The Nerd

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own Inuyasha or any of the characters within the series. They all belong to Rumiko Takahashi.

Chapter 10

Wednesday Disappointments

“Have you heard from him yet?” Sango asked over the phone as she paced back and forth in front of the restaurant.

“No. He isn’t answering his cell phone either.” Miroku said from the other side. “How is Kagome holding up?” He asked concerned. Sango’s looked over at her friend who was stirring her soda with her straw slowly as she stared at it.

“She’s ok for now. I hope he is alright. I’m sure we will find him soon. I’ll talk to you later.” Sango said to him then closed her phone cutting the connection. She placed a hand over Kagome’s and patted it gently.

“I’m sure he’s ok. After all you didn’t really do anything wrong. You just left him asleep in his bed right?” She squeezed Kagome’s hand tightly. Kagome looked up at her and smiled.

“Yeah he was pretty drunk.” She swallowed hard then sighed. “Hey I’m still tired from last night. You should call Miroku back and go have some fun before you gotta go home for break. I’ll call you tomorrow.” Kagome made to stand then she looked at Sango. “Promise to call me if you hear from him ok?” She asked. Sango smiled and nodded. Kagome smiled back weakly then shuffled out of the coffee shop toward her car. This was so strange. Inuyasha was stronger then that and if he had any questions about what happened that night he would surely have called by now. Maybe he was avoiding her because he felt regret for what happened. Her heart pinched at the thought.

‘Why did she leave like that?’ Kagome frowned deeply. “Because I’m an idiot.” She knew why. Fear. She didn’t feel like she was ready for more disappointment but look what happened anyway. She knew it would hurt too much to see him look at her with the regret she was sure he was feeling now. Why else wouldn’t he answer her calls or Miroku’s. He was saving himself for someone special and that someone wasn’t her. Now because of her, his dream of being with the one he loved most for his first time was ruined. Then it dawned on her. If he didn’t go talk to Miroku then perhaps he went to see Kikyo to confess his unfaithfulness. But it wasn’t really being unfaithful considering they were pretending to be a couple and Kikyo didn’t know they were pretending. Well, she didn’t know yet. At least Kagome hoped so. She looked down at her car keys then down the street toward the restaurant where Kikyo worked. Biting her lip she got in her car and headed that way.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

‘This is stupid.’ Kagome berated herself as she sat outside the dorms where Kikyo was supposed to live. ‘Even if he is there, it’s none of my business.’ She told herself for the up-teenth time since she arrived. Just as she started her car to pull out she saw Kikyo come out of the building and right behind her was Inuyasha. He wrapped an arm over her shoulders possessively as they walked over to an older blue Toyota. She couldn’t help the pain of disappointment that stabbed her heart. She suspected this was where he was but to see it for herself hurt worse then she thought it would. She was usually smug when she was right about something but this didn’t make her feel good at all. At the moment she hated being right. She watched with blurry vision as they pulled out of the parking lot. With a shaky breath she pulled out of her spot to follow them.

Before long they pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant where Kikyo worked. She watched as they got out and again Inuyasha put an arm around Kikyo’s waist as they walked in. Kagome parked away from the door but close enough that when she got ready to leave she didn’t have far to go to get to her car. She pushed back the nervousness that welled up in her chest. She knew this moment would come eventually. It was a fantasy that he would choose her over the girl he had been in love with most his life. The funny thing was, she couldn’t figure out when he crept into her heart so deeply. When they started this, she never intended on having feelings for him beyond a friendship. How could it have changed so quickly? She shook the feelings of despair off again and hardened her heart. She had to do this. If she really cared then she had to do like they planed. For his happiness, she could do this. Slowly she stood from the car and walked toward the door.

When she entered she instantly looked over to where he always sat and sure enough there he was. No big surprise to her really. But the thought he was actually the creature of habit like Kikyo said he was, pained her deeply. She had hoped he would see through Kikyo’s deception and realize the truth. She wished he would see her as the girl he wanted for a change but she was only fooling herself. Again she shoved her feelings to the back of her heart and walked forward stiffly. Kagome stopped and looked down at him coldly unable to say anything. Just looking at him began to warm her heart enough to bring the feelings of desire and love back. It wasn’t any good to pretend, she knew that now. She had fallen in love with him and here she was, shoving him into the arms of another woman who would only use him until she was tired of him then she would throw him away. Just like Koga did her. She couldn’t do this, if she walked away now then maybe she could convince him it was wrong. She closed her eyes fighting back the tears.

“Kagome?” Inuyasha said as he stood up. Her eyes shot open as fear filled her. He couldn’t see her like this. She couldn’t talk to him while she was in this state. Everything would fall apart if she did. All the careful planning and her future. She couldn’t let herself fail now. “You won’t believe what happened. I was going to call you but I forgot my cell at home. Anyway, Kikyo called me this morning and that guy she had been seeing threatened her. She asked me to come get her. But none of that matters. We spent the day talking and she said she finally realized that she was wrong all this time and that she has always wanted to be with me but felt she wasn’t good enough. I could have cried with joy. It was like a dream come true.” He said stepping closer to her to hug her. The door behind him opened just then and Kikyo walked out with a shocked look on her face when she saw Kagome standing there. Kagome stepped back from him pushing his hands away.

“Yeah I see it all now. Even after everything we’ve been through, you’ll never change will you. You’ll always go running to her no matter who it hurts.” She said loudly getting the attention of everyone in the restaurant and pushed his hands away when he reached for her again.

“Kagome, it’s not like that. I never used you.” He snapped.

“Everything we had meant nothing to you. I was just a replacement until she came to you is that it? I can’t take it anymore like this Inuyasha. I need someone to love me and only me. You can’t have both. So I’m letting you go. Go to her and forget about me. I hope you’re happy now.” She yelled and spun around storming out the door. As soon as she was outside she ran toward her car. Just as she thought he wasn’t too far behind her. She stopped at the car door and placed a hand on it to steady herself. She forced a smile on her face and turned toward him just as he got to her. “Well I think that went good.” She smiled brightly and leaned around him to make sure Kikyo didn’t follow him. He looked at her confused.

“That was an act?” He said with a frown. She blinked as the smile fell from her face. A feeling of foreboding came over her but she refused to let it show.

“Well yeah. Wasn’t that the point behind all this? I promised to get her to notice you and you said she realized she wanted you all along. Isn’t that what you wanted?” She placed her hands on her hips glaring at him letting her temper flare to guard her own mixed feelings. He looked at her as the whole situation seemed to finally register with him.

“Oh...um...yeah.” He looked down at the ground frowning. It was what he had wanted but somehow it didn’t feel right.

“Ok well then I better leave before she get suspicious.” Kagome opened her car door. His eyes shot up looking at her with a bit of fear.

“I’ll call you next week. We’ll go hang out or something.” He caught her door before she could close it. She looked up at him with a frown of her own.

“I don’t think that would be a good idea. I’m the ex now remember? Kikyo would get upset and it isn’t worth the heart ache ok.” She closed her door quickly when his hand fell back to his side. The reality was hitting him full force now. He would never see her again.

“Yeah I guess you’re right.” He said looking away. “Then this is good bye.” His said thickly and swallowed back a sob that wanted to come out.

“Yeah, we’ll keep in touch through Miroku. Maybe I’ll see you around campus sometime. Take care.” She said softly and started her car. He stood there quietly. A lone tear slid down his cheek as he watched her pull out of the parking lot and out of his life. Kagome looked in the rear view mirror and let a sob escape her throat as she watched his still form get smaller and smaller.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sesshomaru banged on his closed door as hard as he could. “Open up shit head.” He shouted angrily.

“Go fuck yourself.” Inuyasha yelled back.

“No thanks, its more fun with a bitch now open up. Kikyo has been calling all morning.” Sesshomaru barked back. The door flew open and an angry Inuyasha stormed out.

“Tell her I’m gone for the holidays. Better yet tell her I jumped off the balcony. I don’t want to talk to her.” He snarled back as he stormed to the kitchen.

“I could help you with that if you want.” Sesshomaru said snidely.

“Kiss my ass Fluffy.” Inuyasha poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down hard in a kitchen chair putting his head in his hands.

“What has been up your ass since yesterday anyway. You’re PMSing more then usual.” Sesshomaru snorted as he too sat at the table.

“What the hell do you care?” Inuyasha laid his head down on the table.

“Normally I wouldn’t but you’re driving me insane. Why won’t you talk to Kikyo?” Sesshomaru said as he placed his hands in front of him on the table.

“Because she wants to start dating and I’m not ready to.” Inuyasha said.

“But I thought that is what you’ve wanted since junior high?” Sesshomaru questioned.

“It was but it just...doesn’t...seem...appealing anymore.” Inuyasha sighed heavily.

“Why is that?” Sesshomaru asked.

“Because I can’t see Kagome if I do.” Inuyasha replied tiredly.

“I see. Now things are making sense.” Sesshomaru stood up and walked over to the sink with his cup.

“What makes sense?” Inuyasha followed him with his eyes. Sesshomaru turned and looked back at him contemplatively. He reached into his pocket pulling something out in his fist then placed it on the table in front of his face. Inuyasha’s eyes grew large as he stared at the silver necklace with the glowing pink pendant on it. He sat up as he picked it up from the table to hold it in his hand. He frowned and looked back at his brother with narrowed eyes. “Where did you get this?” He asked holding back his anger.

“Kagome gave it to me to return to you.” Sesshomaru said flatly. “She said you should give it to someone you really care about.” He added. Inuyasha looked at it again as his eyes misted over.
“I did. When did she give this to you?” He asked holding back a sniffle from the emotion that swelled up in him.

“Yesterday morning before she snuck out on you.” Sesshomaru replied coldly. Inuyasha’s eyes shot up to meet his brother’s.

“But you said....” He started to protest but Sesshomaru held up his hand.

“You asked if I heard anything. In return I asked you if I should have. I merely answered you with another question successfully evading an answer to your question. As usual the obvious has slipped right in front of your face without you noticing. You never asked if I saw her or knew she was there. I told her I would n’t lie but that I wouldn’t offer any information either. At this point in time, I think the aggravation you are causing me with your anger management issues out weighs any promise I made her.” Sesshomaru said crudely. “Now that you have the rest of the puzzle in your hand, why don’t you go figure out where the last and most important piece belongs. But while you are trying to put this all together in that muddled mess you call a brain remember one thing. That girl walked away because she thought it was the only way to get you what you wanted most even at the risk of her own feelings. I would re-evaluate my desires after such self sacrifice.” He finished curtly as he went to his room to get dressed for the day.

Inuyasha stared at the necklace in his hand for a long time before finally getting up and going back into his room. He picked up his cell phone from the night stand and turned it back on. There were several calls from Kikyo, a few from Miroku but none from Kagome other then the one yesterday morning. His heart pinched at the thought he would never hear from her again. It hurt more then when Kikyo told him she didn’t want to date him. At least he knew he would see her again. He felt a tear slide down his cheek but he didn’t bother to wipe it away. On the other hand, Kikyo had always been there. He thought about some of those times for a minute and realized that she was only there when she wanted to be. But now she was offering to make it complete and be his girlfriend from now on. It was what he always wanted wasn’t it? He didn’t know anymore. It just didn’t seem right. He shook his head. It was time to stop acting like an idiot and go after what he wanted in life. Right or wrong, it was the only way he could put all this heart ache behind him and move on. With determination he pressed the return call button.

“Inuyasha, I’m so glad you finally called me back. I was so worried about you. Are you ok?” Kikyo’s voice came across with concern. He closed his eyes feeling a bit better hearing her voice.

“Yeah I will be but I really need to see you.” He said quietly.

“Ok. I don’t work until the evening shift. Did you want to come here or should I meet you somewhere?” She asked excitedly.

“I think we should meet somewhere. How about the restaurant where you work?” He said as he stood and started to look for his clothes.

“Yeah sure. But wouldn’t you rather come here. It’s more private.” She suggested hopefully.

“No I think a public place would be best. I’ll see you in about an hour, bye.” He said cutting off any further comments from her as he tossed the phone on his bed and walked down the hall to take a shower. ‘This is it.’ He though to himself. ‘I’ve made my decision and I’m going to stick to it.’ He reviewed himself in the mirror with a grim look. ‘For better or worse.’ He turned quickly and flipped the hot water on.