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July 12, 2003 at 12:00 AM
You need to do some major work on your grammar, spelling, and overall structure of your chapters. Also, you should leave out the author's comments that are throughout the chapters. Holy, ly, most of what you have written makes no sense.
You should try to make your sentences flow, instead of being jumbled together. Imagine that you are reading a book, and try to pick out the mistakes you have made. Perhaps if you view it as something other than what you have written, you can see the errors. (
Lad
You should try to make your sentences flow, instead of being jumbled together. Imagine that you are reading a book, and try to pick out the mistakes you have made. Perhaps if you view it as something other than what you have written, you can see the errors. (
Lad
schedule
July 12, 2003 at 12:00 AM
That was an evil cliffhanger!!!! Write more!! :)
schedule
July 2, 2003 at 12:00 AM
its Kikyou, not Kikuyu ....
hm...formatting was a bit messy but overall pretty good. Very OOC on Kagome's part, some OOC in everyone else ...
well good luck writing more~
hm...formatting was a bit messy but overall pretty good. Very OOC on Kagome's part, some OOC in everyone else ...
well good luck writing more~
schedule
July 1, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Finally Kagome becomes a hard ass! Update soon, This story is really good so far.
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June 29, 2003 at 12:00 AM
since im not getting many reviews i want it to look like i am so you guys will read. I'm going to kill Inu-Yasha in this story.....oooooooooppppppppsssssss!!!
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June 28, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Ooh, yeah, Kagome should really kill Inuyasha >) Can you feel my love for Inuyasha? *snickers* *chants* Kill, kill, kill... Okay, so that probably won't happmakemakes mental note for new fic* but...I like this so far, you can never go wrong with Inuyasha screwing up and Kagome getting mad (^_^)