rate_review Reviews

niiiiice! Now this story is very nice. I like it,
it's different and very interesting all together.
I wanna see how Naraku evolves, because it's goona be
hella fun!

1. I don't think this is a bad idea for a story. 2. I like the amount of details you used in the first few chapters but that seems to have disappeared. 3.once you hook Akira up with Naraku your story kinda gets a little jumpy and loses most of the detail. 4. I think with a better summary and just sticking with just the name Akira, as stupid as this may sound, will really get your story more hits and some r&r's. 5. The only other thing is maybe an extra space between paragraphs to make it easier to read. 6. Sorry I can't stress how good your detail was enough, like how you described the river and all that stuff in the beginning is great, but it get all confusing after naraku, like one second were in the Forrest and then the castle which all you really said was big. Like details about that and maybe more on akira's thoughts and feelings would really sharpen the story up.

Anyways keep writing & good luck :)

I can't wait to read more of this. Please continue, for Naraku's sake.