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October 21, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Please please please update soon love it.
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October 18, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 7 drew out much dark plotting in this story. The first section on Sango's punishment seems to have thrown Sesshoumaru's character off a little as the great dog demon doesn't usually care for torture unless he wants to get something out of it. Eg. In the animation the only time Sesshoumaru truly considered (emotional) torture was when he used Jaken's idea to conjure Inuyasha's 'mother' to gain access to Tessaiga.
Also, anyone whom he deems to stand in his way is usually obliterated and not tortured.
While I can understand the cruel punishment Sesshoumaru has install for Sango through Katsutoshi it is important to emphasize the reason he has considered such an option. After all, he treasures his mate and understands that Sango is someone important to Kagome. To keep the story in line especially since your earlier chapters show that the initial reason for Sango's appearance was to sooth/settle his mate, then his anger is really toward the deed (of the failed escape) and not truly toward Sango. ie. if it was an unknown servant that had assisted in the escape (instead of Sango) then Sesshoumaru would have the person executed instead of letting the person endure torture through rape - which is a very personal form of physical/emotional/mental suffering.
Perhaps another way to present it to the audience is that 'the dog demon was keen to have Sango's death to pay for the suffering of his mate and pups but decided to consider Katsutoshi's opinion only because he knew his mate's attachment to the taijiya. To keep her from death was a small mercy he would show the demon slayer because of her connection to his mate. Also, to ensure main character if not seen as sadistic, it is important to show that Sesshoumaru has no interest in the type of punishment - only that he is aware that she is punished - otherwise it becomes too personal and too out of character for him. As a Lord he should be able to simply trust Katsutoshi (as a specialist in the arts of torture) and not need to be personally involved.
From the second and third sections of chapter 7 it seems that something will soon be unfolding in the later chapters - from Kagome's disappearance to Sesshoumaru's increase in power.
From the last section - of Sesshoumaru having a necklace made for Kagome, this seems a bit off. As the necklace is a form of control it seems to portray that Sesshoumaru does not have the ability to control her and has to resort to the assistance of a dark miko. It may be incorrectly interpreted as an insecurity on his part and that Sesshoumaru does not have the confidence of winning her heart through his own merits.
Through the chapters he has been relatively confident in his ability to protect/provide for Kagome so might be worthwhile to expand on how he is going to do this ie.(after revealing himself as her mate) to spend more time to settle her, provide things that are familiar to Kagome to pacify her anger toward him, etc.
There might be too much of a 'control' factor in this chapter - you have to be careful to not let this dull the story.
Chapter 8 was much calmer than 7. It is nice to see the dog demon get back to grooming and caring for his mate. I also liked that he had not yet put the necklace on; especially when she has not presented as a threat to him/his household thus given him no real reason to put that on her neck (yet). In fact it might even be a little twist to later chapters that after he had painstakingly commissioned the making of the necklace, instead of using it he destroys it in front of her as an act of good faith and love for her. Actions do speak louder than words after all!!
The killing of Miroku was a bit abrupt but I understand the reason for not having all the main characters exist in the later chapters. Might actually have been better if he was 'accidently' killed off when being captured and brought to the Western palace.
Looking forward to chapter 9!
Also, anyone whom he deems to stand in his way is usually obliterated and not tortured.
While I can understand the cruel punishment Sesshoumaru has install for Sango through Katsutoshi it is important to emphasize the reason he has considered such an option. After all, he treasures his mate and understands that Sango is someone important to Kagome. To keep the story in line especially since your earlier chapters show that the initial reason for Sango's appearance was to sooth/settle his mate, then his anger is really toward the deed (of the failed escape) and not truly toward Sango. ie. if it was an unknown servant that had assisted in the escape (instead of Sango) then Sesshoumaru would have the person executed instead of letting the person endure torture through rape - which is a very personal form of physical/emotional/mental suffering.
Perhaps another way to present it to the audience is that 'the dog demon was keen to have Sango's death to pay for the suffering of his mate and pups but decided to consider Katsutoshi's opinion only because he knew his mate's attachment to the taijiya. To keep her from death was a small mercy he would show the demon slayer because of her connection to his mate. Also, to ensure main character if not seen as sadistic, it is important to show that Sesshoumaru has no interest in the type of punishment - only that he is aware that she is punished - otherwise it becomes too personal and too out of character for him. As a Lord he should be able to simply trust Katsutoshi (as a specialist in the arts of torture) and not need to be personally involved.
From the second and third sections of chapter 7 it seems that something will soon be unfolding in the later chapters - from Kagome's disappearance to Sesshoumaru's increase in power.
From the last section - of Sesshoumaru having a necklace made for Kagome, this seems a bit off. As the necklace is a form of control it seems to portray that Sesshoumaru does not have the ability to control her and has to resort to the assistance of a dark miko. It may be incorrectly interpreted as an insecurity on his part and that Sesshoumaru does not have the confidence of winning her heart through his own merits.
Through the chapters he has been relatively confident in his ability to protect/provide for Kagome so might be worthwhile to expand on how he is going to do this ie.(after revealing himself as her mate) to spend more time to settle her, provide things that are familiar to Kagome to pacify her anger toward him, etc.
There might be too much of a 'control' factor in this chapter - you have to be careful to not let this dull the story.
Chapter 8 was much calmer than 7. It is nice to see the dog demon get back to grooming and caring for his mate. I also liked that he had not yet put the necklace on; especially when she has not presented as a threat to him/his household thus given him no real reason to put that on her neck (yet). In fact it might even be a little twist to later chapters that after he had painstakingly commissioned the making of the necklace, instead of using it he destroys it in front of her as an act of good faith and love for her. Actions do speak louder than words after all!!
The killing of Miroku was a bit abrupt but I understand the reason for not having all the main characters exist in the later chapters. Might actually have been better if he was 'accidently' killed off when being captured and brought to the Western palace.
Looking forward to chapter 9!
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October 16, 2013 at 12:00 AM
This I hope ends differently then another one "he steals her away out of love" sorta thing. I mean, miroku is dead, haven't seen little shippo, and sango is going to a brothel. Hell Kagome should be on a rampage after all this. I mean even a kind soul can only go so far. Poor kags, he loves her and demon love is different then human love I suppose but even he has to realize he is going to push her into madness. YOUR DOING A GREAT JOB SO FAR KEEP IT UP!!!! YOU ROCK!!!
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October 14, 2013 at 12:00 AM
I am usually a big fan of the Sess/Kag pairing. I typically root for them to find some common ground and have a happy ending. Not this time! Is Sessomaru completely delusional? I want karma to kick his butt so hard.
Not only has he sentenced Sango to a terrible fate, but now Miroku is dead. I know he did not personally kill him, but he was responsible considering he was the one who kidnapped the monk.
For me though, the most disturbing part was him raping Kagome in her sleep and then basically congratulating himself on how he is such a good mate.
I think Sessomaru and his captain of the guard should have to spend some time working in a brothel. Maybe then they would see how sick they are.
I can't wait for the next chapter.
Not only has he sentenced Sango to a terrible fate, but now Miroku is dead. I know he did not personally kill him, but he was responsible considering he was the one who kidnapped the monk.
For me though, the most disturbing part was him raping Kagome in her sleep and then basically congratulating himself on how he is such a good mate.
I think Sessomaru and his captain of the guard should have to spend some time working in a brothel. Maybe then they would see how sick they are.
I can't wait for the next chapter.
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October 14, 2013 at 12:00 AM
ha ha i loved the ending ! you sliced the pervert in half i love it! the monk just throw his life away for a women who was doomed to die anyway how bitter sweet. i like how dark this story is and how there are twists and turns you don't expect. this is wonderful and i thank you for writing this .
please please update again soon i cant wait to read more
please please update again soon i cant wait to read more
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October 14, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Great story! I can't wait to read more, but poor Miroku and Sango, hopefully it will get better for them.
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October 13, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Sesshoumaru does not seem to understand that he not only has he hurt Kagome in a far more personal manner than even Naraku but that her nightmares could very well be of him and not Naraku. It is almost sad at how deluded he is on this little fantasy he see's kagome and himself living. Was wondering why Miruko hadn't been using his wind tunnel but that explains it and damn I hope he is not dead for good. If so there is going to be a reckoning lol.
-waits patiently for next chapter-
-waits patiently for next chapter-
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October 10, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Love this new chapter. There is so much dark plotting here.
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October 7, 2013 at 12:00 AM
I love it keep going this story is amazing.
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October 7, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Great story! But I can't see Sango ending up in a brothel. Sesshomaru must see the error of his ways or else I don't think it will be right for Kagome to forgive him. I liked Sesshomaru up to this recent chapter now I feel the situation is getting messier and messier.