Spark

Chapter 15

Bluebeard

At some point during the violation of her body, Rin broke.

She knew she had fragmented, she knew her thoughts were wrong somehow. It was not Sesshomaru who was hurting her. He never had…he never would. But it was.

It was. He’d failed, he hadn’t come after all. Her faith was ill-placed. Her blood hummed with betrayal and rage. She couldn’t keep it where it was any more.

Rin stared up at his golden eyes until she was blinded by their brilliance. A sound broke from her throat. It wasn’t a moan or a sob.

She laughed.

#

The skies to the North were murky with wispy grey clouds. It wasn’t a particularly ominous sky, Kagome had seen worse. But there was something in the cold stillness that made her stomach sour.

She felt something…it was familiar yet foreign all at once. It felt like her own power. Pure and hot, but it was tinged, corrupted somehow. It was like trying to remember a song only heard once. Kagome knew it. Yet she didn’t.

Without thinking, she clung tighter to Sesshomaru’s side. She’d allow herself to admit it felt good and right in a weird way. She certainly felt safe, nearly invincible. No one could hurt him, therefore no one could hurt her.

His arm was looped loosely around her waist, his clawed fingers resting on her hip. The very sight of them made her blush.

Kagome still didn’t know what to do. Should she try? She should run away? How could she tell InuYasha what she was feeling…what was she feeling?

They descended, even though the mountain loomed in front of them. Kagome frowned.

“Hey! What are you doing! I thought you said Raiju’s fortress was on top of that mountain.”

“I did. You are staying here, miko,” he said.

She shook her head. “No way. I’m going. I told you, this is all my fault.”

He lowered his face to hers, his eyes wild. “Don’t be so foolish!” he hissed. “Raiju has wanted to destroy this Sesshomaru for longer than you’ve been alive, human. To think yourself so important,” he scoffed.

Anger brought heat to her face. “Stop it! Stop treating me like dirt! You may want to forget the whole mess, but I don’t…I can’t. Maybe you should make good on your promise to kill me, Sesshomaru. Do us both a favor.”

His hand fisted the front of her sweater. He shook her so hard her teeth rattled. She cried out in pain, and he instantly stopped. Sesshomaru bared his teeth at her. She didn’t know what that meant. He was angry, she got that much, but did he intend to frighten her with that?

“I’m not scared of you, so stop snarling in my face like a rabid dog!” She was shouting. Kagome knew it hurt his ears, that her voice got shrill when she raised it in anger, but she couldn’t help it.

For a dizzying moment, she was certain he was going to strike her, but then he kissed her instead. She wanted to be strong, to push him away, to slap him. Something other than falling against him with a muffled cry, her knees buckling.

Sesshomaru held her at arm’s length as though she were the one snapping and baring her teeth. “You will stay here because it is dangerous. Raiju would not hesitate to kill if he thought it would hurt me.”

Kagome laughed. “Would it? Would it hurt you to see me die, Sesshomaru?”

His hand tightened on her shoulder, his claws slicing through her sweater, pricking her skin. She’d never seen him look the way he looked then. Ready to fall apart. Even when he’d attacked InuYasha in their father’s tomb, his tone dripping with venomous hatred, he’d never looked anything but calm, if a bit arrogant.

Now, he looked ill. Even his markings seemed paler. Maybe he was right. Maybe the spell hadn’t been broken after all.

“Do you think…the spell…do you think it isn’t broken yet?” she asked softly, trying to squirm free of his painful grip.

“I do not know. But you will stay here.”

“Why can’t you say it?”

“This Sesshomaru does not know that of which you speak.”

Kagome stamped her foot, tears stinging her eyes. “Why can’t you say that you don’t want me to get hurt? Why’s that so hard? Look, I’ll start out first. Sesshomaru. I care about you. I don’t want you to get hurt. Please, be careful,” she said, the words falling over each other. She couldn’t stop. “I’d be really upset if something bad happened to you. In fact, I’d probably cry. A lot. I don’t know if I love you. Maybe I do. I’m really confused, but I know that I care. Did that make you sick? Do you feel like you’re a weak person because someone gives a shit about you? Is that it? Well, you were already ruined before this mess with me, then. Rin, that sweet little girl, she loves you. She cares.”

He looked towards the mountain, his face hard. “I know,” he said.

He still wouldn’t let go. Kagome felt her blood, hot and sticky, on her shoulder. “You know, I bet you never once told that little girl you loved her. Did you?”

“No.”

“Why? Why can’t you just say it?” she screamed at him, her face wet with tears.

He was silent for a long time, so long that Kagome’s ears began to ring with that terrible silence, but then he spoke, “Because I do not.”

“Why? Why not? Why won’t you let yourself? I’m betting that Rin is the most lovable thing in the whole world! If you can’t love her, you sure as hell can’t love me. So, look, I’ll solve your me problem. I’ll go home, okay?”

“No.”

“No?” Kagome stumbled away from him when he released her.

“You belong to me,” he said as though that just solved everything.

“I don’t. I refuse.”

“Then you refuse to be with me.”

Kagome chewed her lip. She didn’t know. “That’s not what I really meant, Sesshomaru. I refuse to just be an object, another conquest, a sword, a thing. I’m a person, with feelings.”

He laughed at her. It was such an odd, brittle sound that it made her dizzy.

“Believe me, miko, this Sesshomaru knows you have feelings. You are quite inept at keeping them to yourself. And what good are words, miko? Why do you need to hear them? Rin does not. She never asks. Because, though she is but a child, she sees this Sesshomaru’s actions.”

“I need words because…because I do!” Kagome stammered, looking at her shoes. How could she make him understand? “Not killing me doesn’t prove much to me, Sesshomaru. If that’s your way of saying I like you and wish to get to know you better, then it just plain sucks.”

He quirked a brow at her. “I do not like you, miko. You are an affliction. A disease. Would that I could rid my thoughts of you… You are a madness. Even now….” He frowned, shaking his head ever-so-slightly. “Even now, when there are more pressing matters, I have catered to your wishes. It humiliates me.”

Kagome decided that was likely the most romantic thing she’d ever get out of him. For some reason, his sneering tone and his snide words made her smile. Not caring that it’d anger him, Kagome crossed the small distance between them and pressed a chaste kiss to his frowning lips. “Good enough,” she said.

“Good enough?”

She nodded. “Yeah. For now. But I expect you to do better in the future.”

“The future?”

Kagome grinned and nodded again. She was going to do this relationship different. Okay, so it was sort of dysfunctional…and would possibly end up only hurting her and never giving her what she wanted, but she had to try. In his strange disconnected way, he cared. Cared enough that he didn’t want her hurt or dead. And when the spell had been broken, he’d still made love to her. That had to mean something.

“It is your choice, miko.”

“What is?”

“Any future with this Sesshomaru.” His voice was tight when he said it, as though he’d just told her something he wished he hadn’t.

His words devastated her in the most delicious way. No one had ever let her have a say in anything. InuYasha had wanted both her and Kikyou. Her destiny had dragged her kicking and screaming into a past full of brutality and death and pain. And now, Sesshomaru, of all creatures, was giving her a say.

The moment felt…important. Grave. Dire. In retrospect, many years later when she would have time to bitterly reflect on it, she would question what she said next the most. What if she had said something different? Would things still have remained the same? Would the future have been better? Would she have been happier? Would the life she had lived hold meaning? Would Sesshomaru have gone on to conquer the world or fade into legend?

In retrospect, maybe she should’ve thought it out a bit more. But Kagome was impulsive.

“Okay,” she said.

Sesshomaru gave her a blank look.

“I’d like a future with you. Whatever that brings. We can just…you know…try.” It felt so good to be bold. To make a concrete decision and just fly with it.

“There is no trying,” he said, his tone serious. “Once you give yourself to me, there’s no going back.”

“That’s all right. I think it will be nice to belong to someone and have someone belong to me.”

“I don’t think you understand, miko.”

“Stop trying to talk me out of it. You said it was my choice, didn’t you?” He nodded. “Good. I want to get to know you…unravel your mysteries, and since you’re so stubborn…well, that just might take forever.”

Tenderness passed over his face like a cloud moving over the sun. It was gone so fast, Kagome didn’t think she’d seen it at all, save for the warm feeling in her heart.

He sighed. “Very well.”

“So…can I go with you to beat the crap out of Raiju and save Rin? I’ll pout and whine if you say no.”

He glowered at her, but then his shoulders stooped just a little. “Do as you like.”

And for once, Kagome had done just that.

#


Raiju pulled on his clothes, averting his gaze from the young woman sprawled on his bed.

It had been an unfortunate turn of events, but necessary all the same. She’d understand eventually, he was certain of it.
The girl would share his lifespan, some of his powers, and in return, he had a miko that could not harm him. She would see the good sense in that.

Oh, he imagined she’d be upset that he intended to kill Sesshomaru, but she’d get over that as well. She had more than a thousand years to.

He felt a wave of powerful youkai collide with his own. Raiju smiled.

The potion had been such an insidious invention. Azami, the old witch, was so easy to fool. Most humans were. She’d accepted a few charms and baubles to simply hold onto the potion until a girl would come for it.

There was simply no cure for the spell, as it drew from latent emotions. Once consummated, it made permanent those feelings. Knowing Sesshomaru’s possessive nature as he did, he knew the dog would never let the miko go. It would never have worked on Sesshomaru’s hanyou brother. It was never intended to.

The only real challenge had been to steer the miko toward acquiring it, making the foolish girl believe it was the only way to win her intended’s love.

He’d paid a few village women to speak of the old witch to the girl, to tell her that Azami knew of potent aphrodisiacs that would make the miko irresistible to the hanyou. The wretched girl had balked at the idea. But, as he predicted, she’d caved eventually.

As he felt Sesshomaru’s youki grow nearer and break past his barriers, he willed the barrier containing the hanyou and the imp to disappear.

Raiju smirked as he ran a hand down Rin’s pale thigh. She felt cold to the touch so he covered her with a thick blanket. The girl stared unblinking at the ceiling.

Once the hanyou saw his hated half-brother with the girl that was supposed to have been his, he was certain the two would destroy each other. And if they did not, one would certainly fall, leaving Raiju with only one remaining opponent. And with a miko at his side, he was invincible.

A/N: Okay, not as long as I’d originally planned! However, when editing, this seemed the most logical and poignant place to stop. Sorry for the delay, I just couldn’t feel satisfied with this chapter for some damn reason.

All that being said, I’ve only one more pre-written chapter left. Expect updates only every other day. I need a day to write one, and then a day to edit. But I’ll try to be punctual. I have plotted twenty chapters. Not including a possible sequel. Just an FYI.

Anyway, I want to say one more thing…er…maybe several more things.

The reviews…geez. You guys are sweethearts, really. Look, I’ll even share something private! Before writing this, I’d been busy editing a novel of mine. I was getting discouraged. Don’t get me wrong, I think the book is made of win and awesome, but some parts were not resonating. I felt sort of adrift in mediocrity. And maybe I am. I don’t know. But I had stopped half way through a hundred thousand words. Just blocked on editing even. So, I thought maybe doing this would help get those creative juices flowing. And it did, but really it’s the reviews that have bolstered my flagging spirits. So…yeah! Thank ever so much. Love love love.