Before I die

Before I die

by
Goijh

Disclaimer: *Sitting in corner of padded cell hugging knees* (In a whispered sing song voice:) I'll never tell...I'll never tell...* continues to rock back and forth, eyes wide and wild looking.* Inuyasha......pas pour moi....pas pour vous...Inuyasha.......I'll never tell... *Jumps up and begins to jump up and down screaming* THERE'S SOMETHINGYOURYOUR HOUSE! ITS TAKING OVER YOUR MIND! IT'S ...IT'S...SOMETHING! *evil music sounds in background*

*as soon as scene begins its over*

*returns to corner and curls into a little ball*

I'll never tell...........


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Chapter Nine
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Kouga growled as he stared down at the monk's crumpled form at his feet. He had not intended to hurt the man, but he couldn't have helped it if he had tried. I mean, first the baka walked right into him, and then he began to GROPE his chest! How was the wolf supposed to have acted and still be able to salvage what little dignitiy that remained?
He sighed heavily. Nope, this was not going as planned. He knew that he was going to wait a day, but guilt did not rest. When he had tried to sleep in order to finish recovering his strength, images of Kagome with fear and pain flashing across her face replayed in his mind. Needless to say he failed in any attempt to smother the memories. In fact when he had tried to forget about them or deliberately ignore them, they had only gotten more graphic and come to him more often. He teetering on the egde of a steep cliff, threatening to, at any moment, plunge down into the abyss of insanity.
"Well houshi, looks like its just you and me for a little while." He said with a touch of disappointment. With his youkai senses he had already known that Kagome was not in the hut. He had not wanted to go and search for her though because he knew that Inuyasha would be with her and the hanyou would not hesitate to kill him. He had always known that the half-breed drastically surpassed him in ability, but Kagome had always been there to stop things before they got out of hand...Now he was not so sure that she wouldn't try to use her miko abilities to to to kill him herself. He had to admit that he wouldn't blame her for trying.
Kouga slumped into the corner, propping Miroku against the wall. He had hoped that he would be able to tell him where Kagome was and maybe even lead him to her so that it was at least obvious that his intentions were safe, but he had not expected the damn human to...Kouga shuddered uncomfortably as he remembered the feel of the lech's hands upon his chest. Hopefully that would NEVER happen again.
The wolf prince let his chin fall to his chest. He could smell Kagome in this room, her scent was everywhere. It was laced with pain, confusion, and exhaustion. There was one other prominent scent as well. One that was not nearly as pleasant to smell - Inuyasha's. The hanyou's aroma was drowned with worry and concern, and even some pain of his own, though not physical. Kouga had always known that Inuyasha had cared for the miko and knowing that he had been here so often, alone with Kagome, despite the fact that she had, from the t oft of her, been incapicitated, caused a twinge of jealousy to rise in Kouga.
He growled at himself in disgust. He had been doing a lot of that lately. He had no right to even think of Kagome as his woman now. She could never be his, not after what he had done to her. He had no right to be feeling any of the emotions that he was. Even though his actions had not neccessarily been his own they had placed him below even the deepest of scorn from Kagome, least of all affection.
'Kagome...' his mind whispered as he tried to call to mind her smiling face. That was all that he would ever have of her now, memories. She frowned and almost whimpered when a picture of her did mention his mind. She was not smiling, she was trying to scream. Cursing the wolf got to his feet and paced. Suddenly the hut seemed too confining, the monk and sparse furniture taking up too much room. He longed to leave the dreadful place and run until he could go no more and collapsed on the ground in blissful agony. He restrained from doing so though, knowing that if he left now he would never again be able to gather the courage to face his beloved Kagome. She needed to know how sorry he was. If only she would get there soon.
No sooner than he had thought this, he caught a familar scent on the breeze. It was not who he had hoped for, but it would have to do.

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Inuyasha caught up to Kagome effortlessly. He knew that he would be able to. After all she was only human. He trailed stealthily behind her though, not wanting her to know that he was there. He knew that she was probably quite angry, not at him though, but at herself.
He smirked as he recalled the scene that she had made, only to make a fool of herself when , after storming off, she had had to return only moments later and leave in the opposite direction. He almost couldn't surpress the urge to chuckle as the moment replayed in his head. He felt no guilt what had lead to it, that had been Shippo's fault, but his conscience was slightly tugging at him for laughing at her like that. That added with the fact that his youkai nature was demanding that he comfort and protect his mate who was upset and defenseless, had spurred him to follow her.
He knew that Kagome was probably going to the hotsprings. After all she loved hot baths, especially when she wanted to be alone or to talk to someone about something that was troubling her. Although Inuyasha would never let her know, he had sometimes secretly spied on Kagome and Sango while they bathed so that he could hear what they talked about. The subjects of their discussions was the ONLY thing that he went for. He wasn't Miroku. Everytime that he had gone he had modestly and respectfully kept his eyes averted.
Most of the time.
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Kagome stormed down the worn path to the hotsprings, her cheeks burning in humiliation. How could she have forgotten her bag like that? She just made a complete idiot out of herself, yelling at them and then having to turn around and retrieve her pack after making such a huge show. They must be laughing so hard right now at her...'Dumb Kagome! Stupid!' she thought as she made a mental note to herself to slam her head into a nice brick wall later.
She was so absorbed in cursing herself that she didn't stop to think of the fact that Inuyasha w fol follow her. In fact it wasn't until she sensed him trying to secretly shadow her that she remembered how protective he always was. Inwardly she smiled at the way thatwas was constantly looking out for her and worrying over her well-being. No matter how hard her tried to hide it, he was a softy. And she loved him for it.
She decided to let him believe that he was unnoticed in his act of espionage and instead continued to walk, face down, grumbling almost inaudibly about her being a baka. Inside though, the wheels of her mind were turning as she began to plot mischieviously. It had only been about maybe a few hours ago that she and Inuyasha had acted upon their true feelings for each other, but she found herself wanting more already, as if she had been years without the company of another being. She knew that he would undoubtedly follow her into the hotspring, though how respectful he would act, she wasn't sure. Kagome could only hope that he allowed his testosterone driven hentai side peek out in order for her plan to work.
A small smile escaped to her face as she went over the fine details of everything. She was definately going to give Inuyasha something to think about, and the thought of what it was she was giong to do, made her smile grow in likeness to one almost like Miroku's and he cheeks flush.
Inuyasha did not fail to notice the scent of her arousal beginning to hang in the air as he continued to follow her and when he saw thek onk on her face his heart skipped a beat. It was almost as if she knew that he was following her and was planning something...'Nah!' he shook it off. She was probably only thinking of....well...something else! No way could she know that she was being stalked.

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Shippo had caught Miroku's scent leading to the village and decided that as the monk was closer, he would let him know of Kagome's safety first. As he approache however, he also sensed Kaede and Sango hurrying towards the hut at a rushed pace. They saw him at about the tim time as he saw them. The worry etched into their faces was unmistakeable. Most likely they doubted the worst. The young fox was about to abate their fears when the breeze ruffled his fur and brought its adulterated essence to his nose.
Sango and Kaede jumped a little in surprise as they heard a low growl resound from the kitsune. Neither could remember him ever making such a fearful noise. They watched in faint shock as his head snapped to the direction of Kaede's hut. His lips moved to form a single word.
"Kouga."
Not needing to hear anything else to urge them to act, Sango readied her hiraikotsu and charger forward on the heels of the kitsune who had somehow figured out all that had happened. (No one had wanted to tell him what had happened between Kagome and Kouga because they thought that he was to young. Having youkai hearing though, Shippo had picked up on it as Sango and Miroku had shared a rare, civilized conversation, relating their concerns for their mutual friend.) They burst into the hut to be first greeted with the slumped body of the incapacitated monk. A sight that Kouga knew would not be beneficial to him in a few moments.
Sure enough...
"Kouga!" cried Sango as her keen eyes quickly picked out his hunched figure in the corner. Without waiting for her honors sake, she attempted to hurl her oversized boomerang in his direction. Only when she almost knocked out Kaede and Shippo in the movement of the process did common sense return to her. She decided to rush him instead.
Kouga remained in the corner, unflinching as the taijiya raised her weapon, cursing the Lady Fate that they had to serokuroku when they first came in. Now they would never help him to accomplish his goal. They would instead begin to fight him and he would be forced to defend himself. Then Inuyasha would come racing in like some kind of hero and try to kill him for attacking his comrades. Kouga then would most likely be forced to retreat and live the rest of his days in unconsolable misery due to the fact that he hadn't been able to confess to Kagome.
He would rather die.
Thus, when Sango began to charge him, he still made no move. He instead lifted his piercing, sorrow-filled, blue orbs to meet her enraged chocolate ones and awaited the pain that he knew would be soon coming. He wasn't disappointed. The hiraikotsu came down upon his head with a resounding CRACK!
Kouga groaned and covered the forming goose-egg with his hands as annoying little fire cat figures danced in front of his eyes. Moaning in pain he awaited the next blow, expecting the demon exterminator to have delivered blow after blow, unstopping. He opened one eye, leaving the other one shut tight, and peeked at the two women and the yound youkai.
None of them were making a move. Sango stood closest to him, poised for attack in case he should make any wrong move. Kaede held back, regarding him warily as she took Miroku's pulse, Shippo standing protectively in front of the two, growling malignantly at the wolf prince. Kouga smirked inwardly at that sight. 'The kit has a lot of spunk to even think that he can threaten me.' he thought as he cooly appraised the kit, meeting his eyes to let the younger youkai know that he didn't threaten him one bit.
"What the hell are you doing here?!?"
Kouga's staring contest with the kitsune was abruptly broken at the demand of Sango's. The boomerang moved slightly more into an attack posistion he ghe glared daggers at him and awaited an answer. Her code of honor was back now and unless he threatened someone or made a move as if to attack or hurt anyone, she would not kill him. She had to admit that she had been surprised when he had not reacted when she cracked him over the head. She had always used to think that Kouga wasn't such a bad guy until...a couple of days ago. Then she had just assumed that he would be out to kill all of them. She no longer trusted him.
Kouga glared right back at her. He was NOT going to let any of these people see him in such a weakened state as he atually was mentally. He instead dug in the recesses of his mind for a regal mask and put it on, careful to hide the transistion. It would not due for them to know that it was an act.
" I am here to see Kagome about something important." he stated simply and calmly. Briefly he wondered if it would have been more to his benefit to appear weak before them. Then maybe they would be less wary and more open to his cause. 'Oh well, too late now,' he sighed inwardly as he continued to meet the taijiya's cold gaze.
Sango stared into Kouga's emotionless face. It had to be a mask, but why? She had never known the wolf to hide his feelings. Now he was acting almost like Sesshomaru. It was a bit disturbing to think of the man that had once been her friend acting so much like one of Inuyasha's worst enemies. Then again they were enemies now..weren't they?
"You have no business ever going near Kagome again!" snarled Sango, though she did lower her weapon a few inches. Kouga did not ond.ond. He knew that she had every reason to act this way. He knew that she and Kagome had a sisterly bond, they thought of eachother as friends and family. The demon exterminator would do anything to defend her younger neesan. Including killing him without a second thought.
Kaede thankfully chose to break to ominious silence that hung around the hut. She had finished checking Miroku's vital signs and had detemined that more damage was usually done to him when he groped Sango. "Why did you attack Miroku?" she asked calmy, genuine curiousity in her voice.
Kouga looked away and muttered something that no one heard.
"Eh?" asked the old woman.
Kouga's cheeks were burning in humiation. So much for salvaging his remaining dignity. He didn't really want to tell them but they weren't willling to give him a choice. Slowly he turned his head aroud, letting it hang with his eyes downcast.
"He groped me." the proud prince muttered, this time just loud enough that if one strained their ears they could understand.
The reactions were comical and immediate to his response. Sango's jaw dropped to the floor before she managed to finally close it. "He...he..WHAT?!?" she cried as Kouga's words settled into her mind. Then she broke out laughing so hard that she doubled over. What had Miroku been thinking?
Shippo stared in shock at the poor youkai who looked completely miserable, slouching back to the corner where he had previously sat, tail between his legs. Feeling pity for the wolf he tried to muffle his laughter, to nto no avail. Shippo was soon rolling on the floor gasping for breath.
Kaede was the only one that seemed to control herself. She merely raised a wrinkled brow at Kouga and then, with a small twinkle of amusement in her eye, turned to leave. "I think that I shall go and gather some herbs." she announced knowing very well that no one would hear her or if they did they wouldn't care.
Kouga watched the old woman's retreating figure, wishing with all his might that he could join her and flee this humiliation. Never had a man tried to ever touch the youkai so and he found the whole experience scarring and something that he wanted to forget. If he wasn't so desperate to amend things with Kagome than he would have knocked all of them out and left to find a fight to help him forget the event. As it stood, acting upon his desires would only make everything worse. Softly he let out a distinct whimper because he knew that not even Shippo would hear it, and cowered in the corner hugging his knees to his chest.
'Dammit Kagome, Please get here..SOON.'

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"Ahhh.." sighed Kagome as she sat on the bank of the hotspring, allowing her hand to drift carelessly in the water. It was SO warm. She couldn't wait to get in and soak away her sore muscles and just relax. But first she needed to make sure that her victim was in place. Secretly she eyed the reflection in the water while she drew her finger through it, searching for any flicker of red or silver in the gentle ripples she was creating.
She frowned inwardly as she saw nothing. Maybe he was being a little slow? She let herself show a smile as she thought about how sweet Inuyasha could be. Maybe he was giving her a little room because he knew that she was upset. He wouldn't be able to stay away for long though. At least she hoped that he wouldn't.

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Author's note:

Obviously there will most likely be a lemon in the next chapter...Or at least explicit content ^_~

I know that I have been upng eng erraticly but think of this on the bright side. I haven't been leaving as many cliffies...hmmm...Though maybe I should. You know that is how most author's get lots of reviews. They leave cliffies and threaten the readers to review or no more chappies! Evil huh?

I bet you I could think of some prettyl cll cliff hangars to throw into here...*smirks evilly* And seeing as school and my oustide life have been keeping me pretty tied up lately...And how its been taking SOOO long for me to update.....I could just make a few people go mad...

Does anyone know how tempting this all sounds?

Okay pro promise to be nice...IF..and only IF...I get lots of reviews for this chapter. And I would really appreciate some suggestions on future material. Writer's block is a wretched curse. *sniffle*

REVIEW PLEASE! LOTS AND LOTS OF REVIEWS!

Goijh