rate_review Reviews

the story is fine the way u wrote it though is painful. their are equasions of some sort that are just unessary and far too much space between
the phrases. your presentation needs work.

such an interesting story and boy did i love the threesome choices, it all seems so dark and promising and i definately havent read anything like this before so please up date soon.

This is a very good story so far. I do like how you went back to how Kagome was feeling physically. I do have one question. Who did she bite and did she leave a mark? Ok that was two. I look forward to your next chapter.

I'm sorry, but having two guys in you at once has gotta hurt. Especially for a virgin girl.

I gotta agree with Viperbites. All I could think of upon reading that was MASSIVE YOUCH!!!!! ESPECIALLY for a virgin, she'd be way too tight to accommodate two men, not to mention two men who are probably, considering fanon, well endowed. She'd literally get ripped. Maybe you could revise it to include a little back door action? Just so she could more rationally take them both at once, although that would hurt like hellfire too!

Anyway! That little scene doesn't detract from your skill as a writer. You've got a provocative, mysterious style that's instantly appealing. You pace the plot well, giving measured attention to strong characterizations as well. Yes, there are a few grammatical errors here and there, but you address those, and they're not enough to be distracting or impede your voice. I really enjoy this fic! Maybe just a few revisions here and *cough* there...

This was a great chapter. It in many ways helped with the one before it. I think that it will take Kagome time to heal and if I was in her position I wouldn't want either of those boys touching me for a damn long time. I might even kick their asses. I think she should. Like sending some purifying energy into both of them for their insensitivity.

noooooooooooooo don't stop it there!

This is def interesting so far-I hope u update -I'm curious to see where it's going!

mmhmm.. i like it. i was always a fan of naraku. yepyep, the SEXY villian. ohvery sexy. ahahah, threesomes are okay with me :D. tehhe, the more the merrier! AHA. ohman. anyway, i like it:) update soon!

Hey Lissa! How are you? I see you started a new fic. So far it's really good.

Of course its really good. Your a great writer. I always loves reading your stories. Keep it up.

Take care,
Suniko