Once Upon an Inuyoukai

A/N:The muses love me right now. So sorry, I know I said I'd move faster but there's all these stories that need to be told first. Gnuh! The characters won't shut up and let me get on with the plot. Yell at them, not me.
I've had a couple glasses of Argentinian wine now, so if it's a little more... flowy... than usual, you can just laugh at me. If it's too bad, I'll rewrite it later.

Disclaimer: my wanton torture of the characters in question is not in any way condoned by Rumiko Takahashi, their owner. I make no money off of it, else she might be more motivated to assassinate me for what I do to her precious creations.
.
.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Chapter X: Crumbling Treasure
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
.
.
If I had to choose between betraying my country and betraying my friend, I hope I should have the guts to betray my country. -Edward M. Forster
.
.

If she could have torn the cruel sun from the sky, she would have. It tore through her flimsy, redveined eyelids, lancing into her brain like tiny spears. It seemed unfair somehow that she should feel this way, but she wasn't quite sure why. It must have been something in the soup... the soup.

Oh kami.

I'm hungover, she realized incredulously. That bloody green stuff... The smell and taste of the bilious weed filled her nose and mouth and her stomach heaved without warning. Blindly, she threw herself towards the sunlight, praying that she was heading in the right direction. She could hear the stone walls passing by her head with suddenly super-sensitive ears.

She would have missed the mouth of the cave by a few feet, but for a pair of very strong helpful hands, which caught her gently and redirected her.

"Oh kami," she whispered, feeling as though she'd been sat on by a dragon. "Kill me now."
"That's the second time you have asked me to do that," a very deep voice said behind her, sounding more amused than it had any right to be.

Inutaisho, her helpful mind supplied. "Unnngggghhh," she replied articulately, to his continued amusement.
"That will teach you to cook with strange plants," he said with a deeply irritating air of condescension.

She wanted to hit him, but was afraid that if she moved she'd break. Her memory was very hazy regarding the night before.

She remembered firelight, and golden eyes, and hushed speech, but little else.

What would father think? her horrified mind wailed. Mother?

She had never, ever been drunk before. A sheltered hostage, she'd been cosseted and cared for like a priceless doll-- nobody had ever let her anywhere near alcohol or any other intoxicating substances. Such as mistweed. Her rebellious stomach twisted.

Yet another horrifying thought occurred to her then. She may have never touched the stuff herself, but her memories were full of courtiers merrily sloshed and singing from rooftops, or proclaiming their everlasting love to the barmaid whose name they couldn't recall. Vividly she recalled the first time Akira had ever gotten drunk.

OoooooooO

"Can you fly?" he asked suddenly. There was a glint his eye that spoke of mischievous madness.

"Of course not! I'm human!"

The cougar boy alarmingly chose to ignore that and swept her up, leaping for the roofs with her shrieking form in tow.

"I think you can. I can! Why shouldn't you be able to, too?"

He meant it, she realized with horror. He really meant to throw her off, teach her to fly the hard way. Real terror filled her veins.

"Aki-chan! I can't fly! If you throw me off there, I'll fall and die!"

They landed, perched precariously on the lacquered red roof edge high above the courtyard. He stank of sake more with every breath.

He paused, uncertain now. "Really? Why?"

"I don't know!" she wailed, panicked. The courtyard floor spiraled dizzily beneath her, impossibly far. In her mind spun visions of the long, helpless descent and the bone-splitting crunch of the landing. She wanted to vomit. "That's just the way it is! Please, Aki, I'm afraid. Don't!"

He looked down into her pleading, teary eyes. His face crumpled alarmingly.

"I'm sorry, Iza-chan. I won't if you don't want me to. I don't ever want to hurt you."

She gasped with relief and flung her arms around his neck, whispering her thanks over and over again in his ear. Her whole body trembled. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his golden face in her hair, inhaling deeply. It was a warm night.
He stilled, then, and something in his stance changed. Inexplicably, she felt a new apprehension rising in her breast.
"I always loved your hair," he murmured, then pushed her back just far enough to reach her face. "So beautiful..." He was almost unintelligible. His sake-laden lips lowered wantonly to hers.

She froze.

Akira was her best friend, and she loved him a lot... but this was never the direction she'd seen their relationship going. He was very warm and big, wrapped around her, and she supposed it was not unpleasant, but... this was not what she wanted. Not with him.

They were still teetering on the rooftop, and Aki's balance was getting steadily worse. With all the strength she could muster, she tore her lips away. "Aki! Please, let me down. It's so high up."

And then, she shrieked as he seemed to just topple and plummet towards the courtyard, her rigid body still wrapped in his arms.They fell forever, it seemed, and she kept expecting her life to flash before her eyes. But it seemed he was still conscious, thankfully, and at the very last second he righted himself and they landed right-side up, though none too gently.

"Better?" he breathed.

His breath was making her dizzy. He was acting so strangely! Was this 'drunk?' If it was, Izayoi didn't like it at all. She nodded and pushed him away wordlessly, fleeing his swaying form until he was left far behind, still standing arms akimbo, wondering where she'd gone.

OooooooooO

"What happened?" Horrific images of her throwing herself at him with stars in her eyes swam through her muzzy head. He was excrucuatingly silent. "What did I say? Kami! What did I do?"

He took pity on her.

"Nothing embarrassing," he reassured her. "You danced, and sang, and told me stories."

She stiffened, the images of wanton lust disappearing in favour of images of graphic depictions of the horrors of her youth. In her agonized mind, she saw his repulsed expressions and heard his disgusted words. It wasn't fair, of course it wasn't, but that was the way the world worked. Honour was the catchphrase of the day, and if he knew that what little she'd had was lost to the grasping fingers of her liege lord... whatever hard earned respect she'd won from his stone facade would vanish forever.

"What stories?" Her head lifted like it was made of lead and she looked him square in the eye. "What did I tell you?" Apprehensively she searched for a hint of aloofness, a smidgeon of revulsion, that would tell her what she needed to know. But no- his eyes were calm, soft and honeygold. She relaxed, the relief almost painful. No taiyoukai would ever be able to look at a human woman with eyes like that if he knew that she was the plaything of his enemy, a toy he'd used and thrown away when she broke.

She leaned back, letting the easing of her fear wash over her in warm salty waves. She was safe. For now. A small smile twitched the small muscles of her face. For a few golden moments, everything was right with her world. Her secret was safely hidden in its cozy little cranny in the darkened back attics of her brain, and no one was the wiser.

However, taiyoukai were not very good at stability. Voice utterly neutral, eyes still soft, he casually shattered the illusion she'd been clinging to. Like saying that that grass was green, or taiyoukai troublesome.

"You told me what my enemy did to you," he said, blunt as a rock. There was no way to finesse that that would make it hurt less, so she supposed it made sense to just be clear and concise. Logically it made sense. But she was a woman, and women were not good at logic. Women were good at feeling.

And so she felt. She felt a lot. Shame, mostly. She looked at him and saw her sordid past reflected in his eyes. Why, why wasn't his expression conforming to her expectations? The disgust she could handle, she'd practiced dealing with that. Countless times, she'd played scenes in her mind where people discovered the truth and confronted her. She had a speech, damn it! But this studied neutrality, this indifference... there was nothing in her library of imagined scenes that covered that. So she curled up and started to cry.

"Why do you weep?" His voice was so gentle. Almost as if... he wasn't... but she knew the truth of that. No matter how well he hid it, she knew that underneath he was just as repulsed by what she'd allowed to be done to her, without protest. Just like all the others. Why had she ever wanted to think that he might be different? Her voice spilled out of her like vomit, sour and bilious.

"You must be so disgusted," she sobbed. "I was his plaything. And I didn't have the courage to do anything about it. I just... let him. I'm so ashamed!" She gathered herself and stumbled from the cave into the harsh sunlight. She reached out, for once not needing her crystal in the magic-saturated air, and found a hot spring near the castle. She felt dirty. Low. The water called to her, promising clean skin... if not a clean soul.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

He wrestled with himself. To follow her or not to follow her? She was distraught, and he had no experience handling a distraught woman. But if he didn't... they were in enemy territory. Her safety was not guaranteed alone and defenseless. Looking over, he confirmed that she had not even taken her dagger. It was settled then- he was following.

The one-sided conversation that had just abruptly ended played through his mind, driving him quietly mad. Didn't have the courage... must be so disgusted... was that truly how she thought? Had she honestly expected herself to be able to retaliate with her father's imminent death hanging over her head? Ryuunomei was a taiyoukai, second only to himself in power. She was a human girl. There was no comparison, and it was utterly ridiculous to think that there was anything she could have done. But he could see that convincing her of that would be next to impossible. A task for another day, he decided, unwilling to face down the enormous job today. But face it he would, eventually. No ally of his would be permitted to entertain such foolish notions if he could help it.

Her trail was easy to follow- she blundered through the brush with none of her customary grace, leaving a trail of broken twigs and crushed foliage a child could have followed. His long footprints obliterated every second print of hers, his stride was so much longer. Up ahead, he could hear her heavy, sorrow-laden breaths sucking in and out. It was truly amazing, how much suffering she put herself through over something that was not her fault. It made no sense to him... but she was human, and a woman to boot.

He caught up to her at the hot spring. It was a hollow in the mountainside, like a round scoop cored out of the stone and filled with water halfway. The low point of the bowl had a square chunk cut out to serve as an entrance, while the higher end towered over the spring like a makeshift roof. As he strode in, she was easy to spot. The image engraved itself his spirit and remained there unweathered for the rest of his days.

Like a marble statue in a palace garden pool, she stood motionless in the center of the spring under the strangely silvermisted sunlight, still fully clothed, her hair spreading around her like a dark halo at chest height. She was so pale, her marble features upturned towards the light, tears streaking silverbright. The water was perfectly still, and her upper body was reflected in the water so that she seemed not to be human, but like an image of a queen on a playing card, two torsos mirroring eachother. Totally still. Steam rose off the water and fastened like like miniscule diamonds in her hair. In that moment, she did not seem to be completely real, and he deliriously wondered for a moment if she was a spirit of some sort. But the illusion broke, before the thought could even fully form, when she sniffled and the water rippled away from her in racing loops and whorls.

"Woman..." She whirled to face him, features inhuman with crystalline agony. They held the vibrating connection of eyes, impassive and golden and waterdark and accusing, for an endless green second. Then her face folded, and she surrendered to the racking sobs that shook her.

"That's right... 'woman!'" she shrieked. "I'm not a person, I'm just a member of the female sex, there for using and toying with. Have you too come to ravish me, my lord?" Her wide, mocking eyes turned to him, and he suddenly felt inexusably cheap and common for refusing to call her by name. But her name was so... forbidden. Its very syllables sounded like caresses, and he could not bring himself to let them touch his tongue. Was he afraid she would hear something that wasn't there? Or afraid she would hear something that was, and shouldn't be? An unanswerable question.
She whirled away from him, hair floating on the water in a spreading fan of darkness. "Apparently that's all I'm good for."
His heart stretched out of its long sleep, and the motion hurt. He felt obliged to say something, anything. The pain before him was so transcendent, so divine and untouchable, he was afraid to step wrong. "No..." he started, hoping that the word was going somewhere helpful, but she shook her head violently before he could continue.

"Don't bother trying to deny it. I understand now. It's all right." Her back straightened, became rigid and fossilized. Brittle. "If that is my purpose... so be it. Do what you will."

Kami, but she sounded so defeated. Defeat and her voice did not belong together, he decided. Even if she was a human, she was going to be spending a lot of time at his side, and so he could bow to his own wishes to not be driven mad in less than a fortnight by her lugubrious attitude. This was an acceptable reason to make a human happy. There were very few, in his book.

"You are valuable to me," he admitted, not realizing it was an admission until he'd said it. But admission it was. He'd meant to say it to snap her out of her funk, but instead he'd meant it. And he couldn't decide whether that was a bad thing or not.
"Am I?" The question was so soft he almost missed it even with his demon hearing. "Why?" And that was the crux of it. He stood at the crossroads. He could either tell her the truth, that she was valuable first for her abilities and second simply because she was on his side, but he knew that was not he answer she was looking for. Or, he could tell her a pleasing lie that would make her happy, if she bought it. 'If' being the operative word. She was very perceptive, he doubted she would. So what to do? Tell the painful truth or the pleasing lie?

Once again, she took away the choice.

"Never mind. I don't want you to lie to me. If it's only for political reasons, I understand." She turned and walked out of the water right past him, pausing just past his shoulder. "Thanks for saying it though." And then she was walking into a cave he hadn't seen in the curving rock wall. He could hear her shedding her grimy clothes, and made himself turn away and walk off. But he only went a very short ways away before remembering that he couldn't leave her alone in enemy territory. So he retraced his steps and stationed himself outside the entrance to the little stone hollow. If there had been anyone in the dead forest to see, they might have marveled at the sight of the great king of the West guarding the pool where a human seer bathed. But there was no one to see.

He heard her emerge and enter the water slowly, exhaling deeply at the feel of the warm water on her skin. Then he heard her suck in a breath, in pain he thought. Her bruises, he remembered. Washing herself had to be painful. She gasped, and he guessed that she had reached her midriff, and the great yellowblack bruise he knew had to be there. He winced in sympathy. And then... he smelled the salt of her tears, and knew where she had to be now. It was affecting him more than he thought wise, but there was little he could do to change that. It was clear now that whatever indifference he had once possessed belonged to Sesshoumaru, now. Whether or not it was prudent, her pain affected him, and brought with it another new emotion- guilt. It was his fault that she was hurting. If he'd spared even half a thought, he would never have thrown her out into the hallway alone and vulnerable to the imbecilic, honourless scum that populated his domicile. But it was too late now, and so he sat and guarded her and learned what it was to feel guilt, and regret.

A sharp, bitten-back cry echoed in the small bowl and he winced in sympathy. He wondered if she wanted help. She had to be sore, reaching some of the more remote places on her back would be difficult right now. But he knew that the timing could not be worse, and so he did nothing but sit outside and keep her safe. When at last she emerged, smelling clean and wonderful once again, he merely led the way wordlessly back to the cave.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

"May I speak to you?" she asked, almost timid. They had been sitting, silent and uncomfortable, in the cave for the past three hours. He'd wondered when she would break. Humans never could stand silence. He nodded, mute permission. Even so, she did not speak for another ten minutes.

Finally..."What do you think of me, now that you know?" He wanted to roll his eyes. Of all the pointless, needlessly painful questions...

"Why do you wish to know?" Ah, an old interrogation classic- answer a question with another question.

"Because your opinion matters to me. I don't know why," she answered, unexpectedly candid.

Damn. I suppose the technique will not work then. He resigned himself to the massively unpleasant conversation he knew was coming. For a human, you are tolerable," he said honestly. Be damned if she was getting any more than that out of him.

She snorted with laughter. "'Tolerable.' How very like you. Ah well, I guess that's a sort of compliment, coming from you."

A smile twitched the corners of his mouth.

"But... that's not what I meant."

He froze. She was going to ask for the even more uncomfortable answer...

"I mean, how do you see me now that you know what I've allowed to be done to me?" He grimaced. It was time for honesty, and for once he did not feel like being blunt. She waited, expectant and high-strung with nervousness.
How could he put it without sounding like an utter sap?

If you were a demon I would admire you... she would kick him for the slight to her species. My wife would have liked you... passable, but not an answer to the question. What did he think of her? Mentally he reviewed the situation.

One- she was young, vulnerable, and a hostage for her father's honest dealings. Two- she was raised in his household, so he had ample opportunity to manipulate her. Three- his power to hers is as leaf to tree, candle to sun: no comparison. I am... ashamed for my species, that one of us could stoop so low, even if he is a dragon. Still, nothing intelligent came to mind. She visibly withered at his continued silence. Grimacing, he bit the bullet and spoke the truth.

"You did nothing wrong. What he did was honourless and low, and I recognize that there was nothing you could have done."
Salt on the air, again. Would she never be done with weeping? He inhaled deeply, bracing for what was to come. "Furthermore... I find that I have some respect for how you endured in order to save your father. You acted... honourably. More so than Ryuunomei." She stared at him, wide-eyed and uncomprehending.

"You mean... you don't think I'm disgusting?" The hope in her eyes was too bright to look at, so he looked at the dry, root-knotted ceiling instead.

"No. On the contrary, despite being human I almost admire you." There. He'd said it. Now please, leave it alone? When she said nothing, he was childishly grateful.

Long minutes later, when she'd apparently absorbed it, she sucked in a shaky half-breath. "Only almost?" she laughed, breath rattling with leftover tears. He smiled.

"Only almost."

"It's a start." His eyebrow raised of its own volition.

"Coming from me, that is high praise. You should be thankful for what you can get."

"I am," she said soberly. "But that's not to stop me from aiming higher yet, is it?" Somehow, the prospect did not seem as onerous as it might.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

A/N: Wah, I'm not sure I like this chapter. I couldn't get it to click. If you have any suggestions as to what it's missing, let me know so I can rewrite it before going on too far. But for now, I have to put it up just so I don't have to look at it anymore right now. 'Til next time.