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October 16, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Wow i really like plotplot of this story. It's very very good. One suggestion though... please think about your words alot more before you use them. As an example you used the word Facade for Face.. But facade is more like a fake face. Also watch out for clinical terms.. Kissing stops being romantic and intriguing when you describe their mouths as "oriffices". I dunno if you're using a thesaurus or what but just watch out more about the words you use. Also watch out for your decriptions, simesimes they are really confusing, such as "he turned into a night's being human" I don't understand that sentence at all, but that may just be me.
In anycase i must say again that it is a wonderful story and I hope you don't take the critisicm personally. i can't wait to read the next chapter!
In anycase i must say again that it is a wonderful story and I hope you don't take the critisicm personally. i can't wait to read the next chapter!
schedule
September 4, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Alright I'm ready for more of course. So update as soon as possible thanx you!
schedule
August 31, 2003 at 12:00 AM
BlueSaiyanChick,
All 3 chapters were very well written, addictive, and of course I think extra lemony. please continue dont leave us hanging at the end. peace.
All 3 chapters were very well written, addictive, and of course I think extra lemony. please continue dont leave us hanging at the end. peace.
schedule
August 30, 2003 at 12:00 AM
u should make the next chapter because the 3rd one was the bombs the foreplay was exiciting and the Sango and Miroku thing is funny make the next chapter more enticing put something very hmmm let me c intriguing in the ritual evil there we go
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August 30, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Awesome story!!! You really have a very nice, vivid writing style! A few errors, just typos and such, but none that really stood out... anyway, can't wait to read more!
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August 30, 2003 at 12:00 AM
AWWWWWWWWW......What a EVIL cliffy!!!! :)
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August 29, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Wahhhh!
The lemon! The lemon!
Update soon, please.
The lemon! The lemon!
Update soon, please.
schedule
August 29, 2003 at 12:00 AM
I liked this chapter.u tou totally caught me off guard with the hair changing thing. Not to mention the under water cave. I really like this fic! keep going!
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August 25, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Read the second chapter. I can't wait for the next chapter. This was exciting, excillerating, .........I can;t even explain it. Great fic and write chapter 3!! Go!
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August 24, 2003 at 12:00 AM
maybe you can work on writing a nar/kag/inu
lemon. because i don't see any of those out
there. at first i thought you were headed in that direction when
naraku showed up. but i didn't expect all that other stuff.
wow..big shockers.
very cool.
lemon. because i don't see any of those out
there. at first i thought you were headed in that direction when
naraku showed up. but i didn't expect all that other stuff.
wow..big shockers.
very cool.