rate_review Reviews

Please finish this good story.

To be honest, I was really looking forward to reading this. I was a bit disappointed in the sentence structure,the over use of Dear brother/sister ( Really just the general overuse of Dear), and the constant switch of him/her when in refrence to Inuyasha. I found the story incredbly hard to read as most of the time I was trying to figure out what was actually meant. I think the story idea has potentional, I just think you may want to consider a beta to help.

I only read up to chapter 4 before I pretty much gave up trying to read more. Good luck with your future writing

Chrys

I think you have a good idea, but I see some definite problems in the execution. First I'd say you should try to find a beta. Because you have a lot of errors scattered through the story that take away from it. Especially in this last chapter. It looked like one section repeated itself at least twice over. Also I'd watch the ooc in the characters. Things will be different since this is a canon story, but I wouldn't go too far. Main thing, watch the giggling. Sesshoumaru is not a giggler, no ifs, ands or buts about it. And lastly, I'd watch for inconsistencies in your storyline. You have a number of those also, things that maybe a beta could pick out for you. So I guess that's my main advice. Find a beta who can correct grammar, who can check your storyline, and who knows the seres and can pick out any little mistakes made.

very good chapter baby can't wait to read the next hope you update soon

i didn't see that coming. so now what???

I love this story!!!!!! I hope you post more soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YES!!!!!! A new chapter, I love it! So, InuNoTashio and Izayoi have come back, for a little chat, huh? It was great! Update soon, B reading U!

hope she feels better. looking forward to the next one.

great chapter baby can't wait to read more

great chapter like it update soon again