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rate_review Reviews

for Separate!

by Sylphide

schedule April 25, 2012 at 12:00 AM

You have an excellent beginning here! Already I'm curious as to why Sesshoumaru is, in this setting, referring -though only internally - to everyone else as 'mortal'. You've begun to establish an excellent tension with his character; I'd be intrigued to see this develop.

And I loved the dig on Inuyasha as having 'intimate knowledge' of STD's. Absolutely hilarious!

One small technical note: "red score bored" - you have to watch Word's auto-correct. It does funny things to your meanings. :)

I enjoyed this piece, and if you should choose to come back and continue it, I would be most interested.

Thank you for sharing and happy writing!