This is Gonna be Fun (uncensored)
He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not
xmlns="http://www.w3.org/TR/REC-html40">
Disclaimer: I don’t own the rights
to Inuyasha in any media, nor make any money from
anything regarding it.
A/N Thanks for the reviews
everyone, glad you liked it! And thanks to Bill for the monk info.
Chapter 14: He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not
Inuyasha
hadn’t said a word once he’d started his explanation, and now she stood there,
staring at him.
Well, staring through him. Actually,
looking closer, it felt much more like she was burning holes in his body with
her eyes, and staring through those
“You can see why it happened now, right,
Kagome?” he asked belligerently, trying hard to mask an overpowering sense of
dread. “There wasn’t any other choice, once you started acting all weird like
that. Don’t know why you’d want to drink that stuff, anyway. It smells
terrible.” He finished in a mutter.
Kagome continued to stare.
“Was last night a new moon?” she asked
suddenly.
“Huh?’
“It’s not a difficult question.
Inuyasha
question or somethin’? “Uh…no?”
“So, you were still a half demon, then?”
“Ye-es?”
muddle a human’s brain for quite this long afterwards? He wasn’t really sure…
“Did I threaten to purify you?” Kagome
asked after another moment’s thought.
“No! Of course not!”
He glared at her. “Why are you asking all these stupid questions, anyway?”
She glared back. “Maybe it’s because I’m
talking to an idiot! Why are you lying to me, Inuyasha?”
“What? What are you talking
“Inuyasha,
unless you
you with arrows, there is no possible
just say NO!”
Inuyasha’s
painfully loud voice. “But…but you were going to marry those other men! What
else was I supposed to do?” he asked plaintively.
“Stop me, you dummy!” she shouted. “You’ve
been grabbing me and carting me around all over the place ever since your
stupid beads broke, but suddenly you can’t figure out how to help me out
without…without marrying me? That makes no sense! What in the world happened
last night? What are you trying to hide?”
Yeah, Inuyasha,
why won’t you tell her the truth? Asked his conscience.
I-I am telling her the truth!
Oh please, don’t make me laugh.
I am!
Inuyasha
She – she was going to marry those
other men.
You wanted to. His conscience
reiterated. That’s it. You can dress it up all you like, but
the reason you married Kagome is because you have been panting after her for
months now and finally saw a chance to have her.
But…she wanted to, too!
Inuyasha
I’m not going there! I mean,
Drunk
something are two completely different things. Which, as I recall, is
something I told you when you suggested this stupid idea in the first place,
you dolt!
Inuyasha
Oh
fine then. I married her because I wanted to. There, happy now?
Oh, fucking ecstatic. I’ll be even
happier once you suck it up and tell that to Kagome, dumbass!
I
can’t do that yet! It’s too soon. I’ll tell her…later.
Later?
son is born? Oh wait, that’s right, at the rate you’re going, you’ll never get
a chance to HAVE a son! Tell her the truth, you fucking coward!
But…
Do it. Stop being such a wimp.
I’m not a wimp!
You’re right, you’re not. You’re a
complete and utter wimp. Hell, I bet Kouga
would tell her if he was here.
What the hell did you just say, you
asshole?
Don’t hurt yourself thinking about it. And
I’m an asshole who’s absolutely right, by the way.
Shut the fuck up already, you…
“
closer to the ground, courtesy of Kagome’s hand yanking on his ear.
“Will you stop muttering to yourself and
tell me what happened! Why did you marry me!” She let
go of his ear and gave him a hard, teary eyed stare as he scowled and rubbed
his now throbbing head.
“Because I wanted to, dammit!”
he growled out without thinking, and his eyes widened as he realized what he’d
said.
HA, gotcha! Laughed his
conscience.
“I…I…aw, shit.” He panicked and spun away
from her to stomp quickly in the opposite direction, leaving Kagome to stare
after him open mouthed.
“You wanted to?” Kagome said faintly.
“Wait a second…because you wanted to!” she yelled after him, starting to
follow. “What kind of answer is that? What do you mean, because you wanted to?
Why?”
Inuyasha
rapidly, and took off running as fast as he could away from the clearing.
“Come back here, Inuyasha!”
Kagome yelled after him, stopping to stand at the edge of the clearing and
shaking her fist at his retreating back. “You big dummy, come back!” As he
quickly disappeared from sight, Kagome let her hands fall to her sides and
tried to take a deep, calming breath.
“I will stay calm. I will not scream. I
will NOT scream.”
“Kagome, are you all right?” came
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” she screamed, and
Shippou ran back behind Kirara,
where he decided he was staying until everyone was back to normal…or somebody
made food. Whichever seemed like it might actually happen again this century.
xxxxxxxxx
Sango
her hiraikotsu swinging in choppy motions with every
step. She couldn’t believe
this to her. Married!
blinked them away. She would not
was not worth it…
What was she going to do? She desperately
thought of everything Miroku did: the groping, the
flirting, the womanizing. Still, her anger was slowly
seeping away. And as the thin veneer of anger peeled off, fear was being
painfully exposed. How was she going to live with
feelings hidden. She’d tried so hard to push thoughts of him to the side, like
an old kimono that wasn’t worth wearing. But now…how could she deal with him
now? A husband who would stray every time she turned her back? The man whose
eyes held that stupid little sparkle that had been the beginning of her
masochistic decent into this futile, idiotic, one-sided affection that would
make marriage to him so horribly painful.
She slammed her hiraikotsu
into the ground and put her head in her hands, trying to think. What was she
going to do! He already suspects too much, she thought to herself, cringing as
she remembered their fight in the woods…
xxxxx
earlier
“I swear to you, Sango,
I did not do this to take advantage of you!” he said quickly while hiding on
the other side of a large tree. “I truly could not think of another way to keep
you from doing something you would regret terribly in the morning, that is all!
I did not
She growled and tried harder to hit him on
his stupid, sweet-tongued head.
“Why are you so incensed?” He yelled out,
dodging her swings adroitly. “I did nothing! We are simply married, truly!”
She stopped and glared at him. “
ways, I …I “ She stopped, panting from her recent
exertion as she closed her eyes and tried to calm herself down.
Miroku
minute, his gaze sharpened. “Why is
this bothering you so much,
least giving Inuyasha a chance to explain, but you…
why are you so angry about this? I know you wouldn’t rather be wed to a strange
villager instead. And as a comrade, I wouldn’t have thought I was so completely
repulsive that you wouldn’t at least offer me the chance to explain. Why does
this infuriate you so?”
She’d looked at him for a moment,
clenching her teeth hard to prevent her jaw from quivering, and simply turned
and headed back to the campsite. What was she supposed to say? I’m furious
because I know this is going to end up tearing my heart right out of my chest?
She wasn’t about to blurt out something like that, not when he obviously still
viewed her as a fighting and traveling companion. Well, and a potential lover,
but it wasn’t as though that was in any way unique when Miroku
was involved. Hell, she was sure Miroku would even
have pursued Inuyasha if the hanyou
had been born with breasts.
Well, pursued him and then died
spectacularly the moment he touched the hanyou’s
buns.
As he’d said when he was shouting out his
reasons for this affair, though, the marriage hadn’t resulted from any desire
for her, but to protect a friend. It was humiliatingly obvious that he’d never
felt that sick, painful longing that burned her stomach as she watched him approaching
other women. He didn’t cry himself to sleep trying to ignore his own feelings.
He hadn’t ever prayed to the Gods to make this feeling go away, so his future
would cease to seem so bleak and painful.
He didn’t love her.
And now, if he ever really discovered how
she felt about him, her life would be a living hell. All her efforts to keep
him ignorant about her feelings would be wasted. He might be loyal, and brave,
and sometimes so compassionate and devoted to his friends that it made her
thief, a liar, a lech…
“He should throw his robes away,
honestly.” She muttered to herself. With all his faults, she knew there was no
way he wouldn’t use the knowledge of her feelings to his advantage some night when
they were alone together. And she didn’t think she could survive that without
either killing him, or herself, or both. So, she wouldn’t let him find
out. Simple. She could figure out some way for her to
survive this without being completely destroyed, that’s all. Some way to get
through being married to the man she secretly loved, who didn’t love her at
all.
“Maybe I should just kill him now and get
it over with.” She said quietly, not sure if she was serious or not. “Or maybe
Kagome can find an arrow that can purify lecherous holy men.” She smiled
slightly, feeling a little cheered by the ridiculous thought. Or maybe she’d
just go talk to Kagome. She always seemed to find the good in