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for Come Undone

by obsidiantresses

schedule March 21, 2008 at 12:00 AM
i love the story but i still don't know what her wants so you have to update soon so i can find out. Untill next time.
person Anon
schedule March 20, 2008 at 12:00 AM
This story is good, but why are you using "you"? Use "I" or "me".

I breathe ... instead of you breathe ... etc ... It looks weird when you have "you" all over the story, you know?
schedule March 20, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Wow this is wow...really great I like how you put it as if we are the person. Congrates you got my attention. Hope you up date soon I would love to read more.