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September 9, 2015 at 12:00 AM
I think I have read this story about 3 times over the years and I keep coming back to it. I absolutely love it! Love the way you write; the interactions between the characters; the romance; the way you built the wolves' society; even love your OC's. I am sad that the Omega died, and so tragically and senseless. He was such a cutie :(
Choshi-baba was great! And such a closet pervert it's delightful. The old lady had to get her kicks somehow lol
Anyway, thank you so much for sharing this story with us. I know i will be rereading it again in the future for sure. I love finding new things in it with every read :D hugs
Choshi-baba was great! And such a closet pervert it's delightful. The old lady had to get her kicks somehow lol
Anyway, thank you so much for sharing this story with us. I know i will be rereading it again in the future for sure. I love finding new things in it with every read :D hugs
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September 30, 2013 at 12:00 AM
I completely agree with the poster "Yahnkehy" above. I figured that you lost interest in your story and rushed to finish it. As you keep up your writings try not to do this. Your readers are happier to wait on a story than to be given something rushed and poorly written. Also, mature readers are not reading for just the romance and sex scenes. I was reading for the plot above all things. Try to find beta readers who have top level grammar skills and can actually do the work. This will only improve your writing, I promise you. It would be nice to see you do a revision of this to sort out plot holes, incorrect words and grammar, and to expand on parts that were incomplete. But because this is fanfiction it is a good way to practice.
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May 6, 2013 at 12:00 AM
I realize that this story is well over two years old and that it's marked 'complete'--even though there is far too much left unresolved for it to even be half over yet--but I'd like to humbly offer some advice. Whether you accept it or not is your choice.
When you sign on with a beta reader, ask them to mark their corrections in a different color so that you can see the changes made and can confirm that they did actually beta read the chapter. I say that because there are still a multitude of errors--grammatical, spelling, punctuation and continuity--in the chapters that had been "beta read". Ruff(to point out one that made me frown in confusion) doesn't mean "not smooth" it's the frill of hair on the back of an animal's neck, right below their skull. Rough, however, *does* mean 'not smooth'. Confirming the corrections a beta has made is key to correcting the mistakes in your own writing so that you don't keep making the same mistakes.
Youki is the power the demons wield. Youkai is what the demons *are*. His youkai couldn't be upset, because he *is* the youkai and they don't see halves of themselves, the same way we can't sit back and see dad's half, or mom's half. It's just us, no parts or pieces that have more control than another. However, his *youki* can be upset, since it's the primal power throbbing inside the youkai. It can react on an instinctual level to outside stimulus, the same way you can get a bad feeling about something, just a little more intense.
The story line is adorable. It's cute and a little campy in places, but an adorable little story. I'm just trying to figure out who the characters are. Inuyasha, while he might be insecure about his place in the world due to the trials he's faced, isn't the kind of character who would simply go "Oh, so because this asshat (who I've never even spoken to before) suggests that I leave, I should just walk out without a word or backward glance." He'd more than likely have joined in with the fight and jeered at the idiots who were *rebelling* against their alpha and signing their own death warrants. To cross the alpha means death, because if the alpha can't trust his underlings to follow orders then that is a weakness that could cause the entire pack harm. If you can't trust your guards to support your orders (even if they don't agree), then why the hell are you putting your trust in them to defend your babies? Koga was a weakling to allow even the slightest sniff of dissent, and Inuyasha isn't quite so simpleminded as he was here. He's seen enough evil and manipulation to catch onto it a bit faster than the layperson.
Anyway, cute story. You still need it beta read, of course, and to write an actual ending. I look forward to seeing how your skill as a writer grows and changes as you do. Best wishes! Yahnkehy
When you sign on with a beta reader, ask them to mark their corrections in a different color so that you can see the changes made and can confirm that they did actually beta read the chapter. I say that because there are still a multitude of errors--grammatical, spelling, punctuation and continuity--in the chapters that had been "beta read". Ruff(to point out one that made me frown in confusion) doesn't mean "not smooth" it's the frill of hair on the back of an animal's neck, right below their skull. Rough, however, *does* mean 'not smooth'. Confirming the corrections a beta has made is key to correcting the mistakes in your own writing so that you don't keep making the same mistakes.
Youki is the power the demons wield. Youkai is what the demons *are*. His youkai couldn't be upset, because he *is* the youkai and they don't see halves of themselves, the same way we can't sit back and see dad's half, or mom's half. It's just us, no parts or pieces that have more control than another. However, his *youki* can be upset, since it's the primal power throbbing inside the youkai. It can react on an instinctual level to outside stimulus, the same way you can get a bad feeling about something, just a little more intense.
The story line is adorable. It's cute and a little campy in places, but an adorable little story. I'm just trying to figure out who the characters are. Inuyasha, while he might be insecure about his place in the world due to the trials he's faced, isn't the kind of character who would simply go "Oh, so because this asshat (who I've never even spoken to before) suggests that I leave, I should just walk out without a word or backward glance." He'd more than likely have joined in with the fight and jeered at the idiots who were *rebelling* against their alpha and signing their own death warrants. To cross the alpha means death, because if the alpha can't trust his underlings to follow orders then that is a weakness that could cause the entire pack harm. If you can't trust your guards to support your orders (even if they don't agree), then why the hell are you putting your trust in them to defend your babies? Koga was a weakling to allow even the slightest sniff of dissent, and Inuyasha isn't quite so simpleminded as he was here. He's seen enough evil and manipulation to catch onto it a bit faster than the layperson.
Anyway, cute story. You still need it beta read, of course, and to write an actual ending. I look forward to seeing how your skill as a writer grows and changes as you do. Best wishes! Yahnkehy
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February 17, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Oh man, I forgot about this story. I'm glad that I found it again because it was great. Love that everything work out for them. Thanks for the read.
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November 3, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Is that all? Aren't you going to write about Inuyasha giving birth? Really not a good place to end unless you are planning a sequel.
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September 18, 2012 at 12:00 AM
So happy you finished! As an author perpetually writing wips I sympathize completely with the frustration of leaving things unfinished. And I agree I wasn't reading this fic for the fight scenes, choking the psychotic old fart did it for me. Thank you for your hard work.
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August 9, 2012 at 12:00 AM
I really liked it, but I think it ended too soon. I wanted to see the new pups.
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July 22, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Wow, when I saw this story was complete I had to go back and read the whole thing before finishing it up. This truly was a wonderful story that I am saddened to see end. I can't help but feel that there is more to tell... like in a sequel perhaps ;)? well either way it was an amazing read that I deeply enjoyed <3
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July 19, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Okay loved it but how many pups did InuYasha have? That is one of the burning questions I have and what the little one(s) look like...
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July 13, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Thats IT?! inuyasha hasnt even had his pups yet! YOU CANT END IT! AHHH lol