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July 27, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Wow. Sephiroth's going to be aging like a human! There's a twist and a half. I can't wait to see how this ties in to the rest of the plot, nad how the story as a whole develops further.
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July 25, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Wow. Sesshoumaru is a real jerk. I like the way you've portrayed Sephiroth, though. And witht he way you've written him, he and Kagome look to be a great pairing. My pet peeves? I don't see any sign of your story deteriorating far enough to let any of them creep in, but as you asked:
1. Run-on sentences
2. Blatant misspelling (I can tolerate a word misspelled here and there, but when you can't go more than five words without misspelling one, I have a problem.)
3. Missing or misused puctuation. (Again a goof here and there doesn't get to me, but a dearth of commas and apostraphes gives me headaches. I've actually seen fanfics that the author didn't use any punctation except the period. Not even quotation marks *shudder*)
4.; Stories that are written like a (poor) school essay (E.G.: '"Oh my god you are so perfect I can't believe you aremine" he said passionately kissing her.')
5. Stories that run too fast, where there really isn't enough time for the characters to develop the motivation for what they're doing.
And I think that's it. Those are the ones I hate the most, anyway. And unless you change your current writing style dramatically, I can't see any of these creeping in. Your story is paced nicely, you have obviously taken the time to write it well, and check your spelling and punctuation, and it actually reads like a story, not just a recounting of a series of events and statements. I'm really enjoying it, and looking forward to more.
1. Run-on sentences
2. Blatant misspelling (I can tolerate a word misspelled here and there, but when you can't go more than five words without misspelling one, I have a problem.)
3. Missing or misused puctuation. (Again a goof here and there doesn't get to me, but a dearth of commas and apostraphes gives me headaches. I've actually seen fanfics that the author didn't use any punctation except the period. Not even quotation marks *shudder*)
4.; Stories that are written like a (poor) school essay (E.G.: '"Oh my god you are so perfect I can't believe you aremine" he said passionately kissing her.')
5. Stories that run too fast, where there really isn't enough time for the characters to develop the motivation for what they're doing.
And I think that's it. Those are the ones I hate the most, anyway. And unless you change your current writing style dramatically, I can't see any of these creeping in. Your story is paced nicely, you have obviously taken the time to write it well, and check your spelling and punctuation, and it actually reads like a story, not just a recounting of a series of events and statements. I'm really enjoying it, and looking forward to more.
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July 25, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Sephiroth/Kagome? That is a first. I absolutely look forward to it. Keep up the good work and PLEASE update soon!!!
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July 19, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Wow, I really enjoyed reading this so far. The story is progressing at a nice pace, everything is explained, but not over explained, and the spelling, punctuation and grammar are very good. In short, an intriguing plot, none of my pet peeves are present, and it's shaping up to be a great story! I'm looking forward to the next chapter!
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July 16, 2007 at 12:00 AM
excellent start on this story, please update soon!!