rate_review Reviews

dude this is so wrong it is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What's up with the baby? No no no no no no no no no no... You cannot tell me that Naraku still won or anything. He is just one of those mischeivious children from birth or something like that?

I enjoyed it though. It was a chilling fic. Good luck on working on your other fic.

Oooooooooooo... That was suspenceful. Update soon. I gotta know what happens next.

You're welcome and no problem about the help. I'm glad that it helped improve this story as much as it did as far as the readibility of it. Well, talk to you later. My "grandbabies" have been noisey all morning and their mama has been hiding out in my living room. LOL I've taken the pics of them, so I will email them to you as soon as I load them onto my jump drive.

Take care. Peace, love and fun.

i wonder what's in the cave will someone die or what i really like the chapters i hope u update soon

I'm not a big fan of AU fics, but this is an interesting idea. I can't help but wonder though, from the way you write, if English is not your original language. You write like it is not your native tongue, which acts as a deterrant from getting your ideas across. But with time, I do believe you can be better.

Haha. I liked that little bit of Army pep talk/ cheering pep up at the end. Your spacing has improved tremendously since the first chapter. Great job. Keep up the good work. I love this story. It's serious, but seems to have just the right amount of humor.

I want to say that the idea for this story sounds really good, but you really need to work on spacing it out. Make paragraphs, fix your noun-verb agreement and skip a line between each paragraph are the best peices of advice I can give. I am going to try to go through and read this.

I am not taking a dive on you or anything. I am not trying to hurt feelings or make you feel bad. I sincerely hope you do not. I merely want to help.

If you have any questions or wish to contact me, my email is melrosefaulkner@yahoo.com. I will gladly answer it. (Yes, I know my work isn't perfect if you go through and check. It takes me forever to beta my own work b/c I have to have time to forget what I wrote before fixing it, and I am not patient enough to wait to post it. LOL I also beta for two other writers.)

Take care. Peace, love and fun.

PS~(I know. You want me to shut up and all that, but I just wanted to reassure you.) I will leave a review after I have actually gone through and read this.

Spacing the chapter made it a lot easier to read. This is a good story. I enjoyed it and can't wait for chapter three whenever you post it.

When you start spacing your story, each speaker gets their own paragraph. For example:

"You want me to stop now?" asked Koga.

"I think I saw something over there," she replied.

"If there is somebody there, they are getting front row seat to free porn."

Have fun. I will IM you later probably. You can always add me to your friends, that way if you want to ask for help, you can check to see if I am on. I don't mind. I know a lot of people's weaknesses are grammar, spelling and word usage. It is one of my strengths. (Obviously or hopefully since that is what I teach. LOL)

PS: I loved that little scene in the cave with her getting worried right in the middle of their of their meeting. It cracked me up. Is Kagome going to keep switching and swapping between Inu Yasha and Koga? That is so wrong to flip flop. Oh well, I guess I will just have to wait and see.

Take care.