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April 25, 2008 at 12:00 AM
this is such a great story! my only problem is why does sess need glasses or contacts? shouldnt his youkai healing abilities fix any eye problems? and even if it doesnt why wouldnt he get laser eye surgery so that nobody would know he needed glasses as poor sight is a weakness.
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March 31, 2008 at 12:00 AM
i love this story. its so cute. i hope you update soon... can you contact me if/when you do?
much love
~~**laura**~~
much love
~~**laura**~~
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March 4, 2008 at 12:00 AM
The story is getting better.
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February 26, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Continue or I kill! LOL JK but really please continue. ^_^
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February 25, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I am really enjoying this story and where it leads you!lol It is great to have an author that gives speedy posts. I like it ,,,yep I like it a lot.:)
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February 25, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hay listen don't let flammers get you down! There is a 1000+stories out there if they have a problem with yours maybe they should mossie on along lmao!!!It is your story write it how you see it! I PERSONALLY LIKE IT!
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February 24, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Yay you updated! I can't wait for more.
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February 24, 2008 at 12:00 AM
When writing dialogue each character is supposed to get their own paragraph regarless of how much is said. By combinging them the way you did it makes it hard to understand. Don't forget your "" you've missed putting them in making your dialogue even more confusing. You have a lot of spelling and gramtical errors as well. I'm also a bit confused as to how them going out is going to make Inuyasha upset.
If Rin is 8 why is she being carried like a toddler? My kid is 4yrs old and 4ft tall and 34lbs and he's considered small by German standards. An 8yr old is taller and heavier. No in their right mind carries an 8yr old. You're asking for back pain later, trust me. Expecially if Kagome is only 5'5. Maybe Rin is just small for her age. Really small. Why is Rin talking like that anyway? Does she have speach issues or something? I know she talks like that in the anime but she was also mute for a while and younger than in your story and suffered repeated trauma. She also speak in complete complex sentences just using her name instead of I. Don't draw off of the anime/manga since you made her older think of 8yr olds you know and use them as a guide line it'll make it more believable.
If Rin is 8 why is she being carried like a toddler? My kid is 4yrs old and 4ft tall and 34lbs and he's considered small by German standards. An 8yr old is taller and heavier. No in their right mind carries an 8yr old. You're asking for back pain later, trust me. Expecially if Kagome is only 5'5. Maybe Rin is just small for her age. Really small. Why is Rin talking like that anyway? Does she have speach issues or something? I know she talks like that in the anime but she was also mute for a while and younger than in your story and suffered repeated trauma. She also speak in complete complex sentences just using her name instead of I. Don't draw off of the anime/manga since you made her older think of 8yr olds you know and use them as a guide line it'll make it more believable.
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February 24, 2008 at 12:00 AM
nah, i loked the chapter, you let your characters talk so it's normal if it doesn't come out the way you want it too. looking forward to the next update.
BTW do you have an email group to notify in case of updates? if so can you add me? thx ^^
BTW do you have an email group to notify in case of updates? if so can you add me? thx ^^
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February 24, 2008 at 12:00 AM
This story is so awsome. The premise seemed cliche at first but your take on it is really good and funny. ^_^ cant wait for you to update.