Where My Heart Lies

Time passed, winter slowly turning to spring. The heartfelt bonds between the two couples grew. Miroku was exceedingly, and strangely, chivalerous. InuYasha again became patient, even kind in his own coarse, gruff way. The monk and the exterminator had yet to clarify their own relationship with the group, preferring to keep it to themselves for the moment. In fact, since that first kiss on Christmas eve, they had not shared another moment of such intimacy. Miroku spent his time getting to know the girl who held his heart in her hand, know what she wanted, dreamed of, and how she felt. Sango had never felt more content.

In the meantime, InuYasha held true to his word and soon started lessons with Kagome. Their own relationship had only grown stronger. Several times, Kagome had thought she sensed something else, something familiar in the area. In the back of her mind, she recognized the aura of Kikyou, a dull grey color, only because the tragic soul was not among the living or the dead. However, each time the tiny voice spoke up, she quieted it. Surely, if Kikyou was around, InuYasha would be different, perhaps even leave to see her. At the very least he would mention it to her, she was sure. And so, Kagome continued to ignore the small warning bells that rang in her subconscious.

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The clash of steel against steel rang out in the clear air. Kagome wiped the sweat from her brow. Her simple longsword felt heavy and was getting difficult to hold. InuYasha was not putting any strength behind his own sword, but he was by no means going easy on her. It was now late afternoon and they had been practicing since shortly after daybreak. There was a slight chill in the air, not all of the snow had left the ground. This went unnoticed by the girl and the hanyou; she in a simple, snug chocolate colored sleeveless shirt, he without his red haori. Kagome raised her sword again to block InuYasha's oncoming attack as he had taught her. But the weight of the sword was too great as his own blade crashed on hers. She slipped in the slush and mud, her pained and weary arm dropping the now heavy weapon. She tried to catch herself, but fell to one knee, her hands flailing out to brace her.

"Shit! Kagome! Are you ok!?"

InuYasha sheathed his Tetseiga and knelt by her side. She cursed as she knelt back in the mud and examined her hands for any scrapes.

Looking up at InuYasha, Kagome read his immediate concern and smiled to calm him. He was always so worried about this, afraid he was going to hurt her. She knew he only delivered a minute amount of weight behind the blade he used. She wasn't even blocking an attack from InuYasha so much as she was blocking the weight of his sword.

"I'm fine, just dirty now." She heaved a sigh, trying to catch her breath. Goosebumps rippled their way up her skin. Now that she wasn't moving, the air seemed a lot colder. She wiped more sweat from her forehead, sufficiently smearing a streak of mud.

"This is a lot harder than I thought. How long have we been working on blocking?" Kagome was serious when she posed the question, but she saw laughter in the half demons eyes, though she couldn't figure out for the life of her why.

He cleared his throat. He counted off the lessons on his fingers "Well, we worked on your footwork, then we tried attack, but you couldn't hold the sword up, so then we had to build your strength until you could hold it. I think we've been working for about a week and a half on blocking." He paused for a moment and tried to hide a smile.

"Of course, you could always go out like that and just scare your enemies to death."

Kagome didn't understand for a moment and just stared. Then she realized what he meant, the dirt. She glared at him playfully. Then she scooped up a handful of slush and mud. InuYasha's eyes widened as he figured out what she meant to do. But he wasn't going to move. She wouldn't dare.

SHLOPP!

The astonished, and now very muddy, hanyou just stared at her. Kagome had just dumped a pile of muck on the top of his head. Muck that was now dripping off his hair and running in dirty little rivulets down his face. She would pay.

Kagome stood and bolted, her feet sliding in the slippery mud. She had enjoyed the look on InuYasha's face for only a second before she saw the look of vengence that promised he would get even. She gave a surprised squeal as a pack of the squishy substance plastered into her hair. Laughing, she boldly turned to face the the now equally filthy hanyou. She scooped up more of the mud and held her ground.

Admidst roars of laughter that could be heard even on the other side of the village, the mud slinging really started.

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Miroku and Sango sat by the clear stream, talking quietly. Sango listened with interest as Miroku recounted the stories of his childhood. She was so contented here with the monk. He had been so different lately. She was used to him being lecherous, not kind. It was almost as though he was being especially considerate.

They sat close to each other, but not quite touching. After a pause in his story, Miroku reached out to gently take her hand. Sango had been gazing at the placid water. His touch gave her a small start, but she did not draw her hand away. Miroku smiled, pleased. There was a time when even being this close to her would have put the beautiful girl on edge. She turned to him with a shy smile.

"I enjoy you're stories, Miroku." She said.

The monk edged a little closer. " It is easy to talk with someone who's company I take so much pleasure in."

Sango's eyes dropped in bashful embarassment. Miroku was amazed. This woman was one of the strongest, most fearless people he had ever known. Yet in matters of the heart, she was so uncertain. He leaned closer to her. When Sango raised her eyes again, she met his heavy purple eyes just inches from her face. Her breath caught and her pulse quickened, but she didn't pull away. She watched as his face inched closer to hers.

The sound of someone crashing through the woods and laughing rocked her out of her reverie.

Sango barely had time to steady herself on her feet before a very dirty Kagome slammed into her. Raising her head, Kagome caught Sango's shocked look. The she laughed and whirled behind the older girl as a second voice entered the area. Miroku started to laugh. Kagome had completly smeared Sango with mud. Now both girls stood in front a filthy, vengeful hanyou.

"Sango, help!" Kagome hid behind her friend and tried to suppress a giggle.

InuYasha smirked. "Like she's gonna save ya."

Miroku watched as the half breed advanced on the two chuckling girls. Stepping in between them, halting InuYasha progress, his own smile was spreading as he got a full view of InuYasha, covered head to toe if cold, wet mud.

"Ah, it's almost supper time now, why don't you guys call a truce for the time being and hop in the hot springs?"

InuYasha's stomach rumbled at the mention of supper, and he grinned. He would get her back another day.

Sango and Kagome jumped at the monk from the back. He froze as he felt the cold muck seep into his robes. They wrapped their arms around his neck and planted a dirty kiss on each cheek. They called out their thanks as they rushed to the hot springs, InuYasha heading off to the left, to the spring the men usually made use of.

Miroku watched them leave, incredulous. Kagome and InuYasha had ruined the moment with Sango, but he was sure another would prevent itself. Then he spread out his arms and looked at the gunk that covered his robes. He dropped his arms again, resigned.

I save them from him and what do I get? Ugh, women!

Miroku dropped his head and followed the path InuYasha had taken.

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The remainder of the evening had been uneventful. The group had enjoyed a meal of fish and the remaining ramen that Kagome had stored. They relaxed after their meal, letting the fire die down to embers before deciding to turn in. Kagome was grateful when her head rested on the pillow. She had been up early and the workout she had recieved from practice, as well as the mud fight, had exhausted her. She felt the length of InuYasha's thigh against her back. Though he still slept in a sitting position, he had long ago moved from his corner on the far side of the hut, to sitting next to her. He had developed the habit of bracing his back against the wall, his folded leg towards her. Soon she had come into her own habit of moving close enough so that her back pressed up again him. There had never been a question about it, never a concern. Both enjoyed the contact, taking comfort in the knowing that their loved one was just there, within arms reach.

As the two slipped into sleep, Miroku looked on, only a little jealous. He hoped he and Sango would reach that level in their relationship. He turned his eyes to the girl who slept on the other side of the fire. He smiled. She was softening towards him, and he had noticed the two strands of the black silk poking up, barely visible on the back of her own kimono. She hadn't removed the pendant since he had given it to her. The monk closed his eyes and let sleep overtake him. He loved her, he would wait. Hopefully, in time, she would love him. For now, he could only dream.

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Kagome awoke late in the night feeling as though something was off. She shifted to press her back against InuYasha. It usually made her feel better. However, this time, there was nothing to press against. Kagome looked behind her, confused. Where was InuYasha? He hadn't ever left during the night like this before. She looked at the door. An uneasy feeling crawled through her and settled in her stomach. Something was wrong. She shifted Shippo to lay next to Sango and rose. She had fallen asleep still wearing her dark blue jeans and black pullover. While the air was cool, she didn't feel it was necessary to bring a jacket. She wouldn't be gone that long. Pulling on a pair of sneakers, she walked out into the night to find the hanyou she loved.

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InuYasha stepped cautiously. The scent he had been following was familiar, and long ago had been able to quicken his blood. Now he was wary. He had caught wisps of the scent for a while now, but it seemed to only be in passing. He hadn't sought out the source because of what he now had with Kagome. He did not wish to hurt her. But tonight. Tonight had been different.

Her scent is so strong now.

He had to go and see her. Had to see the woman who had been his first love. He told himself that this would be the last time, that he would tell her that he was letting her go, that he was moving on. He felt this was true in his heart. He didn't feel the same rush that he used to. Still somewhere, unbeknownst to him (or perhaps he just ignored it) a small thrill was running its course.

InuYasha followed the scent to the God tree. He stopped in front of the great trunk and cast his gaze around. The scent was definatly it's strongest right here. Where was she? He spun when he heard a twig snap behind him. He caught his breath and closed his hands into loose fists. The source of the scent that had called out to him, had beckoned him to come.

"Kikyou."

The undead priestess looked at him with somber eyes. He saw the pain and was awash with guilt. If it hadn't been for him, she would be safe, at peace. Her every movement was graceful as she strode toward him. InuYasha didn't even notice the tainted soul collector hiding amongst the sprouting foilage.

Kikyou was weak. The Master's collector had kept her barely alive. She was left with no choice but to decieve the hanyou and his woman if she wanted to live. Not that she cared about them. She wasn't a pawn to be moved and used at someone's will. The resentment she felt towards the powerful youkai that held her captive rose like bile in her throat. In her drained state, she stumbled as she closed the distance between her and the once beloved halfdemon. She reached out her hands and let out a small cry. InuYasha hurried to her and caught the miko before she came to harm. She clung to his haori. Kikyou was able to stand, but without the hanyou's support, she would fall.

InuYasha cradled her as they straightend and stood. Kikyou felt old, strange emotions rising. Feelings that she had thought were long passed and buried were starting to peek out. She stood and looked into amber eyes. Eyes that she had loved. Eyes that belonged to the man that she had loved, and who had loved her in return.

InuYasha sensed Kikyou's weakness. His concern swept over him, the feelings that he had for the woman, deep-rooted in past memories, started to stir. She had been the first to invite him to stay with her, despite his appearance and capabilities. She had cared for him, and he for her. When the priestess curled her head head into his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his waist, he returned the embrace without hesitation.

"Kikyou... What's wrong? I'm here if you need me." Even as he said the words, his heart felt a guilty pang, though he could not think of why. His hand stroked through her ebony hair. The feeling was familiar and pleasant. If only he could ease her pain. Give her peace and rest for her troubled soul.

"I am all right InuYasha. Just hold me, please. A little longer." She was weary, but she knew that she would have to drive a wedge between her old lover and the girl. An ember of jealousy glowered for a moment, only to be quickly extinguished by her now cold and caluculating mind. The miko would do what she had to to remain in existense. To exact her revenge.

She lifted her brown-black eyes to his of yellow gold. A memory of long ago brought a sensation she should not have been capable of feeling. She applied pressure with her cool hands to the center of his back. Tiliting her chin, she pressed her lips to his. Her mouth implored his to respond. Another twinge tightened around his heart before InuYasha lost thought and answered her plea. The well-known touch filled his senses and he tightend his embrace. Despite the calm he felt, his heart that once would have absorbed every touch, every image and commited it to memory rebelled. He broke the kiss and looked down at the woman he held in his arms. In his fervor the edge of her robe had slipped, exposing an unnaturally white shoulder. When he lifted his eyes, instead of Kikyou, Kagome's face filled his vision. A cold, dreadful feeling touched him and seemed to settle in his very soul. No.... This is wrong.

Kikyo saw the look in InuYasha's eyes, sensed his hesitation. Fixing her robe, she pulled back a little. Then she heard it. InuYasha's ear twitched as he also registered the small, almost unnoticable whisper of leaves. He fixed his eyes behind Kikyou and saw her.

The sable eyes were the window to her heart that was now broken. And yet, where there should have been surprise there was none. The icy feeling that had crawled into him dug in with talons. Not looking at the undead miko, he released himself from her and walked towards the girl in the shadows.

"Kagome..." He reached out to her.

Before she turned to flee, a barely discernable gasp of breath escaped her mouth, yet seemed to pound in InuYasha's ears. He started to quicken his step to catch her, then remebered he had left another still standing in the clearing. InuYasha turned, only to see Kikyou rising into the clouds with the assistance of her shikigami.

"I have no need of you." Her words were hard, cold and deliberatley cruel.

InuYasha was confused. Why was Kikyou this way? The noise of Kagome quickly increasing the distance between them demanded his attention. He turned and headed for the girl, knowing, and yet not knowing, what he had done.

Kikyou watched his retreating back. She would have to return to the stone fortress. She had done the best should could to drive the couple apart. Now that hated youkai could remove the cursed soul collector, although she doubted that he would hand over the jewel shards. A sadness swept over her as she recalled the look in the hanyou's eyes as he had held her. And then the emotions that had swept through him when he had seen the other girl. Her reincarnation.

Inuyasha, you cling to wraith of a feeling and call it love, fleshing it out with long-dead memories. I am not a woman, but a creature of clay and bone. Do you not see what is in front of you? Have you truly become so unable to realize what true love is?

A new feeling, one that she was unfamiliar with since being brought back from the dead came upon her. So strange was it, she had to take a moment to analyze it and give it a name. Her dead-brown eyes widened slightly when she realized what it was. Guilt.