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November 4, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Oh my god! I loved this. It was freaking awesome. This idea is totally original and freaking awesome. It would make for a very good story if you ever decided to expand on it. I loved the little Hiei action you added at the end for Madmiko. It was funny. The fnny thing is I even got a mental picture of it which is kinda funny.
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October 2, 2008 at 12:00 AM
OMG. I love it!!!! I told you medication works wonders on the muse!!! LOL! The last few lines were awesome! I wonder what those two were planning....hmmmm....
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August 6, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hello SPF!
I have read your story, and I quite enjoyed it! Snickered all the way through!
I would be interested in becoming your beta, as I am a beta for another person already. I have a profile here at AFF, under the penname/author name of "Phoenix Wolf", feel free to take a peek!
I unfortunately am not able to use my email right at this moment, I am on a borrowed outdated tower (and I have to say damned frustrated that I can't update my own frickin' stories!), so imediate email contact right now is out.
If you wouldn't mind waiting until about the end of August to the beginning of September, that is when I will be getting my "new and improved" tower back.
If you agree, you could leave me a review in "Girl in the Mirror" or "Let's Dance" (two of my stories) and we can try to work out some of the "details". Or you could email me at phoenix_wolf502@yahoo.ca with "Beta" the subject line, as I do go to my local library sometimes, where I have access to my email.
So, now it is up to you. What ever your choice is, it is no problem with me!
Until we meet again.
I have read your story, and I quite enjoyed it! Snickered all the way through!
I would be interested in becoming your beta, as I am a beta for another person already. I have a profile here at AFF, under the penname/author name of "Phoenix Wolf", feel free to take a peek!
I unfortunately am not able to use my email right at this moment, I am on a borrowed outdated tower (and I have to say damned frustrated that I can't update my own frickin' stories!), so imediate email contact right now is out.
If you wouldn't mind waiting until about the end of August to the beginning of September, that is when I will be getting my "new and improved" tower back.
If you agree, you could leave me a review in "Girl in the Mirror" or "Let's Dance" (two of my stories) and we can try to work out some of the "details". Or you could email me at phoenix_wolf502@yahoo.ca with "Beta" the subject line, as I do go to my local library sometimes, where I have access to my email.
So, now it is up to you. What ever your choice is, it is no problem with me!
Until we meet again.
schedule
August 6, 2008 at 12:00 AM
THIS story you have to ... either UPDATE or make a Sequel ... NOW
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August 5, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I love this story are you going to add more to it?
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August 5, 2008 at 12:00 AM
that is one of the funniest things i've read in a while. if koenma gets them out, maybe they can stay together as another squad of SD!
there is a problem with homophones -words that sound the same but are spelled differently. 'rapped' where it should have been 'wrapped'; 'your' should have been 'you're'; 'meat' should be 'meet'. another problem is with apostrophes; 'your' is already a possessive pronoun and doesn't need one. when you put the apostrophe after the 's', you're pluralizing (more than one) the word, so if only one possesses something the apostrophe should go before 's': Hieis’ should be Hiei's; Koenmas’ should be Koenma's; gods’ > god's etc.
other than those little things this is really a wonderfully humorous piece.
delighted,
ginny
there is a problem with homophones -words that sound the same but are spelled differently. 'rapped' where it should have been 'wrapped'; 'your' should have been 'you're'; 'meat' should be 'meet'. another problem is with apostrophes; 'your' is already a possessive pronoun and doesn't need one. when you put the apostrophe after the 's', you're pluralizing (more than one) the word, so if only one possesses something the apostrophe should go before 's': Hieis’ should be Hiei's; Koenmas’ should be Koenma's; gods’ > god's etc.
other than those little things this is really a wonderfully humorous piece.
delighted,
ginny
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August 5, 2008 at 12:00 AM
dear, a beta reader pretty much will do what i did in my last review. point out the typos/errors in spelling/punctuation/grammar and suggest the correction. usually they will give you a few word choices if they feel that something would sound better or be understood clearer. a conscientious beta reader would watch for plot holes, inaccuracies, inconsistencies and flow. if your piece is a serious canon they should know enough about the canon universe/characters/era to correct inaccuracies or should be willing to research these things.
i beta read but i don't read the lemons, although there are those who do. i believe that both adultfanfiction and fanfiction [dot]net offer beta forums although i don't know how they work. there are also 'beta reader' communities on live journal just search -interests- for 'beta reader'. i hope i helped.
all the best!
ginny
i beta read but i don't read the lemons, although there are those who do. i believe that both adultfanfiction and fanfiction [dot]net offer beta forums although i don't know how they work. there are also 'beta reader' communities on live journal just search -interests- for 'beta reader'. i hope i helped.
all the best!
ginny