A Blind Heart

Chapter 16 ~

I’ve become so Numb

This Sesshoumaru should have expected the last guest. After all it had been a day of revelations. But this Sesshoumaru was busy comforting my Miko who for the most part had been overwhelmed. So here this Sesshoumaru was sitting on some pillows with my Koibito in my lap. I had been growling lowly and rocking her in an attempt to comfort her. Sen had finished his speech, bowed and went with Midoriko to stand by Kimi. When in strode the late Great Inu-Taisho Lord of the Western Lands, Elder of the High Council, or father for short. I had trained for so long, holding him up as the standard for perfection. There was a rebellious time in my life when I thought that his love for humans was a weakness instead of strength. Then the anger came for his dying so young and leaving me the Lord of the Western Lands. I had to fight fang and claw to show other Youkai’s that I would not be defeated and to look elsewhere in their quest for land and power. Indeed the first three decades of InuYasha’s life was spent protecting him and defending the West.

It seems a young Lord is an open invitation for other Lords to descend upon like vultures to a kill. What they could not know was a Taisho had held this castle since it was built, and until time or the Kami’s above destroyed it, a Taisho would hold it. By the time otousan died I had trained with many senseis on different fighting techniques. Otousan taught me my skill with a sword. There was a decade or two spent wandering around. I trained with Youkai’s in China, and parts of Europe. Gaining knowledge, keeping the best and discarding the rest of the information so freely given. Thus by a young age I was nobody’s carrion. I decided I would fear no one. Instead it would be my name Sesshoumaru that would instill fear in the hearts of many.

While some trained to gain more power or lands I trained to surpass my father. I never needed the Shikon-Tama or any other such bauble. I relied only upon myself. Even when I lost an arm to my brother due to my fascination with Kagome I did not seek a way to repair it. Even without it I did the name of perfect killing machine proud. I often wondered if my otousan was looking down on me and what he thought. Guess I’ll have the chance to ask him now. It was strange how that knowledge brought little to no satisfaction to me.

I should have felt joy at seeing my revered father again. As a matter of fact I should have felt something, anything but the vast numbness that was deep inside. Maybe I had used up my emotion quota for the day. Let’s review. I was angry when I fought Kimi’s soldiers, the fact that they bested this Sesshoumaru did not sit well with me. I was puzzled when we awoke in this paradise, after all what was the purpose of our capture. I felt great pity for Midoriko and Sen, life cut short and filled with such great sacrifice. Kagome’s plight had brought a deep sadness to my soul; the world that she knew this morning was not the same. There was a small bit of happiness that Kikyo received her soul back thus returning the piece of Kagome’s that she held onto, my Koibito was complete! I think for a Taiyoukai I had run the emotional gauntlet. As crazy as it sounds I think my father knew something was different with me. His eyes held an amused twinkle. This Sesshoumaru did not like to be entertainment for anyone, especially his sire.

Poor InuYasha wasn’t faring much better. The last time he had seen father was when his spirit communicated with us after we defeated Sorunga. The Evil Sword that now resided in hell. I think Yasha may have spoken if his mouth had cooperated. It seems that it fell on this Sesshoumaru to greet our otousan or more correctly our boufa. “Konichiwa otousan I trust we find you in good health”? Yes I stated it in a dry voice. Were you expecting tears, hugs and sharing? Sorry, wrong Taiyoukai and wrong story. Kagome nudged my shoulder. I ignored her. Next a slap was delivered to my shoulder with a little Miko energy. Although I was immune, it tingled and got my attention. She looked exasperated with me.

“Well aren’t you going to introduce me? Koishii my ass, so tell me Itoshi is it normal for a male not to introduce his intended to his father? Once again Higurashi you have been played for a fool”. I would have laughed at how angry she was, but even this Sesshoumaru knows not to anger his Koibito. Especially; since she has very untrained Miko powers that flare with her emotions.

“Kagome, Gomen ne for not introducing you to my father. This Sesshoumaru has reached his limit for surprises for the day. Otousan, may I introduce my intended? This is the Miko Kagome Higurashi, Keeper and Protector of the Shikon Jewel and the future Lady of the West. Koibito this is my father the Great Inu-Taisho Former Lord of the Western Lands, Elder of the High Council, Mate to Hana and Izayoi. I will also take this opportunity to introduce the other members of our pack. InuYasha you are familiar with. The lady in his lap is his mate the Miko Kikyo Taisho, Former Protector of the Shikon-Tama. The Wolf Lord Koga and his intended Lady Ayame. The Monk Miroku and his intended the Demon Slayer Sango. They are pack and under the protection of the Western Lands”.

I stood and went to her lifting her out of her seat. Only Kagome would dare to put me in my place and be tart with me. Her fierceness was arousing to me. I pulled her into my arms and kissed her. I put everything I had into that kiss. And when my tongue touched hers I suppressed a moan. Her hands dug into my haori. When I lifted my head and looked into her eyes, this Sesshoumaru was pleased to see her eyes unfocused and her breath coming in fast gasp. I gently placed in her in his seat and went back to mine. Smug, yes smug is the best way to describe the feeling and the expression on my face. Schooling my features into a bored expression I proceeded with the conversation with my otousan.

“I assume that your return is not coincidental and that you have advice to dispense regarding our battle with Raidon and Naraku? It is also an educated guess that you will be providing training to the pack. You, Midoriko and Sen will be our Sensei’s teaching each of us a particular skill that we will need. But the question remains what is so important about your teachings that the Kami’s themselves have played with death”?

“Do not think Sesshoumaru that I am actually alive. This Taisho reassures you that if I were to attempt to return to earth that I would end up an earth bound spirit. The Kami’s have not played with death as you so succinctly put it. Rather my soul or essence was given a choice of locations in where it could dwell. I chose to assist Kimi and the other Fates with their mission. I must talk to you and InuYasha later on in private. There is much that was never stated; advice and requests from an old youkai” my father stated mockingly. Good to know that even death cannot change who we fundamentally are.

As I got ready to fire a significant amount of questions at my otousan, Kimi interrupted us. “Now that all the participants have met, we need to discuss your sleeping arrangements, schedules and ultimate purpose for being here. The eight eiyuugouketsu will be known as the Bouga Ametsuchi. Here you will study hyouhou, follow chiiku and perform jisshuu everyday that you are here. There are seven levels of the Kingdom of Heaven. You will spend approximately 50 days in each level perfecting your skills and learning new ones. There will be a test to perform before you are able to rise to the next level. Once your training is completed you will be the finest warriors found in Heaven, in Hell or on Earth. The females will be housed on one level of this domain, with the males on a separate level. These arrangements may change as circumstances do, but for now this is my edict. Now your training will commence tomorrow. Tonight I will tell you the story of Raidon and how he came into existence. I will reinforce that you are your world’s last hope. Should you fail all will be destroyed”.

Everyone at the table sat up straight immediately. InuYasha touched his sword as if it offered him comfort. Koga fidgeted in his seat. I almost sighed at the sight of Kagome nervously plucking at her kimono. Silk wasn’t indestructible. Ayame played with the flower in her hair. Sango reached for the monk’s hand. Perhaps the human contact calmed her. And Kikyo, well she sat there with a carefully blank look on her face. Suddenly the room that looked opulent when entering seemed dim. The white marble floors, teakwood table and stool, and sumptuous fabrics no longer held the same feeling of warmth and appreciation. Indeed even the air, which had been delightfully perfumed with vanilla and lavender suddenly, felt cloying and oppressive. Where everyone had been relaxed in manner, suddenly everything felt stiff and formal. Most of them kept readjusting their body position. This Sesshoumaru never admits to being uncomfortable.

“Raidon was once an angel full with light and hope. One day, from the heavens above he spied a human child. This child held within her the promise of the beauty that she would one day be, and so he came down from the heavens and spoke to her. Being a child she did not realize he was a Tenshi and as such she should not have spoken to him. A friendship was forged. But such things can only end in heartache; she would grow old and die while Raidon would remain forever young. As the child grew into a maiden, the love of a friend changed to that of a lover. Throughout this the Kami’s sat back thinking that this was a passing fascination and that time would deal the lovers a harsh blow”.

“Raidon knowing that his love Miya was aging looked for ways to prolong her life. For the first time, darkness entered his heart as his bitterness over her aging grew. So when a demon came along and offered a bargain to Raidon, a bargain that would let Miya retain her youth he made his deal with the evil and was then possessed by it. You see, prior to this evil was nothing more than a passing thought, an impulse if you will. As the ages passed he grew to covet a physical form. Evil had wanted to be able to experience some of the sensations and feelings that he caused many a Youkai and human to act upon. When Raidon agreed to the bargain evil overtook his body, trapping the small piece of Raidon that still existed within a prison of flesh and blood”.

“Miya was as promised long lived, but her love for Raidon could not triumph over horror at the monster that her lover had become, and so the two lovers parted. Miya tried to kill herself, but to her dismay all her attempts failed. In desperation she prayed to the Kami’s to save her and the Tenshi she loved. When he learned that not only had she turned from his side, and had asked the Kami’s to interfere his rage was terrible to behold. For you see Fate is not without irony, the small piece of his heart that still existed had caused the evil being to become infatuated with Miya. Sounds familiar, ne? But unlike the hanyou Naraku, Raidon did not simply try to kill the object of his affection. Rather his choices lay to waste the earth. If he could not have what he wanted then nothing would exist. A ruler of chaos, and a king of a wasteland he reveled in what he had created”.

“The Kami’s did not choose to kill him; instead sealing him within the earth for what they thought was eternity. But with the creation of the Shikon-Tama, the seal was broken and Raidon awoke from his slumber. He did not have a physical body yet, but he was able to send his spirit seeking minions. His chosen one was always successfully destroyed by a Miko, but not without a price. Each time the Miko was also killed, and so it went until it reached the hanyou Naraku. A human thief named Onigumo who lusted after Kikyo until his rebirth as a demon. This Naraku lived for over 50 years growing stronger and gaining power. His quest to own the Shikon was denied until Kagome was pulled into this time”.

“The past must be corrected to protect the future. Aiko has foreseen three different possibilities. It is the Heaven’s Citizens intent to ensure that the best ending with no loss of life is the actual result. This will mean sacrifice in the here and now. May the Kami’s blessing be upon you all.”

The reactions in the room ran the gamut. There was stunned silence. The ladies had tears in their eyes at the thought of lost love and betrayal. Sango looked angry and sad. Perhaps thoughts of betrayal made her think of her brother. Kikyo looked stunned to hear hers and InuYasha story with other people’s names, did she not see life was a cycle and everything repeated? Ayame looked hard at Koga. Perhaps; inner demons that needed to be laid to rest? My Miko had a look of soft wonderment on her face. Her gaze swung to me and I felt the many chaotic emotions she felt, grieve, sorrow, and disbelief. The men pondered in silence. Such a tragic and epic tale of love did not touch as deeply. But the birth of evil, the destruction of earth, that got our attention. InuYasha gripped his hands so tight blood began to spill. Koga looked arrogant, maybe he thought he had no cause to worry. Otousan looked determined as if he would not fail this task given to him. And I, well I would ensure that we survived all eight of us. Anything less was unacceptable. This Sesshoumaru vows this.

Sachi entered the room and asked that we follow here to the banquet hall. When we arrived there was food of every kind for Youkai and human alike. We sat around a huge table. Otousan managed to sit between InuYasha and me. Midoriko and Sen sat next to Kagome and Kikyo apiece. Sango and Miroku spoke to each other in hush tones. Before we could begin to eat Kagome ask that we please not discuss anything too personal. What she really meant was she didn’t want to think of the disclosure that Midoriko gave hours ago.

I turned to my father and asked him if he could tell me and InuYasha what is was he wanted to tell us. His one eyebrow rose up, but none the less began to speak. “I would like to thank you ichinan for keeping your promise to protect your brother. I would have hoped that there would have been more affection between the two of you, but it does my heart good to know both my sons are alive and have found their mates. Now Sesshoumaru, since InuYasha is a Lord he must be trained in the care and maintenance of the Western Land. Although he will never inherit it, it is his responsibility to assist you”.

“InuYasha, I regret that I did not have any time with you. Know that I am proud of all that you have achieved. Both you and Sesshoumaru have fought Youkai’s that even I could not defeat. It is with great pride that I state that both my sons have surpassed me. I know that Sesshoumaru is not the kindest person, but I will have to take the blame for that. Much of his childhood was spent with me off trying to protect the Western Land. His mother was not happy that she was stuck by herself for long stretches of time with her pup. She loved Sessho and died protecting him from my enemies. I think that on that day all that was tender and loving in my eldest son died.”

“I know those in InuYasha’s pack will argue that Sesshoumaru tried to kill InuYasha on many occasions. But haven’t you wondered how InuYasha was able to best him? Even with one arm a Taiyoukai is stronger than a hanyou. Each successive battle forced InuYasha to push himself further taking his sword skill to the next level. It was that and the belief of Kagome that assisted InuYasha in making the impossible possible.” Taisho looked at everyone as if trying to solve a puzzle. Whatever he saw must have satisfied him for he continued.

“Normally, to take a bond mate there are eight phases that must be done by the couple in question. If you four ladies agree the process may be done from start to finish here. Kami will bless your union. The Tenshi’s of love will mark each couple with a blessing that will be visible to Youkai and human alike. Once joined together, you will be mated for all eternity. Please think about it and let Kimi know.”

I saw the ladies look at each other; some hidden communication seemed to go on. I was furious inside. This Sesshoumaru would mate with my Miko and that was the end of that. Had she not willing taken the first step in the ritual? Had we already not begun other phases of the courtship? Discuss indeed. As far as this Sesshoumaru was concerned it was not if but when.

The meal had drawn to a close and Sachi stood up. “Ladies if you will follow me, I will escort you to your rooms. Lords please follow Taisho-Sama to your rooms. Servants will be available to assist you. They will wake you on the morrow, and escort you to breakfast and then the dojo. Oyasuminasai every one!” Sachi called out merrily.

With that we men filled out on the room following otousan. All the while I was very unhappy with the sleeping arrangements. I wanted Kagome. This Sesshoumaru would admit that he slept better with his itoshi with him. Her scent was like being wrapped in a warm blanket on a bitterly cold day. Also I wanted to speak to her and find out did she still want to be my mate. Or had she let all of the secrets that had been revealed change her feelings towards me? I will admit that this was new and unfamiliar territory for me after all; demoness’ wanted me for land, title and power. Kagome, when she wanted me, needed me in spite of the fact that I was Lord of the West. If I was a poor youkai she would still want me. At least that’s what it was like this morning.

I could only wonder and marvel at the story which we were told. How many lives had this Raidon destroyed? How many Youkai and Ningens suffered for his quest to find immortality for his forbidden love? On the other hand I understood his desperate plight. What would this Sesshoumaru do if there was no Youkai magic to extend Kagome’s life? Would I like Raidon turn to unconventional means to prolong her life? I pondered this, and decided that I could not dishonor her love like that. Even if it meant living one human life time with her and waiting each century for her reincarnation I could not, no I would not bargain with evil thereby tainting our love for each other.

I heard a sigh of happiness and felt the air brighten and fill with perfume that reminded me of Kagome. I didn’t know what that was about. I just knew when we arrived at the rooms I was going to have that talk with my otousan and my gutei. This was not something I looked forward to. But I will have to admit that it was long overdue!

My thoughts swung over to Rin and Shippo amazingly enough. I wondered if Jaken and Ah-Un were taking care of them. If they had somehow come to harm I would kill Jaken and resurrect him over and over again repeating this process until I grew bored. Funny how Kagome and I were parents and not even mates yet, she made a great okaasan. She was tender, loving and beautiful in her maternal devotion. I had no doubt that she would take Rin into her heart. My Koishii had the capacity to love almost everyone. Even a stubborn emotionally repressed Taiyoukai like me.

“Hey Fluffy! You coming or what?!” With that I noticed two things. One, I had stopped walking while pondering the situation. Two, InuYasha must have a death wish. I turned to look at him, and was gratified to see the smirk fall of his face. I strode up to him just in time to watch him gulp and run to join our father. ‘Coward you throw a taunt at me and then retreat. Watch out gutei! I would get my vengeance in the dojo. No never mind that was too predictable. Hmm, revenge is a dish best served cold, ne?’


Japanese Glossary –

Bouga Ametsuchi – Protector of Heaven & Earth (Universe)
Eiyuugouketsu – hero warriors of matchless valor
Hyouhou – Art of War
Chiiku – Intellectual training
Jisshuu – Drills/Training (think martial arts where they practice their stances)
Ichinan – eldest son
Oyasuminasai – Good night
Koibito – beloved
Itoshi - darling
Saiai - dear
Koishii - beloved
Shin`ai – beloved (deep affection)
Anata – dear (husband)
Aisai – beloved wife
Gutei – foolish younger brother
Okaasan – mother
Otousan - father