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schedule
June 11, 2012 at 12:00 AM
I like this story, interesting twist on it. I hope you decide to eventually continue it, or have someone else do it. I'd like to see what would happen next!
schedule
March 17, 2010 at 12:00 AM
good job so far, altough jakoustu behahavior is surpriseing. cant wait for update.
schedule
December 28, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Hihi just wanted to say I like your story idea, but its really confusing. I mean it seems like you've only turned Jakotsu into a flat-crested girl, while letting people think he's a guy. Either he's a guy or a girl saying he's lower half is this and his upper half is that, gets really confusing.
I think you should do a little research on the types of hermaphrodite-ism,(ya I know it's not the right term)and maybe rebuild jakotsu into something like that rather then leave him the way he is.
Also I get that jakotsu may well be a dependent personality type so he can be all clingy but bankotsu unless he is also wouldn't be calling jakotsu love even if its only a pet-name. Also bankotsu becoming nice all of the sudden after raping him is a little fast paced.
Anyways I look forward to seeing what you'll do with this piece, also I hope suggestive criticism doesn't make you feel that you've been flamed.
Miku
I think you should do a little research on the types of hermaphrodite-ism,(ya I know it's not the right term)and maybe rebuild jakotsu into something like that rather then leave him the way he is.
Also I get that jakotsu may well be a dependent personality type so he can be all clingy but bankotsu unless he is also wouldn't be calling jakotsu love even if its only a pet-name. Also bankotsu becoming nice all of the sudden after raping him is a little fast paced.
Anyways I look forward to seeing what you'll do with this piece, also I hope suggestive criticism doesn't make you feel that you've been flamed.
Miku