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March 18, 2011 at 12:00 AM
I'm definitely interested, but you really need edit these chapters pretty badly. Both the spelling and grammar's pretty bad. Sometimes it's pretty hard to follow. Things like "...wounder over to our side..." should be "wander over", a few times you said "looked" instead of "locked eyes", "Quit" instead of "quite".
I like where you're taking the story, but I gave it a +++ because of all of the mistakes. Try to re-reread your chapters before you submit them or find yourself a beta on the AFF forum. Here's the link: < http://www2.adultfanfiction.net/forum/index.php/forum/82-fiction-betas/ >. A lot of them would love to help out.
I like where you're taking the story, but I gave it a +++ because of all of the mistakes. Try to re-reread your chapters before you submit them or find yourself a beta on the AFF forum. Here's the link: < http://www2.adultfanfiction.net/forum/index.php/forum/82-fiction-betas/ >. A lot of them would love to help out.