Fire and Rain
folder
InuYasha AU/AR › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
13
Views:
3,180
Reviews:
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Category:
InuYasha AU/AR › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
13
Views:
3,180
Reviews:
2
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Inuyasha, nor do I own the characters from the series. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Giving Up
It’s my one year anniversary of being an Inuyasha fan fiction smut writer! You’re welcome.
Chapter Eleven: Giving Up
(Giving Up by Ingrid Michaelson)
“Thanks again for the flowers, Kōga,” Kagome said sweetly. Her job was the only thing she had now, so it would be best not to make waves at work.
He beamed at her. “No problem. What do you say to another date tonight?”
Immediately, she opened her mouth to reply in a negative fashion, but took a second to actually think about it. As she had told herself time and time again, Kōga was a great guy. She really did like him and he was good company. He was handsome, kind, good with kids, and had a steady job. All those qualities put together were hard to find, and here he was pursuing her, which still boggled her mind. At the very least, he’d show her a good time. She blushed when she realized the double entendre.
“Sure!”
Grinning and confident, he gave her a kiss on the cheek and went back to where he had been stocking the shelves.
O/o/O
“The theme park!” Kagome said excitedly as Kōga pulled into the parking lot. “I’ve never been here! But I always wanted to go.”
Inuyasha had turned her down time and time again all throughout high school for a date at the small, dinky theme park. Her mother had never allowed her to go and the only person she felt secure with in going behind her parent’s back was Inuyasha. He said the rides were for little kids and broke down all the time and the smells always made him feel sick. Upset but understanding, Kagome ended up never going to Babes in Funland Park, but always mournfully gave it a dramatic, wistful stare whenever she passed it when driving about town with Inuyasha, which still wasn’t enough to guilt him into taking her.
“Me too! Sometimes I wish I could just ask one of the parents that come to the store to loan one of their kids out so I wouldn’t look like such an idiot if I came here.”
“That’s a good idea,” Kagome nodded. She had frequently thought the same thing, only about Chuck E. Cheese.
“But we can go together now! Any time you want. Just say the word and I’ll invent a family emergency for the both us and we can take off work and play hooky!” he said, a mischievous smile on his face.
She laughed, beginning to genuinely enjoy herself. “Only if you let me pay for dinner, boss.”
Kagome had never thought she’d be one of those girls who insisted on paying for the whole date or even just part of it. With Inuyasha, she never felt weird having him dole out his meager allowance for everything, but with Kōga she increasingly found herself wanting to pay for the meal, for the entertainment, for the gas he’d use.
“Nonsense,” he drawled, putting an arm around her as he strolled comfortably to the entrance. “My girl doesn’t pay me in anything but smiles.”
Grimacing a little at the cheesy line, she fixed a smile on her face and pecked him on the cheek, determined not to let her stupidly weird uncomfortable feelings around him ruin the evening. A teenage boy accepted their money and put bright orange wristbands on them, the papery kind that were all but impossible for her to take off unless she had scissors. Immediately when they entered the park, there was a swarm of children with their parents, beautiful families who were laughing and holding hands and eating ice cream. She saw one family with nine children, beautiful little curly-haired blonde, blue-eyed cherubs with rosy cheeks, all of them shriek-laughing the way only truly happy children did. The parents were beautiful, too, modelesque, grown-up versions of the kids, beatific smiles on their faces as they held hands and planned out where to go next. Kagome knew a lot of people would look at them in shock, horror, or outright disgust for having more than 2.5 children (one boy and one girl, of course), but she supposed that if she herself kept producing such beautiful children, she’d have nine as well, maybe even twelve or seventeen.
“You okay?” Kōga asked, peering at her face worriedly.
“Uh huh,” she mumbled.
What would her and Kōga’s kids look like? Suddenly, she couldn’t breathe. If things kept going like they were, she would end up married to him. It wouldn’t be bad, certainly not. But it would be… uncomfortable. That was really the only word that came to mind when she thought about how she felt about him. The only time she wasn’t feeling uncomfortable around him was when they were doing purely work things or—or when he was kissing her. She blushed. They’d just have to keep kissing, then. As well as other things.
“So, you want to eat first, or do you want to go on some rides?”
“Rides!” she said, slowly recovering her earlier excited mood.
“Good choice.”
Kagome clung to Kōga on the tilt-a-whirl, on several roller coasters, and on a haunted house ride. When they weren’t on the rides, they were holding hands, or had their sides pressed together as he put an arm around her. The entire time, she was sending him telepathic signals to kiss her. She needed to see if it would be the same as that last time. All her (admittedly poor) attempts at seduction had gone unnoticed, even the old trick of slightly unbuttoning her blouse and laughing at everything he said whilst simultaneously touching him in places that were hardly an inch away from where it was appropriate. After a while, she felt like slapping him. If she came on any stronger, she’d feel like an idiot, and even then only half as dense as he was.
“Hey,” he said softly, stopping in the middle of the walkway.
Was this it? She bit her lip and looked at him from beneath her lashes, knowing she was overdoing it.
“Yeah?” she whispered.
“Want some ice cream?”
Deflating, she nodded. “Swirl, please.”
Again, they walked hand in hand, her licking the surprisingly good ice cream while wondering why she had never even thought to have dessert before dinner. Kōga was telling her some anecdote about his childhood that she thought a bit too personal, so she tuned it out in order to preserve her relatively positive opinion of him.
“…So then Ginta pulls up his pants and we just start freaking running, and by this time we’re all laughing our asses off. I almost tripped over Hakkaku, poor bastard, and the cops—“
“Kagome?”
For some reason, her reaction to her sister’s voice was to freak out and throw her ice cream to the ground to her right, where it hit a toddler’s light-up sneakers and made him burst into tears. Ignoring the bawling child and his glaring parents, Kagome’s hands started trembling, and she tried her utmost to remain calm. Kōga, for once picking up on her mood, held her hand, which surprised her with its comforting affects.
“Uh, hey Kikyo!”
Kikyo was wearing a tight lavender t-shirt that showed off her almost unnoticeable baby bump. It really just looked like she was having a fat day. A smile on her face, she hugged Kagome, not noticing when she inched away, trying to keep the gut full of life away from her. Maybe someday she would be able to love her niece or nephew, but today was not that day.
“Inuyasha, come say hi!”
Of course, wherever Kikyo was, now he would be there as well. There was a slight frown on his face and he kept his eyes on the ground, just like when she had woken up. Kagome began to panic. Kōga knew Inuyasha. He knew that the two of them had something going on. There was no mistaking that she and Kikyo were sisters. A cold sweat started to creep down her neck and she looked up at her boss. Smiling jovially, he shook Kikyo’s hand, introducing himself. He didn’t appear to recognize Inuyasha, which was odd. Was he simply faking for her benefit? Confused but relieved, she allowed herself to relax a little and listen to their conversation.
“This is where Inuyasha and I had our first official date!” Kikyo revealed, smiling fondly at her husband.
Kagome felt like throwing up. He had never wanted to take her there, and she had only asked about a hundred times. But he took her sister there for that special first date? She wanted to be angry, but all she could feel was a desire to run, to run far away and cry in Kōga’s car.
“One of those classic high-school sweetheart dates, huh?” Kōga remarked, unwittingly driving a knife through Kagome’s already brutalized heart. “That’s great. Kagome and I haven’t been here before tonight. I didn’t know that before coming here, and now I’m a hundred times gladder I chose this place. I usually go out of my mind trying to impress this girl, but it’s all been worth it since she’s finally mine.” He grinned at her and she smiled back, unsuccessfully trying to stop her lips from quivering.
“How sweet!” Kikyo replied, looking between the two of them. “I can definitely see this working out. You two have something special, anyone can see that just by looking at you. I wouldn’t be surprised if Kagome’s looking like this before too long,” she laughed, gesturing to her barely there bump.
Kagome blushed, humiliated. Did she really have to go that far?! Kōga merely laughed.
“Not until after the wedding. Heck, I’d be willing to elope and marry her tonight, but I’ve yet to make her as crazy about me as I am about her. It’s just a matter of time, though. I’ll court Kagome until we’ve reached the same place emotionally,” he said generously, kissing the top of her head after his speech.
What had she gotten herself into?
“Sounds like she’ll be needing a restraining order instead of a marriage certificate,” Inuyasha said, sounding far angrier than he had any right to be.
“Don’t be like that, honey,” Kikyo said, putting a hand on his. “I think it’s very sweet.”
“He’s right,” Kōga said with a laugh. “I know I’m coming off as some sort of wacko, but that’s how I feel. I’m not going to try and deny it. And she’s still with me, so that’s got to be saying something.”
“I wouldn’t say ‘sort of’ a wacko,” Inuyasha said before anyone could prevent it. “You’re a fucking psycho. You don’t know her, you don’t know anything about her, and you think you love her? That’s not how love works. You’re just a fucking idiot!”
“Inuyasha!” Kikyo hissed, realizing the severity of the moment.
“Like you’re one to talk,” Kōga shot back, his eyes narrowing the slightest bit. “You’re as crazy as I am, bastard.”
There was a tense moment, and then Inuyasha glanced at her, hatred filling his eyes. “Well, all that means is your precious girlfriend is a goddamn. Fucking. Whore,” he emphasized, spitting after the last word, wiping his mouth in disgust.
Kōga growled, actually growled, and shook Kagome off his arm from where she had been begging him without words not to retaliate. She wanted to do something, say something, anything to stop what was going to happen, but she couldn’t. Just having Inuyasha there, so close, had rendered her incapable of human speech. She felt lost.
“You fucker! She’s not going to stop me this time!” Kōga shouted, moving faster than she thought possible and punching his rival in the face. He didn’t stop there, just kept going and going. Twice, three times, four times. All with painfully accurate, vengeful precision. Kikyo was yelling at the both of them, looking more embarrassed than worried, and all Kagome could do was cry, both hands pressed against her mouth. She wanted to tell Inuyasha to fight back, to do something! But all he did was take it, welcome it as though he wanted it. She even thought there was a small smile on his face. Kagome had seen him get into a couple fights before and knew he could handle himself, so why was he just there, doing nothing?
Finally, Kōga decided he was done. Apparently, it wasn’t very satisfying hitting a man who wouldn’t hit back. Shaking droplets of blood off his hand, both his and Inuyasha’s, he glared at the man who was still somehow standing after the assault.
Inuyasha wiped the blood off his face, not looking at any of them or the crowd gathered around them.
“This night’s fucking ruined. I’m going to the car.”
And he walked off.
Kikyo stared at his retreating back before looking back to Kagome and her date. “Sorry about his attitude. He’s been so stressed lately. Goodbye!” She trotted off after him.
“I-I-I don’t feel well,” Kagome whispered, surprised by her sudden ability to speak again.
Kōga looked at her sorrowfully. After a moment, he sighed. “I’m sorry we couldn’t have a longer evening together, but I get it. That bastard deserved more than just a couple hits. I’ll take you home.”
O/o/O
Kagome didn’t go back to work. She couldn’t. She could hardly get out of bed. Sango tried her best, promising to let her shower first from now on, but it was no use. Mostly, she just slept. Dreams were so much more realistic when she slept sixteen hours a day. She could even control them, after a while. Although all it did was make her feel worse. Her bed was her home for a week, and then she woke up. Really woke up. Without notifying Sango of her abrupt recovery from her mystery illness, she got up, showered, dressed, and left the house.
Kōga’s Kiddie Kodices looked just as it had before, not needing her in order to continue to exist and function. Kōga would be the same, she reasoned with herself. Now, she wished more than ever that she could turn back time. She would not go back to before the accident, but to immediately after. If she could go back, she’d leave town immediately and go far away. She wouldn’t have toyed around with Kōga and Hojo and Inuyasha. This world wasn’t hers anymore. There was no place in this town that she belonged. She’d have to carve out a place for herself, and to do that she had to break free from everything and everyone holding her back.
Of course, she would never love anyone but Inuyasha, at least not as much. Her heart had already decided for her, and there was no fighting it. Maybe with time and patience and concentration, she could learn to care for someone and that someone would love her the way the man she left behind would not, could not, should not.
The store was mostly empty, a few stragglers lingering here and there, lookers but not buyers. She had come at a slow time intentionally. Walking over to the counter, she waited for Kōga, whom she knew would appear sooner or later.
“Kagome?”
That was a surprise. “Hojo.” Her voice had a rough quality to it from all the crying she had done. “I’m glad you’re here.”
He eyed her lack of a name tag. “Are you on break or something?”
“Kagome!” Kōga said, jogging up to the counter, sounding relieved. “Hey, were you sick or something? I tried calling and your roommate kind of just blubbered a bunch of nonsense about freaking you out with a tooth brush or whatever. She was really worried.”
“I’m quitting.” Kagome thought it was best to be blunt at this time. “And I’m leaving town. I just wanted to thank you for everything, Kōga, and you too, Hojo.” She wanted to want to cry. “Thank you for healing me, Hojo, and thank you for giving me a purpose, Kōga. I’m sorry if I led either of you to believe there could be something more between us, but I’m just not emotionally available right now.”
There. She had said it. Her detached and obviously rehearsed speech. She took a deep breath, looking back and forth between Hojo and Kōga. Hojo shook his head and walked out, for once not being the sweet man she knew him to be. Kagome sighed. It was understandable. He had probably paid too much attention to the talk of the other nurses when they had joked about them getting together in some sort of soap opera way. Kōga’s reaction mystified her, however. He was smiling at her, leaning on the counter.
“I’m a patient man, Kagome. The time will come when you’ll realize what I realized the moment I first saw you.”
Torn between gratefulness and irritation at his confidence, she settled on a small smile and gave him a hug, careful not to press too close.
“I’ll miss you, Kōga. Really.” She felt like Dorothy talking to the Scarecrow at the end of the Wizard of Oz.
“Take this.” He handed her a paper rectangle, which she realized was a check. To her surprise, it was more than triple the normal amount she usually received. “Don’t want my woman going hungry on the road,” he said with a grin. “When are you leaving?”
“A few days from now. I want to say goodbye to my sister and the rest of our family, and Sango, my roommate, will probably want to throw a party. Thank you again, Kōga. You’re really the greatest.” She meant it.
“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered, suddenly a little embarrassed. “Invite me to your going away party, alright? See you, kid.”
And for the last time, she walked out of Kōga’s Kiddie Kodices, feeling both lighter and heavier than she had in years.
Chapter Eleven: Giving Up
(Giving Up by Ingrid Michaelson)
“Thanks again for the flowers, Kōga,” Kagome said sweetly. Her job was the only thing she had now, so it would be best not to make waves at work.
He beamed at her. “No problem. What do you say to another date tonight?”
Immediately, she opened her mouth to reply in a negative fashion, but took a second to actually think about it. As she had told herself time and time again, Kōga was a great guy. She really did like him and he was good company. He was handsome, kind, good with kids, and had a steady job. All those qualities put together were hard to find, and here he was pursuing her, which still boggled her mind. At the very least, he’d show her a good time. She blushed when she realized the double entendre.
“Sure!”
Grinning and confident, he gave her a kiss on the cheek and went back to where he had been stocking the shelves.
O/o/O
“The theme park!” Kagome said excitedly as Kōga pulled into the parking lot. “I’ve never been here! But I always wanted to go.”
Inuyasha had turned her down time and time again all throughout high school for a date at the small, dinky theme park. Her mother had never allowed her to go and the only person she felt secure with in going behind her parent’s back was Inuyasha. He said the rides were for little kids and broke down all the time and the smells always made him feel sick. Upset but understanding, Kagome ended up never going to Babes in Funland Park, but always mournfully gave it a dramatic, wistful stare whenever she passed it when driving about town with Inuyasha, which still wasn’t enough to guilt him into taking her.
“Me too! Sometimes I wish I could just ask one of the parents that come to the store to loan one of their kids out so I wouldn’t look like such an idiot if I came here.”
“That’s a good idea,” Kagome nodded. She had frequently thought the same thing, only about Chuck E. Cheese.
“But we can go together now! Any time you want. Just say the word and I’ll invent a family emergency for the both us and we can take off work and play hooky!” he said, a mischievous smile on his face.
She laughed, beginning to genuinely enjoy herself. “Only if you let me pay for dinner, boss.”
Kagome had never thought she’d be one of those girls who insisted on paying for the whole date or even just part of it. With Inuyasha, she never felt weird having him dole out his meager allowance for everything, but with Kōga she increasingly found herself wanting to pay for the meal, for the entertainment, for the gas he’d use.
“Nonsense,” he drawled, putting an arm around her as he strolled comfortably to the entrance. “My girl doesn’t pay me in anything but smiles.”
Grimacing a little at the cheesy line, she fixed a smile on her face and pecked him on the cheek, determined not to let her stupidly weird uncomfortable feelings around him ruin the evening. A teenage boy accepted their money and put bright orange wristbands on them, the papery kind that were all but impossible for her to take off unless she had scissors. Immediately when they entered the park, there was a swarm of children with their parents, beautiful families who were laughing and holding hands and eating ice cream. She saw one family with nine children, beautiful little curly-haired blonde, blue-eyed cherubs with rosy cheeks, all of them shriek-laughing the way only truly happy children did. The parents were beautiful, too, modelesque, grown-up versions of the kids, beatific smiles on their faces as they held hands and planned out where to go next. Kagome knew a lot of people would look at them in shock, horror, or outright disgust for having more than 2.5 children (one boy and one girl, of course), but she supposed that if she herself kept producing such beautiful children, she’d have nine as well, maybe even twelve or seventeen.
“You okay?” Kōga asked, peering at her face worriedly.
“Uh huh,” she mumbled.
What would her and Kōga’s kids look like? Suddenly, she couldn’t breathe. If things kept going like they were, she would end up married to him. It wouldn’t be bad, certainly not. But it would be… uncomfortable. That was really the only word that came to mind when she thought about how she felt about him. The only time she wasn’t feeling uncomfortable around him was when they were doing purely work things or—or when he was kissing her. She blushed. They’d just have to keep kissing, then. As well as other things.
“So, you want to eat first, or do you want to go on some rides?”
“Rides!” she said, slowly recovering her earlier excited mood.
“Good choice.”
Kagome clung to Kōga on the tilt-a-whirl, on several roller coasters, and on a haunted house ride. When they weren’t on the rides, they were holding hands, or had their sides pressed together as he put an arm around her. The entire time, she was sending him telepathic signals to kiss her. She needed to see if it would be the same as that last time. All her (admittedly poor) attempts at seduction had gone unnoticed, even the old trick of slightly unbuttoning her blouse and laughing at everything he said whilst simultaneously touching him in places that were hardly an inch away from where it was appropriate. After a while, she felt like slapping him. If she came on any stronger, she’d feel like an idiot, and even then only half as dense as he was.
“Hey,” he said softly, stopping in the middle of the walkway.
Was this it? She bit her lip and looked at him from beneath her lashes, knowing she was overdoing it.
“Yeah?” she whispered.
“Want some ice cream?”
Deflating, she nodded. “Swirl, please.”
Again, they walked hand in hand, her licking the surprisingly good ice cream while wondering why she had never even thought to have dessert before dinner. Kōga was telling her some anecdote about his childhood that she thought a bit too personal, so she tuned it out in order to preserve her relatively positive opinion of him.
“…So then Ginta pulls up his pants and we just start freaking running, and by this time we’re all laughing our asses off. I almost tripped over Hakkaku, poor bastard, and the cops—“
“Kagome?”
For some reason, her reaction to her sister’s voice was to freak out and throw her ice cream to the ground to her right, where it hit a toddler’s light-up sneakers and made him burst into tears. Ignoring the bawling child and his glaring parents, Kagome’s hands started trembling, and she tried her utmost to remain calm. Kōga, for once picking up on her mood, held her hand, which surprised her with its comforting affects.
“Uh, hey Kikyo!”
Kikyo was wearing a tight lavender t-shirt that showed off her almost unnoticeable baby bump. It really just looked like she was having a fat day. A smile on her face, she hugged Kagome, not noticing when she inched away, trying to keep the gut full of life away from her. Maybe someday she would be able to love her niece or nephew, but today was not that day.
“Inuyasha, come say hi!”
Of course, wherever Kikyo was, now he would be there as well. There was a slight frown on his face and he kept his eyes on the ground, just like when she had woken up. Kagome began to panic. Kōga knew Inuyasha. He knew that the two of them had something going on. There was no mistaking that she and Kikyo were sisters. A cold sweat started to creep down her neck and she looked up at her boss. Smiling jovially, he shook Kikyo’s hand, introducing himself. He didn’t appear to recognize Inuyasha, which was odd. Was he simply faking for her benefit? Confused but relieved, she allowed herself to relax a little and listen to their conversation.
“This is where Inuyasha and I had our first official date!” Kikyo revealed, smiling fondly at her husband.
Kagome felt like throwing up. He had never wanted to take her there, and she had only asked about a hundred times. But he took her sister there for that special first date? She wanted to be angry, but all she could feel was a desire to run, to run far away and cry in Kōga’s car.
“One of those classic high-school sweetheart dates, huh?” Kōga remarked, unwittingly driving a knife through Kagome’s already brutalized heart. “That’s great. Kagome and I haven’t been here before tonight. I didn’t know that before coming here, and now I’m a hundred times gladder I chose this place. I usually go out of my mind trying to impress this girl, but it’s all been worth it since she’s finally mine.” He grinned at her and she smiled back, unsuccessfully trying to stop her lips from quivering.
“How sweet!” Kikyo replied, looking between the two of them. “I can definitely see this working out. You two have something special, anyone can see that just by looking at you. I wouldn’t be surprised if Kagome’s looking like this before too long,” she laughed, gesturing to her barely there bump.
Kagome blushed, humiliated. Did she really have to go that far?! Kōga merely laughed.
“Not until after the wedding. Heck, I’d be willing to elope and marry her tonight, but I’ve yet to make her as crazy about me as I am about her. It’s just a matter of time, though. I’ll court Kagome until we’ve reached the same place emotionally,” he said generously, kissing the top of her head after his speech.
What had she gotten herself into?
“Sounds like she’ll be needing a restraining order instead of a marriage certificate,” Inuyasha said, sounding far angrier than he had any right to be.
“Don’t be like that, honey,” Kikyo said, putting a hand on his. “I think it’s very sweet.”
“He’s right,” Kōga said with a laugh. “I know I’m coming off as some sort of wacko, but that’s how I feel. I’m not going to try and deny it. And she’s still with me, so that’s got to be saying something.”
“I wouldn’t say ‘sort of’ a wacko,” Inuyasha said before anyone could prevent it. “You’re a fucking psycho. You don’t know her, you don’t know anything about her, and you think you love her? That’s not how love works. You’re just a fucking idiot!”
“Inuyasha!” Kikyo hissed, realizing the severity of the moment.
“Like you’re one to talk,” Kōga shot back, his eyes narrowing the slightest bit. “You’re as crazy as I am, bastard.”
There was a tense moment, and then Inuyasha glanced at her, hatred filling his eyes. “Well, all that means is your precious girlfriend is a goddamn. Fucking. Whore,” he emphasized, spitting after the last word, wiping his mouth in disgust.
Kōga growled, actually growled, and shook Kagome off his arm from where she had been begging him without words not to retaliate. She wanted to do something, say something, anything to stop what was going to happen, but she couldn’t. Just having Inuyasha there, so close, had rendered her incapable of human speech. She felt lost.
“You fucker! She’s not going to stop me this time!” Kōga shouted, moving faster than she thought possible and punching his rival in the face. He didn’t stop there, just kept going and going. Twice, three times, four times. All with painfully accurate, vengeful precision. Kikyo was yelling at the both of them, looking more embarrassed than worried, and all Kagome could do was cry, both hands pressed against her mouth. She wanted to tell Inuyasha to fight back, to do something! But all he did was take it, welcome it as though he wanted it. She even thought there was a small smile on his face. Kagome had seen him get into a couple fights before and knew he could handle himself, so why was he just there, doing nothing?
Finally, Kōga decided he was done. Apparently, it wasn’t very satisfying hitting a man who wouldn’t hit back. Shaking droplets of blood off his hand, both his and Inuyasha’s, he glared at the man who was still somehow standing after the assault.
Inuyasha wiped the blood off his face, not looking at any of them or the crowd gathered around them.
“This night’s fucking ruined. I’m going to the car.”
And he walked off.
Kikyo stared at his retreating back before looking back to Kagome and her date. “Sorry about his attitude. He’s been so stressed lately. Goodbye!” She trotted off after him.
“I-I-I don’t feel well,” Kagome whispered, surprised by her sudden ability to speak again.
Kōga looked at her sorrowfully. After a moment, he sighed. “I’m sorry we couldn’t have a longer evening together, but I get it. That bastard deserved more than just a couple hits. I’ll take you home.”
O/o/O
Kagome didn’t go back to work. She couldn’t. She could hardly get out of bed. Sango tried her best, promising to let her shower first from now on, but it was no use. Mostly, she just slept. Dreams were so much more realistic when she slept sixteen hours a day. She could even control them, after a while. Although all it did was make her feel worse. Her bed was her home for a week, and then she woke up. Really woke up. Without notifying Sango of her abrupt recovery from her mystery illness, she got up, showered, dressed, and left the house.
Kōga’s Kiddie Kodices looked just as it had before, not needing her in order to continue to exist and function. Kōga would be the same, she reasoned with herself. Now, she wished more than ever that she could turn back time. She would not go back to before the accident, but to immediately after. If she could go back, she’d leave town immediately and go far away. She wouldn’t have toyed around with Kōga and Hojo and Inuyasha. This world wasn’t hers anymore. There was no place in this town that she belonged. She’d have to carve out a place for herself, and to do that she had to break free from everything and everyone holding her back.
Of course, she would never love anyone but Inuyasha, at least not as much. Her heart had already decided for her, and there was no fighting it. Maybe with time and patience and concentration, she could learn to care for someone and that someone would love her the way the man she left behind would not, could not, should not.
The store was mostly empty, a few stragglers lingering here and there, lookers but not buyers. She had come at a slow time intentionally. Walking over to the counter, she waited for Kōga, whom she knew would appear sooner or later.
“Kagome?”
That was a surprise. “Hojo.” Her voice had a rough quality to it from all the crying she had done. “I’m glad you’re here.”
He eyed her lack of a name tag. “Are you on break or something?”
“Kagome!” Kōga said, jogging up to the counter, sounding relieved. “Hey, were you sick or something? I tried calling and your roommate kind of just blubbered a bunch of nonsense about freaking you out with a tooth brush or whatever. She was really worried.”
“I’m quitting.” Kagome thought it was best to be blunt at this time. “And I’m leaving town. I just wanted to thank you for everything, Kōga, and you too, Hojo.” She wanted to want to cry. “Thank you for healing me, Hojo, and thank you for giving me a purpose, Kōga. I’m sorry if I led either of you to believe there could be something more between us, but I’m just not emotionally available right now.”
There. She had said it. Her detached and obviously rehearsed speech. She took a deep breath, looking back and forth between Hojo and Kōga. Hojo shook his head and walked out, for once not being the sweet man she knew him to be. Kagome sighed. It was understandable. He had probably paid too much attention to the talk of the other nurses when they had joked about them getting together in some sort of soap opera way. Kōga’s reaction mystified her, however. He was smiling at her, leaning on the counter.
“I’m a patient man, Kagome. The time will come when you’ll realize what I realized the moment I first saw you.”
Torn between gratefulness and irritation at his confidence, she settled on a small smile and gave him a hug, careful not to press too close.
“I’ll miss you, Kōga. Really.” She felt like Dorothy talking to the Scarecrow at the end of the Wizard of Oz.
“Take this.” He handed her a paper rectangle, which she realized was a check. To her surprise, it was more than triple the normal amount she usually received. “Don’t want my woman going hungry on the road,” he said with a grin. “When are you leaving?”
“A few days from now. I want to say goodbye to my sister and the rest of our family, and Sango, my roommate, will probably want to throw a party. Thank you again, Kōga. You’re really the greatest.” She meant it.
“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered, suddenly a little embarrassed. “Invite me to your going away party, alright? See you, kid.”
And for the last time, she walked out of Kōga’s Kiddie Kodices, feeling both lighter and heavier than she had in years.