Into The Darkness

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own anything, don't make money off of this. I might have gone crazy, but at least I know that this disclaimer is true... sigh

Into The Darkness

By Miztikal-Dragon

Chapter Fifteen:


This time around it was Rin who had kept herself under house arrest, the recent events haunting her mercilessly while she was both awake and fast asleep. The few extra pounds Kagome had managed help her gain had disappeared along with countless other pounds and the other woman had been giving her worried looks. Rin knew it wasn’t healthy to drop as much weight as she had recently; however, she couldn’t stop it either. Since Kagura’s jump, Rin had been spending more and more time looking over her shoulder, staying away from any shadows, no matter how light and paranoia was beginning to get the best of her.


Sesshomaru hadn’t been helping with the escalating levels of stress. In fact, he had been unknowingly adding to it as he became more suspicious, more curious about the mood of his house and Rin felt like she was walking a breaking tightrope. It would not be long until he was demanding things from her, things that she couldn’t give him and when it all came crashing down there would be nothing left but broken pieces of her soul. She wasn’t ready to give him up yet, she was too selfish, but she could feel the day quickly approaching.


There also was the impending date of delivery of her unborn child. She wanted to tell him, desperately wanted him to know what they had created together, and yet she was more afraid of what his response would be once ‘shit hit the fan’ as InuYasha liked to quote. She did not want Sesshomaru to feel obligated because she was pregnant, did not want to make him feel as though she had purposely trapped him and though she was unable to gauge his response, she prayed she’d make it out alive.


“Rin, I’m worried about you,” Kagome’s voice startled her and Rin placed the fork she had been pretending to use onto the table. “I haven’t seen you eat a full meal in weeks and it’s not good for you.”


“Sorry,” she said dropping her eyes to the plate of what had been cake and was now nothing but lumps of crumbs in front of her. “I can’t help it, I haven’t really been hungry lately.”


“I know the feeling, but--” The woman in front of her was cut off by the chiming of the door bell and Rin scrambled off the stool she’d been sitting on and called out that she was getting it. To her it felt like an ill planned escape, obviousness was sure not to be lost to Kagome, but it had sounded like a ‘get out of jail-free’ card to her and she was taking it.


She padded quickly to the door and heaved it open and immediately wished that she hadn’t. Dead black eyes stared at her from the visitor, emptiness that for so long she had recognized as normal and she couldn’t hold back the gasp that slipped from her open mouth. Shoulder length black hair was disheveled and tangled, pale skin appearing ghostlike and sickly and Rin’s heart thudded in her chest as his long fingers reached out to her almost awkwardly. It was Koga, Naraku’s unknowing servant and she felt her world tilt on its axis as he stepped closer, inching to come over the threshold.


“Rin who is it?” Kagome’s voice rang out and if she could have screamed, Rin would have.


Her vision blurred as Koga closed the distance between them, trapping her, containing her within herself and she knew that it was Naraku telling her that her time had run out. Gray emptiness was beginning to steal her mind away and she could feel her fingers loosening their hold on the large wooden door without permission. She wouldn’t be able to fight against him, not then and she was being led to the flames like a moth.


“Rin,” it was Sesshomaru’s voice that had ripped her from Narkau’s strengthening grasp like a dousing of ice cold water and she felt herself reacting.


Her entire body shuddered as she whirled away from Koga’s reaching grasp, her fingers digging into the wooden door as she flung it shut, the smack of the door colliding with its frame echoing throughout the expansive house. Her eyes were wide with horror, her heart practically clawing it’s way up her throat and she pressed her back against the door as a last attempt to keep the evil outside from coming within.


“Rin?” Sesshomaru’s eyes caught hers and though she was still as the grave on the outside, inside she was screaming at him to go away, to be ignorant for just a while longer until she could figure out a way around this horrible mess. “Who was it?”


She felt her head shake side to side before she could stop herself. This wasn’t supposed to be happening, not now and there was nowhere to hide. Sesshomaru’s eyebrow raised curiously as the doorbell behind her chimed a second time and a moment later, he had somehow ushered Rin from her place and pulled the door open yet again. She could tell by his expression he had been a little agitated, but for a brief glance his face held shock at the person in front of him.


“Sesshomaru…” The voice was Koga’s; however, at the same time it wasn’t. The wolf was a puppet after all, and Naraku held all the strings. “Long time no see.”


“What brings you here wolf.” It should have been phrased as a question, yet it sounded more to her as a demand. He must have known that there was something off in his voice, something inhuman (even for a demon).


“I’ve come to collect what does not belong to you,” Koga’s voice grew coy, and Rin’s blood froze in her veins. “Come to collect my masters ward.”


“Nothing here belongs to ‘your master’,” sarcasm was not lost to Sesshomaru.


“Rin,” those boney long fingers of Koga were at it again with the pointing and Sesshomaru’s gaze followed them. He stared at her confused for a moment and then all hell decided to break loose.


*****


She could feel the shadows creeping up on her, tugging at the hems of her skirt, pulling at her trying to take her again and she couldn’t help but known now that it was hopeless to fight. Her world was crashing down around her, the tumbling pieces smashing into her and taking away anything that might have been salvageable. Everything had been a lie. She realized that now, yet it didn’t seem real to her. Kohaku was dead and had been since---well, since the beginning and she’d been tricked by Naraku to believing that he had been the only way to save him.


Rin had become a prisoner to Naraku because he wanted her, because her parents had sacrificed her in order to keep their love alive. She could understand their reasoning truth be told, hadn’t she done almost the same thing? Hadn’t she given up her freedom, her sanity, her life, for the man she loved? The only difference was that she would never have sacrificed something she knew she couldn’t give away. No child deserved to bare the weight of their parent’s love.


Of course she didn’t hate her parents, how could she? They were her mother and father, they gave her everything the could have and she knew they loved her. They loved her because if they hadn’t there would have been no secrets and definitely no lies about her place in life. They had wanted so much for her, but condemned her to a life of misery without ever realizing it. She guessed either way the cards were dealt she would have ended up with Naraku. It was fate. It was the deal and though she had not been dealt in, she’d already lost the hand.


Her eyes drifted to her clenched hands, refusing to glance up at the scene playing out in front of her. She didn’t want to know that she was losing her last chance at freedom, didn’t want to be a witness to the hint of misery she knew was speeding at her like a runaway locomotive.


She wanted to scream and defend herself; however, the way Sesshomaru’s amber eyes stared at her, hatred and disgust choking her, she didn’t. It was the truth being spilled from Koga, one of Naraku’s longest-living will-less puppets, and though she knew the wolf no longer had a mind of his own, no lies were leaving his mouth. He was condemning her and she had condemned herself as well by continuing to breathe.


There was blood on her hands, gallons of it and she bit down on her lip wishing she could burn off the invisible stains Naraku had bathed her in. All the memories of cold nights, dark alleyways and rivers of blood; they were memories of murders committed and though she could see them when she closed her eyes, they were not her crimes. They had all seemed so real, so real that she believe it had been her, yet they weren’t. It was just another way Naraku found pleasure in torturing her and she had let him do it not knowing the repercussions.


Wrapping her arms around her sides, she pushed back her tears thinking about the small bulge hidden underneath the light sweater she wore. So far she had been able to keep her little secret from Sesshomaru, but it didn’t stop the heartbreak knowing that after today her secret would be known and she wouldn’t be able to keep it safe anymore.


The past seemed to love reliving itself and not ignoring that her first pregnancy had come to a complete shock to her, she knew it would undoubtedly end the same. Naraku had laughed at her that day in the cemetery, his black eyes trying to consume her and she’d tried her hardest to fight against him. She fought him because it was the only way she knew how to preserve herself and when taunted her with her reality, she felt her heart splitting in her chest. He had never cared before if he emotionally dragged her through the gravel before, why start now?


‘Give him back to me!’ The nightmares had been real, the pain, her screams and the sudden emptiness that followed her as her hands reached out for something she believed was only an illusion forced fed to her by Naraku. ‘Please don’t take him from me! Give him back--NO!’


Naraku took something away from her that was precious and he stole it without her even knowing. He hid away the proof of Kohaku’s and her love, horded it away for his own malicious purpose. She would never be able to her son, love him the way a mother should because he was too far gone. The half demon monster had stolen everything from Rin and he was throwing salt in her garden, making sure nothing would ever think to grow there again.


‘Sin,’ she mused to herself sadly, inhaling deeply and tuning out the one sided conversation going on around her. She needed not to listen since her protests in the end made no difference. She already saw the hatred from Sesshomaru’s eyes and that was the end of her.


‘Sin,’ Rin thought the name again and it was beautiful, but disgusting. Naraku had name her son Sin, like he was something evil and the half demon had made him that way. Rin had seen it in the almost lifeless deep brown eyes f the boy, he didn’t know what love was, what parents were or what happiness could entail. All he knew was Naraku and that had been enough. Sin was raised by the darkness Naraku loved so much and he destroyed, killed and even if Sin was human, Rin knew that his soul was no longer.


“Rin,” a voice pulled her from her thoughts startling her and immediately her eyes met Sesshomaru’s icy glare. “Come Rin.”


Koga rose to his feet, his dull eyes watching her, towering over her with Naraku’s puppet strings. She didn’t want to go, didn’t want to leave Sesshomaru on these terms despite knowing the choice was not hers to make. She couldn’t stay, not after he knew the truth. She belonged to Naraku, a blight of trash in his eyes and he despised her. It made her want to tell Sesshomaru that she loved him for real, that it was different and there was a tiny person inside her that she made with him (accidentally yes, but it wasn’t done to hurt him.).


“I--” her words died in her throat. She didn’t want Naraku to get his claws onto her baby. She needed protection and no one was willing to offer it to her. “Please Sessho--”


“Don’t,” his voice was cold and uncaring and her heart was drowning in her stomach. “I should have killed you before you had the chance to fool me.”


His words were like daggers to her. They hurt and if her heart had not been breaking before, it definitely was now. He wished for her death, and if Rin could have granted his wish, she would have. She deserved to die for her mistakes, to be forever silenced and if she hadn’t been in her current state, she would have tried ending it herself to save her from the misery of living.


“I agree,” that was nonsense, she told herself allowing the numbness to surface. If she could not protect another one of her children from falling into Naraku’s hands, then maybe it should die as well. Death after all would be the easiest escape from the pain and suffering brought by Naraku. It was only fair. “I deserve to die.”


Something flickered in Sesshomaru’s eyes for a half a second, but she refused to reach out for hope. If Naraku wanted her so badly that was fine. However, there was no way in hell she was going to hand over another child to him without a fight. She climbed to her feet, several pairs of eyes watching her every move. She would protect what was hers, even if it meant destroying it to keep it safe.


The kitchen wasn’t far, yet hidden from curious eyes. Maybe they knew what she was up to, maybe they wanted her to die the way Sesshomaru made it clear. If not, well then that was okay as well because she was just too tired of continuing on by this point. If she could save her baby by dying then that’s exactly what she was going to do. She had to protect herself by protecting it and this time she wasn’t about to let Naraku win. She reached for the counter where the cutlery was, fingering the handles to the knives before choosing one she knew would serve her purpose. There would be pain, she told herself, earth shattering pain by the looks of it, but if she did it right she could ‘live’ with the pain until it left her.


Pressing the tip of the blade against her slightly rounded stomach, Rin inhaled deeply. She could feel the baby moving inside her as if sensing danger and it made Rin want to cry harder as silent tears slipped down her cheeks. She was going to become a murderer---worse, she was going to murder her own unborn child for selfish reasons and it left her feeling dirty. She was going to be just as cruel as Naraku, killing the innocent; though, she tried not to think of it as such. Rin was so concentrated on her mental anguish that she hadn’t heard Sesshomaru call out to her, nor did she notice that all of them were watching her with baited breath until a large, strong hand wrapped around her wrist and jerked the even larger knife from her grasp.


Sharp pain shot throughout her arm and she flinched gazing at them with wide eyes. They didn’t understand that she had to do this, it was in the best interest of her unborn child and herself. A life spent serving Naraku wan’t a life and not one she was willing to let another child of hers experience. Koga was furious with her, his dull blue eyes rimmed with ruby red, there would undoubtedly be a punishment waiting for her from her display of guilt. Naraku was always wacthing, always planning and her secret was no longer safe. She was doomed.


“You don’t understand,” she whispered, her eyes focused on Sesshomaru’s expensive shoes. She desperately wanted him to listen to her and believer her even if she knew he wouldn’t. Sesshomaru was a cold creature, a solitary creature, and it was obvious now that he’d rather rip her to shreds than listen to a word she had to say.


Then she felt it, thick emptiness like a slowly creeping fog on a cold January morning, stealing away the very air from her lungs. Her muscles tensed and she stood still as strands of silver blew in her direction from the windless room. No one seemed to notice the small child like girl who walked into the kitchen with them, an intricate medium-sized mirror held lightly in front of her. This small girl with hair of silver that rivaled in beauty to Sesshomaru’s, her eyes pure untainted black and just as empty was coming for her like an angel of death and Rin choked back a scream.


She remembered seeing this nothing child before, she floated like a ghost in and out of Rin’s memories and dreams, tormenting her in a way that was almost akin to a ripple in a pond. Naraku was fetching her Rin realized. He was going to steal away her will and unless she could get away she would be lost. Desperately, Rin struggled to break free from Koga’s vice grip, her elbow jamming into his adam’s apple, her free hand curling into a tight fist and slugging the wolf, sprays of blood dancing across her white spaghetti strap shirt and sweater as his nose broke. He stood there like dead weight, his eyes boring holes into her, keeping her pinned in place and Rin felt the walls closing in on her.


“No!” She screamed loudly as Koga’s other hand wrapped around her free wrist, trapping her against him as the nothing child stepped in front of her. NO one was helping her, they were all watching her suffering, they were letting her die. “Don’t let him take my baby!”


Her own voice rang in her ears and after it died away she could feel the strength of her body betray her, leaving her limp and numb. The mirror coaxed her eyes from her blank stare at Miroku and InuYasha, the light hurting her and she swore she could feel her stomach burning. Her eyes were glued to her reflection and she felt him invading her mind, stealing away everything that Sesshomaru had unknowingly set free. She was drifting, floating and though she knew it wasn’t real, she couldn’t fight against the invisible hands dragging her back into the darkness she’d been accustomed to for so long.


E/N: This was bound to happen. I did plan it out after all... I only plan a few more chapters left for this. Not sure exactly how I'm going to end it, but my friend Rochelle and I have thoughts.