Pink Carnation

Thanks Daniella for beta-reading!

Anemone: Forsaken.

Pink Carnation

Chapter 11: Anemone

A deep sigh escaped Kagome as she put back yet another apple. Usually she loved going grocery shopping for fruits. Not only was she completely addicted to smoothies, but the colors of the many different fruits, when you went to a store that specialized on having every single kind, was just inspiring. Today however, her heart simply wasn't into it.

Perhaps she had lost her interest somewhere between not having talked to Sesshomaru since he spent the night and not having talked to Inuyasha in three days. Whichever one it was, it was slowly getting to her. Her world was still upside down and she didn't know how to deal with it.

Her head hung low as another sighed rolled off her lips before she gave up. Perhaps today was just not the right day. Truthfully, she had mostly come out just because she needed to get out of the house. Everyone seemed quite preoccupied, including Sango with her job, leaving her to become insane in that house alone. Not that she would admit it to any of them. They already worried way too much.

Feeling a bit depressed, she exited the store, the bell ringing as she did so.

To change her mind, she had a ten minute walk ahead of her. She had totally refused to use her car, most likely because of her accident. It was true her accident didn't happen while she was driving, but the further away from a car she was , the better. Though she wasn't sure if walking all the time was better with the cold weather fast approaching..

She had made an attempt at leaving a message on Inuyasha's voicemail the previous night but it had been to no prevail. As expected, he had not called her back yet. She couldn't understand why he feared it so much. Granted they had a fight, and hadn't ended in good terms, but it wasn't as if they never had fights in the past.

As a matter of fact, no matter how much they loved each other, they would clash quite often. Perhaps it was because they could be so good at pushing each other's buttons. Nonetheless, it hadn't stopped them from loving each other through the years so what was the difference now?

Inuyasha remained the main thing on her mind as she got closer and closer to her apartment. It weighted heavy on her chest because she had never been so confused before. Kagome, since the day she was young, had always known what she wanted and how it would go. Now, something unexpected had been thrown her way and had changed the whole way she perceived her life.

It was almost if there was no going back now.

Her mind was so caught up into her thoughts that Kagome never saw the girl coming her way while she took her keys out of her coat so she could get into her apartment building. It wasn't until she felt someone tapping on her shoulder that she turned around and came face to face with a pretty young woman. Long black hair, big brown eyes, and fair skin were all that Kagome noticed and the resemblance didn't strike her.

"May I help you?" inquired Kagome, confused.

However, the confusion upon Kagome's face was nothing compared to the one that appeared upon Kikyo's face. From all the greetings she expected from Kagome, may I help you was not one of them. Had the girl fallen on her head and gone insane? There was no way she couldn't remember her! Her face had to be burned in Kagome's mind forever!

Still, Kikyo took hold of herself and put on her harshest features. "You don't recognize me?"

Kagome's eyes traveled over her face as if she was doing her best to recall her but nothing came. She did her best, but she could not recall and the only option that came to her mind was that she and the girl had probably known each other during the past year, hence why Kagome couldn't remember her.

"Were we friends?" she asked, her tone obviously void of any malice. Once the question left her mouth, Kagome felt a bit silly for asking such thing but in this situation, there was nothing else she could do.

Kikyo couldn't stop herself from arching an eyebrow. Friends. Friends? That was probably the last thing they were or would ever be. Though she didn't understand why Kagome had asked such a question in the first place! Since she was in unknown territory, Kikyo decided to play along and see where it would lead her.

"Yes, yes we are. At least I thought we were."

Kagome quickly nodded. Maybe it was a friend only she had and did not share in common with Sango and Miroku, hence why nobody had warned this girl about what had happened to her.

"I-hm. You know what, it's a long story. Do you want to come up?"

If Kikyo had been surprised before, she was now shocked. She didn't have a darn clue what was going on but she couldn't leave now. Kagome was acting strange, like she had never met her when they had clearly did for a brief moment. She doubted the girl was playing her, so she'd follow.

"Sure. I mean I was so worried when I didn't get any news from you."

"I'll explain everything," said Kagome with a brief smile before unlocking the door.

It wasn't like her to invite complete strangers into her apartment, but apparently this was no stranger. Kagome had never thought about the possibility that she had made new friends during the past year and that some of them had been lost along with her memory. Strangely though, Kagome wasn't getting the friendliest vibe from the unknown girl. But then again, perhaps she was uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry, I didn't ask. What's your name?"

Oh you should know my name. "Kikyo."

"Nice to meet you – re meet you," said Kagome, a bit nervous.

She was very social and comfortable with people in general, but even in situations like this, she could be awkward herself. The rest of the walk to her apartment was made in silence until they reached the door. Once Kagome opened it she offered her best smile before moving out of the way.

"Welcome," she said as she followed behind Kikyo.

This was the one place Kikyo didn't know, the one location that had been forbidden, where she had never been able to set foot. Granted back when she and Inuyasha were going behind Kagome's back, it had been a different apartment but nonetheless. This was still Kagome's little sanctuary and now Kikyo was in it.

Since Kikyo had been unable to find Inuyasha or his location for the moment, she had decided to go for the next best thing, Kagome. Now that Kikyo had thrown Inuyasha out of the curb she had wished to be proven the better one. Not only did she want the fact that she won to be known but she also wanted Kagome to know she had thrown away what she cherished.

Unfortunately, things had turned out rather complicated. After she had gone by some friends' houses and found out Kagome's location she had expected everything to go smoothly. This was not what she had in mind.

"So, what happened?" asked Kikyo as she sat down on her own without being offered.

Kagome pinched her lips together before dropping her keys in the bowl on the table by the door. How could she even explain this when she didn't know the events clearly herself? The best way was to put it as simple as possible. Kagome took a seat by Kikyo's side before her eyes hardened a bit.

"I was in a car accident."

Frankly, the fact that Kagome could have been killed did nothing to Kikyo. The girl had been a rival in the past and she cared very little for her. However, it would not be an appropriate display of emotion. Kagome didn't seem to recognize her and Kikyo didn't want to blow her cover just now. So she played along and a worried look appeared upon her features.

"Oh my! Are you well? What happened?" she inquired like a good friend would.

Kagome smiled slightly, in a forced manner. "I'm okay, physically at least. See, the hit to my mind...I basically forgot the past year of my life."

Past year?

Including the most important event? Including Kikyo's victory? She felt her blood boil in her veins but she held her expression back as she pushed her eyebrows downward, giving herself a look of sadness. "I'm so sorry. Is it permanent?"

It was a good thing she was a good actress or this little supposed to be confrontation would not go down well. Her emotions were ready to erupt within her but she didn't let it show. Keeping her calm was the best she could do at the moment.

On the other hand, Kagome couldn't help but be a little thrown off by Kikyo's tone. It simply didn't sound like a regular friendly tone. Perhaps though she always sounded like that but Kagome didn't remember it.

"Maybe, they don't know."

Kikyo quickly nodded before asking the one question she was really interested in. "So you really don't remember anything?"

Kagome shook her head. "Nothing at all."

This would very much throw back Kikyo's plan, though in a way, Kagome had truly obtained what she deserved. Nonetheless, that didn't mean Kikyo couldn't have any fun at all. If she was thinking properly, in Kagome's mind… she was still with Inuyasha was she not? A year ago the two of them were a couple even if Inuyasha was cheating on her.

Of course, there was a subtle way to find out this information. If Kagome thought she was with Inuyasha, Kikyo could ruin her world by taking back Inuyasha and shoving it into Kagome's face. She could destroy her again; break her heart one more time. It was perfect and better than anything she could have hoped for.

"Inuyasha must be so helpful during this situation!" said Kikyo her best joyful fake voice on.

Suddenly, the tiny smile that had been on Kagome's lips disappeared. The mention of Inuyasha's name was not something she was wishing for at the moment. Nonetheless, she nodded. "Yes, I mean, he's been great. Between my accident, our engagement…."

It was upon hearing the last word Kagome pronounced that Kikyo's whole world shattered and her mask of lies dropped to the ground. Engaged? That could not be Inuyasha because Inuyasha had no interest in having a family or getting married. She should know because he never wanted those things with her and if he didn't want them with her, he didn't want them with anyone.

"E-engaged?" she stuttered, her glare present.

Kagome nodded. "Yes, we got engaged before my accident but I didn't remember so we got re-engaged…. I never told you?"

Kikyo rapidly shook her head. "I guess someone must have forgotten that important detail." A laugh came out of Kikyo but it sounded extremely fake.

Kikyo noticed the expression on Kagome's face and she knew the girl was beginning to not only be confused, but she also doubted the truth of this friendship. The best thing to do was to leave since right now she had very little control upon herself. There was no way Kagome would live the engagement Kikyo always dreamed of.

She didn't know how Inuyasha heard about Kagome's accident, why her friends allowed Inuyasha near Kagome, but she wouldn't let this go any further. Kikyo didn't throw Inuyasha away just so Missy goody two shoes could have him. He was supposed to be heartbroken over her not in love with Kagome. When had everything slipped out of control?

Kikyo knew she had to leave.

"I'm sorry, I just, I have an appointment, and I can't stay."

Before Kagome was even able to utter a word, Kikyo rushed out of the apartment, waiting to explode out of infuriation. Now more than ever she needed to find Inuyasha and take back what was hers. Kagome didn't know but she had just unleashed hell upon herself. Nobody beat Kikyo at her own games, especially not Kagome.

She would win, she always did.

Nobody could resist her.

-P-

"And I thought we could watch it. You use to love it," said Sango as she dropped the Titanic DVD on the table. "You know how much you loved to watch it every day."

Kagome rolled her eyes. "Yeah, when I was 12."

Sango shrugged her shoulders before stealing an eggroll from Kagome's plate. She was tying to cheer up her friend who had a strange look on her face all day. She hadn't really asked what was wrong but she could see everything was not well. Frankly, Sango herself was still kicking her own ass for interrupting Kagome and Sesshomaru.

Hopefully they would have another chance soon.

Sometimes, it was hard being in Kagome's company while knowing all the lies they had told her. They were days where she wanted nothing more than to start screaming the truth, but she couldn't. The best they could do was split up Inuyasha and Kagome so that the bastard wouldn't be around anymore. Not that he was lately anyway…

"Any news from Inuyasha?" asked Sango, pretending to be concerned.

Kagome shook her head. "No, but I did get the visit from a friend today."

"A friend? Who?"

"Kikyo."

Suddenly, the eggroll Sango had been holding fell upon the ground as she had been unable to contain her shock and surprise.

"Did you say Kikyo?"

Kagome stopped stirring her soup to turn around and glance at Sango. Fortunately for the brunette, all Kagome could see was her friend's back. "Yeah. Why do you know her?"

Sango's brain was going into an overdrive. Kikyo came? Kikyo was there? She saw Kagome?

"You could say that. She came to see you here? What did she say? I mean why did she come?"

Now that Kagome was thinking back about it, she never did find out what Kikyo was doing standing in front of her building. It had to be more than a friendly visit. Unless Kikyo hadn't heard news from her in a long time and had decided to check up on her. Though, she could have called as well.

"She was waiting in front of the building and I invited her to come up. She seemed surprised that I didn't remember her but I explained to her everything that happened."

Sango loved Kagome dearly, and of course, she couldn't know who Kikyo was but she almost felt like smacking her for giving Kikyo such information. The girl was a viper and she had to be avoided at all cost. She was nothing more than a cheap whore.

"What did she say?"

"Not much, she left in a rush kind fast after we discussed my engagement to Inuyasha."

Luckily, Kagome couldn't see Sango's face, meaning she didn't know all the expressions her friend was doing and was unaware of how disgusted Sango was.

Kikyo. Kikyo. Sango couldn't stop the name from ringing in her head. She didn't know exactly what was up Kikyo's sleeve, but she knew for a fact that whatever it was, it couldn't be good. Now, Sango wouldn't enjoy leaving Kagome by herself. She was prey to an attack from Kikyo. As a matter of fact, she would be calling Sesshomaru and tell him about it. Maybe they could make sure Kikyo stayed away.

In a way Sango would love for Kikyo to take Inuyasha away since it would be one less problem for everyone, unfortunately she didn't know how Kagome would react to such an event. It was true she doubted her relationship with Inuyasha… but to the point of breaking it off? To allow someone else to take him away? She didn't think that would work.

"Sango are you okay?"

Kagome hadn't failed to notice that her friend had been standing in the same position, resembling a statue for a few minutes now. Though such a reaction had been customary during the past few weeks. It seemed every time she spoke, she spooked out someone.

What Kagome didn't know was just how conflicted Sango was. There was nothing she wished for more at the moment then to tell Kagome the truth. It had been one thing to lie to her, to erase Sesshomaru out of her life, to let Inuyasha in, but now, everything was going down a spiral. With Kikyo in town, they couldn't have Kagome not knowing.

A shock would be too much for Kagome to bear and Sango wasn't sure if it was a high risk she should be taking. Though currently, she didn't know what was wrong from what was right. Kagome hadn't been herself for weeks; she hadn't been living her life for weeks. One of these days, she would need the truth wouldn't she?

At that point, Sango could only see one solution which involved stopping by Kagome's doctor and finding out more information about that shock. Maybe they would be able to tell her more than they thought they could. Sure, Sango didn't like laying out her friends' life for a stranger to pick and decided, but their options were currently very limited.

"Sorry, I was trying to remember if I ever met her," said Sango, lying through her teeth. "But I never did." This in a way wasn't completely false. There had never been any proper introduction between her and Kikyo.

A fight perhaps… when Sango had punched in her face, but apart from that no other interaction and they had never even shared any kind of conversation. Mostly because the last thing Sango had wanted was to try and discuss things with a whore. Punching her had probably not been the smartest idea, but it had been the only one Sango had been able to come up with at the time.

It had felt good and at least it had been some sort of payback.

However, the one who should have done something like that was Kagome. But she was too innocent, too pure, and at that time, too broken to even try something like that. But then again, it was what differentiated Kagome from Kikyo; their hearts and their souls. At least, Kagome would be fine one day. Hopefully.

-P-

"I am aware she is in town."

Although, he never thought she'd be bold enough to go seek out Kagome. He thought his warning would have been enough to keep her far away. Apparently he had underestimated her. Wasn't her goal Inuyasha? She had been able to obtain him once without ever meeting Kagome, well except once, so why couldn't she do the same now and take the fool very far away?

Sango sat down in front of Sesshomaru, her mood not as depressed as it had been earlier. She had just returned from talking with Kagome's doctor and the first thing she had done afterwards was come to Sesshomaru's office to discuss it with him. She had not been given the conversation she had hoped for, but it was better than nothing.

"We don't have to lie to her as much as we did you know."

Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow as a sign he was interested. He had always been under the impression that everything, or so, that she had forgotten had to be kept from her. Hence why they had completely cleaned her apartment of his presence. He would like nothing more than regain his position in Kagome's life, but not at the cost of her sanity.

"I'm listening."

"We can't present her with a memory that would be devastating if she doesn't remember because she might go into shock, but if she remembers it herself, she'll be okay. So what if he we tell her about Kikyo? What if we tell her that Kikyo tried to get Inuyasha? At least we'd put her on her guard."

"And it would only cause another spiral of lies."

Sango sighed heavily. "You know another way to prevent Kagome from being fooled by Kikyo because if you do, I'm ready to listen."

Unfortunately, he didn't. If he had, he would have already suggested it. Kikyo was a fiend and very sneaky. She wanted to win above anything else and it would be hard to stop her. He had already disliked her attitude for the few minutes he had been in her presence, and he knew instantly she had something in mind.

Being able to tell Kagome a few things didn't do much for them… Unless… He wanted Kagome to remember him. He wanted to be able to be more present in life, but for that, she needed a certain level of trust in him. Maybe they could re-introduce him into her life. Granted, it wasn't how he wanted it to go because he wanted her to regain her memories of him but he also wanted to protect her.

"Bring her things back to her."

"Her things?" inquired Sango confused. "You mean everything we took out of her apartment?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Most of them. They are harmless if they don't involve Inuyasha and her break up with him correct? Me being in her life doesn't remind her of it so our previous friendship should not. If I follow what you said."

Sango bit on her bottom lip, thinking it through. It would relieve a big part of the lie and perhaps make them all comfortable around Kagome. The more they could provide her with from her old life the better. She could just hope that a memory wouldn't be forced upon Kagome. The process of remembering, if it ever happened, had to occur because of her.

If they told her heartbreaking, devastating news and she forced herself to remember it would be horrible for her.

"Alright, but you better be there. I don't want to be the only one explaining to her why we took all her stuff away from her."

Kagome was sweet and nice but she could turn into a real monster when she was angry and Sango had no intention of facing her alone. She could feel a shiver going down her spine and she swallowed hard. Guilt was washing over her because she knew Kagome would be upset about them lying, and in a way, she had every reason to be. Hopefully though, it wouldn't make her push Sesshomaru away or things would be a lot worse than their current situation. This would have to be handled very carefully.

"When are you free?"

Sesshomaru was aware that Sango was right, that it wouldn't be correct to leave her alone in that situation, but to be honest, he was afraid of rejection. He could appear as a ruthless man in front of many but when it came to her it was different. Sesshomaru was bare in front of her, extremely vulnerable, and he could see his pride getting crushed.

But, as he had done many times, it was worth taking a chance of getting hurt to protect her. If she knew she could rely on him it would be easier to keep her away from Kikyo's grasp. If he had to, he would spend many nights by her side. He had done it often in the past, protecting her even from herself.

The snow was cold and harsh especially against the bare skin of his arms. However, he was at least wearing jeans while she was out there in nothing but shorts and a tank top. He didn't know her before or how she was, but he could assume she was a lively person since he had always seen her smile. Now that was gone. She always looked sad and her eyes were empty.

He had no experience with interaction; he didn't know what to say to make her feel better. All he knew was that he had to do something because her pain was becoming his, making his own heart feel heavier.

She hadn't been at her mother's house when he had arrived. Mrs. Higurashi had mentioned that she believed Kagome to be in her room and it was then that Sesshomaru had known something was up. Without grabbing his coat again he left and now he was scouting the area for her.

He thought she might have left the area around the shrine when suddenly he caught a shadow near a tree and he found himself heading in that direction fairly quickly. He left footprints in the snow as he rushed by her side. It wasn't until he was a few meters form her that he realized she was crouched down in the snow right in front of the tree.

"Kagome?" he tried, not moving, almost as if he was going to scare her if he did.

She snapped her head in his direction and he could see the tears rolling down her cheeks. She was shaking like a leaf; her whole face was drained of color probably because of how cold she was. He couldn't help but close the distance between them prior to wrapping his arms around her. Instinctively, she leaned into him.

"Why are you out in the cold?"

"I meet him, right here, under this tree. We were four years old."

Him again. He had ruined her life and he was still doing it. Sesshomaru had a hard time grasping the concept of this devoted love. He could perhaps understand it prior to the cheating, but now? Oh he had heard the saying the heart wants what the hearts want, but does it want it to the point of death? Because this was what was happening to her!

She was young, smart and beautiful while Inuyasha was a fool. There was no more reason for her to be wasting her time on him. Though, he knew it apparently didn't work like that. He had never felt that way, hence why he didn't understand, nor could he provide the right words. Right now, the only thing he could do was offering her a warm embrace.

"We should get back inside, you're freezing."

More tears cascaded down her face as she looked up at him. "You don't understand," she whispered. "You don't feel. You don't know what it's like to have your heart broken."

Her words were selfish, but then again, she was numbed all over. Inside out.

"Perhaps, but I'm not throwing my life away over an idiot."

Her eyes hardened as she pulled away from his embrace. "You're just… Why are you doing this? You hated me then what's different now? I'm not some charity case you can just take up so you can feel better about yourself! I'm sorry your life is empty, but I had something! I had someone!"

If anyone else said such words to him, he would have dropped them and walked away because they were clearly not worth his time. She should be no different. He should leave her to freeze in the cold, but he didn't. It was truly unfair. She had been in his life for such a short amount of time and yet she had some sort of hold over him. How could that be?

He was almost glaring at her, wanting nothing more than rip his arms away from her fragile body but they remained where they were. He was Sesshomaru Taisho, he was an important man, and nobody spoke to him in such an impolite manner or they faced his wrath. He was a proud man who couldn't be put down.

But he stayed.

Everything inside his brain was screaming at him that she wasn't worth it while his heart was bursting with an unknown feeling. What a strange creature she was; transforming his will like that and bending it as she saw fit.

It was then that the decision was made. Rather than leaving, he brought her back close to his chest and it was there that it all broke loose. She began hitting his chest in a non harmful manner; tears pouring like it would be never ending.

"I wasn't good enough. I wasn't good enough."

He gently stroked her hair trying to calm her down while hoping he'd be able to bring her back inside.

Didn't she understand that she was already more than enough?

From day one Kagome had him hooked. How, he didn't know. Through hard times she had been strong. Before then, he would have said that what she went through wasn't a hardship, but after becoming so attached to her he could understand the pain that came with losing the one you love.

Pride meant nothing in that case.

-P-

"Sango, can you please explain why you're making me wait outside my apartment door? Or why there is sound coming from the inside when I'm clearly not in there?"

Sango had hoped she could keep Kagome out long enough for Sesshomaru to bring back most of the stuff, but apparently she had been wrong. For a strange reason she could not explain, Kagome was in a rush to get back home. When they had arrived in front of the apartment door, they had obviously heard Sesshomaru inside, and since then Sango had been fighting Kagome to keep her in.

Kagome might be a small girl but when she wanted something, she wanted it.

"Just a few more minutes."

Kagome stomped her feet on the ground, before sighing. "I don't get why I can't go in my apartment."

Sango gave up, a little. They would have to explain everything to her, so why not start now. Perhaps Kagome would have less of a shock if she didn't find out everything at once. Plus, if Sango explained things first now Sesshomaru would be in charge of explaining himself later meaning Sango might escape a bit of Kagome's wrath.

"Kagome, remember when we told you about you and Sesshomaru?"

A bit confused as to why this was brought up now, Kagome frowned. "Yeah, why?"

Jump. "We lied to you."

Kagome's lips parted a bit as if her mouth was going to hang open but she stopped herself. "Wa-what do you mean you lied to me?"

"You and Sesshomaru were really close friends. I mean, sometimes it seemed as though you were better friends with him than me."

Kagome blinked. And blinked again. Slower. "Me and Sesshomaru?"

Sesshomaru was a nice guy and she had nothing against him but she could hardly see herself being best friends with him, at least not the way she was friends with Sango. It made no sense.

"Sango, are you okay?"

"I know okay, I don't know how it happened, I swear. But one day you guys became super friends. Walk in if you don't believe me."

Kagome was so busy trying to understand what Sango was trying to explain that the lying part was currently very far in her mind. She turned the doorknob, anxious to walk in and discover just what Sango was referring to. Once the door was open and she glanced inside, what she found was nothing she expected.

On the floor was Sesshomaru, which felt like a very unusual sight, and he was surrounded by many things that looked like they belonged to her. First of all there were many paintings, some done, others not, and many pictures. Her eyes were widened as she completely ignored Sesshomaru's facial expression while taking a step forward. Sango was following from behind, but keeping her distance.

Kagome couldn't help biting on her bottom lip.

Slowly she bent down causing her to join Sesshomaru on the floor. She dropped on her rear, before grabbing the first pictures she could lay her hands on. The first one she happened to pick was one of her and Sesshomaru. They were sitting at a table at what appeared to be an attraction park and she was shoving cotton candy in his face while both of them were laughing.

Her eyes were glued to the pictures and she began to be more confused than ever. Since she was seeing the pictures of what were memories, it was hard for her brain to not try to remember. If this happened, why didn't she know? It was creating a void within her heart but it didn't stop her from moving on to the next picture.

Once again, it was of her and Sesshomaru.

Kagome was looking just a bit tipsy and was getting a piggy back ride from Sesshomaru who was smiling while looking up at her. She couldn't help but drag her fingers across the pictures, his expression stringing a chord in her heart. He looked so soft, so loving… and he was looking at her like that?

Her heart was jumping inside her chest like basketball when she raised her head to look at him. Words wanted to come out, but nothing did. Instead she kept glancing at him, her mouth slightly open. What she didn't realize was how teary her eyes had become and she blinked. It was all it took the break the dam that was holding back her tears.

Sesshomaru almost felt his heartbreaking watching her cry and he wanted nothing more than to bring her in an embrace like he had done many times in the past but he didn't know if it would be appropriate now. He found himself looking at Sango, trying to get an answer.

All Sango could do was shrug her shoulders. This wasn't how she had expected Kagome to react and she was at a loss too. She thought there would be a lot of yelling and screaming… and explaining. No tears. The last thing she wanted was Kagome hurt and crying.

Kagome didn't want to break down like that but this was worse than anything. It was one thing to know you forgot people and memories but it was another thing to see it. No matter how many pictures she looked through, she couldn't remember spending all that time with Sesshomaru. Even if she looked through her brain, over worked it, she wouldn't recall anything.

And it hurt to know.

From the look on her face on each picture, she looked happy. Happiness she had yet to feel ever since her accident; ever since she had forgotten.

She wanted to be angry and scream at the top of her lungs, but she also wanted to cry and let that make her feel better. She closed her eyes and leaned in, not thinking if someone would catch her. But someone did because soon enough, she found herself pressed against a strong chest. She knew it was Sesshomaru, especially when he wrapped his arms around her waist.

She thought it would stop there, but it didn't because he stroked her hair.

Her pain was big and perhaps she didn't recognize it, but there was a feeling of déjà-vu. Her heart was clenching in pain while she pressed her fist against his chest.

There was no doubt the anger would come soon but for now it was only tears. Tears for a life she didn't remember, tears for a man she didn't remember.

Perhaps the tears were also because something had happened, she knew it, but for the life of her, she couldn't remember what it was. Apparently so far at least one thing had been kept from her and now it was hard to tell if something else had been as well.

They had lied to her once, how could she believe them the next time? Then again, perhaps there was a reason why they had done it, but right now she didn't want to hear it.

Sesshomaru could feel her trembling in his hold with each tear she shed. He had promised himself he wouldn't put her in such a state again. But he did.

And now, all he could do was press a warm kiss on the top of her head, rocking her gently like he had done so many times.

Having her in his arms just felt right. Yet it didn't take away the feeling that he was chasing after something he'd never have.

He could put her back together but he couldn't keep her that way.

-P-