Contracting Love
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InuYasha › General
Rating:
Adult ++
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18
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Currently Reading:
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Category:
InuYasha › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
18
Views:
10,742
Reviews:
172
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.
Staplegunned
AN: **bows before the readers** I’m sorry. Please forgive me for taking so long with this chapter. This past year has been a huge transition for me and it’s been difficult for me to write. This chapter I had to practically force out, and I’m not all that proud of it to begin with. In fact, this is my third attempt at writing it. I couldn’t have done it at all without some help from my fabulous beta, Vivienne, who helped me come up with a happy ending…sortta.
I know this seems to leave a lot unanswered. I’m sorry for that too.
The title for this chapter comes from a song by The Spill Canvas, off of their CD “One Fell Swoop”. If you’ve never heard of them, check ‘em out. They have a MySpace page and you can listen to a couple of their songs.
All hail TSC!
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything.
Chapter 17: Staplegunned
Kagome leapt out of her chair and dashed to the elevator as soon as she saw Sango. **Just a little more time,** she prayed. “Hey, Sango!” she said cheerfully, blocking the woman from entering further.
Poor Sango looked like they’d really put her through the ringer in court. She had a stack of papers under each arm and her briefcase was so full it could have had its own zip code. Her glasses sat haphazardly atop her head and her hair was being held up by a pencil and a couple of paperclips. She smiled wearily at Kagome as the younger woman grabbed one of the stacks of papers from under her arm to ease her burden. There were smudges under both her eyes, a sign of the emotional dam that had been broken a few nights before while she and Kagome dined on sugar and Blockbuster.
“Thanks, Kags.” Sango tried to step around to head to her office but found herself being blocked as Kagome hopped in front of her. She raised one delicate eyebrow at her friend before trying moving to the other side. Kagome promptly blocked her way again. Sango sighed and wished she had a free hand to rub her tired eyes. “Kagome, what are you doing?”
“I, uh…thought we could go across the street and get a cup of coffee! You know, just sit down and, uh, enjoy the day?”
She smiled, wary at her friends strange behavior. “Sure. Just let me put these papers in my office.” She tried once more to move down the hall, and once more Kagome blocked the way. Sighing in irritation, Sango pushed passed her and trudged down the hall, frowning slightly at the strange looks and sly smiles she received.
“Why don’t you let me put these away while you go wait by the elevator? Or you could just lay these on my desk! You can put them away once we get back! It’ll only take 15 minutes or so!”
“Yeah, and it will only take me about a second and a half to put them on…my…desk….”
Carelessly dropping her burden by the door, Sango took a slow turn around the room, staring in awe at the dozens of roses sitting atop her desk, on the windowsills, and resting in chairs, touching their delicate petals as if they were made of glass. “What…”
She noticed it then, a small white piece of paper tied with a white ribbon to the stem of each flower. Turning it over, she stared at the hand-written words.
‘The way your eyes sparkle when you smile,’ it read. She turned over another. And another.
‘The way you fidget when you’re nervous.’
‘The sound of your sigh just before you fall asleep.’
‘The perfect fit of your head against my shoulder.’
“What…where did all these come from?” She turned to Kagome, her eyes shining.
Kagome stood in the doorway clutching the stack of papers she held to her chest, looking with sorrow filled eyes at her friend’s lost expression. “They’ve been delivering them all morning a dozen at a time. The first was brought in at nine o’clock, but you’d already left for court by then. It’s been every half hour after that. Sixteen dozen in all. 192 roses. Each one with one of those little notes attached.” She took a cautious step into the room, careful to make as little noise as possible. “Sango….”
“He sent these, didn’t he?” she whispered. “Miroku…sent these to me.”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“But why…?”
“It seemed like a good way to get your attention.”
She froze instantly in the middle of her exploration of one of the soft petals afraid to turn around. Her mind fought with itself. One part began to beg, **Please. Please just go away. Not here. Not like this,** while another part, somewhat quieter in its admissions, but somehow stronger in conviction, said simply, **Stay.**
Kagome looked back and forth between Sango and the man who’d caused her so much pain. Sango looked like she was about to cave-in on herself, she seemed so desperate to flee. Miroku looked as immaculate as ever, even dressed in a pair of dark jeans and blue t-shirt. But she noticed the dark smudges under his eyes and his cheeks looked slightly hollowed, the way people look after a particularly crazy weekend bender. His shoulders hunched and head slightly bowed, he looked the picture of submission and caution, taking a careful step into the room as though he were afraid to make any noise or threatening movements.
It was quite for several moments and Kagome could feel the tension thicken in response. She began to shift the papers in he arms uncomfortably in anticipation. She finally decided that she was indeed not going to be able to listen in on this particular conversation while in the room.
“Um…I think I hear the phone ringing. I’d better go answer that. It’s probably important.” She set her burden down on the nearest chair and hurried out, giving Miroku a warning glance as she shut the door behind her.
They were alone and without distraction now, which seemed to make the tension greater.
**I will not say anything,** Sango assured herself. **I will not say a word. I’ll just let him get whatever it is off his chest and then he’ll leave. He’ll leave and then…there will be no reason to come back.** Tears started forming at the thought but she forced them back.
***
Gods, how he wanted to touch her.
He watched her stand perfectly still, and totally closed off to him, as minutes ticked by. She hated him, and he couldn’t blame her. He hated himself for how it had turned out. But, damnit, he was *not* sorry it happened.
He and Inuyasha had stayed up most of the night planning out what Miroku was going to say when he finally got to see Sango. Since Inuyasha, good friend that he was, wasn’t exactly the most eloquent when it came to making apologies, planning consisted mostly of Miroku pacing his apartment trying out what to say while Inuyasha smoked his cigarettes. Might as well. Miroku wasn’t really a smoker anyway and didn’t even remember buying them. Good to know someone was getting some use out of them.
But now, as he stood in her office watching her act like a dear caught in headlights, everything he’d memorized was suddenly erased from his memory. A moment of panic set in as he tried to think of something, *anything*, to break the silence.
He remembered the envelope in his back pocket and the panic receded as he pulled it out and looked at it. Carefully he came up behind Sango and placed in on the desk beside her hand.
“It’s all there,” he said stepping back. “Seven thousand dollars cash. I meant to give it to you the other night at the hotel.”
Sango swallowed thickly, the lump in her throat making it hard to do so. She clenched her fists, crushing one of the flowers as she tried to keep her emotions under control. “Is that all?” she whispered.
He was quiet for a while as he watched her. He breathed deeply, fortifying himself for what was to come next. This would be the hardest confession he had ever made. One thing was for sure; he had never been so determined, and so unsure of the outcome, in all his life. **I’ll understand if you still hate me when this is over, Sango. But I can’t leave it like this between us. Not with you. I’ve never cared what any woman thought of me before. I can’t leave with you thinking so low of me.**
“No. That’s not all.” He chose his words carefully. “I didn’t use you, Sango. I know you think I did, but I didn’t. I’ve never met anyone like you. You’re strong, stronger than any other woman. You’re smart and beautiful and you have a wonderful sense of humor that most people don’t get to see.” He swallowed. **Oh, boy. Here we go.**
“Inuyasha put the condoms in my pocket. I didn’t even know they were there until I was about to leave. I didn’t plan for any of that to happen, Sango, and I know you probably don’t believe a word I’m saying but I had every intention of leaving you untouched.
“But I’m not going to apologize for any of it either. I’m not sorry it happened.
“You’re not like the others, Sango. You’re not shallow like they are. I’ll never understand why you felt you needed to hire me in the first place because you’re better than that. You don’t need their approval. Look at yourself! You’re an ADA, you’re got friends who love you, and people respect you. That’s something they’ll never have.
“But I’m glad you did. I’m glad you hired me. Otherwise I would have never met you. I would have never known what it could be like.
“I…” He swallowed thickly. He’d never been so terrified in all his life. But he wasn’t sure what scared him more; that he might be rejected or the thought of success. **It’s now or never.** “I love you.”
***
Sango had been quiet throughout Miroku’s entire speech; a speech that had been intended as an explanation but only served to raise more questions.
He was rambling on without stopping for breath. Nothing he was saying seemed to make much sense. And what did he mean he wasn’t sorry it happened? *She* certainly was.
…Wasn’t she?
*I love you.*
And just like that, her entire world crumbled, the sounds of his final confession echoing in her ears.
***
Silence was his worst enemy at this point. Sango had been silent the entire time he’d been talking. Silent and still. Not a hair on her head had shifted position, not a rise of her shoulders, nor a shifting of feet.
The thought did cross his mind that she might not have heard him. But then her shoulders started to shake. He rushed forward when she fell to her knees and covered her face in her hands. He knelt next to her, afraid to touch her and desperately wanting to.
“Sango?” He heard her gasp. She was crying… “Sango.”
“Don’t’ say that,” she whispered. She lifted her face and angry tears ran down her face. “Don’t say things like that.” She wiped furiously at her eyes.
“Why not?” He hesitated, debating if he really wanted to take the risk of touching her. He flexed his fingers before laying his hand gently on her cheek and forcing her to look at him. “Why shouldn’t I say things like that? They’re all true. You are what I’ve been searching for, Sango. Every time I took a new job, every time I looked at their faces…It was you I was looking for. And after searching for so long I’m not about to give you up without a fight.”
She stared at a spot on the floor. “Prove it.”
“What?”
“Prove it.”
He sighed. “Tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”
***
AN: …I hate this chapter.
I know this seems to leave a lot unanswered. I’m sorry for that too.
The title for this chapter comes from a song by The Spill Canvas, off of their CD “One Fell Swoop”. If you’ve never heard of them, check ‘em out. They have a MySpace page and you can listen to a couple of their songs.
All hail TSC!
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything.
Chapter 17: Staplegunned
Kagome leapt out of her chair and dashed to the elevator as soon as she saw Sango. **Just a little more time,** she prayed. “Hey, Sango!” she said cheerfully, blocking the woman from entering further.
Poor Sango looked like they’d really put her through the ringer in court. She had a stack of papers under each arm and her briefcase was so full it could have had its own zip code. Her glasses sat haphazardly atop her head and her hair was being held up by a pencil and a couple of paperclips. She smiled wearily at Kagome as the younger woman grabbed one of the stacks of papers from under her arm to ease her burden. There were smudges under both her eyes, a sign of the emotional dam that had been broken a few nights before while she and Kagome dined on sugar and Blockbuster.
“Thanks, Kags.” Sango tried to step around to head to her office but found herself being blocked as Kagome hopped in front of her. She raised one delicate eyebrow at her friend before trying moving to the other side. Kagome promptly blocked her way again. Sango sighed and wished she had a free hand to rub her tired eyes. “Kagome, what are you doing?”
“I, uh…thought we could go across the street and get a cup of coffee! You know, just sit down and, uh, enjoy the day?”
She smiled, wary at her friends strange behavior. “Sure. Just let me put these papers in my office.” She tried once more to move down the hall, and once more Kagome blocked the way. Sighing in irritation, Sango pushed passed her and trudged down the hall, frowning slightly at the strange looks and sly smiles she received.
“Why don’t you let me put these away while you go wait by the elevator? Or you could just lay these on my desk! You can put them away once we get back! It’ll only take 15 minutes or so!”
“Yeah, and it will only take me about a second and a half to put them on…my…desk….”
Carelessly dropping her burden by the door, Sango took a slow turn around the room, staring in awe at the dozens of roses sitting atop her desk, on the windowsills, and resting in chairs, touching their delicate petals as if they were made of glass. “What…”
She noticed it then, a small white piece of paper tied with a white ribbon to the stem of each flower. Turning it over, she stared at the hand-written words.
‘The way your eyes sparkle when you smile,’ it read. She turned over another. And another.
‘The way you fidget when you’re nervous.’
‘The sound of your sigh just before you fall asleep.’
‘The perfect fit of your head against my shoulder.’
“What…where did all these come from?” She turned to Kagome, her eyes shining.
Kagome stood in the doorway clutching the stack of papers she held to her chest, looking with sorrow filled eyes at her friend’s lost expression. “They’ve been delivering them all morning a dozen at a time. The first was brought in at nine o’clock, but you’d already left for court by then. It’s been every half hour after that. Sixteen dozen in all. 192 roses. Each one with one of those little notes attached.” She took a cautious step into the room, careful to make as little noise as possible. “Sango….”
“He sent these, didn’t he?” she whispered. “Miroku…sent these to me.”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“But why…?”
“It seemed like a good way to get your attention.”
She froze instantly in the middle of her exploration of one of the soft petals afraid to turn around. Her mind fought with itself. One part began to beg, **Please. Please just go away. Not here. Not like this,** while another part, somewhat quieter in its admissions, but somehow stronger in conviction, said simply, **Stay.**
Kagome looked back and forth between Sango and the man who’d caused her so much pain. Sango looked like she was about to cave-in on herself, she seemed so desperate to flee. Miroku looked as immaculate as ever, even dressed in a pair of dark jeans and blue t-shirt. But she noticed the dark smudges under his eyes and his cheeks looked slightly hollowed, the way people look after a particularly crazy weekend bender. His shoulders hunched and head slightly bowed, he looked the picture of submission and caution, taking a careful step into the room as though he were afraid to make any noise or threatening movements.
It was quite for several moments and Kagome could feel the tension thicken in response. She began to shift the papers in he arms uncomfortably in anticipation. She finally decided that she was indeed not going to be able to listen in on this particular conversation while in the room.
“Um…I think I hear the phone ringing. I’d better go answer that. It’s probably important.” She set her burden down on the nearest chair and hurried out, giving Miroku a warning glance as she shut the door behind her.
They were alone and without distraction now, which seemed to make the tension greater.
**I will not say anything,** Sango assured herself. **I will not say a word. I’ll just let him get whatever it is off his chest and then he’ll leave. He’ll leave and then…there will be no reason to come back.** Tears started forming at the thought but she forced them back.
***
Gods, how he wanted to touch her.
He watched her stand perfectly still, and totally closed off to him, as minutes ticked by. She hated him, and he couldn’t blame her. He hated himself for how it had turned out. But, damnit, he was *not* sorry it happened.
He and Inuyasha had stayed up most of the night planning out what Miroku was going to say when he finally got to see Sango. Since Inuyasha, good friend that he was, wasn’t exactly the most eloquent when it came to making apologies, planning consisted mostly of Miroku pacing his apartment trying out what to say while Inuyasha smoked his cigarettes. Might as well. Miroku wasn’t really a smoker anyway and didn’t even remember buying them. Good to know someone was getting some use out of them.
But now, as he stood in her office watching her act like a dear caught in headlights, everything he’d memorized was suddenly erased from his memory. A moment of panic set in as he tried to think of something, *anything*, to break the silence.
He remembered the envelope in his back pocket and the panic receded as he pulled it out and looked at it. Carefully he came up behind Sango and placed in on the desk beside her hand.
“It’s all there,” he said stepping back. “Seven thousand dollars cash. I meant to give it to you the other night at the hotel.”
Sango swallowed thickly, the lump in her throat making it hard to do so. She clenched her fists, crushing one of the flowers as she tried to keep her emotions under control. “Is that all?” she whispered.
He was quiet for a while as he watched her. He breathed deeply, fortifying himself for what was to come next. This would be the hardest confession he had ever made. One thing was for sure; he had never been so determined, and so unsure of the outcome, in all his life. **I’ll understand if you still hate me when this is over, Sango. But I can’t leave it like this between us. Not with you. I’ve never cared what any woman thought of me before. I can’t leave with you thinking so low of me.**
“No. That’s not all.” He chose his words carefully. “I didn’t use you, Sango. I know you think I did, but I didn’t. I’ve never met anyone like you. You’re strong, stronger than any other woman. You’re smart and beautiful and you have a wonderful sense of humor that most people don’t get to see.” He swallowed. **Oh, boy. Here we go.**
“Inuyasha put the condoms in my pocket. I didn’t even know they were there until I was about to leave. I didn’t plan for any of that to happen, Sango, and I know you probably don’t believe a word I’m saying but I had every intention of leaving you untouched.
“But I’m not going to apologize for any of it either. I’m not sorry it happened.
“You’re not like the others, Sango. You’re not shallow like they are. I’ll never understand why you felt you needed to hire me in the first place because you’re better than that. You don’t need their approval. Look at yourself! You’re an ADA, you’re got friends who love you, and people respect you. That’s something they’ll never have.
“But I’m glad you did. I’m glad you hired me. Otherwise I would have never met you. I would have never known what it could be like.
“I…” He swallowed thickly. He’d never been so terrified in all his life. But he wasn’t sure what scared him more; that he might be rejected or the thought of success. **It’s now or never.** “I love you.”
***
Sango had been quiet throughout Miroku’s entire speech; a speech that had been intended as an explanation but only served to raise more questions.
He was rambling on without stopping for breath. Nothing he was saying seemed to make much sense. And what did he mean he wasn’t sorry it happened? *She* certainly was.
…Wasn’t she?
*I love you.*
And just like that, her entire world crumbled, the sounds of his final confession echoing in her ears.
***
Silence was his worst enemy at this point. Sango had been silent the entire time he’d been talking. Silent and still. Not a hair on her head had shifted position, not a rise of her shoulders, nor a shifting of feet.
The thought did cross his mind that she might not have heard him. But then her shoulders started to shake. He rushed forward when she fell to her knees and covered her face in her hands. He knelt next to her, afraid to touch her and desperately wanting to.
“Sango?” He heard her gasp. She was crying… “Sango.”
“Don’t’ say that,” she whispered. She lifted her face and angry tears ran down her face. “Don’t say things like that.” She wiped furiously at her eyes.
“Why not?” He hesitated, debating if he really wanted to take the risk of touching her. He flexed his fingers before laying his hand gently on her cheek and forcing her to look at him. “Why shouldn’t I say things like that? They’re all true. You are what I’ve been searching for, Sango. Every time I took a new job, every time I looked at their faces…It was you I was looking for. And after searching for so long I’m not about to give you up without a fight.”
She stared at a spot on the floor. “Prove it.”
“What?”
“Prove it.”
He sighed. “Tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”
***
AN: …I hate this chapter.