Undercover Romance

Chapter 10: Let Go of the Pain

Flashback

Inside of a small sized bedroom covered with the child like desires of a twelve year old boy was Inuyasha beaming proudly at the gift he was placing his hard work into.

The moment he came home from school he immediately dashed up the stairs to begin obligating the next three hours on his present. Father had mentioned five days ago that Sesshomaru was going to do something special for someone but said to wait until he came home to let him announce the news himself. InuTaisho said since it was going to be an important day for Sesshomaru, Inuyasha came up with the idea of giving his big brother a nice token for him.

And that explained why he was busy working his fingers tirelessly creating this flawless contribution for his brother's special day. Whatever it was.

Inuyasha turned another screw into his project and twisted the last piece inside. With a final press here and turn there, it was done. "Perfect." He giggled hugging the small box to his chest. After all of his difficult concentrations and other assistance of his father, the hexagon shaped music box was done.

Along each diamond shaped aspect was the golden and silver trimmings of crescent moons the same as the one on Sesshomaru's forehead. The craftsmanship was novice at best with its bronze plates encased on the edges and tiny lights that came on inside. InuTaisho had it fixed where a key could be used to unlock the musical instrument to play a harmonized tune similar to the sweet melodies similar to when his brother sung to him was a toddler pup.

Wanting to give it a last minute test drive, Inuyasha reached for the key hidden from view in his chest drawer. The key tip was also built into the shape of a crescent moon with maroon stripes lacing around the neck stem. Every single detail was impeccably considered for the reaction he couldn't wait to see from Sesshomaru. He was sure to love it.

The moon key was stuck into the hole and turned three times before vibrating a mini hum, gradually giving a subtle glow from the clear gold and silver glass moons on the sides. The middle section expanded upward and started to rotate around in a smooth circular motion. Then the moment Inuyasha had been waiting for came…

The gentle soothing whispered chime of his favorite song…Four Seasons…

Inuyasha sighed lying his young head down on his desk, letting the calming tunes ring peacefully in his ears the same way Sesshomaru's beautiful voice did long ago.

Four scene of love and laughter.

I'll be alright being alone.

Four scene of love and laughter.

I'll be alright being alone...

Four scene of love and laughter.

I'll be alright being alone...

Four scene of love and laughter.

I will be okay.

If I meet my love, and we part,

We'll meet again, like we did before.

The sweet darkness I find

Fumbling around deep in my memories,

I can taste the sweetness of the past.

Although you're not anywhere

I'll be alright,

If I close my eyes to that,

Love won't change,

I believe

When the spring light warms, the flowers bloom

In summer, I gaze at the moon floating on the sea

The fall wind, and the winter snow

With that sigh, I wish to be warmed,

Four seasons with your love

Once again.

The promise of that only wish

Fades away when time passes.

Can you feel me underneath the skin?

If feelings again happened that way,

We'll be alright,

If I just believe,

No matter how far away you are,

Stay with me.

The spring flowers sleep as we meet in the night.

I leave a message in the sandy beaches of summer.

The fall rain, the winter tears,

With a show of love, I wish to be warmed,

Four seasons with your love

In a dream.

Time flows into my heart,

And truthfully,

Our every day is nearer to a memory,

Love and dreams may be things forgotten

one day, but, my wish is to be warmed.

Four seasons with your love,

Within my heart.

Four scene, four four seasons

Four scene, I'll be alright

Four scene, four four seasons

Four scene, stay with me

Four scene, four four seasons

Four scene, I'll be alright

Four scene, four four seasons

Four scene, stay with me

Four scene, four four seasons

Four scene, I'll be alright

Four scene, four four seasons

Four scene, stay with me

Four scene, four four seasons

Four scene, I'll be alright

Four scene, four four seasons

Four scene, stay with me

As the concluding notes brought him back from those times as a child, his ears perked and turned toward another noise he'd been waiting for since coming home. His honey colored eyes sparkled in glee as he heard those familiar footsteps coming through the front door.

Sesshomaru.

He's home.

Closing the music box shut, Inuyasha tucked the key in his pocket next to the diamond shaped locket he always kept near, and picked it up running for the door. His excitement grew with each approaching step to the stairwell. He couldn't wait to see Sesshomaru's reaction to his gift. He was going to be so surprised that he did this all by himself. (With a tiny bit of help from Father of course.) Oh well the old man wasn't there anyway so Sesshomaru didn't need to know that bit of information.

Once he got to the stairs he could see the top of the mop of long silver hair coming up toward him.

Snickering with his secret hidden behind his back, Inuyasha descended down the stairs just as Sesshomaru was coming up. About half way there he anticipated the right moment when, as usual, Sesshomaru would look up at him with his enchanting smile and say 'Hello little brother.' That would be when he'd play stupid and say I know something you don't know and then he'd—

Sesshomaru walked by him…

Inuyasha eyes became rapid blinkers as he stared at the empty space in front of him. Well that was odd. Maybe he'd did it wrong or was on the wrong step. So he jumped up pass his down casted brother until he was higher than him once more and waited for that ever predictable 'Hello Little Brother' greeting as always.

Sesshomaru went on by once more….

What the hell? Was he invisible today and no one mentioned it? Inuyasha looked at his hand then switched the box around to look at the other. Nope he could clearly see his limbs functioning like yesterday. So why was Sesshomaru walking pass him as if he weren't there? Was this some sort of new game? Nah, he was too old for peek-a-boo. Than what was the problem?

Inuyasha tucked the hand held device in his shirt and steadily followed behind the silent walking demon until going inside his room. Sesshomaru slumbled over to his desk, pulled back his chair and uncharacteristically sunk into the chair with little care of his slick stance.

Spooky. Inuyasha had never seen his brother do anything so awkward before. It was almost like seeing a green moon for the first time when you were used to observing its pale hue each night. What could be wrong with him? Did he have a bad day at work today? No if he had he would've asked Inuyasha to brush his hair as a stress remedy or mentioned he wanted to take a much needed nap. So if it wasn't that than what was the problem?

"Umm Sesshomaru?" Inuyasha called quietly as he closed the door behind him.

No reply.

Okkk maybe he didn't hear him. "Sesshomaru." Inuyasha called a little louder walking over to stay next to him.

He studied his brother's posture and grief stricken face. His eyes seemed dull and lifeless. Almost dead. What on earth could put such a foreign expression on his handsome face? "Sesshomaru? Sesshomaru?"

Nothing. He was still out of it.

Inuyasha thought maybe was now the best time to show Sesshomaru his gift if it'd help to get him out of this funk. "Hey Sessho, I made you a present." He pulled the neatly decorated box from inside his shirt and placed it on the corner of his desk. "See? See Sessho. I made it for you." The box was pushed closer to him for inspection.

Still nothing. Sesshomaru didn't even knowledge the boy's presence or the beautiful gift presented for his viewing. This wasn't the excitable response Inuyasha had hoped he'd receive. It was the exact opposite. Now he was positive that something was seriously wrong. Sesshomaru wasn't the type to be rude, ignoring others. "Sessho, what's wrong?" He asked, lightly touching his shoulder.

Still no answer. Dammit what the hell was going on with him?

"Sessho? Sessho?" He shook him a little harder trying to get him out of this sulk. This wasn't how he was used to seeing his brother. Nothing ever bothered Sesshomaru this much. Why wouldn't he answer him? "Sessho? Sessho! SESSHO!"

Sesshomaru suddenly jolted out of his chair tearing his claws into the small boy's shirt. "What the hell do you want huh? WHAT DO YOU WANT?" He growled savage shoving Inuyasha senseless.

Inuyasha became terrified at the sudden change in demeanor and quickly shook his head to save himself. "N-n-nothing. I-I just wanted to show you my p-present." He shivered at the red bleeding in the once sunny orbs of his brother. His body vibrated violently from the specular monster appearing on Sesshomaru's previously sulking face.

"Present? You wanted to show me a fucking present?" Sesshomaru shoved the smaller form against his bed and picked up the box sat on his desk. "Is this why you're screeching in my ear like some lost puppy?"

Inuyasha nervously nodded not knowing how to speak to the devil in front him as he felt tears build in his eyes.

"Do you think I care about such trivial things right now? DO YOU?"

Throat thick with fear, Inuyasha shakily shook his head with the only way he could interpret his answers.

"Then stop calling my…goddamn…NAME!" Sesshomaru's hand clinched around the music box with so much pressure it crick and twinge a struggled clangorous whine as screws popped loose, plates cracked until it was nothing more than a fist full of dismantled pieces.

Inuyasha hiccupped and whimpered at the cruel reaction he received instead of the one he'd hoped for. His gift. The one he'd put all of his heart and soul into making was sitting in his beloved brother's hand like a worthless ball of trash. Helpless drops of tears melted from his eyes as he covered his hands over his face and wept. How could Sesshomaru do that? He'd made that just for him…and he just broke it without any remorse.

Little did he know it was only going to get worse.

"You're going to cry?" Sesshomaru slammed the remnants of the mangled toy on the ground and hastened over to the bed to yank Inuyasha by his hair ignoring his painful yelp of mercy. "You're crying over a piece of junk, when there are many more important reasons to cry?" The continuous weeping forced a ripple of fury up through his veins in a cold chill as he dragged the bawling hanyou on the bed. "You're honestly blubbering over that!" He pointed to the crumpled pile on the floor. "Answer me dammit!"

Inuyasha's glassy eyes fell to the destroyed music box and cried harder.

Sesshomaru tangled his fingers into the boy's hair jerking his head backward to the point of snapping in two. "Oh so you wish to continue crying for no reason do you?"

His retort came in more hiccupped cries.

"Fine since you insist on crying over this trash, I'll give you a more a notable reason for those tears."

The next thing Inuyasha knew he was slammed face first into Sesshomaru's pillow as long claws began to rip and tear at his t-shirt and jeans. "Sesshomaru stop it!" Inuyasha yelled petrified at the brutal undertaking of his clothes.

"No you wanted to cry I'll give you a reason to cry!" Claw torn and slashed away all of what was left of the hanyou's clothes tossing them aside. "I'll give you all the reason you need to cry Hanyou!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I won't cry anymore I promise—"

Sesshomaru held the struggling hanyou down by his neck with his left hand while the other busied itself with unlatching the button of his pants. "I'll give you a reason to cry hanyou. I'll give you a very good reason."

Inuyasha's eyes widened as he felt something brushing against his bared bottom. He didn't like it. Whatever it was felt hard and big. What was Sesshomaru doing? Why was he being this way? The hanyou's vision blurred as he twisted and flailed his arms around trying to get from under his brother's hold. "Sesshomaru please! I'm sorry I'm so sorry. I won't bother you again I promise!"

Sesshomaru growled rubbing his large sex up and down the hanyou's small behind. "You wanted a reason to cry didn't you? I'll give it to you." He said in an icy toned whisper. The fleshy tip stopped dead center on the virgin entry point and slowly—

"SESSHOMARU STOP IT!"

Suddenly as if realizing where he was, a dawning fixation appeared in Sesshomaru's eyes. He blinked shaking his head to clear his ravaged mind as he looked around his room scanning the contents as if for the first time. Then his daze settled toward the muffled whimpers of—what the devil. "Inuyasha…"

He looked at the boy's nudity than back down at his erection standing at full attention. Sesshomaru's eyes grew and grew and grew until they were too big for his sockets. Inuyasha was…did he…had he…His first instinct was to sniff the air to be sure if he'd…No he hadn't. Thank God. He quickly pulled up his pants and lifted his weight off the boy's quivering form.

Seeing Inuyasha's shrived and trembling body convulse with obvious fright torn at Sesshomaru's heart. What happened? Did he do this? "Inuyasha—"

Inuyasha's eyes bugged out of his head as his shaking became uncontrollable. His cries lessened as thinking he'd be punished and balled up into a tight fetal position. He was so scared. So very frightened. He couldn't cry anymore. If he did he would get hurt again.

"Little brother I-I'm sorry." Sesshomaru whispered carefully fanning his fingers over the shivering hanyou's face.

When Inuyasha flinched away from his touch, Sesshomaru's concern transformed to worry. Please god say he hadn't hurt the boy in that way. "Inuyasha please…"

Inuyasha shook his head and quickly jumped from his brother's bed running for the door stumbling rapidly to get it open. He couldn't get it open fast enough when the object of his fears came around holding the door closed. "Please no." He cried shaking his head with frantic eyes. "No no no!"

"Inuyasha I won't harm you—"Sesshomaru said desparate for him to understand it was an accident.

"No, leave me alone!"

"Inuyasha please –"

"Leave me alone Sesshomaru!"

"Inuyasha I didn't do—"

Inuyasha panicked filled eyes glanced up to his pleading sibling as he continued shaking his head, tugging at the door knob. He didn't see his fun loving brother anymore. Only that red eyed devil trying to hurt him. "No!" He cried louder. "Let me go!"

"Inuyasha—"

"LET ME GO! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU SESSHOMARU!"

The momentary shock of those hot words shook Sesshomaru to the core, giving Inuyasha the opportunity he needed to make his escape and run to his room.

Not wasting any sort of time he closed the door and locked it tight, sliding down the cool back external door until his nude behind bumped the cold wooden surface. His arms wrapped protectively around his knees, while the events of only minutes ago directed themselves in an evil slide show in his mind.

Sesshomaru was so mean. So viciously evil. What had he done to deserve his rage? That abuse? All he did was make him a present and….and he just broke it into pieces. Then he tried to...to... How could he be so mean?

Inuyasha buried his face into his arms as much as possible to hide from the world.

He was never going to speak to Sesshomaru again. This wasn't the same brother he'd loved so dearly. This was a monster. A ferocious, heartless tyrant that called him names like…hanyou. That word stung just as bad as the near rape attack.

There was no returning back from this incident ever again…Sesshomaru wasn't his brother anymore. He was something else. Something ruthless, malevolent, evil….Someone he hated….

---

How long he stood rooted to that one spot was beyond Sesshomaru's regulation. His mind was still busy registering what he'd just heard his little brother say those three sinister words. They haunted, taunted and sung in his ears like a screeching cry of pain.

I hate you

That wasn't what he needed to hear in his time of despair. He'd lost Kagura and now it seemed he'd lost his little brother all in a single day. Why were these things happening to him? Did he not deserve happiness too? What crime had he committed in his life to receive such a sinful punishment? There was some form of deity having his fun at his expense. That was the only explanation for it.

Sesshomaru's back met against the solid foundation of his wall until settling down on the hard floor pulling his legs up to hug against his chest. This was all too overwhelming to handle at once. His beloved Kagura was taken by murder….his adoring brother taken by hatred…

As it all came to crash into his psychological mind at once his mind completely shut down and he fell to the floor…and that's how his father found him later that night…

End Flashback

... And that's when Father took him to the hospital to be evaluated from his black out.

So that explains it than.

The bitter rivalry, the twisted hatred, the boiling turmoil of confusion?

It was all his fault. All of it. Everything down to the last detail.

No wonder he couldn't recall harming Inuyasha that day. Due to the psychological overload of all the mounted stress of losing his lover, the entire murder itself and then…nearly hurting Inuyasha in the worst possible way…. He'd allowed his emotions get the better of him that day and took it out on the only person in range. But why did it have to be Inuyasha?

How was he going to make this up to the boy? He'd hurt him so emotionally... it was the entire cause of their bitter relationship as it is. All of this time they could've been still as bonded as they were years ago. And all because of his weak disposition to control his emotions he, in laments terms, fucked it up.

Inuyasha. He needed to speak to the boy. Maybe put up some type of effort at least to bridge the gap he created between them. If only a minger attempt to apologize, it would at least show his regret for creating the rift between them.

---

"Sesshomaru?"

Why was it always this way between them?

"Sesshomaru?"

Things didn't have to end this way.

"Sesshomaru!"

If only he'd held better control over his self-inflicting issues none of this would've happened.

Inuyasha's head met with a rough slap to the back, rearing him back from his melancholic thoughts. "Kagome I'm going to assume you hit me because you want to die."

Kagome smiled as if the threat weren't spoke and patting the hanyou's head. "Oh boy I was beginning to worry about you."

"Tsh you should be worrying about yourself and whether you'll be livin' the next couple of minutes." Inuyasha grumbled to himself rolling his head from side to side on his shoulders.

Kagome's smile dimmed a little as she regarded her protector carefully before speaking. "Are you and Inuyasha alright?"

"Wha—" It felt so awkward having your name repeated to you like that. "Oh yea we're fine."

She didn't believe that for an instant. "It didn't sound that way to me."

"When it becomes your business I'll ask for advice. Until then let's get back to the mug shots."

Kagome wasn't going to let the matter slide so easily. This seemed like it was more than your typical lover's spat. One way or the other she was determined to get this two back on good terms whether he liked it or not. "The scan can wait for a minute. This," She poked him in the chest. "Is more important."

Inuyasha brushed her hand way and sunk back in his chair aspirated from what he knew was about to come. Honestly what is it with chicks in wanting to solve every maternal issue that occurs? They seemed to increase in velocity when it's none of their damned business too. Nag, nag, nag.

"Come on Sesshomaru spill it. What's going on between you and your hubby?"

Inuyasha didn't care how it was spoken. Husband, lover, hubby, cuddle bug, no matter how you worded it, it all sounded gross when it concerned him and his brother. Besides Sesshomaru didn't seem like the type who could ever want a family anyway. A loving concept like that would probably send the asshole running for the hills of Japan. "There's nothing wrong. Just let it go would cha?"

Kagome shook her head, slapping raven locks on her cheeks stubbornly. "No! Not until you talk. You and Inuyasha love each other too much to let this get to you—"

Inuyasha slammed his hands on the desk startling the human girl from his behavior. "Listen could you just shut up and mind your own business lady? There's nothing wrong with me and Sess—me and Inuyasha ok?" Whew almost lost it there.

Kagome mirrored his actions pounding her smaller hands on the desk with equal force. "It is my business when all you keep doing is sulking and sighing in my ear!"

"I'm not sulking!"

"Yes you are!"

"No I'm not!"

Kagome growled shaking her head. "Ugh I give up. I swear it's like talking to child. Fine stay mad at each other for all I care. It's probably something stupid anyway—HEY!"

She complained when Inuyasha's hand suddenly found itself fisted into the front of her shirt hoisting nearly three inches from the floor. "Stupid? Stupid? You calling what that creep did to me stupid? You have no fucking idea what that asshole did to me! No idea! And you aren't going to sit there and call it stupid? Fuck you ok? You don't know shit about the shit I've been through with that man. Nothing!" He shoved her to the side and stomped over to the living room to plop heavily into the loveseat.

Stupid? What the hell did she know? There's no way she'd ever been put through what he had to endure from that jerk in the back room. How could she understand the beautiful bond destroyed in mere minutes by the sudden uncontrollable rage of one's own brother? The one you thought you could trust with your life and know would always protect you from harm. Even when that harm came from that very same person.

The hanyou groaned comforting his face in his hands. What's the point of lingering on the past when it does it cause you grief for the present? By holding on to a grudge you're not only denying yourself a pleasant present but unhappy future. Still it was hard to let such a trait go without thought.

"Sesshomaru?" Kagome called timidly, coming to sit next to him on the couch. When he didn't knowledge her, she cautiously patted him on his shoulder giving it a friendly squeeze. "I'm…I'm sorry about what I said before. You're right. It isn't any of my business what you do in your relationship. But I just want you and Inuyasha to be happy is all."

"Keh, why would you care? You barely know us." Was the muffled hand reply.

"Well, because you guys have become—I don't know—I guess friends to me and I enjoy seeing you both happy. Rather like this." She gently pulled his hands away from his face and cupped his cheek, gracing him with a supportive smile. "I won't ask about the details but maybe if you two talked than maybe you could work something out. Maybe it was all a misunderstanding."

If one could call nearly being raped by your own brother a misunderstanding. However he would give the girl credit for effort. "We'll see." Was all he could say for now. Talking to Sesshomaru wasn't on his things-to-do list tonight.

"Darling?"

Oh boy please say he didn't hear that smooth voice just direct that endearment his way.

Sesshomaru inhaled and released it through his nose at the down cast hanyou seated on his couch with the human girl comforting him. Looks like there was going to be a lot of mending on his part. With careful steps, Sesshomaru walked over toward the hanyou, silently asking Kagome to step aside and let him take her place.

Kagome obeyed but not without sending a glare his way that clearly stated, fix it or else. She patted her friend's shoulder once more before getting up and heading into the kitchen.

Sesshomaru retook her place minus touching the hanyou's slumped shoulders. He knew this would be a long stretch but he needed to try. For both their sakes or they'd never get through this.

"Inuyasha," He began in a low whisper only loud enough for their ears. "We need to talk…"

---

TBC: I know. It's a strange place to end it but my arm started hurting so I cut it off here. It seemed kind of rushed a little bit but I'll try to fix that in the next chapter. Do you think Sesshomaru will be able to coax Inuyasha into trusting him again? Stay tuned. ^_^