AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for La Isla Bonita

by YaminoYume14

schedule January 25, 2018 at 12:00 AM

awesome so far..loving it!! Will you be coming back to finish the story?

person sluka
schedule June 23, 2017 at 12:00 AM

Well, I hope you get this review, since sometimes my computer doesn't allow me to post them or there is an error:

 

I am loving the storylineand obviously the Rin/Sessh pairing.  Cannot wait to read more! =)

person sluka
schedule June 23, 2017 at 12:00 AM

P.S. You definitely were not joking about things getting dirty fast, haha.  Dying to read more!

schedule June 6, 2017 at 12:00 AM

This is wonderful! I like the way you write, and it's fun to see Rin walk circles around Sesshomaru; she doesn't have to run, just walk, lol. I can't wait for chapter 3!

schedule May 5, 2017 at 12:00 AM

I kudos-ed and left a silly, meme-ish comment on this story on AO3, so I'll leave a more fleshed-out comment/review here.

Things I like:

1. Good chapter length.  I think each of the two chapters so far is about 5,000 words long, so it's hardly a drabble.

2. Good grammar.  Most, if not all words all spelled correctly, and I like how you use "daiyoukai" instead of "taiyoukai."  

3. Use of italics, bolds, and center-align.  You had the presence of mind to apply these features to your text.  In the case of the center-align, this was an AFF-specific consideration, as the text box for posting work doesn't seem to recognize center-align formatting from MS Word.

4. Very naughty interaction between Sesshomaru and Rin.  I like how you get right into their sexual relationship and I look forward to reading what do they do with each other in the future.

Thank you for writing!