Unrequited Love
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InuYasha › Het - Male/Female › InuYasha/Kagome
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
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Category:
InuYasha › Het - Male/Female › InuYasha/Kagome
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
15
Views:
10,566
Reviews:
63
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.
Chapter 11
DISCLAIMER: I don’t own anything about Inuyasha or the series They belong to Rumiko Takahashi, ect., nor do I own the song ‘Shoulda’ by Hinder.
AN: This is a warning to those of you who have a sappy heart like mine. Get the tissues before you read.
Chapter 11
Sango and Inuyasha sat waiting anxiously for the call from Kagome. Miroku stood over by the breakfast bar with a glass of water in his hand watching them pensively. Kagome called Sango a day earlier to let her know when she would call back to talk to Inuyasha. When asked why she wanted to call him at Sango’s she explained she didn’t want to take the chance of Kikyo being there to interrupt their conversation. Inuyasha could understand that. It was like Kikyo had a sixth sense about when to arrive. It was one of the reasons he told her to stay away from him. He forced himself to stop drinking every time he thought about Kagome. He would be the first to tell you his mind was clearer and if given the chance he would be able to talk her into coming back. That is, if it wasn’t too late. He already forced himself to face that possibility. When the phone rang they both jumped from being in such deep thought. Sango reached for the receiver and put it to her ear. “Hello?” She looked over at Inuyasha’s expectant face and gave him a small smile. “Yeah he’s here.” She held the phone out to him. He looked at it as if it was a foreign object.
“Kagome?” He asked when he was finally able to talk.
“Hi.” She said meekly. He couldn’t help but feel like she sounded so far away. But at the same time it felt good to hear her voice.
“Hi. Where you at?” He asked knowing that was the wrong thing to say first off. “I didn’t mean that. Well I do but...shit.” He said frustrated.
“I know what you mean.” She giggled gently. “I just wanted to have a chance to tell you why I left like that.” She started. “But I want you to listen. Don’t interrupt ok?” He thought he heard a slight tremble in her voice but he wrote it off as the phone line was bad. He was surprised by her request. What could be so bad she didn’t want him to say anything back? A bad feeling began to fill his gut but he held back the feelings. He could be jumping to conclusions with out cause.
{Before I hung up the phone all I could hear
was the dial tone ring in my ear}
“You would tell me if you were in trouble wouldn’t you? I mean I’m always here if you need me you know that right?” (Because I need you.) He squashed that thought down so he would be able to listen to her words.
“That’s the problem now isn’t it?” She said calmly. “You can’t promise that when you already promised someone else.”
“Kagome, thats...” He started to argue but she cut him off.
“You can’t interrupt or I won’t be able to say this ok. I really have to get this out before I lose my nerve. Promise me please.” She choked out quietly.
“Ok, talk.” He said rougher then he meant but his heart was telling him that this was all wrong.
{if I could go back in time
I’d say those three words}
“I know you care. That’s one of things I’ve always admired about you. But lately it seems you’re trying to push yourself too hard. I know that all this shit with Kikyo and me has you conflicting with your emotions. I know because it’s been affecting me too. I’ve watched you struggling every day to make her and me happy at the same time but when you get down to it. There’s really only one choice to be made here.” She said more calmly then he liked. She paused for a moment as if thinking about what she wanted to say.
“I have to confess that I saw Kikyo the other day. We had a long talk about everything. I’m sorry I got in the way between you.” Her voice was soft and full of sadness. But he couldn’t take this anymore.
“Kagome, I don’t know what she told you but...” He started until she interrupted him again.
{I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you
and this can’t be saved if you can’t be found}
“You promised so let me get my peace out ok?” She said angrily. He could feel her passion and fire over the line as if she was standing there in front of him. She was determined to make him listen to this and wouldn’t have it any other way so it was best he let her say what she had to before replying.
“Alright talk but I get a chance to say something after.” He retorted. She paused before going on.
{you hung up and left me for dead on the ground
you didn’t even say goodbye
I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you
I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you}
“We’ll see.” Was her reply. “As I was saying. I guess I was just too selfish to realize what it was doing to you. I’m sorry for not taking your feelings into consideration before. After talking to her I realized that Kikyo and I have at least one thing in common even though we are very different. That is, we both have a desire to be near you. She said she always loved you and I know from the talks we had that you always loved her. It seems to me that love should come first.” She sighed heavily.
{now that you’re gone I’m wasting away
the life has been siphoned right out of my veins}
“I’ve spent the months since we met hoping beyond hope that you would be my knight in shining armor forever. The problem is that it’s tearing you apart trying to deal with both of our demands. It kills me inside to see you drunk all the time. I know you’re better then that.” Inuyasha hung his head. He never realized just how much she noticed his turmoil. But she still didn’t understand. It was all self inflicted pain. Some how he needed to make this right.
“So I made some decisions that will help stop this chaos between us. I never meant for you to feel like you had to choose between us. I won’t deny that I wish it could have been me to make your face light up like it does when you look at her but I know now that won’t ever happen. I guess I never wanted what we had to change but life isn’t always fairy tales is it. It hurt a lot to realize that and I did the same thing I usually do. I ran away from my problems but now I have to be responsible for my actions. I just hope you can forgive me in your heart because it crushes me every day to think I’m the reason your hurting yourself like this. I never meant to screw things up so bad but I always do. I was so stupid and I should have been more careful. I’m really sorry for all this. I’ve never been good about keeping my shit together and this time I really screwed up. I’m so sorry.” She choked the last sentence out softly. He knew she was crying. He could already feel his heart dying.
{if I could go back in time
I’d say those three words
I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you
and this can’t be saved if you can’t be found
you hung up and left me for dead on the ground
you didn’t even say goodbye}
“I’m ok so don’t worry about me alright? I got a really good job and I got a place of my own with the help of some people I met.” She sniffled softly.
{I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you
I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you}
“Kagome don’t.” He pleaded feeling his own resolve breaking. He knew what was coming and he didn’t want to hear it.
“Inuyasha please let me finish. If I don’t say this now I’ll never have the nerve again. I care about you too much to stand by and watch you do this to yourself when I know you want to be with her. If I was out of the picture it would be easier for you so that is what I’m doing. I’m moving on. I’ll never forget you.” She sobbed softly. “You’re my first love you know but I love you too much to stand in the way of your happiness. I know you love her and I won’t be in your way anymore so don’t worry. Just remember that you’ll always hold my heart and I’ll never stop loving you.” She cried quietly letting the tears slide down her face. There was a long pause as she waited for his reply but he was shocked beyond words. She was actually going to leave. She sighed heavily feeling a bit disappointed that he didn’t say anything. “Well I guess I better go now. Just remember I love you and always will.” She choked out with a sob. Before he knew it the line went dead. He sat there for several seconds just looking at the phone.
{when you said those three words
I kinda freaked out
when you said them first my jaw hit the ground
I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you
I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you}
A single tear slid down his face knowing he blew his chance because of the shock caused by her confession. It felt like she yanked his heart and soul right out of him as it sank to the depth beyond hell. He had no energy to even be angry.
{and this can’t be saved if you can’t be found
you hung up and left me for dead on the ground
you didn’t even say goodbye
and this can’t be saved (and this can’t be saved)
if you can’t be found (if you can’t be found)}
He hung up the phone and put his face in his hands as tears slid lazily down his worn face. For the first time in his life, he didn’t feel like he had anything left to keep him going except the vision of her smile. He failed her for the last time.
{and this can’t be saved
I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you
I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you}
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
AN: I had a hard time writing this chapter because I kept tearing up and then I would change it to sound better but then I would change it back realizing that was the effect I wanted. Anyway, don't hate me for this chapter and before you ask, it's not the end. Thank you to all who have commented on this and I hope your not disappointed but this is the way I had envisioned the outcome. Look for my next chapter in about a week (hopefully)!
AN: This is a warning to those of you who have a sappy heart like mine. Get the tissues before you read.
Chapter 11
Sango and Inuyasha sat waiting anxiously for the call from Kagome. Miroku stood over by the breakfast bar with a glass of water in his hand watching them pensively. Kagome called Sango a day earlier to let her know when she would call back to talk to Inuyasha. When asked why she wanted to call him at Sango’s she explained she didn’t want to take the chance of Kikyo being there to interrupt their conversation. Inuyasha could understand that. It was like Kikyo had a sixth sense about when to arrive. It was one of the reasons he told her to stay away from him. He forced himself to stop drinking every time he thought about Kagome. He would be the first to tell you his mind was clearer and if given the chance he would be able to talk her into coming back. That is, if it wasn’t too late. He already forced himself to face that possibility. When the phone rang they both jumped from being in such deep thought. Sango reached for the receiver and put it to her ear. “Hello?” She looked over at Inuyasha’s expectant face and gave him a small smile. “Yeah he’s here.” She held the phone out to him. He looked at it as if it was a foreign object.
“Kagome?” He asked when he was finally able to talk.
“Hi.” She said meekly. He couldn’t help but feel like she sounded so far away. But at the same time it felt good to hear her voice.
“Hi. Where you at?” He asked knowing that was the wrong thing to say first off. “I didn’t mean that. Well I do but...shit.” He said frustrated.
“I know what you mean.” She giggled gently. “I just wanted to have a chance to tell you why I left like that.” She started. “But I want you to listen. Don’t interrupt ok?” He thought he heard a slight tremble in her voice but he wrote it off as the phone line was bad. He was surprised by her request. What could be so bad she didn’t want him to say anything back? A bad feeling began to fill his gut but he held back the feelings. He could be jumping to conclusions with out cause.
{Before I hung up the phone all I could hear
was the dial tone ring in my ear}
“You would tell me if you were in trouble wouldn’t you? I mean I’m always here if you need me you know that right?” (Because I need you.) He squashed that thought down so he would be able to listen to her words.
“That’s the problem now isn’t it?” She said calmly. “You can’t promise that when you already promised someone else.”
“Kagome, thats...” He started to argue but she cut him off.
“You can’t interrupt or I won’t be able to say this ok. I really have to get this out before I lose my nerve. Promise me please.” She choked out quietly.
“Ok, talk.” He said rougher then he meant but his heart was telling him that this was all wrong.
{if I could go back in time
I’d say those three words}
“I know you care. That’s one of things I’ve always admired about you. But lately it seems you’re trying to push yourself too hard. I know that all this shit with Kikyo and me has you conflicting with your emotions. I know because it’s been affecting me too. I’ve watched you struggling every day to make her and me happy at the same time but when you get down to it. There’s really only one choice to be made here.” She said more calmly then he liked. She paused for a moment as if thinking about what she wanted to say.
“I have to confess that I saw Kikyo the other day. We had a long talk about everything. I’m sorry I got in the way between you.” Her voice was soft and full of sadness. But he couldn’t take this anymore.
“Kagome, I don’t know what she told you but...” He started until she interrupted him again.
{I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you
and this can’t be saved if you can’t be found}
“You promised so let me get my peace out ok?” She said angrily. He could feel her passion and fire over the line as if she was standing there in front of him. She was determined to make him listen to this and wouldn’t have it any other way so it was best he let her say what she had to before replying.
“Alright talk but I get a chance to say something after.” He retorted. She paused before going on.
{you hung up and left me for dead on the ground
you didn’t even say goodbye
I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you
I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you}
“We’ll see.” Was her reply. “As I was saying. I guess I was just too selfish to realize what it was doing to you. I’m sorry for not taking your feelings into consideration before. After talking to her I realized that Kikyo and I have at least one thing in common even though we are very different. That is, we both have a desire to be near you. She said she always loved you and I know from the talks we had that you always loved her. It seems to me that love should come first.” She sighed heavily.
{now that you’re gone I’m wasting away
the life has been siphoned right out of my veins}
“I’ve spent the months since we met hoping beyond hope that you would be my knight in shining armor forever. The problem is that it’s tearing you apart trying to deal with both of our demands. It kills me inside to see you drunk all the time. I know you’re better then that.” Inuyasha hung his head. He never realized just how much she noticed his turmoil. But she still didn’t understand. It was all self inflicted pain. Some how he needed to make this right.
“So I made some decisions that will help stop this chaos between us. I never meant for you to feel like you had to choose between us. I won’t deny that I wish it could have been me to make your face light up like it does when you look at her but I know now that won’t ever happen. I guess I never wanted what we had to change but life isn’t always fairy tales is it. It hurt a lot to realize that and I did the same thing I usually do. I ran away from my problems but now I have to be responsible for my actions. I just hope you can forgive me in your heart because it crushes me every day to think I’m the reason your hurting yourself like this. I never meant to screw things up so bad but I always do. I was so stupid and I should have been more careful. I’m really sorry for all this. I’ve never been good about keeping my shit together and this time I really screwed up. I’m so sorry.” She choked the last sentence out softly. He knew she was crying. He could already feel his heart dying.
{if I could go back in time
I’d say those three words
I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you
and this can’t be saved if you can’t be found
you hung up and left me for dead on the ground
you didn’t even say goodbye}
“I’m ok so don’t worry about me alright? I got a really good job and I got a place of my own with the help of some people I met.” She sniffled softly.
{I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you
I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you}
“Kagome don’t.” He pleaded feeling his own resolve breaking. He knew what was coming and he didn’t want to hear it.
“Inuyasha please let me finish. If I don’t say this now I’ll never have the nerve again. I care about you too much to stand by and watch you do this to yourself when I know you want to be with her. If I was out of the picture it would be easier for you so that is what I’m doing. I’m moving on. I’ll never forget you.” She sobbed softly. “You’re my first love you know but I love you too much to stand in the way of your happiness. I know you love her and I won’t be in your way anymore so don’t worry. Just remember that you’ll always hold my heart and I’ll never stop loving you.” She cried quietly letting the tears slide down her face. There was a long pause as she waited for his reply but he was shocked beyond words. She was actually going to leave. She sighed heavily feeling a bit disappointed that he didn’t say anything. “Well I guess I better go now. Just remember I love you and always will.” She choked out with a sob. Before he knew it the line went dead. He sat there for several seconds just looking at the phone.
{when you said those three words
I kinda freaked out
when you said them first my jaw hit the ground
I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you
I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you}
A single tear slid down his face knowing he blew his chance because of the shock caused by her confession. It felt like she yanked his heart and soul right out of him as it sank to the depth beyond hell. He had no energy to even be angry.
{and this can’t be saved if you can’t be found
you hung up and left me for dead on the ground
you didn’t even say goodbye
and this can’t be saved (and this can’t be saved)
if you can’t be found (if you can’t be found)}
He hung up the phone and put his face in his hands as tears slid lazily down his worn face. For the first time in his life, he didn’t feel like he had anything left to keep him going except the vision of her smile. He failed her for the last time.
{and this can’t be saved
I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you
I shoulda woulda coulda said it back to you}
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
AN: I had a hard time writing this chapter because I kept tearing up and then I would change it to sound better but then I would change it back realizing that was the effect I wanted. Anyway, don't hate me for this chapter and before you ask, it's not the end. Thank you to all who have commented on this and I hope your not disappointed but this is the way I had envisioned the outcome. Look for my next chapter in about a week (hopefully)!