directing my anger at Inuyasha, wasn't I? Kohaku wasn't around
for me to exact my grief on, nor would I have if he was around. I was
pulled away, and I watched through a milky membrane in my head as
Kagome poured the burning, bubbling liquid over the wound in his
chest; it made me sick to watch it pool behind him. It was going
straight through. I watched, zombified.

I always expect to lose anything and anyone that might
cause a shred of happiness. This never comes as a surprise. Miroku
was pulling me up, off of the dirt and supporting me completely
where we stood. I could feel his heart beating furiously inside
his chest as he watched me with that concerned expression.
I stared dumbly at the blurry vision of Kagome in front of me.

Kagome's jaw was set harder than I'd ever seen, and she nodded
quickly at Inuyasha after he snipped the strong wire with his claws. She
began to sew Kouga's chest shut, and I wondered at how she
kept her hands steady. I couldn't feel a damn thing.

Literally. I just couldn't move, or talk, or be of any use. DAMN
that kid. Damn him. I wished he and I had just died before
I met any of these people. Their lives would be much less complicated,
they would be so much safer, without me around. Miroku
dragged me to a slanted rock, set me down and pulled a
detached pant leg completely down. Lolling my head lazily to
him, I watched as he cleaned the gouges, teeth marks, in my thigh.
I couldn't even feel that burn. Normally I was a baby and at least
grit my teeth at the bubbling...

Numb. I could barely support myself. Dark eyes flickered up
to me in worry. What did he want from me? What should I say?
I'm a failure, yes I know, awful warrior and no woman would just
shut down after watching her friends, and maybe a man she wanted,
nearly get killed...

He coughed off to the side and pulled the sides of the wrap tight around my
leg.
"When are you going to stop?" He said finally, irritated. "He needs you, we
need you, to stop blaming yourself. We can either go after Kohaku or you
can go help Kagome. Either way you're going to stop this comatose
thing right now." Blinking a few times, his proximity to me became
obvious. Pulled back, glared at him. "Don't follow me," I growled shortly,
and took off running. The pain all over me was barely recognizable,
knowing Kohaku was nearby was enough reason for me to keep going.

What was I doing? How could I leave him? I pushed myself harder, saw drops of
blood reflecting the moonlight. When was he hurt? Hard to tell with
this kid. Always attacking or being attacked I suppose. I would
end this now. I would kidnap him. Incapacitate him, and drag him
with me back to my camp. He may have had all the training I had, but
I had years of experience on him.

A shadow blocked out light over me for a second, and I chanced a
look up. Kirara. She was moving ahead, head dipping as she sniffed
the air. Kitten, so lost without you. A bed of rocks caused me to
jump, grit my teeth as I landed on the bad leg. Even after I killed his
brother, he jumped in front of a weapon for me. What was he
thinking?

Kirara's roar stopped me. She was ahead in a clearing, moonlight on her
fur beautiful as ever. Hackles were raised up, and her head was lowered.
I could see him standing about fifteen feet in front of her, clutching his
throwing arm. Had she done that? I realized I had no weapon. But
really, his throwing arm was his weapon. I had Kirara, at least.

"Give up." I commanded, voice much more confident than I was. "Just
drop the weapon and come with me." Obviously, this wasn't going to
work..but I wanted my intentions known to the primitive brain that had
taken over. It was not to kill him, but to take him with me. His throwing
arm tried to wind up the chain, but faltered and he grimaced.

She had bitten into him, I think. Braver than I. He made a move to dash
into the bushes and Kirara was ahead of him before he could truly see what had
happened. He stopped, eyes vacant and face unresponsive as ever. I wanted
to strangle him sometimes. Though I'd never say it. I moved slowly towards
him, as you do a wounded bear. I knew he could still lash out. Hunters
were resourceful. He watched me boredly, as though I was a fly about
to enter a web. I circled, arms up. Didn't know what to expect.

The chain came at me, the sicle still glistening with Kouga's dark blood. Here
we are, I thought. I jumped above where the chain went and kicked at it's side.
Sicle went careening off course and into a tree to the right of the boy. His head
turned slowly towards it, and I saw my chance. I ran at his side, and he moved
to get away. I kicked the kid in the shoulder, sent him into the chain on the
ground. I pushed him a few times, rolling him up in that chain from shoulder to
ankle. I called Kirara, and she moved to put a paw on him. No way.

No way he would get out, I thought as I panted. His shoulder was bleeding profusely, but
I knew that given the chance the kid would slit my throat if he got out. "We've got to get
him back." I said quickly, putting a hand on her shoulderblade. She growled low and
put her mouth around the chain, yanking it from the tree trunk. I took it from her and hooked
it to the ball at the end of the chain. Less chance of getting out, maybe. He
watched us both boredly, vacant.

I swallowed hard and stared into those void eyes, knew what this meant. Utter confrontation
with this living doll. He was once my brother.

***

"Sango-" Miroku's voice was choked with something akin to fear as he laid eyes on my
brother's incapacitated form.
"I don't want to put any of you in danger," I started. "We're leaving." I turned to go,
nodding off my farewells and avoiding the view of Kouga's limp form next to the fire, but Kagome was in
our path, hands on her hips.
"Oh no, no you don't," She said tersely. "I did not spend an hour patching Kouga up only
to get yelled at when he wakes up and finds you gone. There's no way you're leaving us." She
nodded to her own words, believed them.

"I can't keep any of you around him. I don't even really want him near Kirara, but I don't have a choice
in the matter. Just let me go, Kagome. I love you and I'll try to find you all once something
is resolved."

She stood with her jaw open and her eyes glassy. She didn't believe me. Didn't think I'd
go. But I had to. Miroku's gaze cut into me like glass from across the fire,
and I felt Inuyasha's dissaproval from the tree branch he inhabited. It couldn't be helped.

Really, it couldn't.

***

We'd found a cave, mossy and unused, and very much so hidden from any human establishments.
If he did get out or away, I didn't want his killer instincts unleashed on an unsuspecting
village. I stared him down across the fire, wondering what I had planned to do now...

I didn't plan on anything, really. I'd gathered roots, however, while Kirara watched him
about an hour prior, and they were the kind Kagome had shown me she used at
home when she couldn't sleep. They knocked you out, apparently. I burned them,
right in front of the kid, and put the remnants into a tea. He glared at me. He knew.
I crouched in front of him, and his lips remained closed. How to make this work?
It wasn't hot anymore, so I could, theoretically, just pour it down his throat..

I plugged his nose with two fingers, and waited. I knew he would hold out for as long as he could.
Finally! Kohaku's mouth opened, gasping for air, and I took my chance. He sputtered
a bit, but I was sure most of it went down. I pulled back and watched. He seemed
emotionless, but angry nonetheless. Within ten minutes, he was snoring.

It worked! I sighed deeply from this latest and pitiful victory, nodding at Kirara.
She became her smaller self and came to sit next to me.
"What can I possibly do when he wakes up?" I asked her, scratching behind an ear.
She purred softly, and seemed to shrug. Really, I hadn't thought this out well.
I needed shackles and chains...I cringed at the thought of holding him against his will,
but what else was there to do? Let him run free and cause my tribe more problems?

"Better gather more of these.. Kirara, watch him like a hawk." I patted her one last
time and went out. The sky was lightening, I'd been up for so long. I stank of demons.
Their blood, anyhow.. I scouted out some more of the weed, cradled it like a child. I
would need copious amounts in the coming days..

The sky was streaking pink and light blue, and my body was growing too tired to
hold up much longer.. I layed down behind Kohaku, keeping the two feet between us
that would stop him from scooting back and slicing open my belly with the sicle
if he chose to do so.

"I will have you back soon enough," I whispered, tears threatening my eyes. I squeezed
them shut and forced myself to sleep.

****

Three days had gone by. I was surprised that Kohaku hadn't wet himself, as I refused to
let him out of the bonds for even a moment. Control of an amazing variety, I suppose. It was
still daylight, barely. I hated keeping him sedated. He'd lost weight, but he wouldn't eat.
I felt really awful. I was tempted to let him go.

I sat at the entrance to the cave, one eye on him and the other on the forest around us. Kirara was dosing
in a patch of sun. I'm a moron, I thought. I didn't think this out at all. I can't control him
on my own... I need more proper bonds if I'm going to keep this up..

I put my face in my hands, but heard metal scrape against rock. I looked sharply up at him
from where he glared at me in the shadows. He was always plotting... plotting to get
out. It was wearing on me. We sat until it got semi-dark, staring at one another.

This situation...I was losing my mind. I didn't want him near me anymore. This
wasn't my brother..this was an empty shell.

I set our fire ablaze and sat back to cry against the cave wall. He watched me
with either contempt or apathy, I couldn't tell. I wept, fingernails flexing against
the cave wall.
"Say something, damn you!" I yelled at him, shrill and too weak-sounding for
my approval. He didn't flinch. I sniffled until I stopped, eyes raw and
unblinking, staring straight at him. I could do this for a long time too.

Kirara mewed a few times kneaded my leg.
"What?" I asked sharply, not taking my eyes away from the skinny gargoyle
that stared at me across the fire.
"If I was anybody else you'd be dead right now." I jumped at the male voice, wrist blade
drawn. He stopped dead in his tracks, blinked a few times. "It's just me.."

"Damn it! I told you not to follow me!" I yelled, put the blade back where it
belonged. I stood up and dusted myself off.
"It smells like.." Miroku's voice dropped away and he stared me down. "Are you
sedating him?" I looked to the ground.
"What else can I do?" I met with the boy's gaze, felt his hatred burn through
me. Why did I even try?
"I don't know if this is your best option, Sango.." Miroku put a hand on my arm and
I shrugged him off.
"What would you know about this, Miroku? None of your family members ever turned
on you!" He never reacted well to yelling, and this time was no exception.
"I never expected such a selfish, bratty thing to come out of your mouth, Sango.
No family members ever turned on me because they're all dead." His face was cold,
and he turned to go out.

"Kagome's worried about you. I saw Kirara flying around earlier and followed her
here. Just...don't do anything you'll be ashamed of later." He added in grimly, glancing
behind me to the boy. I felt anger boil up inside of me.

But said nothing. I turned to go back into the cave, resumed our nightly staring
match. What could I do?

"You can't do this alone." Was he really back in this goddamn cave?
"I thought you were leaving," I bit out, not looking up.
"I need you with us. You need us to help you with this...Kouga regained
consciousness today. Don't you," His voice cut out here, and he turned away from me. "Don't
you want to see him?" He whispered, and I knew how hard this all was...I didn't want to
be alive.

"No. He is nothing to me," I affirmed, emotionless and void. The dark eyes in the monk's
face bore into me, detecting the lie the second it escaped. Sighs escaped his lips and
he looked to Kohaku.

"Sango this can't end well. This isn't the way to get him back.." I felt my throat
tighten into a ball.
"Please, you don't know that... I can't kill him, Miroku! I can't lay a finger on him...
how else can I stop him from hurting other people? I can't. So come up with a
better option.." Losing control.

"I can't. So I'm bringing Kagome and Inuyasha here. As soon as Kouga can
move I'm sure he'll want to see you. Just stay here, please.." I couldn't read
his voice. Between grief and irritation, dissappointment and fear for me...I didn't
want any combination of the four.

The swish of his robes and the clanging of his staff were the last things I heard before
I passed out. I forgot to do something important, but I was just so tired..

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UGH I hated this chapter too. Talk about self pity.

But this was a little more realistic than the wham bam thank you ma'am I had up, right?

!PARALISIS PERMANENTE POR VIVA!