What am I?

A/N - short and straight to the point. Ya’ll knew this was coming… If you didn’t, well… I’m sorry I didn’t do enough foreshadowing. (I am a math major, what‘s foreshadowing?)

“Pure mathematics is, in its way, the poetry of logical ideas.” ~Albert Einstein

***
Time had passed too quickly for Kagome. No sign of anything from Naraku, Kouga had not been seen. Naraku's stench was all over the mountainous areas, then shouldn't Kouga have been out looking too? They were in his territory, and there had been no sign of any wolves at all. Which, considering Kagome's presence within his claimed land, was pretty strange in of itself. Part of her was worried, but the other part was grateful she didn't have to deal with him sniffing around quite yet.

Kagome stuffed her recently washed and dried clothes into her bag, once again her fingers coming upon a long, slender wrapper. Glancing around to make sure nobody had come for her, she lifted the crinkling object level with her eyes. Kagome made a face, she hated the damned thing. What it would signify was something that was forced to the forefront of her mind every time she picked it up.

She never kept track of her cycle before. With all the surprises, adrenaline rushes, and all out strenuous physical activity, her period had always been irregular. Was right now the best time to take the test? Would someone find out what she was up to? Kagome didn’t want to waste the only pregnancy test she had if it was too early. She now knew that if she took too soon, it would give her a negative response even if she was pregnant.

Kagome felt the tears coming and squeezed her eyes shut to try to prevent them from falling. She just didn’t want to take it. She could take the test, she knew that she could take it. If she was… how would she be able to tell anyone? Wouldn’t this just bring back all the feelings and thoughts back that they were trying to forget?

Kagome was still torn; torn between feeling loyal to Inuyasha and wanting Miroku. How could things change so fast? She did want to stay with Inuyasha, but now that she’d had a taste of what could be with Miroku… Things just weren’t so simple anymore. It was never so black-and-white, but even now the gray areas were leaping exponentially. The weighted feeling of Kikyou’s promise, Sango’s feelings, Kagome’s guilt, and just everything threatened to topple Kagome’s emotions into a big heap on top of her. To suffocate her.

Throwing the test back into her bag and zipping it shut, Kagome picked it up quickly and swung it around to her back. It jostled heavily against her as she strode into camp.

“Everything clean Kagome?” Sango asked and Kagome took an appraising look towards her friend, trying to feel the sincerity of her words. Kagome felt no animosity in Sango‘s words, and had yet to for the past week. She was looking for something that just wasn’t there.

“Yeah, though I’ll need to go back soon.” She sighed in response, “It’s just not the same as washing it in my time.” Kagome set her yellow backpack on the ground with a grunt. Why did she keep that thing? It was so ugly, huge, and… well… yellow.

Next time she would get something that was blue, red, or maybe even camouflage. That would certainly blend in better.

“You just came back.” Inuyasha spoke up unfailingly every time at the idea of her going home.

“Yeah, two weeks ago!” Kagome shot back quickly, irritated that he thought 2 weeks wasn’t a very long time.

“I don’t see the issue!” Inuyasha said, sounding exasperated himself.

“You never see the issue! It’s been two weeks and I’d like to go home for supplies.” And to take the pregnancy test… She just couldn’t take it here, around them… What if she was? How could she just walk back into camp? She couldn’t. She had to go home, and if she had to enlist support, she would. She just couldn’t do it now, the time wasn’t right.

“Shippou, come help me fill the bottles.” Kagome asked, changing the subject quickly.

“You were just there!” Inuyasha ranted some more, though he did bring up a very good point.

“Yes I was.” Kagome just simply agreed with his statement and walked away with Shippou in tow.

“Just let her go.” Kagome heard Miroku say to Inyasha and heard Sango agree.

“Why didn’t you fill the water bottles Kagome?” Shippou asked quietly in her ear as they moved out of hearing range.

“I have to ask you for a favor Shippou.” Kagome said after a moment of silence, suddenly feeling very guilty about using him.

“Who do you want me to distract?” Shippou was very quick, and even though Kagome shouldn‘t have been surprised, she was.

“I need to talk to Miroku alone.” Her lowered voice seemed really loud against the backdrop of the forest noises.

“I’ll do it!” Shippou exclaimed none-to-quietly, “Though give me a few minutes, and then come. It’ll be much easier without you there.”

Kagome wondered how smart Shippou really could be as he scampered back to the group. She waited for what she felt like was an hour but in actuality was an impatient three minutes before she started back.

Indeed Miroku was alone.

“Somehow, as soon as you left, Shippou came bounding back in insisting that he needed the assistance of both Sango and Inuyasha to hunt a single rabbit for you that he wanted to surprise you with. ”

Instantly Kagome was nervous as she sat across from him, “I needed to talk to you.”

“And you used Shippou?” Miroku did not look up.

“Yes.” Kagome’s head dropped more in shame. Miroku didn’t seem to be happy.

“Please, do go on, by leaving us here alone, you have set suspicions back upon us.” Miroku said through thin lips, “Now would not be a good time for that, secrets are only hurting us.”

“This is something that I couldn’t bring up in front of everyone, and I don’t really want to tell anyone, but you’re the only one…” Kagome once again fought back tears, “I have to go back home Miroku.”

“This isn’t a matter of clean clothes is it?”

Kagome took a deep breath and forced the words to rush out of her mouth before she could change her mind, “I have a pregnancy test and I want to take it at home.”

Miroku was silent for a few seconds as he digested her statement, “You have a pregnancy test from your time?”

Kagome nodded.

“And it works?”

“Yes.”

“How long does it take.”

“A couple of minutes if I do it right.” Kagome whispered, not liking where this was going.

Miroku looked in her eyes, his own very bright, “You have it now?”

“Yes, but I need to go home for this Miroku.” Kagome knew what he wanted, and it didn‘t mesh with her plans very much.

“Is there something there that is needed for you to take this test?”

“Yes.” Kagome said steely, then ruined it by saying, “My mother is there.” Yuka was there for her too. As much as she wanted to say Sango or Inuyasha was there for her, she couldn’t. Too much more was at stake for them as well. At least that’s what Kagome thought.

“Can you get results here?”

“Miroku, you don’t understand, I need to be there. What if I am? How could I face Inuyasha and Sango here?” Kagome pleaded with him.

“Can you get results here?” Miroku’s voice was hard, stressed, pressuring. Had he been worrying about this more than she was?

“Yes, but-”

“Take it Kagome.”

Her head shot up and fear crept into her heart, “I-I can’t!”

Miroku’s eyes softened and his voice lowered into a softer tone, “Please, take it right now Kagome. I have to know. If you can find out now… You don‘t understand, I have to know.” She saw his eyes glance to his covered hand.

Then it was clear. How could she go home and leave him to wonder while she would know? If the roles were reversed, Kagome knew she would go crazy with uncertainty.

That didn’t make her any less scared. This was the most apprehension she’d felt… ever.

“A-alright.” Kagome struggled to get up, her head clouded with fear. “I’ll be right back.”

“You can’t take it here?”

Embarrassment cut through the fog and Kagome blushed, “Um, no, but I’ll come right back… I promise.”

Kagome tried to walk steadily from the campsite after she grabbed that god-forsaken object from her pack. She walked farther than she probably needed to, but she didn’t care.

Following the instructions, she did what she had to do then placed the cap back on it when she was finished. She started walking back while keeping the test level as it said to do, and her results would only take a minute. She didn’t look down at it.

She walked unevenly into the campsite, relieved that Inuyasha and Sango were still gone.

“Here.” She shoved the object in his hand.

“What-?” He shot her a confused look.

“I can’t look,” Her heart pounded as she saw him look at the test, “If one window has a pink line and the other doesn’t, I’m not pregnant.”

He was silent for a second and his face grew paler. “What if it has a pink line in each window?”

Then Kagome knew, she fell to her knees in front of him as her legs gave out. “D-do both windows have pink lines?”

“Yes.” Though his voice was steady, his face was paler than she had ever seen it, his eyes wide and his breathing irregular. He knew, Kagome knew he wasn’t stupid.

“Then I’m-… I’m pregnant.” She whispered, and to her surprise, the words didn’t cause the world to come crashing down on her. She still heard birds chirping in the background, along with Miroku’s erratic breathing. What was he thinking?

She didn’t dare look at him.

***

Dun dun dun… I did this instead of my calculus homework. Yay! Though I’m really not gonna like it when I have to turn stuff in.

I wanted Plot to do something, but it didn’t. I need to go spank Plot now. Maybe he’ll behave for me like a good little boy next chapter.

REVIEW - it does a body good.