rate_review Reviews

I like the summary and idea of your story, but this fic needs a lot of work. Proof reading is a must. There aren't many spelling and punctuation mistakes, but you mentioned two different girls named Rin (the child we know, and then an older stripper), and introduced Koga to Kagome twice - as if their first meeting wasn't memorable enough. There are very few details included in the story that don't have to do with the way a character looks. The dialogue is also rushed, and disjointed. These characters may as well be your own creations with as well as you're keeping them in character. I mean, how can Kagome and Sesshomaru have feelings for one another by the third chapter? And why is Kagome crying at the drop of a hat? And then there are all of the random strippers walking around and men acting like animals in heat...

The framework is pretty good, but the story is sloppy. Best of luck with the revisions.

So good. Gotta love giving the men heart failure. :)
Please tell me there will be a final chapter with both women going into labor at the same time.

I love happy endings.

This is a really good story. I hope that you are able to find a new love for Inuyasha since Kikyo is now gone. Inuyasha deserves someone nice to love him.

So far I like it! It seems a bit rushed, though. There's a few inconsistencies. Kagome was introduced to Kikyo twice like they had never met before and you've mentioned 2 Rins. One is Seshoumaru's [adopted] daughter and there was also a Rin that worked with Kagome at the bar. That was weird. Good job though. I look forward to reading more.