In His Arms

All Previous Disclaimers Apply

Author's Note: Sorry the chapter took so long to get up. Please review and, as always,if you feel the need to flame, please be civil about it. Thanks!

“I feel ridiculous in all of this getup,” Kagome sighed in disgust as she looked in the mirror. She was done up in a way she had only ever seen in festivals in her own time. She looked like a geisha. Her visible skin was painted so that she was as pale as a new moon, except for a small portion on the back of her neck that was left her natural color. It was all very decorative and she normally would have been amused and pleased at how it changed her appearance, with the dramatic eyebrows and bright red lips. It made her seem very grown up and made her feel almost beautiful. Yet, she could not seem to work past the fact that she was so extremely nervous about what she knew was going to happen this evening. Not the introduction to Nishi and the dinner with Lord Sesshomaru’s court. She had had so much training from the others to that effect that she wasn’t the slightest bit concerned about that. She felt the butterflies dancing and making her feel light headed whenever she thought of what Sesshomaru had promised her would happen after the introduction to the city. This afternoon in the bathing room had been incredible. More that she’d ever thought it could be. He had shown her things that she’d only ever imagined she herself would feel. And she would be lying to herself if she didn’t admit that she wanted to learn more. That she wanted to know what the rest was. She recognized in the back of her mind that just a short time ago she would have considered herself wanton and brazen to be thinking that she wanted Sesshomaru to teach her things. Sexual things. Now, though, after training with Kaida, she recognized her craving as something every woman felt and was entitled to.

It was a strange paradox. But, Sesshomaru giving her so much this afternoon had awakened something in her. Something she hadn’t felt in such a very long time. The will to live. There was a fire in her heart that she hadn’t felt in months. For the first time since Inuyasha had disappeared she wasn’t seeing her life through a cloud. The ache she felt at not being able to hold Shippou, to tell him she loved him, was still there, but it wasn’t so all encompassing. She could move past it. Just after Sesshomaru had taught her what it could feel like she’d felt guilt about thinking how much better a lover Sesshomaru was than Inuyasha. But, somewhere between then and now, sometime during the endless preparations for this evening, the deep fog of depression she had been living in lifted. This morning when despair at her own helplessness and her unwillingness to change her position had overwhelmed her into breaking the mirror seemed like an eternity ago. A different lifetime where she had given up. She was herself again and it felt good. There were changes in her, certainly, but she preferred to think of them as growing up, rather than giving in. She no longer yearned for the life she had once had. Not even for the future. She still missed those she had once known, but she had to admit to herself that she was more content in this life than she’d been in any other.

Perhaps she was just finally seeing things as they really were. Inuyasha, the others, her son, were gone. She didn’t know what had happened to them, but she would find out. Sesshomaru would allow her to dispatch search parties to all corners of the earth if need be to find out what had happened, she knew, as soon as he realized she was not going to run. And she wasn’t planning on it. It was a relief to be in a bed every night. It was a relief not to have to constantly worry about the safety of the others around her. Nishi was the best protected city in the West. Of course, Naraku was still out there and he was still a threat to all life as she had come to know it. But, the next time she fought him, it would be with an army behind her. Sesshomaru would allow her that, as well, she knew. This was her given lot in life. And it was a good life, like the others had told her. She was surprised to realize that she was more than content in it. She was happy in it.

She would perform her duties faithfully and well so that she endeared herself to Sesshomaru and he would want to reward her. And soon, not so very far away at all, he would marry and would no longer have any use for her except as an occasional night when he would seek out her particular skills in bed. When that occurred she would request that she be allowed to complete her mission and kill Naraku. He would allow it. He would want Naraku gone as much as she did. She didn’t know how she knew, but she knew all of these things to be true. Then, she would return to the city and resume her life as the once favored, the adoptive mother of the Lord’s ward. A position of power that would demand respect and a comfortable life until she died. She was Rin’s mother, she admitted to herself. The girl thought of her as such. She thought of herself as such, and after tonight the court would think of her as such.

At the same time, she realized, her newly refound confidence and life would assure that some changes would have to be made. She would not allow Sesshomaru to keep her locked behind the gates any longer. She would be going into the city and acquainting herself with the people. And, just as she had been told, she was allowed to demand her pleasure from Sesshomaru in bed just as he demanded it from her. The thought made her blush, but not from embarrassment. From the realization that she would do so from now on. And there was no way he would be treating Rin with such a cold unfamiliarity any more. At least not behind the closed door of the palace. Not when the sweet baby loved him as much as she did. She would tell him all of this tonight. After the dinner and ceremony. She would never demand these things in public. In public she would be demure and obedient, just as she had been taught. She would give Sesshomaru no reason to be angry with her, ever. He was, after all, her lord and master, and she did want to please him as much as, if not more than, she knew she would end up annoying him at times. She knew he would be pleased with the fire in her as much as it would exasperate him and she was happy in the fact.

“You have awakened, little sister,” Etsu commented with a smile, as she tucked the final decoration into Kagome’s carefully done hair.

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean,” Kagome did not bother to hide her smile.

“Don’t you?” Kaida laughed and threw a flower blossom that had fallen from the cuttings in the room toward her, “There is a light about you that has been missing since we have known you. What happened this afternoon in the bathing room, do tell?”

“A lady never reveals,” Kagome sniffed primly, then grinned, “He was what you promised he could be. But more than that, I feel . . . I feel alive for the first time in so very long.”

“We are glad,” Hoshiko came and set a hand to her cheek, “We have wondered for a very long time what it would be like to really meet you. You’re just as sweet as the young woman we had come to love. Of course, you will be a little bit more difficult now, especially with your rumored temper. But, perhaps you will be all the more dear to us because of it.” Kagome smiled at her, and resisted the urge to rub into her hand, knowing it would muss her face. Hoshiko had become such a mother figure to her even as she had become a mother figure to Rin. Her approval and love were more important to Kagome than she could ever say.

They all looked up in surprise when the door was ripped open and Rin ran in, her clothes askew and her hair a mess. There were tears on her face as she paused just inside the door, looked around, then ran again when she spotted Kagome. A servant, looking almost as frazzled and close to tears followed her in, a comb and hair decorations in her hands. Kagome, feeling sympathy for both of them, but more for her child, knelt and opened her arms as Rin ran toward her.

“Kagome-lady! Kagome-lady! Please, tell her not to make me!” Hoshiko made a small noise of discontent from the back of her throat as Rin threw herself into Kagome’s open arms, making the rich fabric bend. Kagome, conscious of her beautiful kimono, only hugged Rin for a brief moment, then held her out at arm’s length.

“Tell her not to make you what, darling?” Cho held out a small piece of cloth that could be used as a handkerchief and Kagome took it with a grateful smile. She made soothing noises from the back of her throat as she wiped the hysterical tears away from Rin’s cheeks and clucked her tongue as she tucked a strand of the unruly, inky hair behind Rin’s ear.

“She wants to make me get into those horrible clothes so that I have to sit through the dinner. I don’t want to Kagome-lady. Lord Sesshomaru never makes me!”

“But, Mistress Rin,” Akina said quietly, trying to distract the child as Kagome moved to the young girl’s servant and told her that to bring the kimono that had been made for Rin especially for the occasion, “Don’t you like your pretty new clothes?”

“I thought that every little girl enjoyed dressing up,” Aiko commented, silently beginning to work on combing Rin’s hair. She decided on simply tying it back when Rin simply crossed her arms and pouted at the comment she made. Kagome would convince her to get into the beautiful kimono made for her, they all knew, but there would be no one able to convince her to sit still long enough to style her hair past tying it back. She was young enough, however, that it would make no difference in the eyes of the court.

“Rin,” Kagome knelt next to the young girl, “You know that this evening is very important. Lord Sesshomaru will be introducing us to his court officially. I know you have never had to sit through a state dinner. I’ll tell you a secret,” she leaned over as if to whisper a great secret, but the other women smiled as she didn’t whisper at all, “I never have either.”

“There is a game the others and I play at state dinners,” Hiroko knelt next to them and began rubbing a wet cloth over Rin’s arms, cleaning them and refreshing the young girl at the same time, “You will both have to sit at the high table, but you can play it with each other. You pick out a member of the court and you decide what animal they would be were they animals. Or sometimes we use flowers or colors. It does help to pass the time.”

Rin’s eyes went wide with mirth and she turned to Kagome, “Can we play, Mama?”

None of them were shocked at all at the term that rolled off of Rin’s lips so smoothly and Kagome just smiled and nodded, “Yes, darling. But, only if you get into your kimono now.”

Rin looked at the kimono, then back at Kagome, sighed, and nodded. They all made her giggle and forget her nerves as they dressed her and kept her entertained until it was time to leave for the dinner. As they were walking toward the great hall Kagome realized that Rin’s tantrum had not come from being a spoiled little girl who did not want to sit through a boring dinner in uncomfortable clothes while she was used to running free in next to no clothing. She should have realized it from the very beginning. Rin was not that kind of child. She had thrown a tantrum because she was so extremely nervous. Miyuki had explained to her that ever since her near death, the young ward had been nervous around crowds and people she hadn’t met. Tonight she would be confronted with both. Rin was her child, there could be no doubt about it, but things like this just served to remind her how much she still had to learn about the little girl she had claimed as her own. Rin reached out and gripped Kagome’s hand in her own as they approached Miyuki, Paru and Sesshomaru himself, waiting for them. The others continued on their way and went out of doors after taking brief moments to bow to Sesshomaru while she and Rin slowed dramatically. Rin’s grip on her hand tightened. Kagome just smiled reassuringly and rubbed the small hand in her own with her thumb.

“Good evening, My Lady,” Miyuki greeted them just before they reached the courtyard doors. The spring was just ending and the evening was cool and pleasant and so court would be held out of doors, as it would all of the summer and fall, the others had told her. The Great Gathering would be held mostly out of doors as well. Kagome tried not to be distracted by seeing Sesshomaru standing right next to the door, waiting, speaking quietly with Paru, but she couldn’t help the heat that came into her cheeks when his eyes met hers and his eyebrow quirked, displaying to her the fact that he, too, was looking forward to what would happen after all of the formalities were over. But, he didn’t know how much she had awakened to herself in these past hours. He would be surprised, she knew and pleased, she hoped.

“My Lady?” Miyuki discreetly hid her smile as she regained Kagome’s attention.

“Yes, Miyuki?” she turned back to the general and was glad once again for the thick make-up on her face. It hid the fact that she was blushing fiercely to see the knowing look in Miyuki’s eyes. A look only another woman would recognize. A look of a woman who knew what it was like to anticipate what would happen in the dark with a man, to crave it. She nodded at Kagome imperceptibly, letting her know that she approved. Kagome was confused as to why she was so relieved she had Miyuki’s approval, but hid it behind a gentle smile as she let go of Rin’s hand and the girl instead clung to her kimono.

“Do you understand what is to happen this evening or would you like to go over it one more time?” Miyuki knew that she should take Mistress Rin to Paru now. He would be presenting her to Sesshomaru and the court, but the young girl just looked so unhappy and so nervous hiding behind Kagome’s skirt that she didn’t have the heart to do so. Paru, it seemed was thinking along the same lines and strode toward them purposefully, not missing the opportunity to run his hand over his mate’s rump lovingly. He so very rarely saw her in formal clothing, she was usually in her short armor. Even though he felt like there was too much clothing on her body and much preferred the short skirt of her armor he had to admit that there was something erotic and pleasing about the yards of fabric that covered her completely and hid nothing. And he loved being able to peel layer after layer from her slowly to reveal the body he knew so well when they were in the privacy of their own room.

With a look from Kagome, just a simple raising of one perfectly arched eyebrow, he halted in his progress toward the young mistress and Miyuki had to stifle a giggle when he realized what had just occurred and that realization showed on his face. Kagome had just given him a silent order and he had obeyed it without question. She had come back to them, Miyuki realized. She had come back to them completely and had accepted her position in the castle and in Sesshomaru’s life. Truly accepted it. In every way, she was becoming the true mistress of the castle. She would be a good, strong Lady when Sesshomaru finally decided to mate her, Miyuki decided. She knew that tonight she would win over Sesshomaru’s court with the power that any demon could sense, simmering just below the surface, and her easy grace and beauty. There would be a few who would object to her purely on the grounds that she was human. But, they, the older of the court, were far outnumbered by those who were unwaveringly loyal to Sesshomaru no matter what he decided. They would not be a problem. The only problem that Miyuki could see in the near future was getting Sesshomaru to realize that it was no shame to take a human mate, especially when she was as beautiful and strong as Kagome. And if he loved her.

Love. It was the one thing that Sesshomaru had always insisted he would never feel, not in that way, not for an individual person. He loved his land, he loved his kingdom, he loved his people. He did not now, nor would he ever, love a woman in that way. The way that kept her in his mind and in his heart at all times. In the way that no matter what he did it was always with her already taken into consideration. He already loved the little mistress in that way and it terrified him, though he would never admit to either feeling. But, it was obvious in every way he treated her, the gentle way he held her, the way he would sacrifice almost anything to keep her safe. And he would begin to be more demonstrative about his affection, she knew, if the look in Kagome’s eyes in regard to Rin meant anything. She had accepted her place as Rin’s mother and would do anything now to make sure her little girl was happy.

“Mistress Rin,” Paru crouched so that his eyes were level with those of the little girl, “We’ve gone through this. I’ll carry you to the high table and present you to Lord Sesshomaru. He’ll tell everyone that you are his ward and then hold you as he accepts Lady Kagome as his favored. Then, you’ll both sit next to him for the meal. You’ll only be away from your mother for a few moments. I know you’re a big, brave girl. Do you think you can do it?”

Sesshomaru didn’t outwardly show any surprise to hear Paru call Kagome Rin’s mother, but Miyuki knew that he had to be at least a little shocked. He, after all, had not seen them around each other as much as the others had and had not seen how attached the two had become to each other. Though, with his famous logic, he would come to the same conclusion the rest of them had come to and realize that it was for the best that Rin had a mother in the castle with her. Titles, especially in a world where they seemed to be all that mattered at times, were extremely important. Having a person she could call Mother might make all the difference in if she would be raised a little heathen or a beautiful young woman and a credit to Sesshomaru.

“Yes,” Rin answered quietly, her big eyes glossy with tears that she didn’t allow to spill.

“Good girl,” Kagome smiled at her, “Go to Paru now. It will only be a few moments. And then we will play the game Hiroko told us about, hmm?”

“Yes, Mama.”

Kagome moved to Sesshomaru’s side as Paru picked Rin up and stood next to his wife so that they could try to distract their young mistress from her fear.

“She is very frightened, My Lord.”

“Yes,” Sesshomaru agreed.

“I understand that I am required to attend the entire dinner, but perhaps one of the others could take her to bed after the initial ceremony and a little of the dinner?”

“That is agreeable,” Sesshomaru gave his permission and ordered Miyuki to get the message to Aiko, who herself did not enjoy state dinners. Miyuki told him that it would be done as soon as the ceremony was complete. Without another word, Sesshomaru opened the door and swept into the courtyard and up to the high table, aptly named for the fact that it was a little bit higher than the other tables and at the very head of the courtyard where the only thing at Sesshomaru’s back was one of the castle walls. There were loyal guards who stood along the walls. They would be well fed when their shift was done without all of the formalities of the official dinner so they were not missing much by missing the feast.

“Ready?” Paru put a finger under Rin’s chin and lifted her eyes to look into his. He had had her giggling a couple of moments before, but as soon as Sesshomaru had opened the door all of the giggles had stopped. She blinked a couple of times, then nodded slowly. He kissed her cheek gently and then stepped out of the door. Kagome moved to where they had been and watched silently, wringing her hands, as Paru moved toward the high table, Rin settled comfortably on his hip. In any other ceremony, with any other child, she would have walked at Paru’s side, perhaps held his hand. But, they knew that if they had left it up to her to get to the high table she would never have made it. As it was, Kagome could see Rin physically stiffening with fear as Paru carried her past through the crowd toward the high table. But, she didn’t bury her face in Paru’s neck, nor did she look down. She kept her head held high and kept her eyes on Sesshomaru.

“She’s fine,” Miyuki murmured in her ear, “She’s doing well. She won’t have to be up there for much longer and she’ll feel much better once you’re up there with her.”

“Yes,” Kagome answered, then turned to smile at her, “Yes, you’re right.”

“Out of curiosity, as a friend, Kagome, what’s happened to you?”

“I’m not sure,” Kagome admitted quietly, turning to face her completely, “But, somehow . . . Between this afternoon in the baths and this evening . . . Something happened. Something changed. I still understand what has happened in my life, but I feel like me again. It’s so strange. If someone had told me that I would be loyal to Sesshomaru, that I would enjoy being his favored concubine, I would have purified his ass just on principal. But, I have seen him. I have seen the gentleness he can possess and I see him now, holding my little girl and rubbing her back to comfort her, though no one else would notice. I don’t know why he and Inuyasha hate each other so and it doesn’t seem to matter to me anymore because I know that if I give him my loyalty, in return he will be a good Lord to me. Some day he will allow me to search for my son and complete my mission to destroy Naraku.”

“How do you know these things?” Miyuki was only able to whisper.

“I don’t know,” Kagome’s eyes were otherworldly as she looked past Miyuki, “I just know.”

Miyuki put a hand to Kagome’s arm and was surprised to feel the wave of purifying energy that went through her. Not painful because she could sense that Kagome felt her no ill will, but strong none the less. She had truly awakened again. Miyuki could not hold back the smile. She could not have chosen a better mate for her Lord if she had created her herself. Kagome was perfect. Strong-willed and powerful, beautiful and loving. She would be the best Lady of the Western lands in many generations. She could not see it yet, but she was already half in love with Sesshomaru. And Sesshomaru was already half in love with her. He would just be more stubborn than Kagome when it came to admitting it. But, admit it he would and then he would do everything Kagome had said he would. She was very pleased. But first, of course, they had to get through the evening.

“Come, Kagome,” she nodded and stood at the door, “It’s time.”

Kagome felt as if she was in a dream as she walked, two steps behind Miyuki, down the aisle created by the low tables. The demons of the court bowed low as she passed even though she was not yet named the favored. She held her own head high and smiled in the slightest as she passed the other concubines, who were all smiling widely. When they reached Sesshomaru Miyuki bowed at the waist while she knelt and set her forehead almost to the ground.

“Lord Sesshomaru, with all humility and reverence, I, Miyuki, general of Nishi, endorse this woman to be named your favored concubine with all the rights, privileges, and responsibilities that position entails.”

“Who is this woman you have brought before me?” Sesshomaru had to fight to keep the corners of his mouth from lifting as he asked the required question.

“She is Kagome, my Lord, also known as the Great Miko.”

“And she understands what this position entails?”

“She does.”

“Let the Lady speak for herself, Miyuki,” Sesshomaru fought his smile even harder as whispers broke out around the courtyard at his break in tradition and ceremony.

Deciding to meet him on his own ground, Kagome also broke with tradition and ceremony and stood, holding herself as high as she could. She looked him straight in the eye. She was the Great Miko, after all. She smiled when he allowed himself a smirk at her boldness, letting her know that he was not angry with what could be taken as her disrespect. He was actually amused at her. Neither of them seemed to notice how shocked the rest of the court was at their display.

“I understand, my Lord.”

“Very well,” Sesshomaru looked away from her and let his eyes scan the court, “Let it be known by all who witness it now and let it be known in all the land that, I, Sesshomaru, take this woman, Kagome, the Great Miko, mother of Rin, as the most honored and favored concubine of this court. With this position comes respect second only to this Lord’s self and all citizens under that rule with abide by it.” Whispers broke out again when Sesshomaru proclaimed Kagome Rin’s mother. Rin, whom he had just taken on officially as his ward, his own child. Rin who, at the moment, still rested in his arms where she had been placed after Sesshomaru claimed her as his own. Sesshomaru sliced through the air to call for silence and the whispers ceased immediately.

“Come, My Lady Miko, and take your place at the table with your daughter. Welcome to the court of the West.”