Dear Diary

Author's Note: Written for InuComedyClub's "Herbal Remedies" prompt. Placed first. :)

Entry 15: Herbal Enhancement

Dear Diary,

Giving Inuyasha my diary to write out his feelings was definitely not the smartest plan this little miko has ever come up with. Did I really need to know my one true love is a gay bottom boy, Diary? Did I? Well, I totally asked for it and I totally got it, and since I was dumb enough to tell my furry-eared little hanyou honey that if he "really loved me" he'd stop letting every male in Japan mount and ride him like ye olde messenger horse, I suppose I deserved him turning pot and calling this kettle black. And except for Sango, who plays a little with me and otherwise is saving herself for Miroku (who's even queerer than Inuyasha, truth be told), our scorecards line up pretty even.

"We're a heck of a pair," I told my baby as we had a little oral make-up sex the other night after a fight so loud Kaede had to douse us both with a bucket of water and threaten to feed us to a centipede. "We are what we are," sighed Inuyasha, sounding too much like Popeye for me not to giggle a little, but he likes my giggle and anyhow he's right. Can't make either of us stop craving what we crave, so we might as well admit it.

Still, the others are kinda sick of us at this point, whether we're arguing or making up, so my Inuyasha isn't getting the boy attention that keeps him in a good mood (and nice and hard) for me. Totally unfair! Even commanding him to "sit" has lost its sparkle…for both of us. I had to do something, right Diary? A girl has to act to protect herself and the man she loves. We may be in the Feudal Era, but I'm a modern girl. So, I went to Kaede and asked her help with an herbal remedy that would make my Inuyasha want me, even without one of the boys as an appetizer.

She was so awesomely helpful! She showed me the leaf of this plant and told me to find a bunch of it and mix it into Inuyasha's rice. I went one better and planned a special big double bowl of ramen with "horny herb"! No, it's not really called that, duh, but I'm not good with remembering things and it was enough just to walk through the forest and find some. All those leaves look the same!! Fortunately, I ran into Rin, picking flowers (the girl is a menace with that flower obsession, but I'm always totally sweet and smell them when she asks and let her put crowns in my hair and whatever), and she says she knows that plant and where there's lots of it. I follow her happily and she points and I pick a whole armful. She waves as I leave and ruins my mood only a little bit by saying she hopes Sesshoumaru decides to stop hiding from us soon because she misses us. Nice, huh?

Well, I boil the water and toss in the leaves and let it steep good before adding the noodles. Soon, Inuyasha comes peeking, led by his adorable, greedy little inu nose. "Ninja food!" he cries, bounding over and making grabby hands. I giggle until he snaps, "That better not be a bribe for you-know-what. I'm not in the mood." I want to "sit" his tight little uke butt about a hundred times for implying that all I want is sex. But instead I take a deep breath and ladle out a huge helping. He makes a face and asks what all the greenery is, and I tell him it’s a special ninja flavor and he shrugs and just yums it up. My good puppy, how I love him! Life so owes us our happily ever after!!

Unfortunately, that's not what we got, again. Turns out that Rin showed me the wrong plant, and I ended up giving Inuyasha a huge bowl of…catnip! Kirara spent the whole darn day circling him and purring like a fiend, while Kaede laughed her head off. I suppose I should be grateful Inuyasha wasn't allergic, but all I could do was cry my eyes out when I found cat and dog in a clearing later, Kirara pinning my naked hanyou to the ground with big furry paws and licking every inch of him! His cock was as hard as an oak!

I want a do-over!!

Dewa kore de,

Kagome