A Love That Never Was

Author’s note: Lot’s of love to my readers and reviewers. You guys make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!

Disclaimer: I don’t own Inuyasha but I’ll fight for him if I have to!


She sat under the tree, strumming her guitar. She couldn’t see him, but she took comfort in the fact that her best friend sat in the branch directly above her. He worried about her constantly, but it had taken her a long time to hear realize it.

“Hey,” she said. “What does it feel like to be in love?”

“Feh,” came the response. “Why are you asking such a dumb question?”

“Because I want to know.” She continued to play a few chords, not expecting anything. He was in one of those moods. She jumped slightly when he landed next to her, but continued to focus on her guitar playing. She didn’t want to look at him. It would be too hard to face him right now.

“It feels like…” She stopped wanting to hear him. “It feels like everything is brighter. Like the colors of the world had all the dirt washed away only you never knew there was any dirt until that moment. And when you’re with the person, it’s all sharper like your vision was improved. And they just make you feel…I don’t know. Complete I guess.” The two of them sat in silence for a minute.

“So who are you in love with?” he asked.

“No one,” she lied.

“You’re lying,” he told her. “I can smell it. So who is it?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Yes it does, she thought.

“Tell me who.”

“Don’t worry about it.” It’s my problem, not yours.

“Are you embarrassed?”

“No.” Just ashamed.

“Do I know him?”

“Not at all?” All too well.

“Why won’t you tell me?”
“Because it’s not a big deal.” Because you’d never forgive me.

“If you love someone, it is a big deal.”

“I never said I loved someone.” But you think about it every day.

“And you never said you didn’t.”

“I don’t feel like talking about it anymore.” You would hate me if I told you.

“Why are you getting so upset?”

“I just want to drop the subject.” Because I don’t want to love him. .

“Fine, but you’re going to have to deal with it eventually.”

“If you say so.” Not if I hanytanything to say about it.

Kat woke up crying and choking. She tried desperately to pull air into her lungs and started coughing instead. She was finally able to take a gasping breath and burst into fresh sobs. Her body shook as she wept, not knowing why she was crying. She felt a pair of arms wrap around her and she buried her face in someone’s chest. She didn’t know who it was, but at the moment she didn’t care. As she cried, the dream slipped away from her, leaving her with an empty feeling. She slowly became aware that the arms wrapped around her were large and strong and that the chest she was resting against was very definitely male.

She looked up to Sesshoumaru’s face looking down at her. His amber colored eyes were filled with worry. One hand was stroking her hair as he gently rocked her back and forth as one would with a child. It should have seemed strange, having a man she barely knew holding her, but instead it was comforting. As if nothing could harm her as long as he was near. Her breathing slowly went back to normal as her sobs died down. She sat in the circle of his arms for a moment, and then pulled away. His arms tightened as she moved, but then let her go.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

“I’m fine. It was just a dream.”

“It didn’t seem like just a dream to me. Ordinary dreams do not wake one up screaming and crying.” His amber seemed to almost glow in the dark. Kat blinked to try and clear her vision. Great first the seizure, then the dream, now I’m going to start hallucinating in front of this guy. I am making the ultimate first impression here. Wait a second.

“What are you still doing here?” she asked him. To her surprise, he chuckled softly.

“Well, do you want the long version or the short version?” he asked. She raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“The real version,” she replied tartly, causing him to laugh this time as though his sides were going to split. When his laughter finally died down, he turned to look at her.

“You have very interesting friends,” he told her. Her mouth dropped open. What had they done?

“After you had fallen asleep, I walked downstairs and was greeted by three lovely young women. They were very interested in clarifying my intentions towards you. So after your friend Valerie came up here to help you change into your pajamas, I bought them all dinner and we had along talk, most of which had to do with every aspect of my life they could think of. Valerie was determined to make sure that I understood my death would be quite painful if I harmed you. Sakura grilled me about every aspect of my life, especially trying to make sure I did not have a trail of ex wives behind me. And Stacy, well…” At this he started to laugh again.

“Stacy is quite a sweet young woman. But I’m afraid that she had now decided our future together and is planning every detail of your life, right down to what you should wear for your wedding day.” He continued to laugh. Glad you find it funny, she thought. I’m absolutely mortified. When I see them I will kill them.

“I came up here after we ate to see how you were. I sat down in the chair and well, I suppose I must have fallen asleep” He glanced at a blanket lying on the ground. “I suppose one of your friends most have covered me with that blanket at some point.”

Kat nodded and She sat up carefully. No dizziness. Maybe I’ve slept enough that I’ll be able to get out of bed. She swung her legs carefully over the side and stood up. She legs then immediately buckled underneath her.

Before she could hit the ground she felt his arms catch her and carry her back on to the bed. How did he move that fast she wondered before the room began to spin.

“Now then according to your friend Valerie, you are not allowed to walk around until tomorrow. And she made quite clear that I would suffer if I let you. So for my sake, will you please lay down?” She tried to grumble, but he just looked so sweet. Not cold or collected. It was as if someone had warmed those iced over features of his.

What was she thinking about? Never once in the time she had met him had seemed cold. What is going on with me she asked herself. I better get to the doctor, maybe these seizures are getting worse or something.

He settled her on the bed and she felt the dizziness lessen slightly. But it was replaced with a wave of exhaustion. As he moved to release her from his arms, she felt the loneliness begin to creep around her. She had missed having someone to hold her when she had her nightmares. It had been so long since she had woken up with a pair of arms comforting her while she cried. Not since her parents had died. She felt the tears well up again and cursed herself silently. He’s going to think you’re nothing but a weak little girl like always, she told herself. Like always? What was that? Oh God what’s happening to me, she wondered as began to cry in earnest.

His arms were around her again in an instant and she wept bitterly, clinging to him.

“I’m sorry,” she told him as she cried. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” He lifted her up and then repositioned the two of them so that they lay on the bed together. His arms cradled her against his chest as he whispered soft soothing nonsense like you would to a crying child.

“Do you have children?” she asked him. She felt his arms stiffen around her.

“I had a daughter,” he told her. “But she died a long it ago.”

“I’m sorry.” The two of them lay there silently. Kat let her hand wander and play with the silk of his log white hair. It was just as soft as it looked and she began to take pleasure in letting the silky strands slide between her fingers. She sighed and snuggled up closer to him. This felt so good. But dear lord, she barely knew him. What was she doing? She looked up at him. He had his eyes closed his face was buried in her hair.

“Sesshoumaru?” She watched him open his eyes to at at her. “What are you thinking right now?”

“Honestly?” She nodded. “I’m thinking of how sweet you smell.”

“And what do I smell like?” she asked giggling. What an odd comment. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply.

“Cherry blossoms. And lotus.” Must be that new shampoo I’ve been using, she thought. Her mind slipped back to how odd this was. She had just met him. They hadn’t even kissed, but here they were snuggling as if it was perfectly natural.

“What is troubling you, Katherine?” he asked her.

“Well this is. I mean don’t get me wrong, it’s wonderful. But don’t you think we’re moving a little bit fast?”

“No,” he told her. “It feels to natural to be wrong.” She closed her eyes and laid her cheek against his chest.

“Will you tell me another story?” she asked. He didn’t say anything and she got worried. Did I offend him, she wondered. And then he began to speak.

“A long time ago, there was a demon. He was proud demon and lord of all the lands around him. He had power and he was feared. But he was not content. He wanted more power, power that would make him the most feared demon in all the world. But the only was he have that power would be to take his father’s sword, which was in the hands of his brother, who was only a half demon. When he tried to take the sword, he was thwarted by the combined powers of his brother and a human priestess who followed the half demon everywhere. At first, the demon paid no mind to little human girl, but after time passed he grew fascinated with her. She was human, but her priestess abilities made her formidable foe to be reckoned with. So he began to seek her out. He would come on her when she was alone and force her to answer questions. The demon believed that once his curiosity was satisfied his fascination would go away. But instead it grew every time he saw her.”

“Was he in love with her?” asked Kat, fascinated by the tale.

“Not at first. But the more he saw her, the more he wanted to be around her. She and her friends quested together for a powerful artifact and he watched her as they traveled. Whenever she spoke to the demon, she stood tall and refused to show him fear. This was something he was not used to. Everyone feared him, but she alone would stand up to him.”

“And then one day she and her friends completed their quest, but at the costs of all her fiends lives. But she the artifact gave her the ability to make a wish. One wish whatever she chose it to be. Many people had suffered throughout the course of time that had been taken for her to receive this ability. And so, she wished that none of the suffering had ever happened. The demon tried to stop her, but she disappeared in before his eyes.”

“And so the demon became enraged. He searched everywhere for her, the little human that he had fallen in love with without even knowing it until it was too late. As he searched for her, his evil heart changed. He grew more compassionate. Everything that he did from that moment on was with her in mind.” Kat felt herself drifting off to sleep as she listened to his soft deep voice.

“That’s so sad,” she whispered as she felt sleep beginning to overtake her. “Did he ever find her?”

“No.” He told her. She closed her eyes and drifted off. The last thing she heard was a soft whisper.

“But he never stopped looking.”