rate_review Reviews

Chapter 7

AHHHHHHH. NOOOOOOOEEEEEEESSSSSSSS.

Ok. Now that I have that out of my system -- onto the review. You did a wonderful job of writing Manten as a whining, self-loathing, sycophantic, sniveling, little piece of crap who can only prove his own self worth by demeaning and degrading others. At this point, if he were real, I am sure that your readers would have snipped him into little pieces for the worms to eat. He has taken everything that Sesshoumaru did and turned it into crap. grrrrr. I just don't know how to exactly express my displeasure in the actions of the character. Don't get me wrong. You did a wonderful job of it. He just irritates the living hell out of me.

I found the initial reaction of Yasha to be wonderfully done. I look at Yasha as being almost like his Id. It knows what it wants and it just can't understand why it didn't go the way it wanted. The personalities of Inuyasha didn't have a real childhood, so it is understandable why this more animalistic portion of his mind would try to turn on itself when things don't go it's way. The ensuing conversation between the human, youkai, and hanyou portions of his mind was sad to read. While I have to wonder just what would have happened if the youkai portion had taken the hanyou's suggestion, I'm glad that it talked itself out of the whole thing.

Pup's comment about the group hug really made me smile. It was one of the few really uplifting sections of this otherwise angsty chapter. kawaii koinu!

The last few sentences of this really tugged at the old heartstrings. (and the angst strings as indicated by the first comment in this sections) Inuyasha's plan to merge with his past and then die was terribly sad. It makes me want to beat Manten a little more...

At this point I see only a few options. First, the nurse could wake up and tell them that Inuyasha didn't attack her. I don't see her doing that because you describe her as quiet and meek. That kind of person might not stand up for another when they are being brow beaten. It is more likely that she will try to tell the truth once and then Manten will twist it to suit his preconceived ideas. Second, Inuyasha could last the 9 days - growing weaker and weaker - and then when a guard or something notices him going terribly downhill they call Manten who relaxes his iron fist. I don't see this happening because that would mean the idiot would have to admit that he had done something wrong. He would more likely kill the guard to protect himself and try to say that Inuyasha did it! Third, Sess could show up at the last minute and nurse the incredibly ill hanyou turned human back to help. This seems slightly trite, and you have been great for throwing me curveballs, so I don't see this one happening. Fourth, Inuyasha could die.

and that would suck.

So, I guess I'm saying that your work has me thinking and worrying about the characters and wondering what you are going to do. Huzzah!

Thanks for writing for us!

*sniff* *sniff* mewwww... i think the angst was a little low but still hard hitting. i liked how you did the meeting of minds it really brought out the visuals. i can't wait til next .

I think the angst was right, for the events in this chapter. Manten has nine days to be stupid. I wonder very much if he will actually be able to contain himself and not return time and again to taunt Inuyasha. I was somewhat surprised at the end, with the dominant selfs exceptence of death. It wasn't mentioned when the four where speaking and seems as if they weren't aware of the deadline at all. Looking back with that information, it seems that Yasha has chosen to die with Iny and Inuyasha, thus condemning Pup to die as well. Which seems in line with Yasha's 'heart' if you will. Pup would be devastated if any of the personalities failed and balance is the only way he's maintained hismelf. I felt teary at the end though, as Inuyasha calmly thought about embracing Pup at least and fading as Yasha dealth with the pain of death. I wanted to pick him and hold him and tell him he didn't have to. You're tearing me up here, honestly.

I shudder at the thought of Sesshemoru's rage. How Manten ever got this stupid, I can't begin to guess, an unhealthy overdose of arrogance, possibly. But I totally believe it. It's in no way unbelievable. I wondered though, how Manten is going to deal with the nurse. Is she dead by now, will he kill her, because that's the biggest hole in the story he spun to Inuyasha. Also, Inuyasha hasn't completely delt with that problem. He seems unable to focus on it and just went on. Not that I blame him.

Soaking your hands in warm salt water might revive your ability to type, a very necessary and desired outcome!

Saw Maten coming, no. Figured things wouldn't be pretty, yes. And no, not going to tell you how much I hate you, as I'm personally against insincerities ^_^ Thank you for Sesshemoru's role in this chapter. I particularly enjoyed his words to Inuyasha. And the interplay within Inuyasha's self. Quirked an eyebrow at the nurse falling down the stairs. She needs to learn how to use her tail, then again, maybe her type of demon are really not meant to be at the top of towers either, more like underground or near water.

Wow, though, 20K, you've really been on a roll!

Well, I promised myself some sleep. Don't be down on yourself.

I have to say, I'm really liking this story. While I hope that Inu winds up snapping and killing this traitor in Sesshomaru's rank, I'm sure whichever direction you take it'll be a good one. I like Sesshomaru's attitude, aloof but somehow deeply interested in Inuyasha, perhaps due to his great power, surviving such an ordeal. I can't wait for the next chapter, and to see how Inu and Sess' relationship will develop.

Very nice job on this chapter. I remember reading Truth in Blood, and wishing for an expansion (though your other work was a nice distraction, and very much enjoyed), and now I'm getting just that. Although the chapter was a little short, it was a transition chapter, and i'm admittedly impatient to sink my teeth into more.

Wow, this is really intriguing. I can't wait to read more and find out what happens to poor Inuyasha in the next chapter. Hopefully I'll get to find out soon!

Sanapet

I thought the section about the collar itself and the breaking thereof was really nicely done. I like that so much of Inu's inner personas were there to help protect him from the collar. I also liked that Sess was strong enough to defeat the evil of the collar. I liked his concern for the slave, shiro Inu or not.

I honestly got a little confused on the timeline of things after the collar was removed. Did they go the the King's palace and for how long? When did the cave-in happen? Was there a full day or two full days when the badger nurse was laying unconscious at the bottom of the stairs or was she found rather quickly and Manten just took care of Inu over those days. I think that you were trying really hard to get Manten left in charge of Inuyasha and things got a little convoluted. If you decide to ever go clean up that section, you might consider adding in a few hundred words to do a smidgen of clarification.

All in all, though, still rather enjoyable and I'm eager to read more.

mewwww..... poor poor inu and yasha. this is gonna be s rough transition and i'd hate to see seshie's response when he returns. i can't wait to read the next chapter. (starts rereading the others again)

omg this is so good please continue