Redemption

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, etc. This story is for entertainment purposes only.

REDEMPTION

Summary: Specters of the past bring forth questions for the future. Can she save his soul, or will he wander forever in darkness?

WORDS

okaa-san - mother (Japanese)
geas - a duty or unbreakable obligation laid on one by another (English)

WARNING! DARK IMAGERY AND ADULT TOPICS, BAD WORDS AND SPOILERS (EPISODE 122+)

A/N - I checked out Japanese high school graduation ceremonies and almost fell over with surprise. Japanese students graduate in March, and resume school in April. They have “trimesters” and go through the ceremony, though it’s rather short. Works for me, and it matches the timeline I had with this story. Yay. Convenient, that. (Fate)

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

“You’re back early, Kagome.” Miroku greeted the returning miko with a smile that could charm the socks off any woman. A smile that probably had charmed the socks---among other items---off many a woman.

“Took ya damn long enough.” Inuyasha growled, crossed fists in his wide sleeves.

Kagome scowled. To think she had come back early for that damn mutt, just because she was missing him! Exams had finished early for the senior year students, and while all of her friends had chatted excitedly about spending the last week before graduation in parties and various planned vacations, Kagome could only think of having a couple of extra days to come back here, to the Warring States Era. She had promised and promised and promised again that she would return in time for the graduation ceremony; she knew her okaa-san would be really hurt and disappointed if she missed out on watching her daughter receive a diploma. Bad enough Kagome intended to skip college; she had no real reason to go. Her life was here, in feudal Japan.

Here, with Inuyasha.

Brown eyes softening, she grabbed hold of his sleeves and yanked him into her arms.

“Hey! What the---” She cut him off with a kiss, and Miroku sighed, thinking just how lucky that stupid dog was.

“They sure kiss a lot,” Shippo observed with disgust.

Miroku looked down at his feet in surprise. “Oh, hello there, Shippo.”

The kitsune folded his arms across his chest and glared at the entwined couple. “So does this mean we’re not going shard-hunting again?”

“Whaddya mean, brat?” Inuyasha scowled over Kagome’s shoulder.

“Inuyasha.” Kagome drawled out the hanyou’s name with exasperation. The inu’s white ears flattened against his silver mane and he gave his mate a measuring look. Kagome didn’t look pissed enough to want to ‘sit’ him, but he didn’t want to take any chances.

Distracting her might work. “Sango’s not here.”

“What?” Kagome blinked in confusion.

“She went home to her village for a few days.” Miroku sat gingerly on the edge of well.

“She thought you’d be gone longer, Kagome.” Shippo added, his bright smile declaring that he, for one, was glad the miko wasn’t.

“Well, then, we should go fetch her.” Inuyasha said testily, as if that would solve the dilemma. “Besides, there hasn’t been much activity around here, and no word on any potential Jewel shards. Maybe we can catch some sign of ’em if we start looking over there.”

“It has been awhile since we hunted there.” Miroku added thoughtfully.

*Come to think of it, it’s been awhile since we came across any Jewel shards. A long while.* Kagome thought to herself, her brow furrowing. She tried counting up how many weeks it had been, and realized that, bar her short jaunt back to the family shrine, it had been more than a month since last they followed some rumor that had actually been more than just loose talk. *Why, the last shard we actually found was from that old weasel demon. That was almost five weeks ago!*

Funny how she hadn’t realized until now how much time had actually passed. But then, she had had a lot to distract her. Inuyasha was good at that…

Blushing a little at her thoughts, Kagome hid her embarrassment by digging the small glass bottle from out of her pocket. Idly pulling out a ponytail tie and a wrinkled stick of gum---which she handed to a gleeful Shippo---she frowned at the small bottle, which sparkled in the weak sunlight.

“What is it, Kagome?” Inuyasha had caught the bottle’s flash.

“It’s full.” Kagome said, more to herself. She hadn’t realized just how many shards they had managed to gather together. There was hardly any room left inside the glass. They were packed in so tight, they didn’t even shift when she shook the bottle gently.

Counting up the various shapes and their accumulation, which had started with the two in Kouga’s legs---the wolf demon had handed them over in the stunned aftermath of Naraku’s defeat, when the dark hanyou had shattered the Shikon no Tama into a hundred more pieces just for pure spite---Kagome came to a surprising total.

*Why, there must be a good third of the original Jewel in there!*

The thought made her blink. But then she had to blink again, because she suddenly seemed to be surrounded by an aura of pale blue light, which enfolded her stunned vision in a purity so welcoming it brought unconscious tears to her eyes. A soft voice, strung with the blended harmonies of a hundred souls all singing in one bountiful chorus, whispered softly, :Come, child. You are needed. Return to the caves in which the Jewel was first bound. Your friend needs you.:

The voice gently receded, as did the luminescent light, leaving Kagome with a sense of urgency even as her body slowly folded, her mind still caught up in that incredible vision. Inuyasha was quick to catch her in his arms, and he was caught by a stab of fear as she blinked up at him, her face pale and her brown eyes wide.

“Kagome? What the hell just happened? Kagome!” The hanyou shook her, not so gentle in his worry.

“Inuyasha…” Kagome managed to whisper. White claws tenderly brushed the black whorls of her bangs off of her cheek. Kagome struggled to speak, shaken by that brief experience. How could she explain it? For she had just been gods-touched, and it had left her oddly heartbroken, wanting to feel that perfect blend of balance and sanctity once more. But she had to ignore that ethereal feeling, and focus on her poor mate, who was staring at her with anxious amber eyes. “Inuyasha, we must leave. We must…Sango…”

“Sango?” Inuyasha’s brows came down.

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“You’re weird, you know that, kid?” Bankotsu cocked a black brow in the little girl’s direction.

The white wraith of the Void sat back on her heels with her hands folded primly upon her lap. The small, half-split Jewel winked sullenly between her small, white hands. When Bankotsu had refused to take it from her, Kanna had merely stepped across the small room and set herself down on the tatami-matted floor as one invited.

“So. You have nothing to say, eh?” Bankotsu prompted from his own sprawling seat upon his abandoned sleeping mat, sake jug poised over an empty saucer.

Kanna simply looked at him, her black eyes fathomless.

“Gods, you’re weird.” Shaking his head, Bankotsu quaffed the filled saucer in one swallow. Wiping the back of his hand across his mouth, he leaned back against the wall to match the girl stare for stare.

Impatience won out over endurance. “Why the hell are you here, ghost-girl? Did Naraku send you?”

“Naraku is dead.” The girl said, her voice as soft and casual as if she were speaking of the weather. Man, what a freaky kid.

“That wind-chick, then. Did she send you?” Bankotsu demanded.

“Kagura is dead, as well.” Those steady black eyes and that frozen mask of a little girl’s face were sure giving him the creeps. Wait---did she say the wind sorceress was dead? Then, were all of Naraku’s incarnations dead?

“I am the only one left.” Was there a hint of sadness in the girl’s soft voice? No, it couldn’t be. She was the Void, after all. The Void felt nothing, was nothing. It was beyond the reckoning of heaven or hell, beyond the ken of gods or man. It was a separate force, one that existed outside of man’s realms.

He should know, his soul had fled there to sleep suspended in time as his body withered in the muddied earth, twice killed and twice buried.

And twice unknowing and unbelieving in any other world outside of this earthly one…

“What do you want, kid?” Bankotsu asked, tired of this game.

“The shards in your body. They are untainted.” Kanna commented, dark eyes empty pools in the flickering candlelight.

His shoulders twitched. “Yeah. So?”

Her eyes seemed to widen, as if she looked through him. Bankotsu stirred, uneasy under that penetrating gaze. It felt like the kid was stripping him of his clothing, was trying to see what lay beneath. What a disgusting thought.

“You carry more shards, but do not use them.” She said, dropping from that strange, double-visioned trance.

Instinctively reaching for the small silk bag he carried inside his blue-splashed kimono, close to his money belt, Bankotsu stopped at the last minute. “What’s all this about, kid? You’re starting to really annoy me with all this weird shit.”

She regarded him for a long moment before replying vaguely, “The Jewel must be made whole, the wound healed.”

*What the hell is that supposed to mean?*

“You’re making no sense, kid.” He growled, blue eyes darkening with irritation. Kami, he needed a drink. Reaching for the handy jug, he splashed another good spot of cheap sake into the saucer.

“It was I who summoned you, Bankotsu. Summoned you for this.” The girl held out the melded half-sphere of the tainted Jewel in her hand.

“What?” He nearly choked on the sake, which burned its way down his throat. His blue eyes grew ominous as they narrowed on the small white figure, who returned his dark gaze with mild indifference.

“It was I who gathered your bones together under the destroyed rubble of Mount Hakurei and used the three Jewel shards to bring you back to life.” Kanna replied with the same stoic calm she used with everything, untouched as she was by human emotions.

“By Naraku’s orders. That’s what you told me.” If she was expecting gratitude, she wouldn’t get it. The kid had always acted on the dark hanyou’s behalf, probably the only one who had ever given that half-monster baboon their unquestioning loyalty.

“I spoke not the truth.” There was a flicker of---something---in the black eyes that regarded him so steadily.

“Huh?” Bankotsu stared down at her in shock.

“I lied.” She said, as if that were oh-so-helpful.

But that meant that the girl must have acted on her own. Or that something else had ordered her to revive him, and might have some unknown intentions to use him in some strange way, and he didn’t like it.

Not one bit.

His hands fumbled for the jug of sake, and he didn’t bother with the saucer this time. Hefting the jug to his lips, he gulped down a good bit of anesthesia before letting it fall. Wiping his hand across his mouth again, he finally turned his narrowed blue eyes on her and gritted out, “Why?”

The half-sphered bauble in the child’s cupped hands gleamed sullenly, the fuchsia swirls glinting in the flickering candlelight as if the Jewel had a life and mind of its own. Which it did---if one counted the souls of the dead miko and angry demons imprisoned within. One half pure, the other utter darkness.

“The balance must be restored,” was the girl’s enigmatic reply.

Bankotsu scowled. “Just what is that supposed to mean, kid?”

“The Jewel must be made whole, the wound healed.” She repeated the line like an idiot, or one mouthing words she did not understand. Her black eyes were bottomless pools in the pale flower of her face.

Empty pools of unrelieved darkness.

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The limestone caverns of a miko’s last tomb seemed to glow with an unshielded light of raw energy. Swirling blue veils wrapped themselves across the entrance, shimmering with eddies of sanctified power. The spirits within that empty cave were restless, calling out to those who might hear. The miko’s spirit was quiescent, and the demons trapped beside her pulsed with growing disquiet.

All was not lost, though. They still might yet tip the balance in their favor. The majority of the miko’s crystalline heart was yet engulfed with the powers of darkness and the sour taint of hate and anger, jealousy and bitterness, persuasively evil…

Sending out their own venomous persuasion, they searched for one that they might claim, one who they could turn and twist to their use. A menacing tendril of rotting influence, they spread themselves forth, questing, questing…

Atop the mountainous hill, a young woman stirred restlessly in her sleep, the dried tears on her cheeks testament to a sadness so deep it was only unleashed in the bitterness of churned dreams. The darkness hid her sorrow, even to herself, but the glowing red eyes of a watchful neko stood guard. The seething tendril of demonic seeking could not touch there, and exploit the girl’s weakened spirit for themselves. The neko hissed, sensing there ominous presence, and they retreated with angry hisses of their own.

All was not yet lost, however. There were others, weaker of spirit and not immune to their call. All they needed was one, weak of spirit and bitter of life, angry at fate and forsaken by the gods. One who was easy prey for their dark manipulation.

When the soul is empty, there is much that can fill it…

1313131313131313

“You and I are not of this earth.”

Bankotsu flinched beneath that unwavering gaze. *Not of this earth…*

How well he knew that phrase, knew what it meant and knew what it cost him. True life and living, a love forever denied, because he was not of this earth, did not truly belong here and could never be wholly part of this world. His life was not his own, but a gift given to him by the gods.

A gift that could be easily recalled.

“I brought you back so that you might destroy the Jewel.” The child said, her demeanor one of unruffled calm, though not of peace or serenity. There was nothing about her that spoke of gods or men. She was as one separate, apart and untouched by the world around her. The Void of nothingness, untouched and unmoved, and yet still there.

“What do you mean?” Bankotsu slumped against the wall, feeling somehow defeated, and yet a spark of irritation had him scowling at the recurrent question.

“The balance must be restored.” Yet another cryptic repetition, and he was getting damned tired of it.

Gritting his teeth, he snapped, “Get to the fucking point, kid.”

“It’s power grows too great.” Her fingers lightly caressed the sullen Jewel in her lap. “The Dark One gave it too much anger. The evil in this world has grown because of him.”

Gods, she was irritating! “The Dark One?”

“My creator. Naraku,” she murmured. “He was foolish to have called me from the Void. He did not know what it was that he did.”

“And what the fuck did he do?” Bankotsu nearly snarled.

“He sought power beyond his ability. He sought total control over heaven and hell, and all beside and between.” She smiled, as if she relived some faint memory. “He was foolish, and overstepped himself.”

“What does that have to do with the price of rice in Bangladesh? He’s dead, ain’t he?” Bankotsu’s fist slammed down into the disturbed blankets around him. Perhaps he beat against fate, which was wrapping itself around him in dark tentacles, preparing him for something he didn’t at all like or really want to know. Anger seethed within him as foreboding iced his veins. The girl was too calm, too withdrawn, too uncaring. Her concerns were not for men or mortals, but for intangible inevitability.

Lashing out, he snarled, “Besides, it didn’t seem like you hated him all that much. You served him, didn’t you?”

“He thought I served him, but I served another purpose.” Kanna replied with mild disdain. “As if I, we, the Void, could ever be so harnessed.”

It hit him, suddenly. “The destruction of the Shikon no Tama. That’s what you wanted. That’s why you served him, or pretended to, or whatever.”

She nodded, that faint smile almost chilling.

Wrinkling his nose and lips in a condescending sneer, Bankotsu demanded, “What made you think that Naraku would destroy the Jewel of Four Souls? He wanted it whole, so that he could use its power for himself! You can’t be that stupid!”

Her laugh was acidic. Perhaps the Void had emotions after all, if only scathing contempt for a man’s limited understanding. “It does not matter to us how the Jewel is destroyed. Used for ultimate evil or ultimate good, the Jewel will dissolve and cease to exist. That is something few understand or even comprehend. Naraku didn’t, and neither did or do the reincarnated priestesses, Kikyo and Kagome. They believe that the Jewel will only disappear if a truly selfless wish, one full of good intent, were made upon it. That is not so. A wish of true evil would destroy the Jewel just as much as one of true purity.”

Bankotsu could only stare at her.

The small child-form of the Void went on, blithely unconcerned with his growing astonishment. “Naraku had the potential to make that wish, to finally destroy the Shikon no Tama for all time.”

She looked at him then, almost coquettishly. “And so did you.”

“What…” Bankotsu felt an icy stab of fear deep in his gut. He had to swallow the dryness from his throat. “What do you mean?”

“It was why I revived you, Bankotsu. With Naraku gone, there was no one else I could think of who could be influenced enough by the dark demons trapped inside the Jewel to use it for his own personal gain. One with enough lack of understanding and uncontained passion to turn a simple wish into something truly destructive. Your convictions, while misguided, carried great weight in your heart. You had great passion, and little restraint. The anger burned into your soul at the betrayal of men…your driven need for strength and rejection of weaker emotion…your belief that nothing existed beyond this world…your very forsaking of the gods in the face of bitterness and betrayal---all of that would have driven you to the point where nothing would have held you back from making the ultimate sacrifice to gain true strength. There is that which is in most men which fears the greatest touch of power, even as he desires it. You had the potential to not only seek that power, but to not care.”

Bankotsu shivered. All that the child of the Void said rang true; he knew it deep down inside, where he could not lie even to himself. But he had changed, he was not the angry, bitter man he had been…

“Something interfered, however. You have changed, and I believe it could only be by her hand that it was done. The priestess---Midoriko.” Kanna came as close as she ever could to displaying disgust. Perhaps it was simply impatience. “That miko is misguided by her faith. She entraps herself for eternity by believing that only a pure wish should be made upon the Jewel, that that is the only acceptable way in which the Shikon no Tama should be destroyed.”

Something nagged at him, and his eyes darkened as a whisper of anger stirred at the insidious thought. “But the wish made upon the Jewel, the one that has power enough to break it, won’t it be granted? Won’t it come true? Won’t that very granting be the thing that finally destroys it? The Jewel?”

“Yes,” Kanna replied with casual disinterest.

“But---” Bankotsu still could not believe how uncaring she seemed, how indifferent. “But a dark wish strong enough to dissolve the Jewel, wouldn’t that result in releasing an evil far worse than the Jewel itself?”

“Perhaps.” She smiled faintly, as if his demands amused to her. “But it would eventually fail. The Shikon no Tama lives on because of Midoriko’s fervor. It will not die unless it is completely destroyed. If a wish of true evil was the one to do it, then perhaps the Dark would gain the upper hand against the Light for a while. Eventually, though, the Balance between them would be restored.”

*But what about in the meantime? Does it not matter to her?*

Could it matter to her? She was the Void, after all, one truly untouched by the cares of men.

She seemed to follow his harried thoughts. “We are beyond gods or men. We are Other---separate from that which is good and evil. We are Balance, and we are Nothing. It does not matter to us that this world might be kept or destroyed. We only seek the balance of Order and Chaos. Right and wrong do not concern us---could never concern us.”

Ice stilled Bankotsu’s soul in dawning dread at her words. For she showed her true nature, her true lack of interest with that strange intermingling of ‘I’ and ‘we’ and twisting explanation. A nature which was more frightening in its way than even the most foul demons of hell.

Because she---she was far worse than they could ever be. She was Indifference.

It seemed as if she did follow his thoughts---though maybe they were writ plain upon his face, for he was beyond being able to control his emotional reaction to her casual disdain.

“It does not matter to us, how the Jewel is destroyed. Whether by good or evil, it makes no difference. The paths of Darkness are just easier to pursue than those of the Light. Helping one to make a truly evil wish on the Jewel was just less effort. But Naraku proved too weak, and was thus defeated, and you, my second choice, have been turned by the miko into a conviction of faith.”

She could not keep the mild disgust from her voice, as if Midoriko’s interference put her out.

“Sorry to disappoint you.” Irony was lost on her, she merely stared back at him with those unfathomable black eyes.

“I have not said that you were not still the one to do it.”

She startled him. Eyes narrowing, his hands tightened into fists as he snarled, “You think I could be turned to anger so easily?”

The faint, mocking smile was back.

With great deliberation, he let the anger go. Finger by gripping finger, he unclenched his fists, relaxing his body and closing his eyes. He sought that inner rightness that had fueled him and helped him, that had granted him the strength to walk away from the only woman he could ever love on this earth, and set her free of his half-life of tainted existence. She did not deserve the pain and bittersweet love of one who did not truly belong on this earth…

“The Jewel must be made whole, the wound healed.” Kanna interrupted his wandering thoughts with that inane line, and although he might have released his seething fury, he could not banish how gods-be-damned irritating she was.

“Back to that, are we?” He opened his eyes with a dark scowl.

“The separate Jewel shards must be fused together and made whole. The wish must be made, and the heart returned from whence it came. The wound in Midoriko’s chest---where the Jewel burst forth into existence by her last, dying prayer---must be healed, and the Shikon no Tama forever destroyed.” The girl finally explained her cryptic nonsense, and added coaxingly, “You are the only one who can do this, Bankotsu.”

“What?” Bankotsu glared at her. “I thought I was too pure now to make an evil wish upon the Jewel.”

“You are.”

“Then what the fuck do you mean, bitch?”

It hit him then, just exactly what the Void meant, and he froze at the hideous revelation.

*She means that I am the only one right now who can make a truly selfless wish on the Jewel. That I am the only one who can put the Shikon no Tama back together, because I will have to give up my Jewel shards to do it, and if I do that…then I will die.*

He shuddered. The shards in his body were the only things keeping him alive. If he sacrificed them, he sacrificed himself.

*I don’t want to die. Not again. Not now. Not now that I have just begun to know life, just begun to truly understand this world. Oh, gods! Is this what You ask of me? That I give up everything, as I have given up her? Kami, help me…*

By this sacrifice, by this giving up of one, meager life---he would save hundreds, if not thousands, of others. For with his own sacrifice, it would be the one, truly selfless wish that was needed to destroy that dark bauble that had caused so much pain and misery.

Could he do it? Did he have the strength to do it?

For her, maybe. For her peace and happiness. For with the destruction of the Jewel, then she would be finally free to pursue a true life, instead of a continuing journey of wandering hardship and unimaginable danger. She would not have to fight anymore, and might even find true happiness with one she could love without fear.

Perhaps she could find that daimyo, that Korny-Sake or whatever his name was. That one who had claimed that he loved her, and would wait for her, no matter how long it took…

The thought hurt him, and the pain flashed deep in his twilit eyes.

*Sango…*

Gods, it hurt. Gods, did it hurt.

But what hurt worse was the thought that she would be forever denied true peace.

Fists tightening upon his thighs, he ground his teeth together and bowed his head. His voice was hoarse, his whisper harsh. “I’ll do it.”

The wraith-child of the Void was not capable of smug conceit. She merely nodded her acquiescence, and said softly, “You must journey to the tomb of Midoriko in the limestone caverns beneath the demon slayers’ village. There, you will meet the young priestess Kagome, who carries the rest of the Jewel’s shards in a glass vial. You must stand before the statue of Midoriko and wish for the Jewel to be made whole, and your life as forfeit. Your sacrifice will ensure the Jewel’s destruction.”

He gave her a rather petulant scowl. He didn’t particularly like how self-assured she was, or how much she took his agreement for granted. She seemed to have thought of everything, including his own ready compliance. Smug little brat. It might be worth seeing just how riled she could get if he were to refuse to go through with it…

But the Void could never be affected by anything he did or did not do. Knowing her, she would just shrug and go search out the next damn victim to use for her mad little scheme. Knowing her rather dubious principles, she would probably go and find someone ‘easier’ to deal with---which meant she would go hunt up another dark soul full of hate and hunger.

And then he would be back at square one, because then he would be fighting for own his Jewel shards, as the ghost-girl of the Void would need them to complete the Shikon no Tama and her puppet’s dark destruction.

The white ghost of a small child bowed slightly, acknowledging the tangled threads of his turbulent thoughts. Opening her hands in a small, bestowing gesture, a faint smile curving her pale lips, she allowed the cracked, half-healed bauble to roll from her lap. Bankotsu’s blue eyes followed its path as it dropped from her gathered white skirts to the tatami-matted floor, where it lay face down, seamlessly smooth and glowing faintly with fuchsian malice. The white skirts seemed to pale in comparison to that mesmerizing swirl of eddying power, and he yanked his attention away with a jerk as he realized that the girl herself was slowly diminishing into a diffusing mist of hazy obscurity.

Her soft, dispassionate voice murmured into his ear even as her ghostly white form slowly faded from physical sight. :Remember to us your pledge. The Jewel must be made whole, the wound healed, the Balance restored. Only you can see that it is done…:

“Damn you!” He pounded a fist into the tangled blankets beside him with rising ire at the finality of it all. But how many countless men had ever railed in helpless fury at the desperate end allotted them by the Gods? It was as inescapable as it was inevitable, and he could only bow his head to the fate decreed him. So his frustration was short-lived, and he was left to stare broodingly at the sullen Jewel, whose smooth face glimmered with a faint aura of mocking madness.

Sango’s pale visage suddenly appeared to him---her eyes wide and the desperation cut across her drawn features as she had hovered at the side of a lone dead woman in the dark, struggling with wounded wrists and burned hands to lift rocks to act as both grave and guard for one long past caring. But still she had struggled, because it was right, and she could not abandon anyone to the ravages of fate when she might be able to stand as shield between them.

*Damn.* His fist uncurled and he spread his hand wide, staring at the broad, sword-hardened palm and blunt, calloused fingers. It was a strong hand, a man’s hand.

Was he strong enough?

He would have to be.

But one last, selfish wish remained within him, and his fingers curled back into a fist as he raised dark blue eyes that glittered with grim determination.

*I must see her. If but for one, single moment. I must see her one last time.*

Perhaps it was selfish of him, and unworthy of the geas laid upon him. Maybe it was but a last, lingering wish to stave off the inevitable, or just the weak desire of his soul to find strength in hers---strength that he knew he might draw on to steady him for what he must do.

*I must see her…must go and tell her, at least, how I feel. And then…then I will be able to die.*