My Happy Ending

Chapter Ten: Reflection

Ayame stared up at Kouga in abject fear. His eyes punctuated the darkness with angry flames. She hoped he wasn’t beyond reasoning. She was ironically reminded of their first mating, but her fear then was nothing compared to now. The way things stood between them, she wouldn’t be able to forgive him if he went through with his threat.

“Kouga, calm down,” she whispered frantically. Her only answer was a rumbling growl from the male above her. Okay, time for more drastic measures. Pushing ineffectively at the broad shoulders of said male, she whimpered in fear, causing him to back of a fraction. Breathing with a small measure of relief, she stared into his crimson orbs with hope.

“Kouga, please, if you do this now it will be rape. Do you hear me,” she said as calmly as she was able. Seeing the hesitant expression deep within his eyes, the hope in her chest expanded. Maybe this could be saved after all.

“I still have the right to refuse you, Kouga. The mating mark isn’t permanent. If you force me, I will never forgive you,” she whispered vehemently. She prayed silently that her entreaty would reach the rational part of his brain. She watched as crimson faded to pink. The pink began to recede from his eyes, and she was able to see his beautiful blue eyes again. Sighing in relief, Ayame finally relaxed.

Kouga stared down at the petite red-head under him in horror. What had he almost done? If she hadn’t pleaded with him, he would have forced her. He felt sick. Rearing back from the female as if burned, it stared at his surroundings in panic. What must she think of him now? If he’d had any chance of winning her back, he was sure he had none now. He raced to the entrance of the cave, intent on putting as much distant between her and himself. Her quiet voice stopped him in his tracks.

“Kouga, wait,” she cried frantically. She had seen every thought in his face and eyes as it had crossed his mind. She couldn’t let him go thinking she hated him. Was she a little frightened of him now? Yes, but she could never hate him.

“Ayame, how can you even look at me after what I almost did,” he ground out painfully. He prayed she hadn’t stopped him just to tell him how much she hated him. He couldn’t bare it. Hunching his shoulders, his back still to her, he waited for her assault. It was nothing less than he deserved.

“No matter what you almost did, I still love you. This just makes things more complicated. I could never hate you, Kouga,” she whispered sadly. She had never wanted to see this man look so beaten. It didn’t suit him. She hoped her reassurances would help to ease his guilt. Said man whirled to face her in disbelief. She couldn’t help but let a small smile grace her features.

“How can you still love me? I almost raped you,” he yelled in anguish.

“But you didn’t,” she answered back. She prayed she’d be able to get through to him. She couldn’t bear if he left here and disappeared from her life, not when she was so close to getting him back. Trust would be a major issue with them, but she didn’t want what little chance she had left to be wasted because of guilt.

“But I could have,” he threw back, “I should disgust you. Look, Ayame, I’ll understand if you want me to leave. It’s no less than I deserve. If you wish, I’ll never bother you again.” Kouga closed his eyes in anticipation for the words he dreaded to hear. Shock was a minor word for the sensation he felt when to tiny arms wrapped around his waist, a silky head of hair coming to rest on his chest. Hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around her tiny waist, praying this wasn’t a goodbye embrace.

“Of course I don’t want you to leave silly. You scared me, I’ll admit, but that doesn’t change the fact that I want us to be together. I just need a little time to think,” she whispered into his chest.

“How can you forgive me so easily,” he ground out, burying his nose into her neck and inhaling her heavenly scent. To think he’d almost lost this not once, but twice in the last month. He felt her shift and reluctantly released her from his grasp. He stared into her emerald eyes and saw nothing but love. It gave him hope.

“Give me a few days to think. I realize after this episode that our being apart is affecting you just as much as me. I’ll try to find it in my heart to come back to you,” she said quietly. Nodding silently in agreement, he led her gently from the cave. They walked in companionable silence, each lost in their own thoughts. The tension of the past few weeks seemed to melt away with the revelation that both missed the other equally as much. The future looked much brighter.

Ayame reflected on the surprising turn her life had taken in the last several weeks. It seemed ironic that she now had what she had so desperately wanted for so long, and wasn’t sure if she would take it. If someone had told her a year ago that she would be contemplating giving Kouga up as her mate, she would have laughed at them. But now she wasn’t as certain. As much opposition as they’d faced in the last four years, first with Kagome, then Kira, and finally Hotoru and the fiasco at the cave, one had to wonder if the Gods weren’t trying to tell her something.

Equally lost in his thoughts, Kouga wondered if he’d finally pushed Ayame too far. First he’d chased Kagome across the whole of Japan for four years, refusing to see what was obvious to everyone else. Then, when he’d had a perfectly wonderful thing going with his mate, Kira had shown up. The uncanny likeness to the woman he thought lost to him proved a hard temptation to resist. In the end, he’d ostracized the one woman who meant more to him than his own life. Now he’d allowed his jealousy to control him and had almost brutalized the once dearest to him. Life sure was hell.

The trek back to Inuyasha’s village was a silent and tense one. Neither knew if the future would bring happiness or heartache. Each feared what would happen. Reaching a break in the trees, their eyes feel on the quite village. Everyone was in their homes, settling down for the night. There was much to do to prepare for the coming winter. The two demons continued on to Inuyasha and Kagome’s home. Pushing the reed mat aside, they met several pairs of curious eyes.

Kagome stared at her friends with sadness. Something had happened today to make the couple distant. She knew how much this separation was hurting both demons and wished there was some way to help. Hopefully they would find the happiness they both deserved. The mated pair quietly joined their housemates around the fire, waiting for dinner to be served.

Conversation that night was scarce, everyone feeling the palatable tension between Kouga and Ayame. Dinner was soon over and the occupants prepared to bed down for the night. Alone in her room, the wolf princess’s head was filled with thoughts of what to do about Kouga. On one hand, she loved him dearly. On the other hand, she didn’t know if she could trust him to keep his word in the future. No matter how much he had shown he cared, he’d never said the three little words that would put her mind at ease. He’d never said he loved her. This last thought accompanied her into the land of dreams.


Hey guys!! Sorry it took me sooo long to update, but my computer has been almost a month without internet, and I've had writer's block. Hope you enjoy!
Sesshyluver