What am I?

Yuka was excited, gathering up supplies for a night with her friends. Her friends had readily agreed to meet at Kagome’s shrine. Though she was really hung up on the idea of going to a club, she just couldn’t imagine Kagome doing that, but then again, she couldn’t imagine Kagome getting drunk and sleeping with a guy either.

Planning on getting there before everyone else, Yuka finished grabbing the movies and shoved them in a bag. She wanted to question Kagome and possibly Miroku when she got there, because it felt as if Kagome had left out some details on their walk home from the doctor’s office.

What did that man, Miroku, think about all this? If he was truly Inuyasha’s best friend, how did it effect their friendship? Did he even feel bad about getting laid?

Shutting the door behind her, she stepped down the front steps lightly and turned in the direction of Kagome’s home. Kagome needed her help, even if she didn’t know it yet. Kagome had been there for Yuka, so she was going to be there for Kagome.

@*@*@

Kagome didn’t know what was wrong, she had an idea, but she just couldn‘t shake how bad she felt. Her self esteem was in the toilet, and somebody flushed it. However, knowing what was wrong and fixing what was wrong were two totally separate things. Everyone knew what she had done, and despite what was said, she was starting to feel the nagging in the back of her brain that told her people were talking.

She shook her head, she had repeated to herself over and over again that what people said didn’t matter. Why now? Because you’re finding more things to be depressed about, her conscience muttered sarcastically to her.

Depression? No, just feeling low.

Kagome didn’t want her friends to think bad about her, and that’s what she cared about. She was still Kagome, still felt the same… She hung her head further, even her thoughts were disjointed and confusing, jumping from one place to another… Just when she thought she knew what was wrong, her mind supplied a different answer. Was it depression? Low self-esteem? Guilt? A combination of everything?

“Kagome! Yuka’s here!”

Yuka? Kagome jumped up, in disbelief that she had forgotten about her surprisingly helpful friend, and quickly made her way to the front of her house.

“Sorry I’m early, but we need a girl talk!” Yuka said in a cheery voice that wouldn’t let Kagome’s mother know something was too terribly wrong.

“Girl talk?” Kagome gulped as Yuka grabbed her arm to drag her upstairs, she almost looked nervous.

Yuka quickly place herself on her bed and spoke, “Where’s Miroku?”

Kagome sighed with her eyes lowered, “He’s helping my grandfather around the shrine.”

Yuka looked apprehensive, “Kagome, there’s something I need to tell you.”

Kagome looked up, feeling the tension in Yuka’s voice, “What is it?”

“I haven’t told anyone this before, so you’ll have to be a bit patient with me…” Yuka trailed off and seemed to gather her thoughts before continuing, “Remember when Haru started spreading those rumors about me a couple months ago?”

Kagome remembered, and she also recalled that Yuka had steadfastly denied any involvement. Kagome had ripped into a few people because of those darned rumors. She nodded at her friend.

“I did sleep with him…”

Kagome’s eyes widened in shock and broken thoughts fought to the surface, “Yuka… why?”

“It wasn’t like the rumor though,” Yuka was quick to add, “But I was so ashamed I couldn’t tell anyone. I was afraid if I admitted to one part, that everyone would believe everything.” Yuka took a shuddering breath, “It was actually not bad, I mean it hurt, but I guess it could have been worse. He was actually pretty gentle.”

“Why?” Kagome repeated, the meaning behind it was clear. Haru was a known player, so why had she done it?

“He was so sweet… and I thought that I would be different, he swore that he wouldn’t do to me what he had done before to other girls. He said his parents were really strict, so I couldn’t tell anyone we were hanging out so that they wouldn’t find out about it. So it ended up that I was seeing him on the sly for three months before I decided to sleep with him, and afterward I asked him if it meant that we were boyfriend and girlfriend. He just laughed at me and said that he would call me when he needed to see me again.”

Kagome stared in shock at the tears that started rolling down Yuka’s face, how had she not known this had happened to her friend?

“For the next two weeks, he just called when he wanted to hook up. He stopped hanging out with me, he stopped taking me out… he just wanted sex. So I finally told him that I wouldn’t do it anymore.” Yuka’s eyes closed and she was obviously having problems retelling this memory, “He yelled at me, telling me that I couldn’t break up with him after all he had done for me. That was the kicker Kagome, he really thought I owed him something for hanging out with me for so long without getting any.” Yuka’s eyes were angry in remembrance, “He was so angry, that… Well… you know the rest…”

Oh Kagome remembered, the whispers in the hall, the bragging of the boys… “How did you deal with that?” She still knew that Yuka had problems getting a boy to look at her.

“I had you guys standing by me, telling off everyone you heard.” Yuka smiled faintly, “I know you were sick a lot, but you helped more than you realized. It’s better now, but there are still a few issues.”

“So Haru was the only one you slept with right?” Kagome felt immediately horrible for the question.

“Yeah, that’s the only true part…” Yuka didn’t seem offended and her tears had stopped, “I didn’t know he could be so malicious, especially his friends!”

“Oh Yuka…” Kagome’s heart broke for her friend.

“Don’t worry Kagome… I’ve had time to get over it, and I just know now that most guys are jerks. It doesn’t hurt as much now as it had, so I guess that’s my point to you.”

Kagome smiled at her friend, “I understand what you‘re trying to say. I’m not the only one who’s gone though something like this, it’s not the end of the world, and not to dwell on it?”

“Exactly! Besides, Miroku’s a real looker, and he seems nice enough. I’m not saying that there’s no issues to work out, but when you need to talk, I’m here. Like you were for me.”

Kagome didn’t really think that she was there for her friend like Yuka claimed, but if what she had done actually helped… It made her feel better. Her friend wasn’t judging her.

“Talking to you made me feel like my problems are so silly.”

“If you’re feeling them, then they’re not silly.” Yuka countered quietly.

“Miroku… he’s got a girl he wants to marry…” Kagome started in quietly, “He loves her, but he’s told me that he thinks about me a lot now.”

“If that hadn’t of happened, would he still be thinking about you like that?” Yuka asked.

Kagome thought back to the stolen kisses and blushed, “I don’t know, maybe…”

Yuka didn’t miss the blush, “You better tell me what I’m missing…”

Kagome opened her mouth once, her face immediately reddening further but no sound came out. She took a breath, and tried again tentatively, “It started with a game, he bet a kiss, and I thought I would win so I agreed and then I lost. So it kinda snowballed from there, but we never went beyond kissing!”

“Has he gotten jealous?”

Thinking back to the incident with Kouga, Kagome nodded.

“You have to live up to the fact that he might be falling for you.” Yuka said in a sing-song voice, trying to lighten the mood for her semi-depressed friend.

“We can’t… you don’t understand, we just can’t!”

“And why not?”

And that was a question Kagome couldn’t answer thoroughly without spilling the truth about her other life.

Would that be a bad thing?

“Yuka… I have something to tell you, and you’re not gonna believe me.”

Yuka tilted her head in determination, “Try me.”

“Alright…” Kagome said and grabbed Yuka’s hand, pulling her out the door of her bedroom, out the house and into the shrine grounds. “Miroku!”

Yuka was insanely confused.

“Miroku!” Kagome yelled with a strange sort of excitement, she was going to spill it all.

“Kagome? Is there something wrong?” Miroku’s voice rang out as he ran.

“No.. no… nothing is wrong, but I need you to answer some questions for me.”

Miroku immediately looked apprehensive, “I suppose so…”

“How did you get here?” Kagome asked.

Miroku’s apprehension grew as he looked from Yuka to Kagome, “I’m not sure if I should answer that.”

“It’s alright Miroku, I’m going to tell her, I can trust her.”

“I got here through the well.” He said to the young girl.

“The well.” Yuka deadpanned.

“Yes.”

“It’s true Yuka… the well takes me to a place 500 years in the past.” That just sounded so believable… right…

Yuka looked at the two as if they were crazy.

“Come on you two! I’ll prove it.” She grabbed both their wrists and took off towards the well house. Skeptical, Yuka allowed Kagome to pull her.

They reached the well and Kagome quickly turned to Miroku, “Go get Inuyasha.”

“You want me to get Inuyasha… now?” His eyes telling her that it was probably not the greatest idea.

“Yes.”

His eyes bore into hers and Kagome felt slightly uncomfortable, “Very well.”

He jumped and blue light surrounded him, taking him to the past.

“H-how did you do that?” Yuka stuttered.

“I’ll explain while we wait.” Kagome answered.

And she did.

********

“No.”

“She wishes you to join her on her side.”

“I said no! Are your ears not workin’ right monk?” Inuyasha growled out in frustration, she came through the well and told the monk this, and she didn‘t bother to search him out?

“Then I shall go through the well in your place.” Miroku played his trump card in an effort to maneuver the hanyou in a position that he’d want to go through the well.

“Like you can.”

“We will see Inuyasha,” and with that he turned toward the direction of the well.

Feeling Inuyasha follow, Miroku smiled, then ran.

Inuyasha quickly caught him, “Monk, what are you trying to pull?”

Miroku didn’t answer, as he still wasn’t entirely sure he wanted the hanyou to know about his ability to travel through the well.

Though, now, at this point, secrets were not good.

Miroku reached the well, and jumped. The odd feeling of weightlessness still making him uneasy as he was encapsulated within the blue light.

As soon as he got his balance, he flew up the ladder as fast as he could, feeling the well work once more. Miroku was actually afraid of Inuyasha at this moment, not sure how the hanyou would take to him being in the future.

“Monk!” Inuyasha leapt from the well and landed in front of Miroku who was just pulling himself up over the lip of the well.

“Heh- Inuyasha, you did decide to come.” His voice innocent and slightly out of breath.

“You have a bunch to explain.” Inuyasha growled out.

“I too have a rosary on my neck.” Miroku offered in explanation, hoping the hanyou would back up so that he could finish exiting the well.

“Inuyasha…” Kagome’s sweet voice rang out and Inuyasha turned to view her. Miroku took the opportunity to finish pulling himself onto the lip of the well.

“His ears.” Yuka breathed.

“He’s a hanyou.” Kagome explained as if Inuyasha wasn’t right in front of her.

“They’re real?” Yuka asked Kagome in awe.

“I’m not a fucking display!” Rage built inside of Inuyasha immediately when he heard Kagome call him a hanyou, as if that was all he was. Not her friend, not her daily companion, but just a hanyou.

“Inuyasha, please… this is the best way to get Yuka to believe me.”

“So now you want to drag the hanyou around to show your friends?” Inuyasha’s fists clenched, those words had inexplicably hurt.

“Inuyasha, please, just calm down, I didn’t mean it like that and you know it!”

Inuyasha spun to Yuka, who was actually starting to smell scared, and snarled at her while holding his claws up, “You wanna see what a hanyou really can do?”

“Inuyasha!” Miroku’s voice spoke up before Kagome could utter the ‘Sit’ command, and throwing her a look that clearly told her to let him handle Inuyasha, “Think about what you’re doing, you are our friend!” Seeing that was not working, Miroku changed tactics, “Besides, what I wouldn’t give to have a beautiful pair of women fawn over my ears…” He trailed off suggestively.

It seemed to work a bit as Inuyasha’s face tinted slightly pink, “They don’t have to act like I’m not even here!”

“I agree wholeheartedly with you.” And Miroku did agree, Kagome did approach everything the wrong way, and he shot a look towards her that made her wince slightly, “However, it was just a mistake, they mean no harm.”

“Feh.” He stuffed his arms in his sleeves.

“I’m sorry Inuyasha, I didn’t mean to make it sound like that, “Kagome apologized, when she deemed it okay to speak.

“Whatever.” He grumbled, still slightly angry.

“I’m sorry too Inuyasha…” Yuka said quietly, finding her voice and still looking uncertainly at him. She had never meet him before, and now that she had, she wasn’t sure what to think about him. She had first thought him stunning, with the cutest ears she had ever seen. Then just as abruptly, she had been terrified of his fangs and claws as his attention was on her.

“Who are you?” He asked gruffly.

“I-I’m Yuka.” She answered.

“Perhaps this is too much to take in at once.” Miroku remarked.

“Yeah.. It is…” Yuka said, after everything that Kagome had told her and now finally seeing a male with youkai blood flowing through him… she needed to go sit down.

“We’ll go back in.” Kagome offered and Yuka nodded her consent.

“You wanted me to come here just for that?” Inuyasha asked, still slightly pissed.

“Yeah… you can stay if you want, we’re just going to go back inside.”

“Feh.”

*********************************************

A week had passed, and tensions had lessened slightly. No word as to the whereabouts of Naraku had passed their way, and so they traveled after a good-bye to Yuka. They had stayed and answered all of her questions to the best of their ability that night until the other girls, Ayume and Eri, had shown for a quiet movie night. The following day had answered more questions, and Kagome had gotten supplies from the store and she had returned to the feudal era, with a single pregnancy test to be taken in one week.

The scariest thing yet, Miroku had yet to grope anyone.

That was the biggest clue that something was still on his mind.

Sango was still quieter than usual, and Inuyasha was gruffer and more helpful at the same time. It was getting better though. Yuka was right, the more time that had gone by, the better everyone was. It was a matter of dealing, and everyone was dealing in their own way.

“Here.” Inuyasha’s voice was almost a scowl as he thrust three rabbits toward Kagome and Sango. Kagome smiled and took the rabbits, not fooled one bit by his rough attitude. He never hunted this much for them before, and he was trying to be more valuable in his own way.

“Thank you Inuyasha,” Kagome said as he quickly turned around without a word. She turned to Sango, “Should I make ramen?”

“Maybe just for Inuyasha, these rabbits are huge!” Sango remarked as she started to prepare them.

“Is this enough water Kagome?” Shippou appeared with Miroku through the tree-line with eager eyes.

Kagome peered into the pot and gave Shippou a reassuring pat, “It sure is Shippou, you’ve been so helpful!”

Shippou puffed up in childish pride as Inuyasha let out a loud snort.

“Shippou is getting better, he lead me right to the stream. This time with no detours.” Miroku added with a twinkle as Kagome set the pot on the fire. Last time, in Shippou’s excitement to help, ran straight into a bee’s nest.

If at all possible, Shippou looked even prouder. These past couple of days had been great for him. They paid more attention to him, especially Kagome.

“It’s about time that brat learned to do something,” Inuyasha remarked, a veiled complement.

“Well that brat got water for your ramen Inuyasha,” Sango quipped, testing the waters so to speak.

“He doesn’t need my thanks, he’s gonna be eatin’ that rabbit I got.”

Kagome smiled, content to listen to their banter, maybe it wasn’t going to be so bad.

****************

“The ominous presence passed through here just yesterday,” A villager was explaining to Miroku the next day.

Inuyasha’s eyes narrowed, Naraku was leaving a trail again.

The villager continued, “and it headed north into the mountains.”

Shit, Inuyasha thought, Kouga’s territory was there.

Miroku bowed and sensing the other’s impatience to return to the trail, thanked and excused them from the villager’s presence.

“I believe he is trying to draw out Kouga as well.” Miroku said when they were out of earshot.

“I agree.” Sango said.

“We’re not going to help that flea-bitten wolf,” Inuyasha grunted. Last thing he wanted was to see that wolf getting into trouble, then hearing Kagome’s protests that he should help him.

Kagome must have decided to keep her mouth shut, which confused Inuyasha. She usually had something to say when he made a statement like that. That worried him.

He was startled when Kirara transformed and began to load up with passengers, he wasn’t that involved in his thoughts, was he? He moved to Kagome, turned his back, and almost sighed in relief when she climbed on. It was the first time since the incident she had gotten this close. He was left with mixed emotions.

His group wasn’t going to disband yet, that much was clear. So why was he feeling so… so… empty?

Inuyasha wanted things he couldn’t have. He knew he had made a promise that he so desperately wanted out of, but his honor… Until the incident, he hadn’t really thought about what would happen to his life if his friends decided to move on. He didn’t want to go to hell. He wanted to live, to be near friends he never had before. Just when he found some, was he going to be ripped from them?

Jumping through the tree-topped slopes, he caught scent of Naraku. No, not exactly, it was a more feminine scent.

Kagura.

Inuyasha followed his nose toward a large clearing where he stopped and let Kagome dismount from his back. Kirara landed not to far from their position.

“Dance of blades!” Kagura yelled, wasting no time with pleasantries with a flick of her fan.

Inuyasha released a Kaze no Kizu just strong enough to dissipate the attack, giving everyone enough time to flee from her future attacks.

“Shit!” Inuyasha yelled as he caught sight of a hoard of demons approaching.

“We got ‘em Inuyasha.” Sango yelled quickly, tersely, motioning toward the hoard.

Inuyasha’s eyes didn’t flicker towards her, but he gave a curt nod. Leaping upward, flinging himself to get a closer shot at the wind demoness.

Kagura shot another attack his way, which was surprisingly powerless. Inuyasha easily deflected it. Tossing a quick glance towards his friends, relieved that they were fairing well against the lower-level demons.

“Have you heard of what happens to Miko’s with child?” Kagura spoke in her usual confident alto, as if conducting simple, everyday small talk.

Suddenly inexplicably angry, Inuyasha shouted out the wind scar. Dodging nimbly Kagura narrowed her eyes at him before descending again.

“This is a waste of my time,” Kagura spat at him, seemingly disgusted, before attempting to escape on her feather.

“Get back here witch!” Inuyasha yelled, his anger not yet gone. “Kaze no Kizu!” He yelled as another powerful blast burst forth. Kagura didn’t dodge fast enough, it caught the side of her feather that threatened to topple her. Miraculously she held on, and a few demons broke off of the hoard a hundred meters away to give her cover.

“Damnit!” Inuyasha blasted another attack her way, only to hit the demons and allowing Kagura to disappear through the tree-tops at the edge of the clearing.

Glancing over at his companions, he resisted the urge to hunt the wind user down to race to his friends. He decimated the remaining youkai, and then he stood, almost shaking with anger.

Why wouldn’t that bitch bring it up? She knew it would royally piss him off.

Giving his group-mates a once over, he knew they were okay. Calming down slightly, Kagura’s words filtered through his mind. How dare she?

And what exactly did she mean by that? Inuyasha shut his mind down to the possibilities. He didn’t want to know.

“Did she give you much trouble?” Miroku asked, his voice felt like it weighed Inuyasha down.

Irritated, Inuyasha barked challengingly, “No, why would a weak bitch like that be able to give me any problem?”

“We must be getting close if Naraku’s using Kagura to slow us down,” Kagome voiced.

“She didn’t really slow us down much,” Sango noted, deep in thought.

Yeah, she just came to taunt me, Inuyasha thought darkly as he spun to continue walking.

“Inuyasha, maybe we should stay here tonight,” Kagome tried to stop him, “It’s relatively flat land here.”

“Feh, whatever.” Just leave me alone, he added mentally. It was going to be a long night.

**************************

See, Kagura tried to tell him something…. Poor angry Inuyasha…

My apologies for taking so long, life knocked and I had to answer… So hopefully this extra long chapter makes it better! I wrote every word of this chapter in the past 2 days, but hopefully its up to par.

Review! Or at least rate... :) They make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.