What the Darkness Brings

PART I: The Consequence of Recovery
Chapter 15: Of No Consequence

---IA---

“Ye should not feel so needlessly guilty.”

Startled, Kagome looked up from the little cup of tea she nursed in her hands, dazed eyes focusing on Kaede. After a second, where the old woman’s words sank into her consciousness, she gave a short, tight laugh. She looked back down to her reflection in her drink, taking in the dark circles under her eyes. “But I do, Kaede. I did this to Miroku, I know I did somehow.”

“Ye don’t know that.”

“Neither do you.”

Four days and Miroku still hadn’t woken up from his coma-like state. His breathing and heart rate were normal per every demon and hanyou in the group, his flesh warm. But Kagome was still worried. There was no telling about brain activity, and he wasn’t getting any fluids or food. If this kept going on, she didn’t know how he’d survive. Or herself for that matter.

Sango was by his side constantly, fussing with the way he lay, with his hair and covers. It was a rare moment that she would move away from him, and when she returned she would look haggard and desperate for an update. The crestfallen look when she found there was no change nearly did Kagome in every time.

It was her fault. It had to be. Sesshou-Maru and Nezumi had been found countless times talking amongst each other. And every time she came near to ask them what was going on, they broke apart and avoided her. It was infuriating to her! Not only didn’t she get to yell at someone, but now there were people (per se) who mattered to her who were avoiding her! She didn’t like to be ignored! And it was even worse since they knew! They knew what she did.

And that Sesshou-Maru didn’t want to tell her meant that she’d done something terrible. Very terrible.

Sighing, Kagome put down her cup of tea and rose from her place around the fire, “I’m going for a walk.”

“Do ye think that wise, Lady Kagome?” Kaede’s voice told her, in a grandmotherly sort of way, not to go.

Kagome didn’t even take a look back as she retrieved a stout branch she was using as a makeshift cane and left the stifling hut. Both Shippou and Nezumi looked up in surprise. Her little kit bound over to her.

“Where are you going Kagome?”

“On a walk.”

Nezumi made to step forward, “Lady Kagome-“

She glared at the little rat, stopping him in his tracks. “The only thing I want to hear from you is what you and Sesshou-Maru have been talking about.”

Nezumi blushed brightly, “But my lady-“

“No.” She turned and stalked off, not giving him a chance to redeem himself. Not that he needed to redeem himself. He was probably just doing what Sesshou-Maru told him to do. She probably had no reason to get angry either. It was just that she was so uptight as it was.

But that didn’t mean she was going to forgive anything or anyone at this point in time.

Only if Miroku woke up and forgave her first.

When she disappeared into the tree line, knowing that she was out of sight of her caretaker and her kitsune, she allowed herself to slump a little. She paused by a tree, leaning against it to relieve some of the pressure on her leg and spine. She sighed in relief, her eyes closing for a moment. She had been depending mostly on herself for the past few days, though Nezumi had protested much, and now she was paying for it. Everything ached, not just her back and leg. But it couldn’t be helped, she always got tense when she was under pressure, and she definitely knew this situation was a very stressful one. After all, anyone would feel this way if they were responsible for their friends possible death.

Earlier, she’d tried to justify to herself and her actions. He would have died anyway, she’d told herself, the Wind Tunnel would have taken him even if she hadn’t tried anything. Now he was alive and breathing, his color and vitals were good and there wasn’t a hole in his palm threatening his life. Those were points in her favor right? She was right for trying.

But what if he was suffering? Sesshou-Maru didn’t know much about the brain. He couldn’t know that much of the brain. It was too complex that future scientists were still trying to figure it out completely. What if there was something wrong with his mind now? What if something was torturing him mentally?

What if he died? Would Sango follow after him? Would it be her fault?

Pursing her lips, Kagome continued on, leaning heavily on her ‘cane.’ Such thoughts weren’t safe for her right now. Her back always was the tensest when under pressure, and the scent of stress was the best way to attract unwanted attention.

She allowed herself to wander, not at all paying attention to where she was going. Reckless? Yes. Did she care? No. She could use some distraction, any distraction from the horrifying thoughts she was having. She’d been angry for the past few days, horribly angry and she’d kept it in. She had no right to such anger, not with what was going on.

Stepping over an exposed branch, she noted to herself how much her life had turned upside down since Naraku had gone and ruined it. He nearly paralyzed her, took away her home, made her want to die, and now his curse on one of her best friends had hit its peak. The menacing bastard was probably coming up with a way to ruin the entire groups life now. Kagome grimaced, he was doing a wonderful job! Then again…

She pushed a lock of hair behind her ear, thinking on their current situation. Through hurting her, Naraku had in advertently caused the rift between Inu-Yasha and Sesshou-Maru to close, no matter how minutely. They no longer were physically at each others throats all the time, and Inu-Yasha was learning self-control! But she also was getting some insight to the inu taiyoukai’s mind, she was starting to see how he thought, why he acted the way he did. True, she still didn’t know much about him, but she now knew him to be more than a blood-thirsty human hating dog demon. He was really just a big fluffy puppy on the inside. And she was a better person for this trial. She saw life differently and she wouldn’t take it for granted anymore. She hoped.

But none of it would matter unless Miroku woke up and was okay.

“It is not well for you to be out on your own in your condition.”

Kagome jumped a good three feet into the air in surprise, her eyes widening at the sudden, familiar voice interrupting her angsty thoughts. She turned around to glare at the taiyoukai, “And? It’s not safe for me to do anything, according to you. All of you in fact.”

An eyebrow rose, “I do not believe I have earned such wrath from you.”

She growled at him, turning to stalk away from him. She really didn’t want to deal with anyone right now, especially him. He was keeping information from her, he knew something detrimental to her sanity. But he was right beside her a second later, looking down at her out of the corner of his eye, assessing her. “Don’t follow me.”

He seemed to hesitate slightly, glancing around the woods, “It is not safe.”

She scoffed, knowing he really didn’t give a damn. He was only in this to get his arm back. “I don’t care.”

“Your pack will when they have this Sesshou-Maru carrying your lifeless body back to them.”

She waved him off, changing direction to try to send him a hint. “They have Miroku to worry about right now.”

He followed without hesitation. “So do not make them worry over you.”

She slowed to a stop, Sesshou-Maru halting just a few feet ahead. As he turned to look at her, her eyes began to burn. She couldn’t help it, it was just too much now. His simple statement became the catalyst, ripping away the restraint she’d had on her emotions, her irrational anger. Rage building higher in her, she couldn’t help herself. She yelled. “SHUT UP! Just shut up! Why do you even care?!”

His head tilted to the side in an irritatingly calm manner, “I do not.”

“Then leave! Leave me alone! I don’t want to see anyone right now! Especially you!”

“This Sesshou-Maru?”

Vaguely she noted her sight was becoming blurry, “Yes you! You who have been keeping secrets from me that are about me!”

He was only a white blur amongst a green background now, “Your involvement with the monks state of unconsciousness.” It wasn’t a question.

“No shit!”

He seemed unfazed by her language, “It was a theory, a guess. This Sesshou-Maru did not want to accuse you of something you may not have done.”

She blinked and suddenly her eyesight returned, “What I did?”

He nodded slowly. “Think of the well, miko.”

She grimaced, “Stop talking in riddles! The well is an inanimate object, Miroku is a living breathing being! They’re different!”

The taiyoukai sighed, and once again began to blur. What was wrong with her eyes? “Not so different in the way I am referring.”

What the hell was wrong with this demon? Was he trying to torture her? “Well then just tell me, since I’m too stupid to figure it out myself!”

“Calm yourself, girl-“

Blindly she threw her cane as hard as she could as him, “NO, damnit! I’m sick of everyone telling me to calm down. Just TELL ME!”

“You nullified his magic.”

She blinked, her eyesight returning again, the taiyoukai looked very agitated with her, the branch she’d thrown at him tight in his hand, splintering. She couldn’t bring herself to care, not with what he said, “I over powered him? I made his holy energy dormant?”

Sesshou-Maru nodded.

“Why would he still be unconscious?” Her voice was annoyingly meek.

“His body is trying to adapt to the removal of something which had been with him since conception.”

“Will it kill him?”

He was silent for a moment, thinking on it, “He is strong and willful, so most likely not.”

She just stared at him for a moment, “Why didn’t you tell me what you thought happened?”

A muscle ticked in his jaw, “As I said, it was a theory. I do not share theories unless I know they are correct.”

She saw red, his logic making no sense to her. “You… you arrogant PRICK! I don’t care if I owe you my life, how could you let me think that I killed him?! Do you know how that feels? To think that you’ve killed one of your friends? And you couldn’t tell me because your pride was on the line?! What the hell is wrong with you?!”

“Priestess-“

She waved him off, “No! I don’t want to hear it! I thought better of you! I thought you at least had some kind of feeling for others. But no, it’s just you isn’t it! I hate you Sesshou-Maru!”

She whirled away and stumbled off, not letting him the chance to respond. She didn’t want to hear it, and he couldn’t kill her just yet. She had her side of their deal to honor before he could tear her into several dozens of different bloody pieces.

But she really couldn’t go that far, not with her back aching so much and her new eye ailment. Her eyes were clouding again, hampering her ability to walk even more. She found herself tripping over exposed roots and rocks. She blinked away the clouds in her eyes, and felt something move down her cheek. Reaching up, Kagome wiped away whatever it was on her flesh. She glanced down to see what it was. Water… no tears. She’d been crying? Stopping in her tracks, Kagome stared down at the liquid on her fingers in shock.

Hysterical sounds suddenly rented through the air around her, and it took her a moment to realize that it was coming from her. She was sobbing, the stress of the past few days finally getting the better of her, her momentary, irrational rage leaving her. Regret and despair ripped through her at the memory of her shortness with Nezumi and Shippou. And her ill-tempered words to Sesshou-Maru. She sank to the ground, violent sobs ripping through body.

She hadn’t meant it. She didn’t hate Sesshou-Maru, she really didn’t think that of him. He was a good demon really, even if he was a bit cold and arrogant. It was wrong of her to say such horrible things to him. He was an honorable creature, and she knew that he needed his reputation. He had so many creatures looking to him for guidance, and others to take him down at the first sight of ‘weakness.’ And, in a round-about sort of way he had told her that he’d not wanted to make her worry needlessly if that wasn’t what happened.

Resting her forehead on upraised knees, Kagome let herself cry, unable to stop herself in the first place. She really was a terrible person. She wouldn’t be able to look at him in the eye unless he forgave her. But knowing him, he probably wouldn’t. She’d just messed up what could have been a good friendship.

A twig cracked some feet away from her, and Kagome started her eyes on the approaching creature immediately. Her body stiffened, before her eyes burned with a vengeance and tears clouded her vision. She hid her face in her hands as Sesshou-Maru sat next to her.

“It is not well for you to be on your own in such a condition.”

And that, oddly enough, only made her cry harder, her hands clenching in her sleeves. Her body shuddered with every breath, every muscle – especially in her back – protesting with the sporadic movements. She tried to breathe properly, to apologize, but her sobbing interrupted her. Instead she found herself against his side, hugging him awkwardly, haltingly crying out: “I don’t hate you… I don’t hate you…”

The taiyoukai made no move to comfort her, to stop her from assaulting his hearing with the annoying sounds. He merely sat beside her, calming waiting out her episode.

Eventually, when her hysterics had slowed down to shuddering breaths, she found herself leaning against him, her face buried in the silks of his sleeve. Embarrassment flooded her, brightened her cheeks, at the very forward act. Yeah, so what he’d seen her naked, she’d never before physically sought comfort from him.

She didn’t have the will or courage to look up at him, or even move. Instead she squeezed her eyes shut, blocking herself from the anger that was sure to come from him. “I’m sorry, Sesshou-Maru.”

She felt him shift slightly and she stiffened, thinking he was edging away from her. Instead, she felt his tail wrap securely about her waist. Some of the tension in her spine left.

“It is of no consequence.”

Startled, Kagome looked up with wide eyes. Gold met blue very calmly, no outward show of anger or annoyance. “What?”

“I have been expecting an outburst for some time now.”

Kagome frowned, straightening from him – his tail following to keep her upright – and stared at him. “How could you have been anticipating this?”

He blinked in his usual slow way, “I have known no demon nor human who could handle the amount of stress and bad fortune as you have without some sort of breakdown. You have held in your hurt and anger for longer than most.” His nose twitched suddenly, “And you are fertile. Females of all species become highly emotional and prone to more uninhibited behaviors during these times.”

The heat in her face intensified and she looked to the ground, speechless.

And relieved, she was sad to say. It had been longer than usual since her last cycle, she’d thought that maybe her fall had damaged something inside her. And this was probably why her back hurt more than usual lately.

Sniffling slightly, she looked back up, “That doesn’t excuse me for yelling at you,” she said softly, “Not only did I falsely accuse you of something you didn’t do, but I said some things that I really didn’t mean.”

Sesshou-Maru looked away, searching the forest before them, “As this Sesshou-Maru has said, it is of no consequence.”

She smiled sadly to herself, “I’m really sorry, nonetheless. Do you forgive me?”

She thought she saw something flicker in his eyes. “Yes.”

“Thank you.”

---IA---

A.N. Omg, Kagome went suicidal there for a moment. Yelling at Sesshou-Maru? I had to get him to stop from killing her: ‘It’s not in the script! You won’t get your Beggin’Strips if you kill her!’ I found myself even typing her death at one point. It was horrible! ... Lol… Sesshou-Maru works for Beggin’Strips…

On ASS: Thank you to Inusbabe: Glad to hear it!
Hikari Hime: Sesshou-Maru’s personality is very hard to maintain, I have to smack him around a bit to make him do what I want him to do.
Maddi: Thank you for your vote of confidence! It’s greatly appreciated. Though I’m sure my story isn’t the best… shh, my head just got bigger...
Midnight Star: Updated!
Velvetfire: Flattering! Yes, I do owe you one, and I hope this makes up for it. But studying comes first young lady!
Inuzands: Well then thank you for your review! I’m very honored. Unfortunately, you might have to wait awhile for the identity of the silver eyed one… that scene is actually one of the last chapters.

On AFF: Thank you to Krystal
Walter205: Thank you , I’m glad you like the story so much!
Mlmonty: Wounded person sex… Lol you have to admit that’s a funny phrase… even if it is painful. BTW, 6 chapters and no meeting? Holy crow that’s fantastic! You sure know how to resist temptation!
And to all of you on Fanfiction.net… if I didn’t answer your review, you can smack me if you so choose… but I think I did get everyone. I heart you all very much.

Please Regard Me Kindly,
I Agree