schedule
October 8, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Welcome Back! I loved this story when you started it, and am anxiously awaiting a new chapter. Update soon please.
schedule
October 8, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Good to hear about your man!! YAY!! Please update soon! Please? And let Serena's pet be Darien...*sniff*
schedule
October 5, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Okay... I'm sad this fic gets such good reviews and such a high rating.
First of all... you seriously need to proofread. At one point, you're screwing up the -names-. (Who's Sierra? Because in the middle of sex, Kagome seems to have been transplanted!) Also, you leave sentances completely unfinished... I don't even know if you mean to or not, because there's simply no punctuation. And you have a big tendency to typo (to for do) and then not fix them. It's nonsensical, and makes this damned difficult to read.
That might be bearable... but additionally, there's no real plot. Or if there is, we haven't seen it yet, and you're at chapter five. (By the way, your chapter names make me want to stab something. Pick a format and stick with it.) And youaracaracterization... have you -seen- the series or read it at all? Because only Sesshomaru has even the vaguest semblance of his original personality.... and that's stretching it. :/
Add to that -- the sex isn't sexy, it's ludicrous. "almost swoon at the power mantingting between his legs?" o.o; Who almost passes out from seeing penis? I mean... god. It's almost like a parody. :/
This isn't a flame, btw :P Flames are personal attacks on the writer, not critiques of the writing itself. You can feel free to delete this, if you want... however if you're at all serious about writing, I suggest that you start at -least- having someone beta-read your fics.
First of all... you seriously need to proofread. At one point, you're screwing up the -names-. (Who's Sierra? Because in the middle of sex, Kagome seems to have been transplanted!) Also, you leave sentances completely unfinished... I don't even know if you mean to or not, because there's simply no punctuation. And you have a big tendency to typo (to for do) and then not fix them. It's nonsensical, and makes this damned difficult to read.
That might be bearable... but additionally, there's no real plot. Or if there is, we haven't seen it yet, and you're at chapter five. (By the way, your chapter names make me want to stab something. Pick a format and stick with it.) And youaracaracterization... have you -seen- the series or read it at all? Because only Sesshomaru has even the vaguest semblance of his original personality.... and that's stretching it. :/
Add to that -- the sex isn't sexy, it's ludicrous. "almost swoon at the power mantingting between his legs?" o.o; Who almost passes out from seeing penis? I mean... god. It's almost like a parody. :/
This isn't a flame, btw :P Flames are personal attacks on the writer, not critiques of the writing itself. You can feel free to delete this, if you want... however if you're at all serious about writing, I suggest that you start at -least- having someone beta-read your fics.
schedule
September 13, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Gurl, I'm behind u all the way!!
I hope that the slut causing all this trouble would stop, cause it sounds like u and ur b/f are tight.
Hope he's out soon....get a GOOD lawyer, if it gets down to going to court.
I totally support u if they've got no evidence.......the INJUSTICE!
And still he's in jail?
I hope that the slut causing all this trouble would stop, cause it sounds like u and ur b/f are tight.
Hope he's out soon....get a GOOD lawyer, if it gets down to going to court.
I totally support u if they've got no evidence.......the INJUSTICE!
And still he's in jail?
schedule
August 24, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Awesome story so far! and I really hope your b/f is gonna be ok, man; I would have kicked that bitch's ass!
schedule
August 23, 2003 at 12:00 AM
You have my sympathy. I know for a fact that the justice system can be bias and major bitch to deal with. The best of luck with the bitch and the justice system.
Story: This story reminds me, in a way, of the Amazons. Supposedly they had a society socially organized in that males were the housekeepers and caregivers and females were the huntresses. I like it, but I think that your story can use a bit of refining. But all in all I really find this story entertaining. Keep going when you have the time. Ja!
Story: This story reminds me, in a way, of the Amazons. Supposedly they had a society socially organized in that males were the housekeepers and caregivers and females were the huntresses. I like it, but I think that your story can use a bit of refining. But all in all I really find this story entertaining. Keep going when you have the time. Ja!
schedule
August 22, 2003 at 12:00 AM
I'm so sorry to hear about you b/f... that's terrible! I can totally understand your hiatus. Anyways im loving the story & cant wait for you to come back and update some more! I have never seen this plot... its so different adn interesting... cant wait to see where you take it. Good luck with ur b/f & i'll be waiting for more updates!
schedule
August 9, 2003 at 12:00 AM
update soon!! please!!
schedule
July 27, 2003 at 12:00 AM
You are such an evil woman!!! Here's your review. Now update please. ^__^
schedule
July 26, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Wah!! You cut it the there!! NO!!! NO!!! *sniff* Update please? *looks up with puppy dog eyes*