Gotta Get Thru This

“What Have I Done?”

Disclaimer(s): I do not own anything of Rumiko’s art but my Sesshoumaru collection and maybe a couple Sango stuff, too.

Warning(s): Hordes of angst, beware. And some molestation…

A/N: Due to school and work, I have been very busy. I don’t have any R&R, no rebound, nothing. Sometimes I work 6 days in a row without a day off. I usually have over 40 hours a week and I have school five times a week, too, so that gets old fast and very tiring. I will say, though, that I will try to update at least once every week or two weeks. It really depends what’s going on at the moment.

I had to go back and skim through GGTT chapters because I forgot where I left off…then I had to put myself into Sesshoumaru’s position again, which isn’t hard at all since I can relate to him, unfortunately. So, if this chapter is…out of it, well, that’s because I haven’t had the time to write anything I’ve wanted to ((I’ve been writing Othello papers for AP English…)) and I do hope to bring you guys some new stuff, too. I think I may do a depressing one about Sesshoumaru and Naraku ((but not so AU-ish. I tend to like au’s, but its probably annoying to you guys if that’s all I do ^^, BUT the story may be a little AU because Naraku isn’t trying to kill everyone, but he’ll be trying to rule Japan, I guess…)) And Death Himself is involved, also…


To My Reviewers (and even to the lazy readers): Thanks for being patient and reviewing. I know how it’s like when you like a fanfic but the author doesn’t update it in ages, or at all. I try not to abandon fics…because I know how its like… but anyway, thanks! I think I have some new reviews that I haven’t checked, so I will read them asap and in the next chapter, I will personally thank you. Okay? Arigatou!


Sesshoumaru slowly drifted towards the hazy world of the conscious. The colors and lights soon made sense and things were less hazy, fortunately. It was four o’clock in the morning, although technically it was still night time.

He felt more than he saw a larger body lying motionless next to his own slighter body. He barely registered the nearly silent breathing of the man beside him and said male’s scent was foreign to him, yet hauntingly familiar all the same. Somehow, Sesshoumaru knew he was in deep shit.

Not only did his own body feel very raw and sore, but he no longer felt anything at all. He wasn’t upset or depressed; he was just…numb.

It felt so much worse than anything negative he’d ever felt before. He was the master at appearing emotionless, but feeling it was a first time for him, just like sex was.
‘Kami, what have I done? This…demon looks like Naraku, but his scent is different, somehow. It’s…tainted? Even more importantly, why don’t I feel anything?! I’ve never felt this way before and it’s…I just don’t like it. I’d rather be depressed. I do not know what is going on, anymore, but…Why…did I let him…?’ The Inu boy’s thoughts bombarded him right after the other. He carefully slipped out of bed after realizing he hurt far too much to move hastily.

Sesshoumaru attempted to ignore the pain as he ‘casually’ tried not to limp over to the bathroom. Eventually, he drew an exceptionally hot bath for himself. Self-consciously, he locked the bathroom door; he didn’t trust this…Naraku imposter (if that’s what he was), but he locked the door more for privacy than for his own safety.

With a low hiss, the unfeeling youth lowered himself into the scalding water. Steam rose up from the bath like it was a hot spring or maybe a pot on a stove. Since he was a youkai, the heat did not burn or faze him at all; in fact, it helped sooth his extremely sore muscles. He knew there was some blood, even though Naraku hadn’t been particularly violent or nasty with him, but that was expected since he was a virgin.

Was. He had been a virgin. No longer was he pure, in body, at least. When the demon youth realized this, he buried his head in his arms and rested his chin against the cool metal of the bathtub’s side. Like most virgins, especially ones in love (or lust), always had this dream that they would give up their virginity to the one they love. Their first was to be the one they felt so immensely for. Unfortunately for Sesshoumaru, his dream was shattered now.

‘I’m empty. He took it all away from me and I let him take it. I let him take what I wanted to…oh fuck! If father didn’t think I was repulsive before, he surely will now. I can never go home. Father will disown me in the end. It’s futile to hope he won’t. I know he will…I, I might as well save him the shame. I don’t know where I will go, but I will leave him a message so he does not have to concern himself no longer with the burden that is me. I can never go home…’ Sesshoumaru’s morbid musings were so bitter despite his apparent numbness, although he found that when he thought about InuTaishou, he started to feel again…

Sesshoumaru crawled out of the slightly pink tinted water and dried himself off. Fortunately, he had previously remembered to bring his clothes with him into the bathroom before taking a bath. He dressed as quickly as possible; unfortunately for him, the bedroom was connected to the bathroom, so he would have to attempt to sneak out without waking up the slumbering Naraku.

Of course, that had been the plan before he stepped out of the bathroom and noticed that no one was lying in the bed or even in the room, for that matter. His blood froze and for the first time in awhile, he felt pure fear. He didn’t know why he was afraid, or why he should fear this…Naraku. It was odd to him that previously, he had trusted this youkai with his body and mind, and yet, now, he felt trepidation.

‘Where did he go? Dammit, how am I going to sneak out of here if he’s up and about? I hope he’s not hiding anywhere! I’m anxious as it is! Well, at least I’m not numb anymore…’ He thought to himself as he quietly left the bedroom, his sharp eyes scanning his surroundings. When he didn’t sense any movement or any sound at all, he made his move. The adolescent youkai used all the stealth he could muster up as he ventured towards the closest exit out of the house.

As if on cue, as soon as his hand barely touched the door knob, a low, yet silky baritone slithered out from behind him.

“Where do you think you are going, Sesshoumaru?” Naraku purred; he stood three feet behind the boy, his arms crossed across his broad chest. “And you didn’t even say goodbye…”

Sesshoumaru slowly turned around and looked up at the dark-haired demon. His eyes widened slightly in surprise. “When did you get so tall? You…were as tall as me yesterday.”

“Perhaps I grew taller overnight?” The crimson-eyed man smirked and tilted his head to the side.

“No, I don’t think so. You’re an imposter. You are not the Naraku I know…” Sesshoumaru carefully backed away from him; his arms were freely in position, so they’d be ready in case he had to strike at the demon male before him.

“You are right, I admit that. I am still called Naraku. I come from…elsewhere. I assure you, I have not come across your…friend, yet.” The dark youkai’s arms dropped down to his sides and he didn’t fail to notice the defensive position his prey was in. “What’s wrong? Do you fear me, little Sesshoumaru? After all we’ve been through, you still don’t trust me?” The kumo demon hissed, his voice thick with mockery and sarcasm.

“What do you want with me? Why are you even here?” Sesshoumaru inquired, his fingers twitched; he would use his dokkasou if he had to.

“I want what any man wants. But you, what do you want? Do you want your daddy, Sesshoumaru? His name is InuTaishou, isn’t it? You talk in your sleep, you know. Are you going home now, Sesshoumaru? Is that where you think you’re going?” Naraku knew just the right buttons to press, since he was such a vindictive bastard like that.

“You didn’t answer my questions, Naraku. And no, I am not going home, ever.”

“I told you, I want what every man wants. And if you’re not going home back to you sweet little daddy, where are you going?” Naraku started to step closer; he took his time, he wasn’t in any hurry.

“I don’t know. I just need to get out of here, to think. And what’s that supposed to mean? Not every man wants the same thing!” The young silver-haired demon didn’t fail to notice the other man that slowly advanced upon him.

“You think too much, just as he does…you are both so exquisitely beautiful, but…different. He’s more guarded than you are, but ripe for the breaking…” The kumo purred; he was only half a foot away from the apprehensive youkai.

Sesshoumaru was too distracted to be bothered by how close the raven-haired demon was to him. “Both? He? Who are you talking about? You cannot be talking of my…”

Naraku cupped the silver-haired boy’s face with one hand, “No, I do not speak of your beloved daddy. As there is another version of me in this world, there is another of you. He is a bit older…and missing some parts, but he is perfection untainted and unmarked. Just like you were once. Now you belong to me, Sesshoumaru.”

“I do not quite understand how this is possible, but I do not care. All I know is I am not yours. I don’t belong to anyone…” The teenager pushed the older demon’s hand away, but only in vain. Naraku grabbed him by the shoulders and shoved him roughly against the wall. He fully pressed his larger body against the smaller body of Sesshoumaru.

“You are mine. I own you. Remember, you did give yourself to me yesterday. I did not rape you; I did not force you to do anything you did not want to. You were more than willing to become my slut and oh, you are. You’re my little slut and you always will be, unless you cross the line, boy…” Naraku hissed, his words were full of poison, but they did hold some truth in them.

“Why me?” Sesshoumaru whispered; he shuddered when he felt a tentacle snake into his pants. Even though he was disgusted by the fact he was being fondled by a tentacle of all things, it still incited the reaction that Naraku wanted to instill into him.

“Oh, because you are so responsive and so submissive, kitten. I do not know if Lord Sesshoumaru is responsible, but oh, how he fights everyone…as if he were dominant. I will soon change that, of course. Don’t be jealous…I only wish to merely break him…” Naraku whispered into the inu youkai’s ear as he nibbled and tongued it. He abruptly pulled away from the aroused younger male. He smirked to himself; it was so easy to turn the boy on. Perhaps it was puberty or maybe this Sesshoumaru was naturally that easy.

“Now, go to the bedroom. I want you fully naked and on your back, spread-eagled by the time I come up there. Understand?” Naraku, still close enough, tilted the boy’s chin up so he would be looking at him.

“Yes.” Sesshoumaru said with his eyes downcast; he pushed past the older male and disappeared into the hallway.

Naraku watched him go with a triumphant look on his pale face. ‘One bitch down, one more bitch to go…’ He pondered to himself. The kumo was about to turn away and follow his ‘bitch’, but he was halted by the sound of the doorbell.

‘Oh…we have company, do we? I wonder who it is…?’


TBC


Oh…looks like we have a cliff hanger here…oh my… ?