A Blind Heart

Chapter 11 ~

Goodbyes from the Heart

Kags POV

Kami we had enough to deal with right now thank you! I felt Kohaku’s jewel shard traveling towards us extremely fast. Guess that means he had a ride. I looked to Sango. She saw what was in my eyes. I could see the denial build up in hers. She ran outside Kaede’s hut and grabbed her weapon. Miroku went outside staff in hand to wait by his intended side. InuYasha and Kikyo glanced at each other before running out. I motioned for Maru to stay behind one second. “Maru can you make a temporary barrier, where we cannot be seen, heard or scented”?

“Yes Koishi it is one of my capabilities. Would you like me to do so now?” was his amused reply. Great I just love it when I am amusing the hell out of someone and don’t mean to be. He spoke some words very softly and I could feel the barrier shimmer into being. Okay time to breakdown my plan to relieve Naraku of one more minion, and to neutralize the threat he presented to Sango. Don’t get me wrong she would block like the devil when they fought, but take the offensive and hit him? Nope, a part of her could not do that to her younger brother. She still hoped to free him from the Jewel Shard. Lucky for all this Miko had a P-L-A-N!

“I need you to knock out Kohaku when we fight. I will stay by your side to remove the tainted Jewel Shard and purify it. You will then use Tessaiga to bring Kohaku back to life. Kikyo and I will use our Miko abilities to help soothe his mind and remove some of the pain his treachery caused. InuYasha and Miroku can fight the wind demon Kagura and keep her and Kohaku separated. By the time the barrier comes down we will be done and fait accompli. So what do you think? What are our chances this will work Maru”? I waited anxiously for his assessment of my plan.

“It is a sound and well thought out plan. I believe it can work. Keep in mind Koishi that the sword does not always work. However I will do as you suggested. Let us join the pack and await his arrival”. Whoa gone was my gentle lover who held me in his arms last night, in his stead was the Taiyoukai who reveled in battle. There would be no warm feelings on the battle field. Unless you counted the sensation of warm blood as you killed, maimed or injured your opponent. Realistically in Sesshoumaru-Sama case it was to kill. He explained to me a simple rule. If you can’t or won’t kill your opponent then you should not start a fight, injuries and lost honor would make them come back after you. So either swim in the deep end of the pool kiddies or stay the hell out of the water. Excellent advise don’t you think? So outside we went. I gathered my bow and sacred arrows. I noticed every one was battle ready. I asked Shippo to go stay and protect Kaede. Hey it’s the other way around but the little guy has his pride to. We headed away from the village to meet Kagura. No point in damaging huts and crops if we could avoid it.

Yikes! I forgot to tell InuYasha and Kikyo. Very low I whispered to them what I needed. All I told Inu was to attack Kagura and keep her away from Kohaku. Kikyo was just told to stay by my side. They probably assumed that I needed the protection. So confusion reigned supreme in the pack later, I walked over to Sesshoumaru pulling Kikyo with me to take her position. Inu opened his mouth and I shook my head sharply. “No time for questions. They are here”.

Kagura jumped off the feather and began her Dance of Blades Routine. Miroku used his wind tunnel off to the side to change the direction of the attack. InuYasha went after her with a vengeance. Naraku’s pet insects were around. Kikyo and I used our sacred arrows to keep them out of Miroku’s range. I looked out the corner of my eye and saw Kohaku and Sango doing their battle routine. Except this time I could tell Kohaku was not holding anything back. He would attempt to kill her this time. Guess Naraku was trying to pluck us off one by one since his last plan was foiled. Sesshoumaru used his demon speed to run up behind him. By placing two fingers on a pressure point in his neck knocked him out.

“Slayer help InuYasha and Miroku fight Kagura, no questions asked just do as you have been told” If flames could come out her eyes and scorch him they would have. We are going to have to work on his people skills. Honestly hasn’t he ever heard of the word “please”? In three seconds flat the four of us were incased in a barrier. I removed the tainted shard, and as always it purified instantly. Next came Sesshoumaru’s part. I could tell when he removed Tessaiga that the sword was not glowing. I called my Miko powers and lay my hands on top of the hand holding the sword. Suddenly the sword began to glow. What in the world? I could see the soul bearers from the netherworld coming to claim Kohaku! Our hands still joined Sesshoumaru swung his sword through them and with a loud gasp Kohaku breathed his first free mouthful of air. I let go of Maru and went to Kikyo. The minute we touched hands and then touched Sango’s brother it was like lighting up all of Japan at once. We both convulsed as raw undiluted power flowed through us to heal Kohaku physical and mental wounds. After about five minutes of healing we finally let go of each other’s hand. I fought to remain conscious. The barrier came down revealing the act behind the curtain.

“Kagura, you will tell the vile hanyou that he has lost another one of his minions. Tell him that the Lord of the West sends his appreciation for sending us such a gift. Now leave before you are purified into the next world.” Sarcasm and battle heckling thy King is Sesshoumaru. Even halfway into the moment I knew he would piss Naraku off with that little statement. The last sight before my fade to black was an angry and injured Kagura returning to Naraku on her feather. Well thank the Kami’s I was already on the floor. Not too far to fall. Can you believe with less than two feet to fall two distinct blurs, one red and one white sped to us? Never did hit the grass. I felt two arms cradle me to a familiar chest. Safe was the last cohesive thought I had.

Kikyo and I were recovered by nightfall. No lasting effects to the power surge. Well nothing else beside a pink streak of hair that began in the middle of our foreheads and went all the way back. Oh and did I mention the cool new tattoo on our foreheads? It was a small pink tear drop indicating that we were a powerful Miko! Just to let you know that kind of sign hasn’t occurred since Midoriko herself! Kikyo says the legend states when we master more of our powers, even the elements themselves that other markings will appear on various parts of our bodies. Maru has a whole section of his library dedicated to Miko training and spells. Takes the whole know thy enemy to a new level. But as I told him, we Miko’s would not look a gift horse in the mouth! Oh the explanation of that statement was hilarious!

Sango was pleased as punch to have her brother back. Between that and planning her wedding ceremony she was ecstatic and on cloud nine. Yes, she worried if Kohaku would adjust, but she had enough faith in all of us to know we would move heaven and earth to help him move forward. Although I could see her brother was still hurting he was at least better off with us. Time and distance would eventually heal his torn heart. The company of children like Shippo and Rin would also go a long way to help change his demeanor. We could not save the entire worlds population but we would save, harbor and protect him.

Five days passed since our battle with Kagura & Kohaku. Jaken arrived from the Western Citadel with a huge pile of kimonos, and an obi for each kimono. Ahem apparently if we were to be seen in Sesshoumaru’s presence we would have to dress appropriately. I will say that after a very heated discussion regarding my uniform, and my subsequent revelation of what class of person it proclaimed me to by I gladly donned some of the new Kimonos. Some of them went to Kikyo and Sango. Jaken also brought along several combs, accessories and other paraphernalia that any highborn lady would require. We drew the line at the pancake makeup. Natural beauties yep that was us.

What we wished he didn’t bring were several bottles of a foul tasting elixir. When Maru explained the use of it I didn’t want to take it. Seeing the smoldering look Maru gave me? Well that changed my mind faster than the Japanese Stock Market. He obviously had very carnal thoughts in his mind. That look frightened me more than I could say. Why? Because with that one look he promised everything from that first kiss to then end of my virginity. Delicious shiver aside, I will admit it put some very un-Kagome thoughts into my head. Damn Yumi and those porn films. Thanks to my “education film watching” I was able to picture in detail what I’d like to do with Maru. I’m no idiot though, the minute his nostrils flared and his Youkai raised I turned tail and hauled ass out of the hut. Suddenly finding Sango was paramount, to my sanity that is! Luckily or unluckily Maru didn’t pursue me. Sigh….

During the past five days I was not idle. I trained with Kikyo and Kaede hidden behind sacred barriers. After all who wanted to announce to out enemy the attack plan? Who would have thought that those two would turn out to be such hard task mistress’? Every night I arrived back at the hut in time to eat and pass out on my mat, sleeping in the shelter of Maru’s arms. The weirdest thing of all though was getting to know Maru. Around the others he continued to be the same old stick up his ass, Lord of the Deep Freeze. When we were alone he was sweet and yes even romantic. He would bring me small presents, flowers, soaps and other items that women of this era would prize. And best of all we would talk, about everything and anything. Life, politics, society, morals, religious believes, likes and dislikes were all topics of conversation. He was fierce in his debates; while he never belittled me he would not yield to sooth my pride. Any arguments I won were well-merited.

His last gift however, I had to tell him to hold onto. He brought me the most gorgeous necklace. It was a bronze circlet that fit me like a loose choker. It had a pendant hanging from it; the pendant had a sapphire crescent moon as large as my thumb. There were also small diamonds worked into some stars. I was stunned that anyone would want to give me a present of such worth. Maru had also noticed I had my ears and tummy pierced. He had commissioned earrings to match the necklace. The earrings were also bronze and captured a cascade of stars that were diamonds. The stomach piercing would have to be viewed by the artisan if he were to reproduce a similar item.

Yes I am sure that there are those of you wondering who the hell in her straight mind would turn down jewelry, and from such a devilishly handsome Taiyoukai. Well here’s the scoop. This particular gift would have been the first step of me accepting his suit. Also keep in mind I didn’t turn it down I just asked for him to hold onto it. I didn’t want to face my mother with so many opened ended situations on my side. Was it cowardly of me? Absolutely! I knew going home to say goodbye was literally killing something inside of me. How do you explain to the people who you love most in this world the sacrifice of giving them up? I didn’t have an answer to that, but we had to go to the future to wrap things up so we could continue or training. And while it was selfish of me, I wanted to keep this thing with Maru to myself. Oh don’t get me wrong. I would talk to my mother about it. I would pull her aside throw myself in her arms and unburden myself to her. Who else in this world can you tell all this stuff to? Nobody will ever love you with the same level of selflessness that your mother will.

Kami was I exhausted. Who knew the two sisters could be such slave drivers. I trudged up the path to the stream choosing to sit beneath one of the trees by the bank. My mind was processing a million thoughts a minute it seemed. But the most prevalent one was that I had to go home soon. I trusted my instinct and would not ignore them. Oh speaking of instinct my Miko senses were picking up the familiar aura of my Taiyoukai.

“Koishi, what troubles you?” I looked at him. I was already used to reading his eyes. His perfectly sculptured face may not tell you anything, but if you know how to read him his eyes will. Suddenly I didn’t want to try to speak around the tightening in my throat. I threw myself into his arms, trusting that he would catch me. The peacefulness of knowing that he would protect me from harm against all who wished me ill was soothing. I held onto him as if he were the only thing that anchored me to this world. I felt his arms tighten around me. Was he growling at me? Granted it wasn’t the run for your life growl, but strange none the less. I sat held in his arms and in his lap under the tree and prayed for the strength to go ahead and say my goodbyes. I was so completely serene that I began to drowse off. I knew when I woke up I would have to make plans to go back home one last time.

I woke up a couple of hours later, embarrassed that I had fallen asleep on him. Add to that I had my face snuggled in his tail. Believe me you he was happy that he had a lapful of Higurashi! I cautiously moved to sit beside him and lean my head on Maru’s shoulder. “I guess the enormity of my sacrifice is just hitting me, Maru” I whispered to him. “She will never see me walk down the aisle, she won’t be there when I have babies, or need advice on how to raise children, or a million and one things a daughter needs a mother for. My mother raised us with her father when my dad died. Never complaining, always loving me and Souta no matter what. My heart bleeds for her, she’s lost so much. My father, a huge part of my teen years, and how much longer can her father survive? He is already old by human standards. Can two people who love each other so much survive a distance of time itself? Does the heart ever truly forget? And can you go on with life like nothing ever happened?”

May the Kami’s grant me the strength to endure this! Don’t get me wrong I was extremely grateful that I had my family on this side of the well. I could only pray that I would find love and future happiness. InuYasha’s deflection left me in a unique position. No normal ningen in this time would take me for a wife, I was the Shikon Miko and my job was to protect and purify the jewel. Plus nobody wanted a wife that was way stronger! The only ones who were stronger than me were Taiyoukai’s and besides Maru they weren’t exactly lining up to hook up with a human. Yes people the prospects were slim. I think deep down in my heart I could see myself with Maru, but I would have to see what the future had planned for us. I would leave it in Kami-Sama hands. I know why not include Koga in this list of potential mates? Easy he loved an ideal a vision that he had of Kagome. He did not know the least thing about me and had never tried to learn. Therefore he was relegated to the only if I was desperate column.

“Miko what is this aisle that you speak of? You have an adopted kitsune as a son and show yourself to be a loving and proficient mother. I lost my mother over 100 years ago and I have never forgotten it. If you keep those you love in the heart they are never truly gone” Maru said while hugging me. I laughed ruefully. Sometimes, even when I was speaking perfect Japanese what I said didn’t translate well from one age to another. “In a human ceremony the women walks down a long aisle with her father. The father then gives her away to her groom. The aisle represents her last walk as a single woman. It’s all symbolic”. He nodded his head in understanding. We got up so that we could go back to the village. It was nice strolling holding hands. “Maru, tomorrow we go okay? Let Inu know”. I went up to Sango and started discussing wedding plans. Think happy thoughts was the plan of the moment.

The next morning we woke early. There was a pall in the air. I could not swallow breakfast. I asked the rest of the pack to stay behind in the village. Shippo was of course petulant. “Shippo, I need to be strong for what’s going to happen later. A part of me fears that if you all come along I won’t have the courage to go in the well. I promise to return and bring lots of presents for you”. He looked at me suspiciously but agreed. The three of us proceeded to the well. When we were in sight range of it my feet started to drag. I couldn’t breath! The pressure on my chest was immense. I stopped walking and trembled in place. Sorrow raised out of me strangling me in its embrace. Fear of the future began a clanging in my head. So this is what a complete nervous breakdown feels like, nope probably your garden variety panic attack. Call it what you will the end result was I was stuck going nowhere.

I could see Inu’s concerned face. But his mating bond would not let him comfort me physically. Maru stood in back of me and pulled me to his chest, and spoke in a low comforting voice. “Miko, breathe feel my breath how slow and steady it is. Let my hearts rhythm influence yours. Calm, peacefulness, find your zone Miko. You are the Shikon Miko preordained for greatness. Do not falter in the face of adversity”. He began the comfort growl again. His Youkino flowed around me; strangely enough my powers did not flare. Deep down where you don’t even confess things to yourself, I knew he was salvation and not damnation. The panic, sorrow, and fear began to recede like the ocean tides. I turned to him and said “Arigato” with a small bow.

“Now to jump into the well I think it will work best if Sesshoumaru-Sama and I are touching. InuYasha can follow afterwards. Let me review the rules. No killing, maiming or injuring anyone on the other side of the well. And please do not leave the shrine ground unless I accompany you. Agreed?” Once they both nodded I grabbed Maru’s hand and jumped in. Normally the well’s magic comforted me. It was bringing me back home. Today I was filled with dread. When we arrived at my time I looked up to the roof. Before I could climb up Maru jumped with me in his arms. Inu popped out a minute later. I opened the door a crack to peak outside. It wouldn’t do to have someone spot my unusual guest.

When the coast was clear we went to the house. I wanted to be brave, I really did. I wanted to smile at my mother and let her know all was well in the world. But the moment that I saw her, suddenly I was five years old and I wanted my mommy. I burst into tears and ran to her arms. Suffice to say it was a least fifteen minutes before I was able to speak. Inu went to perch in the Tree of Ages. But Maru stood and witness the whole thing. Here was a person who would share it all. “Mom I have to tell you something, and I’d really like it if you didn’t say anything till I am done. Then Sesshoumaru-Sama and I will answer all your questions. Okay?”

“Two weeks ago InuYasha left in a middle of a battle to go find Kikyo. That in itself was a strange thing for him to do. When night fell, and he still didn’t return we worried about him. So I went to find him. When I finally located InuYasha he was with Kikyo and they had mated. My heart shattered and I ran wanting in vain to outrun the pain that was my life. Sesshoumaru-Sama found me just as I was about to get attacked by a bear demon. InuYasha, Kikyo, Miroku and Sango found us together. They assumed the worst and tried to attack Sesshoumaru-Sama. It was then with all of us present that I felt the disturbance in the air. Somewhere out in forest someone was working a dark spell. Sesshoumaru-Sama and I decided to go investigate and stop this menace if possible. We did locate the dark priestess Keiko and battled her. It was spiritual power against spiritual power. Meanwhile he was busy fighting off the demons that Naraku had sent. Just when I thought I could not stand another moment of pain a voice spoke to me. It offered me the power to defeat Keiko and ultimately Naraku. While that was a essential support the voice warned me that power did not come without responsibility and sacrifice. My sacrifice Momma was giving up the ability to time travel with the well. This is my last time coming home. I must return to the past to defeat Naraku or else the future will be a barren wasteland. He will lay the land to ruin and destroy civilization as we know it. The pink streak in my hair and the pink teardrop on my forehead is a marking that show I am a powerful Miko”.

When I finished my story I notice Ji-San and Souta in the doorway. By their expressions I knew that they heard everything. Cowardly moment of the day number two, I ran to my room and threw myself on the bed. When momma came upstairs she was subdued. When she sat on the bed I moved so my head was on her lap. “Momma what am I going to do? You won’t be there to see me get married, or have my first child. When I need advice on how to be a great Mom you won’t be there. For a million and one moments that I will need you, you won’t be there. I don’t think I can bear it! Sometimes I wish I didn’t have a heart so that I don’t have to feel. I’m so confused Mom. I always thought I would end up with InuYasha and now his brother is asking to court me. It’s like I went from ugly duckling to swan in ten seconds. I know Maru would try to make me happy and would protect me and any children we have, but I’m afraid to open my heart to him. What should I do?”

“Kagome” she said with her voice breaking “sometimes fate takes us down roads that we don’t want to travel. And we have to make choices that stay with us forever. I am proud to have raised such an unselfish daughter who would love the world enough to save it. And yes I won’t actually be there with you when you get married, nor have your children but I’ll be in your heart. As long as you remember me, I’ll always be with you. I will be the whisper in your heart, the voice that cheers you on and the hand that lends you strength as long as you keep me with you. You will feel my love for you until the day when you pass to the next world where we will be united. Don’t despair my dear, any great hero must make a sacrifice. Good will triumph over evil and your tale will have a happy ending. Don’t close your heart to love because you’ve been hurt. If you do you’ll have a blind heart dear. And a blind heart cannot find love. Flirt with Sesshoumaru have fun and enjoy your life it will all work out. This I promise you as your Mother”.

Suddenly I felt a great weight lift off of me. Although this was farewell it wasn’t permanent. Somewhere in some distant time or world we would meet again. I sat up and hugged her. You always know the right thing to say! You’re the best! I moved around the room looking at my stuff. What should I take? Obviously most of my clothes were out. T-Shirts, camisoles and undergarment could come. Pictures of my friends and family, a couple of my favorite books and manga comics all had to be packed. My favorite stuffed white dog plush. The blanket my mother crocheted for my bed. Mom was great she helped me pack without complaining and offering opinions and advice on what to take. Finally we were done after three hours. Mom went to her room and came back. In her hand she had a ring box.

“This was my mothers ring, and her mothers before her. It’s time to pass this on to you so that you can one day give this to your daughter. May it bring you good fortune and always protect you daughter. You have grown from a wonderful child to a beautiful and strong woman. I am proud and honored to be your Mother”. Oh shit here come the tears again. They were happy tears; I was overjoyed that my mother was proud of me. There was no higher praise for me knowing that the past four years had been for something

Letting go of everything familiar and safe is easier said than done. I sat around the table sometime later and mused that Souta would get to go to college now. And poor Ji-San would have to hire help at the shrine. We were loud and crazy but we in the end we are family. Mom prepared oden for my last dinner. Before you know it I could feel the well calling. It was time to say goodbye. Maru and Inu took the bags to the well and dropped them in carefully. InuYasha came back to hug my Mom, Souta and shake hands with Ji-San. As he held my mother close he murmured something in her ear. She smiled and tugged on one of his ears. Souta was too choked up to say much. Sesshoumaru bowed and told my mother “whenever you feel the need to know how she is doing, go to the Sacred Tree and lay your hand on it. It will let you know only basic feelings, but you will at least know how she fares. This is my gift to the mother of the Shikon Miko”

I could tell momma was a little happier. At least she would not be left completely wondering. It was my turn last. First I hugged Ji-San and told him thank you for all the tales of the past. I expressed my appreciation for him showing me a wonderful world of legends and myths. Souta and I hugged, I reminded him to treat his girlfriends with respect. And to make sure he took ancient history in college. Never knew what mention of his sister he might find. Mom was last. “Thank you for being such a wonderful and supporting mother. I was blessed by the Kami’s to have you as my mom. I will do you proud by making sure I always try my best. Domo arigato Momma” I backed away from her and bowed deeply three times. I walked away without looking. I knew in my heart if I looked back I would not have the strength to leave. I grabbed Maru’s hand without a word and jumped in.

We arrived in the past. Maru jumped out and left me by the well. He and InuYasha went up and down until all of my bags were up. I leaned over the well and felt the distinct absence of magic. Just like that I sank to my knees keening my grief, inconsolable and depressed and way beyond comforting. Poor Inu looked very alarmed! What was the use of feeling when it felt so bad to feel? I looked up to Maru whose eyes held compassion and understanding. He scooped me in his arms and took to the skies. A blur of motion at speeds humans rarely knew. I felt free, exited and elated at the same time. But where in the hell were we going?????????

Read & Review!

This was a seriously hard chapter to write! Goodbyes whether fictional or real are never easy to say! And yeah lemon, lime and some citrus ahead!

* Note this chappie was edited for quotation marks! Gomen but at three in the morning everything looks good!

Inu~Lover