rate_review Reviews

Nice teaser chapter... I hope you don't continue to use the emoticon faces throughout the story, because it's sort of distracting. If a character has a reaction or a face to make, then describe it in your prose. If the emoticons are your reaction as an author, then they're really unnecessary. Put your thoughts in your Author's Notes or incorporate them into the narrator's voice somehow, is my advice.

Looking forward to the real meat of the story. Lots of potential. Your dialog is very crisp.

Sounds interesting cant wait to read it.

Love Always^
^Dei Dei