A Question Of Honor

A/N: Guys, I am so sorry, but writer's block is a real bitch. I wanted to get this chapter right and I think that I did. The story will be coming to an end soon, but for now, please review.

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It was all she could do to not scream. Over the past several days, she made many decisions and knew that nothing she ever did would even begin to make up for her part in what happened to Kagome. Kagome was raped, and she had a hand in it, even though at the time, she had only wanted Kagome out of the way. The reasons for wanting her out of the way no longer mattered. Nothing mattered except paying retribution.

As she stood in the small hut, the others now gone to the palace that Sesshomaru was now currently occupying, she glanced over at the corner and slowly walked towards her weapon. It was hard to tell if she was doing this out of some perverse duty of revenge, or if she were doing this to alleviate her tormenting guilt.

She held the large bone boomerang in her hands and thought about all of her training. Her father once told her that in this life, nothing was certain. That you had to take what you were dealt and now, she would have to deal with her actions and those of her companions.

“I know you.” A male voice said, his tone soft. Sango whipped around and came face to face with her brother, her Kohaku.

“You don't want to know me, Kohaku. Not anymore.” She said, her voice stronger than it had ever been.

The young man shrugged. “What you did was wrong. You played right into Naraku's hands and now, you have to pay for it. Tell me, if you could go back in time, what would you have done?” He asked, his dark eyes trained upon hers.

Sighing, she dropped down onto the bed and shook her head. “I would like to think that I would not have left her behind. I would like to think that instead of turning my back, I protected her. Sadly, I can't change that and now all I can do is spend my life paying for my mistakes.”

“You can't change the past, that much is true. But, you can change the future, you know.” Kohaku said, his eyes wandering over the room.

Wrinkling her brow, she stood up and walked towards her brother. “What do you mean by that? And, why aren't you trying to kill me?” She demanded, her hands on her hips.

The boy simply shrugged. “I know what I did to them, the other slayers. I know that one of them was a man that I called father. I have to live with that. Naraku has decided that I needed to be reminded that he holds the power to make me forget, and should I disobey him, he will turn my memories loose, but what he doesn't know is that I have already been seeing memories and have come to accept my part. Both of us have a very long battle ahead, but perhaps we can help each other.” He suggested.

Before she could answer him, Kohaku walked over to her pack and opened it. He pulled out her former uniform and threw it at her. “Slayers do not quit. We can't. It's not our way, and both of us has to remember the road before we were led astray. You can't make things up to your friend, but you can help those who are unable to help themselves. You can redeem yourself by fighting and providing protection. You can start with Kagura.”

“Kagura!” Sango exclaimed. “Why in the hell would you want me to protect her?”

“Because, like me, she cannot help but obey Naraku. She is the one who gave Kikyo information that would help Lord Sesshomaru. Now, she is being beaten every single time Naraku feels the urge. Kanna has taken much of his power away from him by stealing back hers and Kagura's hearts, but now we need to get Kagura out of there. Will you please help me?” Kohaku asked, his body rigid. He didn't know why, but he knew this woman would not refuse him. She seemed familiar; she seemed like home. Yes, she would help.

Sango bit her lip and glanced down at her hands. The pink and black uniform proclaimed her as a slayer. It was time to start slaying again.

“Yes, Kohaku. I will help you rescue Kagura.” Sango said, her determination clear in her eyes.
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Kouga growled loudly as he came upon the red head. Ayame was not any happier to see him, but she did not return his growl. Instead, she shook her head and said, “Your former pack is now being led by Noki. So far, things seem to be calm.”

Kouga snorted. “Noki couldn't lead a hunting party, so how in the hell is he supposed to lead a pack?” he demanded.

“Noki has really changed. Everyone changes, Kouga. You've changed and so have I. So has Kagome. Tell me, what have you done to make amends?” Ayame asked, her green eyes staring up into his blue.

Kouga opened his mouth to reply, but quickly snapped it shut. Actually, he couldn't think of a damn thing he had done, with the exception of bitching. He glanced over at Ayame and saw her nod.

“Just as I thought. You are so involved in your own matters that you have not even begun to think of ways to make your situation better. Has it ever occurred to you that maybe the way to start healing both you and Kagome is for you to simply say, “I'm sorry for what I did to you?” Did you ever think that maybe Kagome needs to hear you apologize? She may not accept it, but at least she knows how you feel. Then, you can at least move on and so can she.” Ayame said.

Kouga bit his lip. He had just thought that Kagome didn't need to see him, to be reminded about what happened. His gaze shifted to Ayame when the female wolf stood up.

“Let me guess, you thought that if you left it alone, it would simply go away. Well, it isn't going away, Kouga. It isn't going to get better, nor is it going to solve itself. You have to start somewhere, and you had better do it soon. You never know how long you have to make things up and when the person is yanked away forever, then it is too late.” Ayame said, as she turned to walk away.

Kouga watched her walk away and then moved to sit down upon the log she just vacated. He wanted to apologize. He honestly did. But, her guardians would not allow him to get near her. But, what if he simply ignored them? What if he went around them? After all, he was extremely fast before the shards, and he was still pretty quick.

His blue eyes widened as a familiar scent caught his nose. Growling, he stood up and turned, only to be staring down into the lifeless eyes of Naraku's void, Kanna.

The little girl held out her mirror and watched as Kouga took a defensive stance. But, instead of sucking out his soul, she whispered, “Watch and learn.”

Kouga watched images in the mirror and when the show was over, he felt his knees shaking. “Are you sure?” He asked.

Nodding, Kanna whispered, “He desires the miko because she is the only female who did not break. The fact she still has her power tells me that she is the greatest threat to Naraku's survival and he wants to be the one to break her so that none will question his power.”

“Why are you helping me?” Kouga demanded. His blue eyes narrowed dangerously as the young girl stood before him, her eyes moving towards the palace.

“We are family. Family doesn't do the things that Naraku does to me and Kagura. We are a part of him and he hurts us. He is hurting my sister because she is the easiest target. I want it to stop.” She explained, her voice soft.

“So, the void does feel after all.” Kouga mused. “Alright, you help me and I will help you. I have an apology to make and need you to distract her guards.”

Kanna slowly nodded. “Agreed. But, after this war is over, you let go of your vendetta against Kagura.”

Kouga growled, but nodded. “Agreed.” The little female moved towards the palace, with the wolf in tow and allowed a very rare smile to cross her lips. Finally, Naraku was going to get what he so richly deserved.

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Inu Yasha sat on the log and watched the calm water of the little stream. Ever since that horrible day, his life was nothing. He knew it. Even now, he would reach up to touch the rosary beads, and to his great disappointment, they were no longer there. Kagome set him free and broke the bond that they shared, all because he failed her. He was always failing her.

From the first moment they met, Kagome did things to him that not even Kikyo did, but when Kikyo returned, and he learned that they had been made fools of by Naraku, he shoved Kagome aside and ran after the dead miko, hoping to rekindle some sort of relationship with her.

Kagome always stayed. She waited until he was gone to shed her tears, and though he could smell them when he returned, he told himself that he simply could not allow Kikyo to be alone. It should have been Kagome to whom he was running to. Kikyo could defend herself and was already dead, but Kagome was alive and flesh. She needed him and every single time, he spit in her face and ran away.

He never met the old man, but he was sure that his father would have beaten the living hell out of him for what happened to Kagome. He was at fault and he knew it. Hell, he couldn't even blame Kikyo. Had he done what he should have, he would have protected Kagome from Kikyo's lies and saved her from the torment that she was living now.

He knew Sesshomaru. His older brother would never allow Kagome to return to her own time. Pack protects pack, and it was clear in the way he guarded Kagome that Sesshomaru felt that Kagome was his alpha female.

Despite everything, he still loved Kagome. He loved her so much that the memory of carrying her into the water and washing her wounds made his youkai start howling for justice. But, the most painful thing was the removal of his beads. She was hurting and she granted him freedom; a freedom that he wanted at first, but now hated with all of his being. Being free meant being locked away from Kagome. Forever.

He looked down at his beloved sword and sighed. Tetsusaiga would not transform. It hadn't transformed since the day of Kagome's attack. It was as if the sword knew what part he had in Kagome's attack and was now punishing him for it. His friends were now scattered. Sango stayed behind at the cottage, Miroku was off doing his thing, and Kouga was wandering through the woods. He hated being alone. He hated not having someone to talk to.

However, all the self-pity in the world wasn't going to solve the problem. He needed to seek shelter before it started to rain and had passed a small cave about a mile back. He would go there and stay dry for the night. Then, when morning came, he would start all over. Tomorrow, he would begin the journey to right this horrible wrong. He was going to find Naraku and deliver his head to Kagome, even if she refused to forgive him.

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Miroku sat beside the small fire and watched as the rain poured down in heavy sheets. He needed to take a break due to the fact that he had been hiking all day long, seeking information about Naraku. One lead sounded promising, but he wasn't going to get his hopes up.

As the fire flickered, his violet eyes narrowed and he began to think about all that happened. With Kagome defiled and gone, the group fell apart. He didn't speak to Sango anymore, didn't grope or hit on her, and that was because each time he looked at her, he could see and hear everything that was said that day.

He and Inu Yasha were hardly talking. Both knew that as the males, they should have been the ones to protect and defend Kagome, even from Kikyo. They knew that the dead miko really didn't care for her reincarnation,but neither of them dreamed that she could do such a horrible thing as to set Kagome up to be raped.

His father would surely have disowned. Hentai as he was, he always told his son that it was important to remain a gentleman to the gentler sex. “Women must be handled with soft hands and soothing words.” His father advised, his eyes twinkling. “Women love gentlemen. So, Miroku, when you approach a woman, treat her as if she were the most important being on the planet to you and she will bless you with paradise.”

Of course, his father got slapped more than he got to go to paradise, but irregardless, his father would not have tolerated the actions that he made on that fateful day.

When he heard a loud cough, he glanced up and saw Inu Yasha stumble into the cave. The hanyou glanced at him, as droplets of water ran down his face and then shook himself off. Neither spoke, but Miroku moved over a bit to allow room for Inu Yasha to sit beside the fire.

After a half hour of silence, Inu Yasha chuckled and said, “You know, I never realized just how much this group needed Kagome. I never thought of her as the mortar for our group, but she was what held us together.”

It was the first time Miroku heard Inu Yasha refer to Kagome in an affectionate way. “Indeed. It was her compassion and laughter that kept up our hopes.” Miroku agreed. “It still amazes me that she was able to claim Shippo and control him as a mother would. When she has children, she is going to be an amazing mother.”

“If she is ever able to have them.” Inu Yasha softly replied. Miroku allowed his eyes to fall to the fire and he said, “I have heard a rumor that Naraku is close by. Apparently, he has learned how to mask his scent and got into the palace.”

Inu Yasha growled. “Is Kagome safe?” He demanded, his golden eyes flashing angrily. “Did the bastard hurt her?”

Miroku shook his head. “Inu Yasha, the rumors say that it was a puppet that was sent to test the security of the palace and it was confronted and destroyed.”

Snorting, Inu Yasha leaned back. “Good. Those baka guardians of Kagome's finally did something right.” He said, his eyes closing.

“It wasn't her guardians and before you ask, it wasn't Sesshomaru-Sama, either. Inu Yasha, Kagome is still able to purify. She is still the shikon miko and has proven it at least twice.” Miroku said, his eyes straying over to his companion. “And now, Naraku knows that she still has her power.”

Inu Yasha bit his lip and turned to look at the pouring rain. If Naraku knew about Kagome, he would surely do his best to repeat his earlier attack and try harder to destroy her power. He would not allow that to happen. He would stand before Naraku and fight him, even if he had to unleash his youkai. If he had to die, he would take Naraku with him.

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Kagome watched as the rain fell upon the window and nodded absently when the maid asked if the fire was to her liking. Once she was alone, she reflected on the events from the past couple of days.

She remembered waking up and in Balthazar's arms. At first, she was confused as to why he was holding her and was still suffering from exhaustion, but then she remembered seeing him in the hot spring with that maid and that made her stiffen.

“Aye, ye are still angry with me.” Balthazar softly said, his breath hot upon her ear. “Ye hae all the right, but donna pull away from me. I dinna think ye would come tae the spring, and I dinna wish to make ye uncomfortable.”

Nodding slowly, she turned and looked down at the floor. “It's my fault. I should have knocked or not made such a big deal. I'm sorry, Balthazar.” She whispered.

The dark inu's eyes grew soft and he placed a sharp-nailed finger beneath her chin. “In me land, 'tis natural for a male to tup often, even more so if the male is a warrior. 'Tis also considered good luck to tup a lass before a battle fer good luck. Ye hae nothin' tae be sorry for, lass. 'Tis I who should be apologizin' tae ye.”

Now, as she snuggled down in her bed, she could swear that she could still smell Balthazar's unique scent, but her mind began to move towards Lord Sesshomaru.

Lord Sesshomaru and Conner had been in the war counsel for nearly two days, and she was wondering what they were planning. Neither male had come to visit her, and it was Payton who had become her regular companion, especially since Balthazar said that he had heard of some rumors that he wished to check out.

Payton was a great conversationalist. He told her stories about his land and it was during one of these conversations that she finally asked him why it was that he was never seen with a woman.

Payton regarded her quietly before replying. “I was mated, in secret, tae a human lass. She was beautiful, but her da dinna wish for her tae be seen with me. When he found out, he killed her in anger and I was the one tae kill him. Ye see, lass, me wife had been pregnant, and her da knew it, but killed her anyways. He dinna want a half-breed pup in his family.”

Kagome paled as Payton's sorrow filled her senses. His eyes had filled with tears and he quickly turned his head, not wanting her to see his pain. Kagome didn't need to see his eyes to know that he was hurting, so she leaned over and wrapped her arms around his lean waist, her face pressing against his chest and just held him.

Payton looked down at the wee lass and allowed his arms to slowly wrap around her. He rested his head against hers and allowed the tears that he had been holding to flow, and mourned for his sweet Morgain. He realized that while she was giving him comfort, she was also taking comfort in him and he would not deny her.

As they held each other, both taking from the other a silent support that only friends can give, Balthazar stood just beyond the door, guarding the pair during a time when all they needed was peace.

As he stood in the corridor, Ewan came bouncing down the hall and gave him a grin. “Conner sent me tae find all the lads. We're goin' tae war!” He announced.

Balthazar's fangs lengthened and he nodded solemnly. Finally, he would get his chance to avenge Kagome and he would be the one to present her with Naraku's head, as a mating present.

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Sesshomaru stood at the window and allowed his eyes to narrow. The day finally arrived. Soon, they would be marching into battle with Naraku and then it would all be over. Once the world was rid of Naraku's filth, he and Kagome could move on, and without her annoying guardians. The only problem with that, though, was that Kagome was so damn attached to the foreign youkai.

He did have to admit that Conner was a very cunning fighter. He was gifted in war tactics, and easily changed plans when it suited him. But, he was also very arrogant. He walked around the palace as if he owned the place. It was true that he was a lord in his own land, but he was no longer in Scotland. Now, the annoying lord was in Japan, his land. Here, he had the final word, and his final word was that Kagome was his.

When Jaken knocked on the door, Sesshomaru turned slightly to regard his vassal. “My lord, is there anything wrong? Is there something this lowly Jaken can do for you?” Jaken squeaked, all to familiar with his lord's moods.

Sesshomaru turned his back upon the pathetic toad and said, “Today is a day for regrets, Jaken. By tomorrow, regretting will be too late.”

Jaken cocked his head to the side. He wanted to ask his lord what he meant, but somehow, he knew that his lord was referring to Lady Kagome. Nodding, he watched as his lord waved his hand, dismissing him and quickly left the room.

As he walked, Jaken began to think about his actions before realizing the truth in his lord's words and soon found himself at a door. Taking in a deep breath, he knocked and when it opened, he paled as he looked into the dark eyes of Lady Kagome. He could not think of the words to say to explain his behavior, but if he were going to die in the coming battle, he wanted her to at least know what he felt. He needed her to know what was in his heart, and even if she didn't believe him, he had to say the words to her.

“Lady Kagome, I am sorry.”