rate_review Reviews

I have to admit i was a little disappointed reading chapter 2. Skipping forward fifteen years put you at a disadvantage from a writing perspective. It made it so that you had to explain their whole life as father and daughter in a flashback segment, which isnt a problem with preestablished characters; however, when you are putting in an oc character (daughter) it makes itdifficult for the reader to relate to her. We are told about her, and we see relatively little from her. Also be careful of the mary sue curse... especially when making offspring from two well loved characters it is easy for us to fall into the trap of just taking qualities we like and forgetting that they need to be relatable.

One thing I liked was your segment on Inuyasha giving birth to her. I have read many mpreg fics that assume it would be easy... i like that you made it bloody and tough.

And i know you have already had reviews on this so it might be a little overkill... but why the name Emily Mary? I dont have a problem with you giving a name that isnt japanese. I have many friends who are japanese with very dull sounding americsn names. What gets me is that the names dont roll off the tongue easy. Try screaming it like your going to yell at a kid and you will know what i mean. I would shorten it to either emily or mary so that it is more belevable that inuyasha would actually call his daughter that.

And hell yeah sesshomaru should be pissed! If i was in his shoes i would want to kill inuyasha for not telling me. All of inuyasha's excusses for not telling him that he is a father are really immature and damn hurtful. (And this us after you did a phenomenol job showing that inuyasha grew up in the first chapter).

I feel bad for sesshomaru in this fic. Talk about the ulitmate betrayal.

I am excited to see where you will go with this. I wouldnt give you such a long review if i didnt think it was worth the read, so please dont be discouraged!

Happy writing!

oh what's Sesshomaru going to do? Love the 2nd chapter. looking forward to more

I am glad that you finished your 'appointment' with the doctors, as for myself I hate being sick or in the hospital for longer than one day.

Now to your new chapter:
Thank you so much for the new chapter! It is great. I can really see how a female inu combined with modern-woman-needs would end up like. I hope her meeting with her other father won't be to traumatic.
By the way, why did you choose that name for her? I thought you would pick something more regal like 'Giselle', 'Beatrice' or 'Lorelei'.

An amazing beginning. With this chapter you have definetely made the first hurdle, that many fail to write. I enjoyed the fact that your characters are still linked to the original characters and that your story follows the original events of the series. These stories tend to be the best and this little piece of art will definetly belong to those as well if you keep that style up.
The only flaw I found was Inuyasha's use of coarse language. He is more colourful, so perhaps you should try to find different ways for him to cuss to his hearts content (I know I am evil for making you go over such things ^^).

I cannot wait for you to continue what you have begun. But I have a request to you. Would you mind to load your story onto the site 'Fanfiction.net'? this story should be shared with the masses and on this site its easier to follow updates!

Happy to see you posted a second chapter. The next chapter is going to be fun... Will Sesshomaru imediately know she is his daughter or is he going to be all pissy with Inuyasha for "cheating" with someone else?

Omg, can't wait to read
more

Finally an update! I'm really sorry to read that you had been unwell. I hope that everything is fine now as well as in the future.
This was a really nice chapter except for one thing... The name of their daughter: "Emily Mary"... ... ... I kinda cringed at that name. Sorry.

Since this is a Fanfiction, I would assume that you can get away with anything, according to the setting you give to your story... But, since Inuyasha is a story written by Japanese author and treating topics inherent to Japanese history and folklore, I would suggest that, at least, you try to keep the name of the characters - new ones - faithful to the background of the author and characters.
You exposed pretty well the reasons why Inuyasha decided to settle in the USA instead of Japan, is acceptable. But there is no reason why a Japanese born during the Sengoku period (16th Century) would call his daughter with a name who has no relationship whatsoever with his background, history or culture (I understand that you like the name though).

I can assure you that Japanese people are pretty fiery when it comes to preserving their traditions and values; in fact the reason why Japan is both such a peculiar and unique place is because even though they embraced the West following the forced opening of their ports in 1854(due to fears of ending up like China, which at the time was being ransacked by England, France and Germany; and knowing that they had no chance against e Western World superpower), they preserved their traditions. Specially regarding the internalization of Confucian values which determine their behavior, unless they are overly westernized (I'm finishing my bachelor's degree in Japanese language and culture, most of my teachers are Japanese, I should know).

Having said this I hope you don't misunderstand my comment, I don't mean to offend you or disregard your story, I really like it. I just wanted to point out the discrepancy of the daughter's name in relationship to a Japanese background.

I wish you well in your recovery and hope to read more of your fic.

Araiht

Great story. Great start. I hope it is more than a one shot.

Damn. Just damn. This was a great lemon; I really do hope there's a bit more to this little ditty! I loved it! Great job!

-DM

Love it. I wonder how inuyasha feel about sesshomaru leaving