Thawing Her Heart

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of it's characters but I do own this fic! : P


Chapter 13 Lost In the Cold

Before he knew it Kagome had joined him in his study. He was a bit unnerved that she had actually snuck in without him knowing it. No one slipped through This Sesshomaru’s senses, but she had. Studying her face once again he noticed the new violet color to her eyes. They seemed as cold as she was. How could he chase the coldness from this girl’s heart? He longed to see the fire return to her eyes and spirit. His inner rage swept over him again at the young southern lord, he will be dealt with! Yes once Naraku was defeated and he no longer needed the alliance then Kotaru would find himself on the wrong side of the western lord.


He once again mentally shook himself from his thoughts and realized that the girl was ready for some dojo time. She wore the blue leggings from her time along with a long sleeved top that clung to her. He realized how free her movements would be in this garb. “Come let us adjourn to your lessons then,” he strode to the door and out. She followed him down the stairs and out into the sunshine, he turned to make sure she was still with him as he made his way to the dojo. Once inside he was remembering the first time he had brought her for training. When he had told her to choose a weapon he had not expected her to choose those. The katanas had been passed down through his family through generations; they were to have belonged to the founding female of his clan. Although many had tried to wield them over the years none had been able to do so, he had been in shock when they had simply fit her palms like they were meant to be there. He was even more surprised when he had witnessed her “private” practices in his garden. The blades had glowed an eerie green when she had gone through her routine.


When he turned to face her he noted the paleness of her skin. How was the young kit going to take this sudden change in his adopted mother? Not wanting to dwell on things he could not change he addressed her once more. “ Today I will be taking you through my routine. I have noticed you practicing this in my gardens and I will not insult you with the slow pace I first started you on. Draw your swords as you will be facing me as an opponent this time.” He in turn drew Tokijin and squared off preparing for the battle. He would have to slow his demonic speed to match her in this. He watched as she drew both blades and prepared herself opposite from him. Again the blades took on the green iridescent sheen when she began to focus on her first attack. He was prepared for her when she began the series of thrusts towards him he was surprised that she was able to parry him though. Her speed was phenomenal and while he was trying to go slow he realized that she would win if he did not pick up his pace. He watched her face as she came at him again. The cold mask of indifference there matched his own, his eyes widened as her form began to glow while dancing in and out of his circle of defense. A blue aura started to surround Kagome as she thrust once more at him, then brought the other blade around as he parried the first. When he felt he blade come around he pulled tennsaiga out to block. His mind registered shock at the force of her attacks.

She was giving him a challenge! She a mere miko ningen was giving a greater challenge than he had ever had before. Even when he faced his brother after the defeat of Ryokottsei he had admired the hanyou’s increased strength, but had not been challenged by it. This mere slip of a human girl was giving him something he hadn’t had in decades. He was going to have to work for his victory. Swiftly they continued their silent duel as the sparks flew where their blades met. When he saw her final parry of one sword while instantaneously bringing around the other for an attack he flipped over her and landed behind. He brought tennsaiga around to her to the point between her shoulder blades met. “ Yield, I have the match.” Her swords lowered in her surrender and she turned to face him. He expected her face to be flushed and her breaths to be coming in pants, but when he looked he saw the same cool reflection of his own demeanor upon her. “That will be all for today, we will duel again tomorrow.” He re-sheathed his swords and watched as she did the same. She began to walk past him to return inside and he caught her wrist as she passed. “ Kagome we must talk.” What was going through her mind as she stared back at him? He could not read her expression as easily as he once did. Again he prayed silently that she would not remain so. “ I would like to ask you about last night. How is it you were not able to purify Kotaru when he forced himself upon you? I thought as a miko you could’ve done this?” He silently cursed himself at his own cold tone; he had not wanted it to come out as an interrogation.

Kagome looked up at Sesshomaru and pondered his question. While inside somewhere down deep in her soul she was screaming in her pain she knew the ice that locked it in would not let it slip back out. “ I was unable to focus my chi when I panicked. As I said I proved my worthlessness. It is no one’s fault but my own. I allowed him to break me and fill me with pain. I will not however let that stop me in my quest to kill Naraku. Now if you will excuse me I would like to be alone.” Striding past him she made her way to the gardens.

He watched her walk away. Was that really it? Had she panicked, or was there something more? He had not been able to sense anything from her when she had replied to his queries. This ice was disconcerting to him; he longed to be able to read her once again. He left the dojo and made his way back inside to his study. He would find away to break down the cold that had seemed to encase the girl. Kagome, he decided meant more to him than he would admit to anyone. Though he would even deny it to himself as of yet inside he knew it to be truth. Just what she meant to him he had yet to determine.


Finding herself in the inner gardens she sat down in the shade of a cherry tree. She let her eyes close as she shut herself off from the warmth of the day. It was almost as if she was becoming someone else she thought. / That’s right! You are too weak to deal with the pain I am not surprised. * Chuckles * That’s okay just let go I will make sure we won’t come to the same fate. / Kagome pondered what her inner voice had just said. Should she just let go? Should she just curl up in the darkness like she so desperately wanted to? Shippo’s voice brought her from her musings. “ Kagome what’s up are you asleep?” He stepped back when he noticed the change in her eye color. He had felt the cold when he had come to greet her. Now he almost shivered at the ice in her eyes…her violet eyes? What had happened to the brown he had come to know and love? Where was her warmth? Even after Inuyasha had broken her heart she had still held warmth. Now it was absent as he voiced his concern. “What happened? Why are you so cold Kagome?” He watched her shake her head as if to ward off his questions, he did not back down. “Kagome talk to me! You are scaring me, I need to know what’s wrong with you!” She still did not answer him just simply closed her eyes as if he were not there. He felt the tears start to form as he backed away. It hurt to know she was hurting about something but chose iced emotions to block it out. It also hurt that she was shutting him out as well, she had never done that to him before.
Turning he ran back inside he had meant to run to Rin but instead found himself outside Sesshomaru’s study. Yes maybe he knew what was wrong; he gathered up his courage to face the intimidating lord and knocked.


Kouga still couldn’t shake the feeling something was very wrong with Kagome. The emptiness he had felt from her before had turned into an ice that numbed everything. This disturbed more than the emptiness, as long as he had known Kagome he had never known her to be cold she was always warm and friendly even if she was hurting. Pondering what could have caused this drastic change he decided it was time for another visit with the lord of the west and his newest ward.


Kotaru slowly woke from blackness and was surprised to find himself back in his own quarters on his own bed. He hissed out his breath as he felt the pain searing through him. What had happened? He suddenly remembered in a rush the events of the night before, that’s right Sesshomaru had kept him from marking his mate. His eyes narrowed in his rage and he pondered what it was he should do next. No matter that the Inu Youkai had kept him from her he would still have her. What to do to gain her though? He knew he did not have the forces to attack the western lord even though he had threatened it. One thought came to his mind however and though he tried to dismiss it he couldn’t. He pondered the thought more. Yes he would do it! For the beauty he had only begun to possess last night he would do anything! He called for his servant as he sat up in bed, sending the man to find his general he quickly penned his missive. When he had placed his seal on the envelope he turned to where his general now stood, handing him the scroll he watched him for a moment. He saw the trepidation in the man as though he wanted ask him something, quietly he spoke cutting off the other mans thoughts. “ You will take that scroll to Naraku as swiftly as possible, do not dally as I expect a quick reply. You are dismissed.” He had watched as the mans eyes flashed surprise and then anger at the orders, “did you need anything else my lord?” Shaking his head he watched him go. Then turning to face his reflection in the mirror across from him he seethed in his rage. How dare Sesshomaru lay a hand on him! His eyes drank in the scars as they were healing; he reached around and gingerly felt the marks on his back. Slowly an evil grin split his now twisted features as he savored the fact that he would have what was his soon enough.


Inuyasha had not let the wind sorceress out of his sight. While he knew she was headed towards his brother’s lands he planned to follow her until she reached the outer fringes of them. Once there he knew she would serve as a distraction for him, while his bastard brother was preoccupied he would slip in and retake what was his. Kagome would be his mate and bear his pups or she would die. He had decided that after consulting Kikyo. He was thankful she had pointed out to him that he was strong enough to overcome the girl’s objections. He still wondered at the strange line her questioning had taken before their passion though. What had she meant by Kagome housing a second soul? He had never noticed it before, when she had asked about it though it had sent his mind to ponder. Could that be why in some of their most intense battles with Naraku and his minions he had seen the flash of violet in her brown depths? If that were the case then maybe he would keep her alive long enough to find out the truth if she still refused to cooperate.

Miroku glanced at the now resting Sango, they had returned to Kaede’s village three nights previous. After explaining all that had happened in their quest to regain their friend they had settled in to sleep in the old miko’s small hut. Once rested he had convinced the miko to marry him to his love. He smiled as he remembered last night’s passion after their service. His smile quickly turned to a scowl when he remembered the bruises marring her body where she had landed against the tree. He had known blood lust once more towards the hanyou he had once called friend. What had happened to him he wondered? What had changed him from the gruff, but big-hearted man they all had come to know and trust? The only thing he was sure on however was that he would not give Inuyasha the chance to hurt Sango or Kagome ever again. This thought running through his mind he curled his arm tighter around his new wife’s waist and slipped back into sleep.

Naraku raised his head from the missive as he digested what he had just read. So Lord Kotaru of the south wished an alliance did he? Well he would give it to him if only to see where it led. His eyes met the young lord’s general and noticed the disgust, hatred, disapproval, and fear. Slowly his one eyebrow rose as he posed the question he had been dieing to ask. “Why this sudden change of heart?” The man merely shrugged his shoulders at the query. “Inform your lord I will indeed accept his alliance and look forward to joining in battle against our mutual foes.” He dismissed the man and watched him leave. Shrugging off the further questions in his mind he called for Kanna. As she appeared he once again returned to the sight he had not been far from of late. In the mirror’s image sat Kagome, tucked underneath her haven of the cherry tree she still had not allowed any emotion seep into her now violet eyes. Why was she so familiar to him? It was more than just her connection to Kikyo, he was certain of that. When he had recognized the almost obviousness of the second soul in her young form he wondered at how he had missed it before. Almost immediately following this recognition he began having the strangest dreams. She was in them and beneath him where he wanted her, but just as in this time her eyes reflected her disgust of him. Almost always he would awake with her whispers in his ears. “Regardless of alliances I didn’t want you then and I will never want you in the future! Remember my face for all time and may it haunt you through all your lives.” He would replay the last image of her bleeding below him, her dagger shoved hilt deep in her chest as she cursed him with her dieing breath. He could not shake the utter shock at her words even when awake.

Sesshomaru looked up from his lap as once again he was pulled to notice another had slipped past his senses to stand before him. It was the young kit; he saw the tears waiting to fall in the young demons eyes that gazed at him in question. He almost flinched at the words that escaped in painful query. “What has happened to Kagome Sesshomaru-sama? What has happened to my mother?” Wondering how to address the last he caught himself at the concern in his own mind for the young one. Why did it matter to him whether or not the truth hurt this young kitsune? Deciding not to dwell on unwanted emotions he answered with the hard truth. “She has been violated by Lord Kotaru. While I was able to stop the lord from marking her the damage was already done. She was not overly hurt physically she will be fine.” He regretted the statement almost immediately when the young fox’s green eyes took on a flinty appearance. Even through that he could feel the young one’s pain at his words. He was surprised when Shippo spoke again. “So even though I trusted she would be safe in your care my mother still suffered pain. I will not forgive myself for my error in judgment, but most importantly My Lord I do not think I will ever forgive you!” Before he could vent the rage through his shock at the insolent fox’s statement he had bounded from the room. He tried to seal off the feelings that began to rage through him. Taking stock of them he realized the largest two were regret and rage. Regret at not protecting the young ningen miko from the attack and the kitsune’s change at his cold words. But where he thought the rage should be directed at them for causing the situation it instead was directed at himself for his failure and Lord Kotaru for his transgressions. Why was the wench evoking emotions inside him that he had thought long dead and buried? Not just that but why could he not shake the unease in himself at the miko’s sudden coldness? But most importantly why was he feeling such a feeling of familiarity from her?


Kikyo sat back on her perch in the god tree. An evil smile crept across her features as she again applauded her own success in using Inuyasha’s love to control him. Yes the potion she had prepared and slipped through the wounds of his last battle with Naraku’s minions was working perfectly. He was doing exactly as he was told and wasn’t even aware of it. Her smile gone her cold dead eyes narrowed at the memory of the realization that she no longer held his true heart.

~~~~~~FLASHBACK~~~~~~~


She was sitting below the tree she had pinned him to waiting for him to meet her as he had promised. She had noticed the way he slightly favored his right side when he had appeared in front of her. Leaning back she had given him what she hoped would pass as a welcoming smile and not the sneer she hid. “Are you hurt Inuyasha?” He had not answered her, just stood there staring as if seeing her for the first time clearly. “Cut the shit Kikyo! I know you were behind Naraku’s enlistment of the band of seven! I can’t believe I fell for your whole innocent act when they attacked the village for the doctor. I truly thought you were not going to make it again! Do you even realize the pain of losing someone dear not once but twice? Even Kagome didn’t want to suspect you as the signs became more and more apparent; she knew after my first battle with Bankotsu but refused to believe her suspicion because she knew the truth would hurt me. She defended you even when the proof was staring right at me! How could you lie with Naraku? He was the reason we were separated in the first place? It disgusts me to think that I once loved someone so full of hate as you! You have no right to the other half of a soul so pure as to put her own life in danger to protect even one that hates her! So I have made a decision, when I almost lost her in this last battle I realized that she had taken up full residence in my heart. That is a place you will never occupy again! My choice is life with Kagome! As for you Bitch you can go to hell with Naraku!” She had sat in silence through his tirade, feeling her rage sweep through her she had finally lost the will and desire to control it. “No matter Inuyasha because you WILL follow me to hell one way or another! But I will make sure that sorry imitation bitch will beat you there!” She had almost squealed in glee when he had rushed forward and wrapped his clawed hand around her throat, leaving his injured side completely open to her swift attack. He never even saw it coming until it was already there; she had pulled the vial from her miko’s robes and unstopped it when he had jumped to grab her. Once in his grasp she had slid the potion into his body through the open gash on his side. She had known he was wounded she had also known that he had discovered her betrayal. It didn’t matter now though as she felt his grip loosen and watched as he staggered backwards. Collapsing in a heap at her feet she had smiled as she watched the potion leak it’s evil through his body. Knowing she was victorious she had thrown her head back and laughed until her throat was raw. The potion could not be reversed by antidote, the only way for it to release its hold on him was for Kagome to die by his hand.


~~~~~~END FLASHBACK~~~~~~


Kagura flew ever closer to doing her master’s bidding, shuddering she hoped that the icy lord Sesshomaru would realize the trap before it could be sprung. She could not shake this feeling that somehow she owed the young miko but knew this to be false. The girl had tried to vanquish and purify her on more than one occasion, and while she had a growing respect for her she did not have any feelings toward her in any way, good or bad. She still felt somewhere deep down however farfetched it seemed that she had known the miko once before. It was from that time that she felt she owed the girl. Pondering her thoughts she watched as the sun set on yet another day of her imprisonment to the bastard Naraku. She would be as slow as possible in reaching his lands if only to give the girl enough time to grow in power before letting the dark lord know she was unprotected. Slowly she made her decent to the earth as she commanded the snake youkai to do the same.


I hope you all enjoy!