The Sins of the Father

~A cozy farmhouse west of Kyoto, May 1849*~

Peaceful.

That was the only way to describe how he felt as he watched his mate hum to herself while she prepared a stew for the two of them. She was beautiful, even in profile and as heavy with child as she was. Her violet eyes sparkled with joy and happiness as she went about her task.

He couldn't help himself. He approached her slowly and snuck his arms around her.

"You shouldn't be on your feet so much, my Rin-aisai," he murmured into her hair as he breathed deeply of her scent. Only Rin could be cutting onions, and still smell of fresh spring flowers.

Rin snorted.

"Huh. If it was up to you, I'd never get out of bed at all."

"I'd like that," Shippo responded with a small grin as one hand reached up to cup one of her pregnancy enhanced breasts.

She batted at him playfully.

"Now, now. Cut that out. Honestly, kitsune libido -- no wonder why Sesshoumaru-sama gave you such a hard time for so many years."

"Hai. He'd have my head if he only knew the things I have done to his precious Rin-chan," he replied, tightening his arms around her further. He lowered one of his hands to press against her womb. After a few moments he was rewarded with a fluttering kick.

How did he ever get so lucky?

"It has been a while since he's been by, you know…"

Rin’s mood suddenly changed from flirtatious to pensive.

"Mmm?"

"Seshoumaru-sama. We haven't heard from him for a long time," she continued, as she dropped her head a bit and laced her fingers through the hand that was still against her womb.

After more than a century of being her mate, Shippo knew Rin’s body language well, and could tell that she was concerned. More than that, she was very near tears. While she had always been an emotional woman, her feelings seemed to have been heightened enormously since the onset of her pregnancy.

If there was something Shippo couldn't stand to see, it was his pregnant mate in tears.

"Shh, my love. Don't worry, koishii. I'm sure Sesshoumaru-sama will send word soon. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he showed up himself after our kit is born."

"But what if something happened to him? He knows how long we’ve wanted to have a baby. I sent him notice of my pregnancy months ago -- in fact, when we first found out. It's not like him to not respond."

While Shippo privately scoffed at the idea of anything happening to the great Taiyoukai, his mate was in obvious distress, and he needed to reassure her. So he placed a soft kiss against the side of her neck and spun her around to meet his eyes.

"Koibito, you shouldn't worry about him. He is a Daimyo, after all, and a powerful tai-youkai. No one would dare challenge him," 'and survive', he mentally added. "I'm sure he just has matters of state to deal with, and he'll come as soon as he can."

"You really think so?"

She looked so forlorn with her large, violet eyes wet with unshed tears, that Shippo felt a pain in his heart.

"Hai, my saiai, my sweet Rin. Now come here."

She wrapped her arms around him, and he tenderly stroked her back as she sobbed quietly on his shoulder.

"Shippo?"

"Mmm?"

"I love you... so very much."

"Hai, and that makes me the luckiest kitsune in all the world. Aishiteru, koishii."

They shared a comfortable moment of silence together, just holding each other, until Rin removed the binding from his hair and started running her hands through his long, auburn locks.

"Shippo-anata?"

"Aa," he replied as he nuzzled his nose against the side of her neck, smirking to himself at the shiver that passed through her.

"I..." she swallowed, "I hope that our baby has your hair, my aijou."

"Only if he has your eyes, my meito."

Her laugh was rich and musical, and it warmed his heart.

"What makes you think it'll be a 'him', saiai?"

He pulled back from her and grinned with mischief.

"Because I can smell him."

"Really?"

"Aa."

"Well, then we should name him after you, my love... what do you think of... uh... Shipponichi?"

Shippo snorted.

"Rin. I love you, I really do, but Shipponichi? Besides, I think we should name him after you... how about… Rinako."

"Now, you know that's a girl’s name, don't you?"

"Aa."

She swatted him.

"Sometimes I think you are the devil himself, my meito," she said with a smile that lit up the room. "Well, how about Shinta?"

"Shinta? Hmm...it sounds like parts of both of our names... I like it," Shippo said, and he knelt down and nuzzled his nose against Rin's belly. "Your name is Shinta, little fox, and we love you."

The salty scent of Rin's tears tore his attention away from her womb and back to her eyes.

"Daijabou, my koibito?"

"I'm fine, Shippo. It's just... you are going to be such a wonderful father, do you know that?"

He smiled and took her into his arms again.

"Perhaps... I certainly enjoyed the process of becoming one."

She blushed prettily as she averted her eyes. He giggled, and lowered his hands to cup her soft rear. Her scent spiked as he leaned in and breathed hotly into her ear.

"You know, the sex of the kit is not all that I smell. Can you not let the stew simmer for a bit?"

“But… I… I’m huge.”

“You’re beautiful, and I love you,” he said before capturing her lips in a searing kiss. “Will you leave the stew, my love?”

"H... hai... you hentai kitsune."

"And you love me for it."

~~~

~Tokyo, 2012~

They stood against the well house, staring into the distance at the modern Tokyo buildings that glistened in the morning sun. It was early yet, and there were no visitors to the shrine. Therefore, Shippo was in full kitsune-youkai form as he waited for his son to respond to his revelations and his unspoken request for forgiveness.

It was hard for him to tell his son about the quest for the Shikon no Tama, Rin's death, and his determination to avenge her. It was especially difficult to talk about how he had found Kenshin, and the actions he took to bring him into the future.

He brought his son outside intentionally, so that he could not deny the truth to his words.

His kit looked so very heartbreakingly young as he stood there, wide eyed and confused, and Shippo wanted nothing more than to take his son into his arms and tell him everything was going to be okay. But everything was not okay; not now, and maybe not ever.

Shippo closed his eyes briefly in pain.

'Gomen nasai Rin, my love. I have failed you, again. I was never the father you hoped I would be.'

His son broke the silence with his soft voice.

"I have seen nothing but death in my life. The family that you left me with died from cholera when I was just a boy. The slave traders that took me in afterwards were slaughtered right in front of me. Not too long after that, I became an instrument of death myself. I was only 15 when I became the deadliest assassin in Kyoto. Even now, the name Hitokiri Battousai strikes fear into the hearts of many. Countless people have died by my blade -- even my own wife. Her death was unintentional, but I still bear the weight of it heavily in my heart," Kenshin said.

He took a long, drawn out breath before continuing.

"After Tomoe died, a part of me died with her. I played my role in the war, but after that I buried deep the part of me that reveled in bloodshed, and made a vow to only draw my sword in defense of another. For the longest time I wandered, always humble, always repentant, seeking peace that I did not deserve. I finally found it in the company of Kamiya Kaoru."

Kenshin grimaced as his eyes narrowed into slits.

"It was a full moon that night. I knew what that meant, yet I let myself become so comfortable that I forgot to be on guard. It cost me dearly."

He turned and looked at Shippo directly.

"You should have killed me, should have let me die, but I understand why you did not. I understand it all. But I do not know if I can forgive you. I cannot even forgive myself."

Shippo nodded his head in understanding. He expected that reaction. Still, hearing his son actually say the words felt like a lance straight through his heart.

"Now, after nothing but death, my already unpleasant life takes an astonishing turn. I find out that I am a hanyou, the son of a kitsune-youkai. I have traveled through an old well to a shrine that exists in a time over a century ahead of the one that I came from. I don't remember the journey, just as I don't remember murdering those officers back at the dojo, but I now know that both are true. I accept these things, and even understand them. What I don't understand is why you would bring me here?"

"Because of Kagome. After I found and subdued you, you fell into a state of living death. You needed a miko, and Kagome was the only miko I knew of who I could trust to help you and not kill you."

"Why, exactly, did I need a miko?"

Shippo sighed.

"A hanyou has two opposing sources of energy: reiki and youki. As a hanyou, you have to be able to control both types of energy, lest they turn upon each other. You had suppressed your youki for years until the incident at the dojo, and your human side could not handle it. If I had not brought you to Kagome when I did, not only would you have died, your soul would have been destroyed in the process," he answered.

"It would not have been such a great loss. My soul is a damned one, that it is," Kenshin muttered under his breath.

As a kitsune-youkai his hearing was sharp, and Shippo's heart felt as if it had been punctured by yet another lance.

They were interrupted momentarily by the sound of a door slamming. Shippo turned his head to see Yuki, and for a moment he was lost in nostalgia. Kagome’s daughter wore a green and white school uniform, and carried a large, yellow backpack. Were it not for the scowl on her face, she could have been the Kagome he remembered in his youth.

"Strange garments the people of this time wear," Kenshin commented.

“You have no idea,” Shippo said with a smirk as he remembered some of the outfits Kagome wore during the Sengoku Jidai with fondness. She was often thought a demon herself with her indecent modern clothing, because she absolutely refused to wear the garments of a miko.

The young girl approached them, glaring at Kenshin.

"Listen, asshole. I don't trust you, and I don't like you. I have to put up with you for my mother's sake, but know this: if you harm one hair on my mother's head, I WILL kill you," she spat as she repeatedly poked her index finger into Kenshin's chest.

"I have no intentions of harming your mother, Yuki-dono," Kenshin responded, as he sent a questionable glance over at Shippo.

Yuki glared at him a moment more, before storming off, muttering things like 'asshole kitsunes' under her breath.

"Please tell me what I have done to deserve such vehemence from that young girl, Shippo-san," Kenshin asked. His eyes were narrowed and a hint of gold was visible around his pupils.

Shippo paled. This was the question that he feared the most. He buried his head in his hands and took a moment to compose his thoughts before answering. Rather than being direct, he answered Kenshin's question with another question.

"Kenshin. How do you feel about Kagome-sama?"

"..."

Kenshin was stunned into silence, and it was a good two minutes before he answered.

"I... I want her. Badly. Almost desperately, and I cannot understand it. If I were to leave right now without her, I would have an ache in my heart for the rest of my days, that I would," he answered, averting his eyes.

"And you don't understand why you have such a strong connection with a woman who was a complete stranger to you two days ago, am I right?"

"H-hai."

Shippo steeled himself for the reaction that would follow his next statement.

"That is understandable. She is your mate, after all."

"NANI??!?"

Shippo followed with an explanation of the blood bond; what it entailed and why it was performed, all the while watching his son's eyes. As schooled as he was in hiding his emotions, Kenshin had the same eyes as his mother, and Shippo recognized every single nuance as they cycled through disbelief, shock, horror, anger, sorrow, and eventually settled on resignation.

"But why? Why would she even agree to such a thing?" Kenshin asked as he fell to his knees.

Shippo winced before answering.

"She did it because Kagome has a pure heart and soul, and didn't want to see me suffer. I..I am selfish; it is one of my many, many sins, and even though I knew what it would cost her, I could not bear to watch you die."

"She... her ki is as bright as the sun. If ever I have been truly unworthy of anything in my life, it is Kagome-sama," Kenshin responded, sounding a little lost. "I... I have nothing to offer her. My soul is as black as the night, that it is."

"If that were the case, the blood bond would have been temporary. Instead, your souls compliment each other and your youkai marked her as your mate. Your subconscious recognizes it, even if you do not. If you allow her to, she could be your balance, and you, hers."

Kenshin looked skeptical, but didn't reply.

"There's a lot more to Kagome than you think, Kenshin. For even in the brightest light, there are shadows," Shippo answered cryptically as a flash of memory from the final battle with Naraku came to him.

'They were trying to keep out of the way, since the string on Kagome's bow had snapped and she only had one arrow left. He used his kitsune-bi each time one of Naraku's tentacled appendages came their way, but the hanyou was fast closing in on them. The others were also losing ground against Naraku, and things did not look good.

He heard a soft 'twang' and turned to see Kikyo fire a hamaya. When it hit, Naraku screamed in agony and rage. Naraku quickly retaliated with his own attack against the undead Miko; one she was not able to avoid. He heard a shout – “Kikyo!” – and then watched in horror has Inuyasha threw himself in front of her. Naraku's appendage pierced the hanyou straight through the heart. Inuyasha had looked straight at them as he choked out his last words...

"Live Kagome... live... and remember… always..."

Time stood still as Inuyasha fell to the ground, the Tetsusaiga slipping from his grasp. Shippo's eyes filled with tears and he turned to look at Kagome. She was surrounded by a bright pink light, and on her face was a look he hoped to never see again.

"Shippo... become a bow."'

~~~

A/N: Shipponichi - First son of Shippo. Rinako - First daughter of Rin. I know -- absolutely terrible names -- but I'm allowed to have some fun, ne? As far as Shippo's sickeningly sweet, warm and fuzzy behavior: I cannot help but think that this would be how he would act toward a mate. I justify this by how he acts with Kagome on the show. He's sweet, sometimes mischievous, often silly, but always affectionate. At the same time he's fiercely protective; even for a little guy. And we all know how he hates how Inu treats Kagome, and how he thinks Miroku's an idiot with Sango. That's the rationale for my warm and fuzzy adult Shippo flashback. That, and since the following scene was extremely heavy on the angst, I wanted to break it up a bit.

Regarding Kenshin's interaction with Shippo: I wanted people to see him as the exact opposite of Yuki. Sure, he's feeling similar emotions, but as a samurai, he's had to learn to hide his emotional state from his enemy. There's an episode in the Kyoto arc (Kenshin's first fight with Soujirou) that illustrates this very well. Therefore, when he initially faces off against an opponent, Kenshin is reserved and calculating. I hope I portrayed that. It was what I was going for, anyway. I also hope you all now understand why Shippo is so high on Kohaku's shit list ;)

FYI: If anyone's interested, I made some adjustments to the prologue so it reads better. At least, it reads better to me ;)

2/7/04 -- Wow. I got my first flame. GO ME. :)

* Kenshin's official birthday is June 20, 1849 (according to the wonderful fan site 'Let It Burn')


Japanese Words:

Aisai – beloved wife
Kitsune – fox
-sama – lord
-chan – little
Koishii – dear
Koibito – sweetheart
Daimyo – great holders of private land
Saiai – beloved
Aishiteru – I love you
Anata – beloved husband
Aa – yes (male specific)
Hai – yes
Iie – no
Aijou – love
Meito – mate
Daijabou – are you okay?
Hentai – pervert
Gomen Nasai – I’m sorry
Hitokiri – assassin
Battousai – Kenshin’s name as an assassin
Youkai – demon
Miko – shrine maiden/priestess
Reiki – spirit energy
Youki – demonic energy
Ki – life force/aura
Sengoku Jidai – Japan’s feudal era
Nani – what?
Kitsune-bi – fox fire
Hamaya – holy arrow