AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Minoue

by doggieearlover

schedule June 14, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Wonderful chapter, though it was high time that Inuyasha and Kagome confessed to each other what the feelYou mentione that Sango wants to take Kirara with her to the dojo, and I`m quite looking forward in seeing Sango`s face when see notices that her cat is a youlai. Otherwisether didn`t happen much other Miroku trying to find something out about Sango`s past, which is a bit sneaky,though I`m alreadyy looking forward, when he finds something and thenlet`s something fall and get whacked on the head for. That is maybe the only thing missing in your story. Your story carries a wide range of emotions for the characters and also for the readers, which is one of the reasons why it is so outstanding, but there seem to be no comed relief moments in your story, or very few, where a reader can laugh heearily about a funny situation or some antics or another. In my opinion that`d reall make the story go round, and I hope ther will be some of these points coming up, because I mean your story is otherwise very quiet and sometimes even sombre. Nonetheless keep postin or updateing and I´ll keep on reviewing.
schedule June 14, 2008 at 12:00 AM
As to the humurous spots what I meant was as in the manga style, though your subtle humour also appeals greatly to me. This sort of humour though is far harder to implement, seeing as one needs great foresight to sow in the hints, but you manage admirably. Wher I was was really surprised was the explanation of Miroku`s name. Seeing the research done by you for this story leaves me wonder just how far along you planned when writing this story. I have a great amount of respect for your work. I liked the idea of some of the wolves of Kouga`s pack coming to train under Inuyasha, wonderful twist, it also shows what an unusual dojo Inuyasha leads. Your description of Kagome`s expectations and plans for her birthday made me think that Kagome really lived a life within a small group of people as does Sango, though the reasons are obviously of completely different nature. what I am really intrigued about was the concept of the three jewels that Mirokue taught about in his class at the end of the chapter and , this is pure speculation on my side actually, how theyy relate to the Shikon no Tama or does the hikon actually exist, for seeing as Naraku exists,and has alreay driven Kohaku mad and towards the slaying of his whole family, I wonder whether he is the Naraku we know and what hisgoals are. So I`m really looking forward to the next chapters. (Funny isn`t it how I drew an arc from Miroku`s lessons to naraku)
schedule June 13, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Yay, I'm really enjoying this story. I absolutely loved how you portrade Kagome's Mom and how Miroku tried to 'help' Inuyasha on his human night. I really hope things go well with them on her birthday and through out the rest of the story. I'm just impatient and may try to fing it on one of your other posting sites. I do read rather fast and tend to finish stories rather quickly. I just cant wait to see what happens. But even if I do read it on another site I will be sure to re-read it here and post my review. Love your work.
schedule June 13, 2008 at 12:00 AM
sorry for not reviewing the the chapter before this, so this will be for both chapters. The way you let Inuyasha act in the last chapter sjhowed really clearly what acaring person he is and I also think it still showed how unsure he is about being around people. I also get the feeling that there may be more to his history with Kikyou that you`ll reveal later, though this pure speculation (I also get the impression that Kikyou is not one of your favourite characters. In this chapter I really liked the way you emphasized the difference in relations that Miroku is trying to get into, due to the clothing of his students and the acting towards him. I also liked the idea of Miroke talking about religion and a spiritual world, which counteracts nicely to the behaviour he normally exhibits. What is really nice about this story is how it flows along nice and slow yet constantly growing and bringing in new information, never too much, just enough so one can easily process it. Ah it´s such a shame we have to wait a whole day for a new chapter (I`m kidding, don`t get angry at me again;) the wa you`re postin is fine)
schedule June 11, 2008 at 12:00 AM
OMG!!!! This story is fantastic. I just finished the prologue. I love the idea so far and I can't wait to see where you are going to take this story. So far it seems kind of dark but I see the light side of it to. Something like that could and would devistate most people, but Sango is strong. I hope the rest of the story is as captivating as this first part was. As usual I look forward to reading more of your work.
schedule June 11, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Well I must thank you for so much. First of all for reading my review, then that awesome huge response you gave me, it shows you so care for reviews. Then of course for your patience in explaining everything to me.I must also apologise for thinking that you did niot value the aff.net community as much as others, it was wrong interpreting things into your actions without proper information. Then I would want to say that there are some authors who take into account suggestions that are made by reviewers and some that do not, although you do not that is no resasons for me think that you do not value reviews, for that I apologise. As for this so called power I hold over you, I do not hold any power over anybody save over my own meagre self, anything else is a misunderstanding. As for the bum-licking I mentioned it is only a very strong way of saying that somebody is smarming up zo another person to get in his good books, and if I offended you I am sorry. Nonetheless on to the chapter. This chapter had everything that I have come to expect from you, meaning it is well written, nicely reaable and grammaticallly immaculate. To the contents. The entrance of Kirara is a nice touch and the way that she ends up with Sango really reflects on her strong character and sharp intelligence, portraying her perfectly. The point that she also moves in with the needy, persons who are lonely is a very nice touch. Miroku was shown in a somewhat more comical light with him being a bit on the klutzy side, though that makes him more sympathetic. As for Kagome, well the devious streak you showed in her character makes her character have a few more points that aren`t as nice and soft as in the manga, though that does not mean she is OOC, far be it, in my opinion, and mine only, you have made her more interesting that way and I am looking forward on how you will continue developing her character.
so until the next chapter
schedule June 11, 2008 at 12:00 AM
so far I have been captivated by this story but I am taking my time reading it. I am reading so many right now.Anyway I just finished the official ch.1 and I love how you portrade Miroku and Inuyasha. You are building the characters beautiful and their relationships with each other. Your story is flowing and blooming as it should without being forced or strained. I look forward to reading more of this and to see in what direction you take it. As always keep up the good work.
schedule June 10, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Your story is rally wonderful and you are an exceptional writer, and it finally is taking up sprrd There are also relatively few sex scenes so far, not that I`m complaining, Your strilogy about Iny Yasha and Kagome as mates, had more than enough sex to last for twice the length , and it`nice to read a story which draws is atmosphere completely out of it`s storyline and not out of the sex scenes, though the other story has an extremely well written storyline as well, no doubt. But there is one request I have. I followed a link of yours and found your site on which you post your progress and I was shocked to find that this story is actually already at chapter 30. While I understand your intentions of giving us your story piecemeal so that we ,your loving and loyaal readers. stay hooked to this story, I for one yould stay hookes to it no matter what. The problem is that even though we can give criticism off in our reviems, hopefully of the constructive sort, we have no way of influenceimng the story or it`s outcome with our reviews, making only into an instrument of either applying praise or dislike of the chapter since criticism is meaning less as we are powerless to influence anything. And while that may sound selfish to you, that we the readers would want to influence you the author, who has has so much hard work , I also think that such actions are, please forgive me for saying such a thing, extremely selfish and disrespectful of us your readers, for it robs us of a chance to communicate with you on a level where we are eye-to-eye and reduces us and the people who take it upon them to leave a constuctive reviem behind to mer fops who are only good for licking one`s bum, and I clearly think we have not done anything to deserve such a fate.
I do hope you have read this review and I hope you did not find it too offensive, it is just the way I feel about the situation, and not intended to hurt anyone`s feelings, just to be some constructive criticism
person zianeu
schedule June 10, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Well, I haven't read the chapter yet (but I will) I just read through your A/N's and I have you say you get full respect for artistic integrity.

I usually assume if something has 30 chapters up from the get-go that it's either been up for awhile (I'm a skimmer of the updates, I admit it, and might miss that the uploaded and updated day are the same, or miss the story entirely), or that I've looked at it before and thought is was insipid/repetitive/what have you, and I don't read. A few times I've been pleasantly surprised recently and proven wrong, so I'm trying to be better about that.

The smut comment from my other review was NOT an insult-- I'm an honest girl... sometimes I /want/ some sex and/or violence (usually not in the same act, LOL, but you know what I mean). Sometimes... not. I meant nothing but compliment to your smutty scenes, they were, overall, hot without being too Fabioriffic (which is bad, share the adjective with your friends-- it involves being too perfect and/or obvious female fantasies that could star anyone from anywhere).

I'll probably drop by your site sometime-- honestly, most likely on a day when other serials I'm reading aren't updated. Don't know if you already have one or not, but if your site has an RSS feed, I'm way more likely to make return trips because I'll stick it in my feed reader. Of course, there's always DAPP.

AFF is improving-- I had stopped cruising the site when it was an increasing stream of poorly written one-offs that made not so much sense. Like I said above, sometimes I'm about some hot and heavy sprinkled in, but enough is enough. I'm glad you didn't go that route with this-- and with Thoroughly Modern Miroku, you so could have, and I was afraid you would... but no, so yay.

And now to read the chapter which I bet I will like, but if there's something particular to comment on I'll be back to do so.
person Ruka
schedule June 9, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Heyy ! :)
i love the new story. it's so great .
can't wait for the new chapters.