Texan Fun in the Feudal Era

A/N: Call off the search parties, I’m back! Hazaa!

Operation: ‘A Family Affair’


“Oh my God!” cried Kagome.

You and Inuyasha stumbled through the thick tree line, walking toward the rest of the group. Sango and Kagome had apparently returned and were standing outside of the shrine.

Miroku turned at the sound of Kagome’s distress and his eyes widened at what he saw.

You and Inuyasha had spent the last three days in the forest having sex and beating the crap outta each other. You were bleeding from numerous bite marks over your hips, neck, and inner thighs. Your legs were showing ugly yellow bruises in the shape of hand prints. Shallow cuts and welts from claw marks were all over your body.

Inuyasha was limping just behind you holding his side. He sported four broken ribs, a busted lip, cuts over his face, a bleeding ear, a black eye, an especially nasty bruise on his throat, deep scratches down his back and chest, and a sprained wrist.

“What happened?!” Kagome shrieked as she went to catch you up around the waist.

You leaned on her, hissing when she accidentally rubbed against a particularly gruesome bite on your right hip. Sango held you up on your other side and both girls carried you to the shrine steps.

You sat down heavily, wincing and holding your stomach. You were sure you were about to be sick.

Your bright blue eyes slid over to where Inuyasha was sitting, holding his ribs in pain. If you were going to puke, you knew exactly where you were aiming.

Sango leaned over to get a better look at the marks on your dark skin. You saw her gasp and whip her head in Inuyasha’s direction as though she recognized where they came from.

“There was another Hydra,” you blurted.

Dog boy barely even blinked at your lie, “Yeah, this bitch went back for her stuff and was almost eaten.”

You glared. If you were going to lie, it should at least be in your favor.

“How did you defeat it?” asked Miroku as he put some bandages on Inuyasha.

“Well it smacked us around a bit, then I think we were knocked unconscious.” you said. “When we woke up, we came back, the Hydra had left.”

You shrugged and then yelped as Kagome applied peroxide to your wounds. Sango was looking between you and Inuyasha while cleaning off the dried blood. You pursed your lips and shrugged.

Miroku eyed the scratches on dog boy’s back, “These look like they were done by human fingernails.”

Inuyasha glared at the monk, but said nothing.

“It had a rider!” you nearly shouted.

“A what?” Kagome asked.

“A rider, a smaller demon rode the Hydra,” you said.

The humans shared a look of confusion and disbelief.

Shippo and Kilala came bounding out of the shrine. The little fox made to jump into your lap with a loud “You’re finally back!”

But he stopped just short and sniffed you curiously, “You smell like sex more than usual.”


*place five second pause here*


Something must have clicked in Kagome’s head because she suddenly gasped and shot up like you had burned her.

“Y-you two…!” she yelled.

Inuyasha didn’t face her, keeping his eyes trained elsewhere. His ears went flat on his head and his lips tightened, as if he were just keeping himself from growling.

“Kagome,” Sango started softly.

The girl shook her head and closed her eyes tightly as tears streamed down her cheeks.

“You like him?” you blinked in surprise, “Wait! We didn’t! It’s a lie I tell you! A slanderous lie!”

SMACK!!!

It took a few seconds to realize that the reason your cheek stung was because Kagome had slapped it. You stood up slowly, glowering at the taller girl in front of you.

“Don’t. Ever.” you ground out.

Kagome backed up a step. She had seen your eyes glow green for a second, she was sure of it.

The silence was thick until….

“Give me your jewel shards or I will destroy you!”

You did a double-take at what you saw.

Just emerging from the dense brush was…a Hydra with a demon rider. As soon as your brain had processed this image, you tried your hardest to look like it wasn’t news to you.

Miroku grabbed his staff up, “We have to fight them away from the village!”

“Fight them with what?! Jujitsu? Tae Kwon Do? The force?!” you yelled.

Kagome was gaping like an idiot, “Y-you weren’t…its real?”

Inuyasha shot you a surprised look and you shrugged, completely dumbfounded. You stared at the Hydra as if it were going to explain itself and tell you how you were suddenly psychic.

The monster screamed from its twenty something heads, drooling globs of dark poison that splashed onto the ground. But something seemed off.

You cocked your head as the others started to attack it. For some reason you weren’t feeling the overwhelming need to pee your pants and run away screaming in terror.

It was this lapse in thought that allowed the Hydra to slam you with its flailing tail, sending you screaming high into the air.

You sailed for a good ten seconds before starting to fall, you smacked into a few hard branches on your way down, landing with a ‘Oomph!’ onto your stomach.

You stayed still for a few minutes, seething in your own little world of pain and anger.

“I remember you being much more graceful,” laughed a voice.

You blinked and opened your eyes to see a pair of hooves in front of your face. A grunt escaped your lips as two hands grabbed you up under your arms, lifting you so that your feet were dangling above the ground.

Bright green eyes met your own blue ones and you couldn’t stop the smile that spread across your mouth at the sight of them.

“Hiya Pan,” you said.

The demigod laughed again. His voice spread warmth through your body, healing the many wounds you had almost instantly. Below the waist, Pan had the body of a goat, and his little tail wagged furiously behind him as he sat you back down on your feet.

You checked yourself over; admiring the fawn’s healing powers.

“Nice,” you said.

“Well I do so love to please you,” he said flirtatiously.

You smirked as you stared at him. No doubt the guy was pretty. Yes pretty, handsome wouldn’t describe him well enough. He had the face of a cherub, with plump reddish cheeks, a small and cute mouth with full pouting lips, and large green eyes. The long and curvy horns on his forehead were polished so that they shined in the light.

He smiled even wider as he shuffled his hand through his mess of curly brown hair. The fur on his lower half was just as brown, though much shorter and less soft.

“What are you doing—” you paused.

It was well known that Pan was just as much a master of mischief as his father, Hermes. The fawn could weave perfect illusions with the aid of his pipes.

You planted your hands on your hips, “I should have known you were behind this! Hydras in Japan?! Even I’m not that dumb!”

Pan hunched over, wrapping his arms around his lean stomach as he collapsed in a fit of giggles.

“Yes! Wasn’t it fun?” he huffed out.

You narrowed your eyes.

“I’m gonna kill you!”

Pan stopped his laughter in a hurry when you pounced on him, gripping his horns as you straddled his back.

The next few minutes were a blur of hooves and feet as you kicked at one another. You managed to wrestle him to the ground with his horns as he cried out in pain.

“Ow! Stop it, that hurts!” he whined.

You snorted and let go of him, kissing him softly on his large pointed ears. He sat up and turned his back on you, sniffling loudly.

You rolled your eyes, “Oh stop it, ya big baby. I didn’t hurt you that bad.”

He wiped at his face and flopped on his back, slinging one arm over his head. You moved to sit by his side and started rubbing the base of his horns.

“You know how sensitive they are,” he said pitifully.

“Shut up, Panic.”

His mouth dropped open, “Don’t call me that! You know I hate it!”

You smiled lovingly as you kissed one horn, then the other, “There, is that better?”

Pan seemed to think for a minute, “You also hurt my lips….”

Without a pause you kissed him soundly on the mouth and leaned back, “Better?”

He blinked his wide green eyes innocently as he said, “You know, I think you also hurt my balls.”

You tilted your head back and barked out a round of laughter, lightly slapping the fawn, “Oh shut up.”

Pan sighed, “Can’t blame me for trying.”

He smirked devilishly and glanced at you from the corner of his eyes. You gave him a withering glare and looked around you. You were back at the stream, not at the spot you and Inuyasha had been, but close enough to it. You slowly turned back to the fawn beside you.

Pan was back to giggling again and you groaned.

“Please don’t tell me you were watching?” you said.

The demigod instantly arched his back and kicked up his furred legs, his face twisting into a look of bliss.

“Oh harder Inuyasha! Harder you great well-hung stallion, yes! Yes! YES!!!” he yelled out passionately.

“Well-hung stallion?” you repeated blandly.

Pan shrugged, “I couldn’t really make out most of what you were saying. You know, you’re pretty loud for someone so small.”

You rolled your eyes and flopped on your back, “I know that. Why did you have your stupid illusion toss me here?”

The fawn scooted closer to you, laying on his side so that he could look down at you.

“I wanted to see you, is that so wrong?” he said with his dazzling smile.

You snorted, “There are so many other ways to get my attention. For example: walking up and saying ‘hello’.”

Pan shrugged again as he stared at a spot on your stomach, “I didn’t want to bother your friends.”

You snuggled closer to him, “Would you stop that already? You’re not some disgusting thing that should be shunned.”

He buried his face in your hair, “You’re the only Nymph that doesn’t run away at the very sight of me.”

You pulled back and cupped his face, “I think you’re gorgeous.”

Pan snorted and kissed your palms, “Well you’re biased, dear sister.”

“And don’t you forget it, dear brother,” you said, kissing his mouth.

His little tail wagged hard as he said, “If I’m so beautiful, then why haven’t you slept with me yet?”

You stuck out your tongue, “Because we shared a mother, idiot.”

He shrugged, “Zeus and Hera are siblings.”

You rolled your eyes, “Yeah, well between you and me, I think the Greek God gene pool needs a little chlorine.”

You both laughed at this, snorting at the same time, then laughing even harder. When you had sobered, you stared at Pan seriously.

“Look, I know you’re all for tricks and stuff, but you could have really hurt people with those first two Hydras.” He opened his mouth, but you held up your hand and continued. “Now I ain’t about to tell you what to do…but I swear if you do anything like that again I’ll hurt you. Do you know how close I came to dying?! I think I actually felt the Fates about to cut my string—mmnf!”

Pan cut off your words with his lips, using the element of surprise to sweep his tongue into your mouth, quickly stopping any thoughts of protest. You turned your head to a different angle and arched your neck, sliding your own slick muscle in sync with his.

His hand drifted down to your waist, drawing patterns along your dark skin. He broke the kiss, leaving you with you dazed with your mouth still open.

Pan smiled warmly and nuzzled your throat, trailing kisses from your jaw to your collarbone.

“Dearest sister,” he whispered against your skin.

You blinked and tried to clear your mind as he leaned back, giving you time to recover from his touch. Everywhere his flesh had touched yours seemed to tingle with warmth and you hummed in pleasure.

His green eyes were soft as he watched you, but he suddenly seemed worried.

“O’Siris,” he said. “I did not call on the other Hydras that attacked you before, they were not illusions.”

You blinked and sat up in shock, “What?! Then who summoned them?!”

Pan shrugged as he stayed lying on his side, suddenly he grinned, “For once I think it’s a good thing you don’t want to sleep with me. You look like shit and you don’t smell much better.”

You growled, “Shut up! Inuyasha freakin’ used me as a chew toy!”

Pan started giggling madly again as you sniffed yourself.

‘Oh my God,’ your alter ego said, reeling from the stench. ‘How did you miss that?’

“Ick, I smell like old sex, sweat, and Hydra breath,” you said.

The fawn nodded, “And that’s just what your human nose can pick up, imagine what I’m going through right now.”

Pan watched you strip off your clothes and jump into the cool waters. He gathered up your clothing and squatted at the edge of the stream, bending to wash your bikini.

“After you bathe, are you going back to your new friends?” he asked morosely.

You glanced up, “Well yeah, you wanna come along?”

He shuffled his hooves, “No, I don’t like that great well-hung stallion much.”

You glared at him, “Then can you do me a favor and tell Kuwabara and the others where I am?”

Pan nodded solemnly. You dunked your head under the water and thus missed the mischievous grin that flashed across your dear half brother’s face.

*stares blankly at Twinkelltoez* …I honestly have no idea what to do with you. You’re kinda all over the place aren’t you? The thing on Sesshomaru is a part of his armor, the woman who created him *bows to her* said it was just going to be a small fluff of decoration that grew out of control. I’m pretty sure they didn’t have condoms then; the first ones were made out of goat stomachs, but lube? Sure. It was animal fat.

To Sky, Gothic Rose, and Snowfall: Thanks for the help ya'll! And of freakin' course I'm gonna have Lord Sesshomaru! What kind of half assed writer do you think I am?! Sy will also meet Kouga and his gang and Naraku and his peeps.


'Till next time folks!